Immer: This idea was literally a slap to my face. I was writing up another chapter of one of my other works when this hit me. All because of an image I had seen earlier about Levi in a store with chibi Mikasa in a little kid's push cart thing.

I have no idea who to pair Levi with. Or if he should be paired with anyone. I have like two ideas but one I'm feeling eh with and the other is controversial.

Warning: This story will have major feels. There will be lighthearted moments, sweet and bittersweet, and then some really dark and depressing themes. So if you're okay dealing with the deep parts every now and again, be my guest. Also, this is my first attempt at first person point of view.

Story title previously known as Sacrifice by tatu changed to Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling because it was more fitting.

Chapter One Family Ties

SHINZOUwoSASEGEYO

I was a prodigy, I suppose you could say. At a young age, around eight I believe, I picked up an old violin. My uncle heard me play, and even though I probably made it sound horribe, he saw the potential. He told me that if I poured my heart into this, then he would see about paying for my lessons.

It was the first time he ever did something like that for me.

Before then, he would be hurtful. Not physically, but emotionally and sometimes mentally. Thinking back on it, I realize he didn't know what he was doing when he took me in. I'm not defending his actions or anything, only reflecting why our first few years together were hard on us. He was learning how to parent as he went, and he taught me things normal parents wouldn't dream of doing.

Like fighting. He taught me how to use my size to my advantage. He taught me how to use a knife. A real knife, not a flimsy butterknife. These things come to me as second nature now, all thanks to him.

When I started school no one wanted to be my friend. A group of boys picked on me, since I was so small. Remembering what my uncle told me about not letting anyone shove me around, I instigated a fight with them. This somehow turned the leader as my longtime rival, and his friends were scared of me from then on.

But my uncle was proud. And yet even then he didn't show me any support into what I found interest in. That all changed when I found the violin and played out of simple curiosity.

We were going through old stuff of the house he inherited from his grandfather. The old man heard my uncle was taking care of me, so he left us the house in his will. It was a big house, so much bigger than the tiny and cramped cheap apartment we had lived in. And so we started cleaning it up and patching.

That was when I found the violin. It was in a box shoved to the corner of a closet. I pulled it out and on top of random junk there was a case. I opened it out of curiosity of the shape of it and it was an old fully intact violin. To this day I don't understand what possessed me to pick it up and play, but it was so strong that I had to.

So I started playing.

Even though it hadn't been polished, and had a bit of dust on it, it still made beautiful notes. I started fiddling with it, experimenting how to make different notes. When I felt I got the gist of it down I started putting them together into a random song.

I was so lost in my own world I hadn't realized Kenny had walked in and stopped. I don't know how long he stood there, listening, but when I was done he cleared his throat. I whirled around out of fear, afraid I had touched something I shouldn't have and dropped the violin. I closed my eyes to brace myself for the yelling.

It never came.

I peeked and stared as Kenny knelt down in front of me. He had the violin in his hands, staring at it. Never in my life have I seen him be so gentle with anything, even years after this day. Then he looked up to me, and I stared in shock.

"Look, kid. If you wanna pursue this, you gotta promise me you'll pour your heart into it. Don't give up on it. If you really want to play, then I'll see what I can do about payin' for your classes."

Too shocked to find my voice, I nodded vigorously.

From then on life was easier. I don't know if it was the house, or my interest with the violin, that had us bonded like parent and child should be like, but I like to think it was all of the above. Alarmingly enough I started looking up to him. I was no longer scared of him.

I don't know if I was ever a son in his eyes, but he trusted me well enough to help hide bodies when I was twelve. I never asked questions. I figured it was better I didn't know, anyway. One could say I looked up to him enough that it clouded my judgment about his random killing sprees. Or say that he was my only family I had left, and I wasn't going to lose him.

Honestly, I wouldn't know. At the time playing the violin and learning the piano was all that had my attention. Helping him was just a means to ensure our lives wouldn't have to be more complicated. I rather liked how it was. Though that was also probably because whenever he needed help, the bodies were already wrapped and ready to be disposed of. It gave me the illusion that this was okay.

I lost count how many he killed.

