*I do not own these characters and belongs to E.L. James

This is my first story, so please comment and tell me what you think! I'm starting with one chapter and awaiting feedback. Hopefully you guys like it and I continue.

Well it's one thing to fall in love
But another to make it last
I thought that we were just beginning
And now you say we're in the past
Look me in the eye
And tell me we are really through

You know it's one thing to say you love me
But another to mean it from the heart
And if you don't intend to see it through
Why did we ever start?
I want to hear you tell me
You don't want my love

Put your hand on your heart and tell me
It's all over
I won't believe it till you
Put your hand on your heart and tell me

That we're through
Put your hand on your heart

They like to talk about forever
Most people never get the chance
Do you wanna lose our love together
Do you find a new romance
I need to hear you tell me
You don't want my love

Put your hand on your heart and tell me
It's all over
I won't believe it till you
Put your hand on your heart and tell me
That we're through
Put your hand on your heart
Hand on your heart

Look me in the eye
And tell me we are really through

"Ms. Steele? Ms. Steele? Ana!"

I suddenly snap out of my daze, ripping the headphones off my ears and see Lauren, my assistant standing in the doorway, "Ms. Steele, you have a call on Line 2." She gives me a weak smile and walks back to her desk.

"Anastasia Steele," I answer.

"There you are, I texted and called your cell a couple times. I thought you were bailing on me."

I let out a soft giggle "Of course not! Sorry, I've had such a crazy day I didn't even get to eat lunch. I can't believe it's almost after two."

"Ana, you know how important it is to eat."

"Yea, yea, I'll grab something light. I need to tie up a few loose ends and I should be out of here by five o'clock and stopping home to change. I'll see you at dinner?"

"I'll see you tonight. I love you."

"I love you too," hanging up the phone.

"Mmm, that dessert was delicious," I say licking the last bits of chocolate off my fork.

"I know something that tastes even better," flashing me a naughty smile.

"Behave—"

*clink clink clink* "Can I have everyone's attention please?"

"Good evening everyone, I'm Ray, the bride's father. I want to thank you all for being here to celebrate Ana and Matt. I hope you all are looking forward to tomorrow as much as I am, because let me tell you, New York City isn't a cheap venue." The table roared with laughter as Ray continued.

"Again, thank you all for being here. Let's all raise our glasses, to my Annie and Matt. I am so happy for you two and wish you a lifetime of happiness. Cheers!"

I stand up giving Ray a kiss on the cheek and whisper in his ear, "Thank you, Daddy. I love you so much."

"I love you too, kiddo," he replies as we take our seats.

The rehearsal dinner went rather quickly but I was exhausted. Most of the party scattered and went their separate ways, leaving a handful of guests behind.

"Hey babe, tired?" Matt crept up from behind nuzzling his nose into my neck.

"Mmhmm. How about you and me go back to my room and… sleep?" I offer him.

"As much as I'd love to 'sleep', I have to take my parents, brother and grandmother back to their hotel. And you, Miss Steele need your beauty sleep. We have a big day tomorrow."

"Why couldn't you guys just stay at this hotel? Yours is all the way across town." I ask, furring my brow.

Matt runs his finger over my brow out of habit and replies, "Because grandma said she's not hip enough to stay here, whatever that means. Besides, if I stay here I'll be tempted to sneak into your room later and fuck your brains out. I think that's bad luck and we can't have that, can we?" He smirks.

"Ugh, you suck. Can you at least stay for drinks?" I pout but it does no good.

"Nice try, baby. I would love to but everyone is exhausted from the flight in. Please don't stay out too late. Tell Kate to behave. Call me when you get in, ok?"

I sigh knowing he won't budge on this. "OK. Have a good night, I love you. I'll see you at five o'clock sharp," I say giving him a quick kiss goodbye. Before I make a step, a mass of blonde hair stops me in my tracks.

"STEELE! Come on, take this white virginal dress off and change into something a little… shorter."

"Oh come on, Kate. It's not that bad."

She scoffs, "No, it's not but listen, this is your last night as a single woman and we need to have one last night of fun. Come on, please? I haven't seen you since Ibiza!"

"I'll have a couple drinks. TWO. I can't get plastered the night before my wedding. My mom will kill you," I threaten.

"Oh please, I can handle Carla. Come on, let's get you dressed."

Apparently, I had nothing suitable to wear so Kate loaned me one of her dresses. It's an emerald green bodycon style dress, with a cut out at the waist and back with a modest high neckline. It barely covered my ass and I'm not sure how it covers Kate's since she's taller than I am.

"YOU. LOOK. HOT!" She screams.

Tugging on the bottom of the skirt, "Kate, this is too much. I should change."

"Oh shut up, you look great. Now, let's go. Maybe I can still find a date for tomorrow," she says dragging me out of the room before I could change my mind.

"Whatever happened to that guy you were supposed to bring anyway?" I ask though I know better not to.

