1. Booty Shorts

Tony Stark's entire body ached and he rubbed his jaw. He was sure that a bruise was already starting to form. Damn, Natasha she really knew how to throw a kick. Even though she was some kind of super agent and Tony knew that she could handle a punch, he was still hesitated to punch back. He snorted, maybe Pepper was right and he did have a gentlemanly side.

He look around the gym at Avengers HQ and he couldn't help, but smile. His former friends turned enemies turned friends again all looked as exhausted as him. After the events of Civil War he hadn't thought that he would be in the same room as these people let alone be training with them again.

But in a lucky twist of faith it seemed to have worked out. Tony had reached out to Steve first, but he always denied it if someone asked. After that everything seemed to have fallen into place. Steve had suggested a training session as a sort of bonding exercise and him Natasha, Wanda, Vision, Steve, Clint, and Sam had gotten back together. All that was missing was Bruce and Thor and the entire gang was back together. Still it had been a good forty minute work out and it had broken some of the tension that was still there.

Tony secretly checked his phone to make sure that the kid hadn't contact him. Ever since Vulture had been captured, Peter hadn't been as mouthy and he hadn't sent Tony a five page paragraph essay complete with a works cited page about what he had done when he had been on patrol. Tony kind of missed him, but he knew that while he had been trying to get the team back together Peter had been busy with school, playing with Ned, and he had recently gotten a summer job.

He had told Tony that he had gotten a summer job at Mr. Delmar's bodega. Tony had run a background check on the place where Peter had gotten a summer job, without Peter's knowledge of course. Peter often complained that Tony was being too overprotective, but Tony preferred the term cautious. After all Tony had been betrayed by people he cared about way too many times and Peter was not going to go through that as long as Tony was alive.

While Sam and Steve joked around, Tony made sure that Happy had forwarded all of Peter's messages to him. The last one had been at 3:30pm. One hour ago, it simply said that Peter was going to head to work with Mr. Delmar and that he and Ned tried out the donuts on 64th street.

The team didn't know about Peter or the fact that he was Spiderman. They haven't even asked about the kid, all except for Sam who mentioned something about kicking Spiderman's skinny ass.

The team started drying off and the tension of the past few months seemed to disappear. "I'm starving," Wanda complained. "Let's go out to eat. All Stark has is caviar and fancy crackers."

"I can cook." Vision offered

"No!" the team said in unison and Vision looked crushed.

"We can order pizza." Sam offered.

Steve looked squeamish. "No thanks. We ate pizza a lot when we were in hiding. I want to eat at a nice restaurant with actual chairs."

"You heard Cap." Tony joked. "Hooters it is. I'll call to make sure that they have a table for us."

Steve turned red as everyone looked at him amused. "No, Tony I don't want to go to Hooters again. Last time I went there were a bunch of young ladies in short shorts and shirts that barely covered their midriff's."

Clint snorted. "That's part of the uniform, Einstein. Anyway, Hooters is closed down for the next three months. Something about reconstructing the place."

Wanda threw a devilish smile at Natasha. "We can go to Cobra." Cobra was a new restaurant in Brooklyn which was the male version of Hooters. There were extremely attractive men wearing blue short shorts that could have been tight boxes and were walking around shirtless. They also served wings and burgers and were very popular with teenage girls, gay men, and old ladies from church who played bingo. Natasha smiled. "Their burgers are good."

Sam shook his head. "I don't want to go to a gay club."

"It's not a gay club." Wanda said with a roll of her eyes. "It's the same as Hooters, but with male servers. Is your masculinity so fragile that you can't enjoy one simple dinner?"

"My masculinity is fine," Sam huffed. "Fine, let's go to Cobra. Their food is delicious after all."

Cobra was full given it was a Friday night, like Wanda had mentioned it was filled with teenage girls and a bunch of college students looking for cheap beer and some eye candy. A Host with blue eyes and wearing too tight green shorts led them to a table. "Your server will be here soon. Peter, I need you to cover this table."

Peter, that reminded Tony. He checked his phone, but there was still no answer.

"M-Mr. Stark, what a-are you doing here?"

Tony raised his head up so fast that he nearly knocked down Steve's drink. In front of him was a pale and slightly on the scrawny side Peter Parker with no shirt on. He was wearing tiny blue shorts that hugged every curve of his bottom. Tony had never seen the kid so red, not even during the Game of Thrones sex scenes.

He saw the team looked confused at Tony's clenched jaw. He looked pissed like he wanted to punch someone. Tony turned around slightly and saw that there were several people looking at Peter's ass a bunch of teenage girls who were acting like they were in a one direction concert and a bunch of pervy, middle age men with wing sauce down their shirts.

Sam frowned. "Your voice sounds familiar, have we meet-"

"What the fuck are you wearing Parker?" Tony screeched.

Peter blushed harder, he couldn't believe he was standing in front of the Avengers half naked. "My uniform."