By the time high school rolled around, I finally made two friends. One of them, ironically, was my long time rival, Farlan. Then Isabel barged into our somewhat stable friendship and stayed there. By graduation we were the unstopable trio. We were so inseperable that when a war started and I was enlisted before them at eighteen, they volunteered so we would be in the same training.

I wish they hadn't.

A few years passed in a flash. I was promoted to captain, youngest in a long while to achieve the title, and had my own underlings. But even then, nothing prepared me for the tragedy, even after watching so many of my men die. When we were sent into front lines everything went wrong. There were pressure sensative bombs underneath our feet. They both pushed me back when a few went off, but that didn't save my left leg from the knee down. But a leg was nothing compared to the loss of them.

In the hospital, I made another friend. We enjoyed each other's company. He had lost an arm, while I missed a leg. And so we recovered together, leaning on each other, having lost comrades and limbs at the same time. When we were cleared to go home, I had a prosthetic limb, but he refused the offer for his arm.

Somehow we lived in the same little town steadily growing into a city. He was older than me by a decade, and he lived on the opposite side of town and went to different schools. So the chances of us bumping into each other were low.

At this time I wondered why I haven't heard from Kenny. Or why the house seemed almost abandoned when I came home. This should have raised alarm bells in my head, but I had somewhere to go with Erwin later that night. So I cleaned what I could, left, and picked up Erwin from his place.

He lived in a nicer neighborhood than me. Granted, back in the day my neighborhood had been considered the best for well off families. Then as Rozen expanded and modernized my neighborhood became run down and filled with crime. Hearing sirens go off at all hours of day and night was the norm.

Erwin lived in the more modern expansion neighborhoods. His father was a professor. He works at the university in the next city over. So Erwin had the graces of growing up decently. I didn't hold it against him, just surprised he would actually befriend someone from the worst area in town.

That night the townspeople of Rozen welcomed us. Some cried for the deaths of the fallen. Our class graduation held a memorial, and it turned out Farlan and Isabel weren't the only ones who were lost due to the war. Everyone had turned up, crowding and gathering the area chosen for the memorial. But there was a face missing.

"Where's Kenny?" I inquired a somewhat familiar face.

"Hm? You mean Kenny the Ripper?"

What? Are we even speaking of the same Kenny?

"Kenny Ackerman." I stated coldly.

"Wait, you don't know? No one told you when you were in service?" He, she, whatever stared at me.

Was this some kind of sick joke?

"What happened?" I snapped, glaring.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't have to look up to see Erwin. I was too focused on the brunette with thick glasses. The other paled, but didn't hesitate to answer.

"He was convicted last year for killing at least twenty five known people. He's held in Sina Prison, the highest security prison in the next city over. Was he someone you knew? Because you're lucky to be standing here! What was he like?" Their fear was overtaken by a disturbing amount of curiosity.

"He was my uncle, shitty Four-Eyes." I growled.

Suddenly the whole room went quiet. People stared, and I grit my teeth as whispers started. The illusion of my welcome broken, I turned and left. As I headed for the door, I overheard whispers as I passed by them.

"He's related to Kenny the Ripper?"

"I remember now! Kenny raised him!"

"He was raised by a killer? Did he ever...you know..."

"No wonder he's so cold."

"Bet he helped hide the bodies."

I left the memorial service and sat in my car. I put the keys in but didn't start the engine. I was Erwin's ride. I sat there, breathing heavily, feeling the weight of everything crashing down around me. It was similar to the loss of my friends and my entire platoon.

I didn't realize I was having a meltdown, that I was crying and screaming. I didn't know the door opened, and I couldn't hear Erwin's words. Something touched me and I started thrashing, sent into a complete panic. I was pulled out of the car and held tightly into someone's lap.

"Levi, snap out of it - captain!"

Somehow that word snapped me back. I choked and released a whimper as I took in my surroundings. I was in Erwin's lap with his arm around me, and the startling realization of feeling his body against my petite frame was strange, but I found comfort in the embrace. I buried my face into his chest and continued to sob.

"Why didn't they tell me? Those filthy pigs never told me shit. I had wondered why the house was so filthy, and why he wasn't home."