"It turns out I dated his brother a couple years ago. Super awkward. It wouldn't have worked out anyway so no big deal." She says looking defeated. She and Elliot broke up not too long after I moved to New York three years ago. I tried talking to her about it a few times but she didn't really say much. I never pushed it but it's obvious she still misses him.

"Well ok then. Let's go find you a hot date!" We squeal as we enter the elevator to the rooftop bar in our hotel.

We get to the rooftop and the music is blaring. Kate orders us a round of drinks and we sit on the far edge of the bar to avoid the masses of drunk people knocking into one another. I had my bachelorette party three months ago and I haven't seen Kate since then, we've been so busy with our lives so we spend the time catching up. She recently left her job at Kavanagh Media to work for The Seattle Times. Ultimately, she got bored and decided to shift her direction into production. She landed a job as a Newscast Producer and couldn't be happier. To keep her father content, she still freelances for Kavanagh Media.

"Let's dance!" Kate pulls me off my stool before I can answer and we're sandwiched on the dance floor. I can't tell you how much time has passed but I haven't had this much fun in a while, let alone with my best friend. I see a cute blonde guy getting close to Kate and by the way her body is grinding on him, I don't think she minded.

"I have to pee! You two… do your thing," waving my hands at the show they're putting on.

I return from the bathroom and I see Kate still on the dance floor. I contemplate one more drink but I need some sleep. I walk towards Kate and scream to get her attention.

"KATE! KATE! I'm leaving, I really need to get some rest. Will you be alright?" I give her a wink and she nudges me in reply.

"Just be safe. Call me if you need anything ok?" I give her a kiss on the forehead and take the elevator down to my room. I fumble with my clutch and can't find my fucking room key. "Just great," I murmur. I hop onto the elevator again down to the lobby and get a new key card with no problem. At this point, my exhaustion is gone and decide to go to the lobby bar for a night cap.

"Good evening, Miss. What can I get for you?"

"I'll have a gin and tonic. Hendrick's if you have it, or Bombay Sapphire. Cucumber with the -" I am suddenly cut off and hear the tail end of my order.

"…Hendrick's, lime with the Bombay. I'll have the same."

I don't move. I can't believe what I'm hearing. No, it can't be. I'm not sure how long I am staring at the bartender but I give him a curt nod and take a deep breathe. I finally gain the courage to turn towards the voice over my shoulder and I see him.

"Christian."

"Anastasia."

"This isn't fucking happening. Of all days," I whisper quietly to myself. He looks handsome as ever though he's changed a bit over three years. He looks a little older, his hair peppered with a few greys. He's not the clean shaven Christian I once knew and is now sporting serious stubble on his face, a beard almost and I like it. Even under his suit jacket, I can tell he's gained more muscle. But his eyes, his beautiful grey eyes... they're darker; sad even.

"What are you doing here?" I ask irritated.

He smiles at me, cocking his head to the side, "Well, Miss Steele, it's nice to see you too. I was on my way out from an event. What are you doing here?"

"I live here. Not here, here but you know what I mean."

"Yes, I heard you moved a few years ago. How do you like it? New York agrees with you."

"Are we really going to do this dance? The last time we spoke, you made it perfectly clear that would be our last conversation. So what is it that you want, Christian?" I snap at him. I gather my purse, leaving cash for the bartender and quickly get out of my seat. As I turn to leave, he grabs my hand.

"Ana, please. I just wanted to say hello," he pleads.

"Hello, Christian and goodbye." I adjust the fucking dress riding up my ass and make a step forward. Christian still has a hold of my hand and calls my name out again, "Anastasia! Really, I saw you from the lobby and I knew I'd regret it if I didn't at least say hello."

I pull my hand out of his grasp and I hear a small grunt, as he shakes his hand to relieve the pain. Then he sees it, he catches a glimpse of what scratched his palm. His eyes lower and quickly flicker back up to mine.

"You're engaged."

"I am. I'm actually getting married tomorrow, here of all places." We stand in the middle of the lobby with people coming and going. We stand for seconds, minutes; I don't know but I finally make a move towards the elevator and press the call button. We're standing twenty feet away from each other and haven't broken eye contact.

"Are you happy?" He yells from across the lobby. Before I can give him an answer, the elevator door opens. I stand there for a moment, wondering if I should at least give him an answer. Instead I give him a small smile and step in and watch the doors close.

The ride to my floor is intolerable. I feel like I'm suffocating. I hadn't noticed until I got to my room but my tears were swirling, blurring my vision. I switch on the light and see Kate sprawled out on my bed.

"Kate? What are you doing here? I thought you hit it off with that guy."

"Ugh, right after you left, his girlfriend showed up. So typical. I've been calling you, where have you been? I left my key in my room but I had yours. Where were you?" I felt my mouth moving, but nothing came out. Unsure if I was at a loss for words or gasping for air.

"What's happening, Ana? Cold feet?"

"I umm… no," shaking my head. "I just, I just saw Christian downstairs. He, he's here on business, at this hotel. He's here."

I violently kick my shoes off one by one and plop down next to Kate. She's not saying anything and it scares me. Katherine Kavanagh always has something to say.