"And how long have you've been working at this establishment?" Tony tried to keep his voice down, but it was hard since he wanted to yell at the boy. Peter look down, refusing to answer. "How long, Spiderman?" he whispered the last word.

"Dude, they'll hear you!"

"I don't care."

"Wait," the smirk finally left Clint's face. "This kid is Spiderman." He looked at Vision for confirmation who nodded. Natasha smirked, the cat was out of the bag.

"I can't believe we got our ass kicked by a kid in booty shorts."

"They are not booty shorts!" Peter protested, his voice becoming squeaky, he wanted to cry from embarrassment.

"At least he has nice legs," Natasha chirped as she got a couple of fries.

"Zip it Romanoff, Peter put this on so you're no longer half naked. We're going home." Tony said tightly as he handed his suit jacket to Peter so that he could use it as a dress or whatever. He was a little taller than Peter so at least the jacket covered his ass.

"My stuff!" Peter cried out.

Steve said dryly. "I'll get it and Tony stop shouting, people are staring." Tony shook his head as he dragged Peter outside. Happy was arguing with one of the guys from valet parking. His eyes widened when he saw Peter looking miserable, Tony looking pissed, and the Avengers looking amused. "Peter, what are you wearing?"

"Shorts," he responded. "And Mr. Stark's jacket. Thanks." He said as Steve handed him, his backpack. Tony pushed him inside the car and the Avengers each went to their own cars, obviously disappointed on missing the show.

"Where to boss?"

"HQ. Aunt May, can't see Magic Mike over here."

Peter reddened. "I can explain."

"I would love to hear it," Tony said sarcastically. "I thought you were working at the bodega, not a strip club!"

"Cobra is not a strip club." Peter sounded tired. "Mr. Delmar's niece came to visit from Texas and he gave her the job instead. I got the job at Cobra, there are not a lot of places that will hired a fifteen year old."

Tony groaned. "But Peter, Cobra? Do you honestly enjoy being half naked? Do you know how many dirty men were staring at you probably placing you in the middle of their gross fantasies."

Peter wrinkled his nose. "That's gross, Mr. Stark."

"Exactly, why didn't you tell me about your little dilemma. I should take away your suit for keeping this from me, are we having another Vulture episode only this time you end up with your legs around a pole."

"Of course not," Peter looked offended. "The stunt at Cobra was just a job, I needed the money."

"Why?" Tony looked at Peter with concerned, Aunt May and Peter weren't wealthy, but they were doing fine. He knew that Peter's parents had left him some money for when he turned eighteen and Tony was planning on offering him a college "scholarship." "Kid, you're not having money trouble are you? Is your Aunt ok?"

"Aunt May is fine." Peter blinked.

"Then why do you need the money?"

Peter reddened. "You'll laugh at me."

"No, I won't. Tell me why you need the money or I'll drop you off in Times Square in your shorts."

Peter flushed. "You wouldn't!"

"Trust me I will, now why did you need the money?"

Peter avoided looking at him. "Ned and I-we want to purchase the new Lego Star Wars limited edition Millennium Falcon, it's painted with gold and it has 500 Legos. But it costs $500 dollars, Ned and I decided to split it up. He got a job at an ice cream shop and I got a job at Cobra."

Tony stared at him in disbelief. "A toy, you did this for a toy? You got a job that required you to wear booty shorts and be gazed on like an object so that you could buy a damn toy? You practically became a baby prostitute."

"It's not a toy," he squeaked. "It's limited edition."

Tony laughed, relaxing for the first time. "Tell, you what kid how about we don't tell Aunt May about this situation." He nodded eagerly. "And how about I hire you as the Avengers errand boy for the summer. You can stay at HQ and get to know the team."

Peter nodded eagerly. "That sounds great, Mr. Stark."

There was silence until Peter broke it. He groaned. "I can't believe the Avengers saw me in booty shorts. They are going to make fun of me."

Tony laughed. "Yeah, they are not going to let you live that one down."

"I hope you weren't too hard on him." Natasha said as she looked up from the magazine that she was reading once Tony entered the room. "He's still a kid, despite what he was wearing."

"At least he has a job if the whole hero things fails," Sam pointed out.

"Zip it, Wilson," he snapped. "By the way, I just offered the kid a job, he's going to be staying here this summer and the Cobra incident better not come up. Don't embarrass the kid."

Clint rolled his eyes as he played with one of his arrows. "Who do you think that we are?"

"I know you. Vision, Peter's room is next to yours. He gets easily freaked out, so knock."

Vision looked offended. "I always do now."

Steve looked confused. "Does this mean, Peter is an Avenger now? Tony, the kid is fifteen."

"Of course not," Tony headed towards the bar. "He was the one that rejected the offer, do you honestly want the kid to be as messed up as we are?" there was silence. "Too soon?"

-End of Part One-

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