He was my uncle. Sure, he wasn't the greatest man around, but still. I was more infuriated that no one told me while I was overseas. And I warned the idiot not to get caught when I was gone. Or maybe evidence was found? It was all too confusing and a real hard slap to the face.

"I don't know why they wouldn't, but I have a few friends higher up who can help. I'll call them up and ask what they know." Erwin assured, and his words calmed my fury.

Footsteps cautiously came closer.

"Hange, we're having a moment." Erwin warned.

Hange?

A memory came. I remembered that face now.

"You're the nonbinary soldier. The one that doesn't care how people see you and let them decide for themselves." I recalled when they pestered everyone with personal questions. Their service had ended and went home just before I went to the front lines.

"Now you remember, captain." Hange smiled.

"Sorry. Memories a little jumbled." I suddenly felt tired.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I should really learn how to reign in my curiosity, especially if I want to be a therapist."

I yawned, my eyelids felt heavy.

"If you want, I can drive you guys home. I saw Levi driving earlier, and if Erwin can't drive I'll be glad to help. I came here by bus, Moblit took my car to work. And I have a valid license. But the only downside is I have to stay for the night. Moblit works graveyard tonight."

What's the harm then? I usually never let anyone drive my car, but I was too exhausted. And I was too comfortable being held by Erwin to let him drive. Plus Hange had valid reasons to help.

"Fine. But do you know where we're going?"

"Everyone knows the Ackerman house."

After that night Hange and Erwin became my support. Erwin was worried about me living alone, especially in a big house, so he moved in shortly after. A five bedroom, three bathrooms two story house that was basically a small mansion, was too big for one person. And since this was known where Kenny the Ripper lived, it would be pointless to sell. Not that I would sell it anyway.

Shortly after I started college. I picked up a violin again, I played the piano once more as well. It was like the rains after a long and dry drought. The relief to be able to play and let the emotions come out and set the mood was gratifying. And I hadn't lost my lessons, it was as if the few years gap hadn't happened.

But after my first semester my life was turned upside down again.

I was enjoying a celebration of finishing a semester with Erwin, Hange and Moblit. We were all drinking and having a good time. Then the phone rings. Erwin was closest and picked it up.

"Ackerman residence. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to this fine evening?"

I snickered at his habit. He picked it up when people would prank call, or try to be a tough male of masculinaty and threaten my existence, but then lose their shit when Erwin answered with those words.

"No, but I can bring you to him." Erwin stood up and handed it to me.

"Who is this?" I grumbled, I had hoped to enjoy the evening.

"Hello, is this Levi Ackerman?"

"This is he. Who are you and what do you want?"

"This is Ms. Petra Ral speaking from Child Protective Services. Sir, are you aware you have other family?"

"Not that I know of. My uncle wasn't close to anyone else if there was." I perked up as I processed those words. What was going on?

"Well, he had another sister. She was married, and they had a young daughter together."

"And this is my problem why?"

I know I shouldn't be too harsh on this woman, but I was being honest.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman died earlier today in a murder. The child managed to escape and found help. But it was too late for her parents, but she's fine. Looking through family records, we found your name listed as her cousin."

I sat there in a momentary shocked silence.

"...Ms. Ral, are you insinuating what I think you are?"

By now everyone was quiet. Eyes stared at me, curious about the one sided conversation. I crossed my legs and ignored them. This was too serious to have distractions.

"She has no other family. If you are willing to take her in, then I would like to inspect the house, know a little more about hour income and verify you're able to provide for her."

"Can you give me a moment?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Ackerman."

I placed the phone down and sighed, biting my lip. I ignored the questions, thinking long and hard. I was barely up on my own feet in life even at twenty two. My only saving grace was the house left for me and the benefits of my military services. I had just started college to pursue my dream in music. And now a kid has only me to be named next of her kin after a tragedy of losing both parents.

A part of me wanted to say no.

But then I thought of Kenny. I remembered the day he took me in. Even at the age of five I knew he didn't want to. Things were difficult between us until I was eight. From then on we understood, we clicked. But the point was even though he clearly didn't want to take me in, he did it anyway.