"Did you speak to him?" she whispers, moving the hair out of my face.

"Kind of. I told him I'm getting married. He asked if I was happy."

"What did you tell the jackass?" she asks sitting up, getting ready for the Kavanagh inquisition.

"I didn't tell him anything. Shit, of course I'm happy! I'm getting married, why wouldn't I be happy? I just walked away."

"Damn Steele. Relax, I was just asking. How did you feel when you saw him? How does he look?"

"He… looked good. He looks older but good. God, Kate! I'm not sure what I felt. Definitely angry, then confused and then sad all within minutes. It's been three years, I moved on, he moved on… I shouldn't feel this way. For fuck's sake I'm getting married tomorrow." I cry as a smother a pillow into my face.

"Ana, that's all normal. He's an ex, we've all been there. If I saw Elliot I would feel the same. Don't think too much about it, alright? Just sleep it off and you'll feel better in the morning. Please? We'll start the day off with room service and get ready for your big day. Please just go to bed."

"Ok." I toss and turn most of the night thinking about everything but Christian until sleep finally takes over.

"Ana, are you home?" Christian calls out as he walks into the foyer.

"Up here!" I yell and I practically hear him take two steps at a time up the staircase.

"I've been waiting all day to see… what? What are you doing?" he asks, beginning to pace while he takes in the sight of the piles of clothing on the floor.

I sit down on the bed patting the empty spot next to me, "Christian, we need to talk."

"I think I'll stand. What the fuck is going?" I glance at the corner of the bedroom where I have a small suitcase, not making eye contact with him.

"Christian, I promised you I would give this whole thing a try, a trial run but it's not for me. I'm ending the contract. I hope–" he interrupts.

"Then get out." He says emotionless.

"Can you let me explain first? For once, please let me talk."

"You have one minute."

"Like I said, I tried but I can't do this. For fuck's sake, I don't know who I am anymore. I do everything you ask, everything you want and I turned into this person I barely recognize. You are fucking breaking me. Breaking me down piece by piece into nothing. It feels like I gave you all of me and I get nothing in return."

"Ana… baby, you knew what this was about. Whatever we have going on here was outlined in black and white. What else do you want from me? I told you not to expect anything more and you said fine! As long as you have me. You fucking have me so what made you change your mind? I held up my end of the contract and I have given you everything you need and fucking more!"

"That's not what I need! I don't give a fuck about Escala, the clothes, the gifts or any of your money. I don't want it! I don't want any of it! We've been through this! I need you! Not dominant Christian, I need YOU. I want YOU and you can't give that to me. I want more and yes, you've tried and thank you for trying but it's not enough. Parading me around your family like we're in a real relationship was fun but no, no more. If this is all you can give me, I have to go. Fuck, Christian! I'm in love with you and I know that's breaking the rules but fuck your rules. I love you and I need to leave because you can't love me back. Look at me! Someone in love should be happy, do I look happy to you?"

"Anastasia, FUCK. You can't leave. Please, please don't leave. What can I do to make you stay? We can go over the contract, make some changes…"

"Forget your contract, Christian! I just told you I loved you! You're just not getting it. Fuck your stupid contract. I never wanted to be your submissive, it was a fucking mistake. I thought that… I thought that I could change you and make you fall for me but I was wrong. Shame on me, huh?"

"Are you sure? You have to be sure, Ana because once you walk out that door there is no coming back. Once you're gone, that's it. You're gone forever. So why don't you take some time to think about this and maybe you'll come to your senses."

"FUCK YOU. Think? That's all I ever do! Thinking of ways for you to love me. Thinking of ways to break down your walls. Thinking of how I want to jump off this fucking balcony because I'm not enough for you. With or without you, you consume me. It's pathetic, isn't it? I don't know how I let it happen but my life begins and ends with you! I'm just protecting myself, Christian. I need to walk away before it's too late. It's already too late."

"Ana… no. Please don't say that. Baby, listen I'll try harder ok? You know my issues, it's not you."

"Oh, believe me I know! But naïve little Anastasia gave you a chance anyway and stuck it out for two months. And try harder? You've hardly tried at all! You're not going to change, Christian… not unless you want to. That evil bitch manipulated you so badly you believe you don't deserve more. You have everything at your fingertips but you keep everyone, including me at arm's length. You tell me I'm different from the rest of them but the only difference is that I don't bend or break at every command. You liked the defiance. It was new and refreshing but that's all it was. I was a challenge and congratulations 'cause you fucking won."

"So that's it? You're just giving up on us?"

"Us? You just said… everything was written in black and white. There is no us, there is Christian, the dominant and Anastasia, his submissive. That's all I ever was to you, right? Just tell me. Look me in the eye and tell me anything."

We stand in silence, just staring, waiting for some miracle to happen but it never comes.

"I'm sorry… I'm really sorry but I can't love you. I'm not capable of that."

"Ok… I guess my time is up, huh?"

"I guess so."

"Goodbye, Christian."

**Song – Jose Gonzalez: Hand On Your Heart