Why did he do it?

That question always haunted me.

But my best guess was because I was family. I was the only living legacy of my mother, the sister he was closer to I'm guessing, since I never heard of another aunt. And with a heavy sigh, I picked up the phone again.

"How old is she?"

"She just turned five, sir."

Same fucking age I was when Kenny took me in. A wonderful repeat of events, wasn't it? Except Kenny had been older and had a stable job. I was part time cahsier and a student. I knew that this would make everything difficult for myself, but I wasn't going to let a poor girl rot in the system all alone.

"All right. When do you want to do the inspection?"

For the next week I dragged in Hange and Moblit to help Erwin and I to work on the house. We worked hard to baby proof everything, cleaning, and readying a room for her. We didn't buy her a bed or anything else she would need for her room just yet. We repainted it to a soft purple color just in case I'm approved.

When the day came for the inspection Ms. Ral greeted with a smile.

"You look different than I thought you would be." She stated and I twitched.

At least she politely made a jab at my height, I'll give her that. I gave her the tour around the house. Overall she was glad we were taking this seriously to accomodate for the young girl. She gave me a few pointers to improve a few things, but for the most part she was pleased.

"What's her name by the way?" I forgot to ask over the phone.

"Mikasa Ackerman. She's still refusing to speak much. The poor girl is scared. She might have angry outbursts or crying - "

"I mean no offense, but I know how post traumatic stress works. I served in the military until last year." I pulled up my pant leg to show the ankle of my prosthetic.

"Oh! I hadn't realized. I'm sorry. So you were in the military, too? I was a medic nurse at one of the hospitals. Sorry again, I just recently got this job." Ms. Ral apologized, relieved she didn't have to go over something she herself probably had.

"I'm meeting more and more from the military. Small world." I commented, hoping to ease up the conversation.

"Isn't it? So um, do you live alone? This is a a big house just for yourself."

"I have a friend living here. His name is Erwin Smith. We were placed in the same room in the hospital we recovered in. He's in school right now to be a teacher." I answered.

"That's great. It's good to see soldiers helping each other out. Do you both work?"

"He works full time at the local pet store and takes online classes. I work part time at the corner store a few blocks down and go to school two days out of the week."

"So you both get income. That's good news. What are you in school for?"

I decided to answer, even though I sensed she was getting too personal. It's her job to understand where they're placing a child under someone else's care.

"I'm in for music. Haven't decided what area to go for just yet." I admitted.

"Oh, that explains the piano downstairs."

What, did she think it was decoration?

"Well, Levi, I don't see any major problems here. Do you think you'll be ready for her by friday?"

No. I'm not ready at all. And I noticed with annoyance she went with my first name instead of being professional. But I forced back the bile in my throat.

"Of course. I'll have her room ready by then."

Internally I was screaming.

"Great! I'll bring Mikasa over, let's say around two? Is that okay?"

"That's fine, Ms. Ral."

No it wasn't. I will have to call in and ask to change shifts with someone else that afternoon. But I didn't feel like changing the time, I needed her out quickly to gather myself.

"Okay, see you then." She left.

I locked the door and then pressed my back against it. I slid down to the floor, curled up like a child. I breathed in and out slowly, focusing on one thing at a time. I stayed like this for what felt like hours, when it could have been minutes. As I had calmed myself, I came to the reality that this was actually happening.

What did I get myself into?

In that moment I suddenly felt a lot more respect for Kenny. He had probably felt the same I was, right now. And while he was fit to be a parent was questionable, he did it anyway. For the most part I turned out all right. Mostly. Okay, that too was questionable, but I'm trying. And now I find myself in the same boat as my uncle, some odd years later.

For Mikasa, I hoped I could do better than Kenny did with me.

My watch beeped, letting me know it was almost time for class. I stood up and gathered my keys. I wanted to save the money on gas but I was to pick Erwin up after my class was done. His shift usually ended by the time I got there. And so I locked the house and got in my car and headed towards campus after a once over I brought my violin.

And with the anxiety rising about taking in a kid, something else came forth. It was something random and unexpected that filled me with hope.

I hope she likes music.