Chapter Fourteen

"You were right, feeling clean did help for the moment," Henry told Regina as they walked down the hall to Emma's room in the hospital. Regina kept an arm around him.

"I'm glad…" Regina stopped and held her stomach as she groaned.

"Mom?" Henry asked Regina just barely straightened up as she ran to Emma's room and found it empty.

"No, no where are they?" Regina asked just as Henry reached the door too.

"August," Henry told her. "She wanted to talk to him." Regina grabbed his hand and they disappeared.

"What did you do?" Emma asked holding her belly. Hook and David stood around her defensively now and August was frozen on the bed. Mary Margaret was at Emma's side wondering how she could help her. The Author now stood behind Gold free from his prison inside the book.

"I told you Ms. Swan, any use of magic would greatly affect your baby's fragile existence," Gold told her as he held a tiny heart in his hands but it had gone black.

'Fuck why did I think he was bluffing, I just wanted to get her heart back,' Emma cried in her head.

"Not only have you killed Cruella, you've killed your own baby, seems that you are on a slippery slope, Ms. Swan. Two kills in one day." Regina appeared with Henry at the door. "Ah Regina, just in time, I suppose you'll be wanting this back now." He tossed her, her baby's heart before disappearing with the Author. Regina caught it and fell to her knees as she stared at the heart in her hands.

"I'm so sorry Regina," Emma sobbed. "I just wanted to get her heart back, and I killed her instead, I didn't realize she was so attached to my magic."

'She so it is…was a girl,' Regina thought. A sob caught in her throat, as she felt Henry slid down beside her as he also realized what was going on.

"Emma, I told you she was weak, I told you to rest," Regina cried as she cupped the little tiny, dark heart in her hands. She kept wishing for that inner red light to shine through, but it wouldn't. It was just still.

"I know I'm sorry I just wanted to talk to August that's all," Emma cried before she cried out in pain and blood rushed from between her legs.

"Oh I think your body is going into labor," Mary Margaret told her through her own tears. "Regina a little help here." Regina took a moment to realize that her baby was about to be born stillborn. And she couldn't even be the one to give birth. They returned to the hospital where Emma was rushed into a birthing room. Regina went in with her, and glared at Hook when he dared to walk in.

"I'm not leaving her," Hook told her glaring back.

"Is nothing sacred anymore," Regina grumbled as nurses rushed around them to get Emma stable, and she yelled at Dr. Whale that only Regina held the baby.

Regina felt miles away as Hook held Emma's hand, like they were anxiously awaiting their baby, and they likely one day would, because Emma was a hero, and by some terrible twist of fate, Hook was suddenly considered one too. One thing was for sure Emma wouldn't be stupid enough to knock her up again. She supposed even if she could try again she could ask Robin, but didn't want Zelena's child to not only be her niece or nephew but brother or sister to her own child. They had enough weird family ties. No, Henry was all she would ever have, because she would always be the Evil Queen. The one person who she never got to meet would never see her as that no longer existed.

Emma cried out and tried to push Hook away from her, but the pain was so bad she ended up clamping down on his jacket rather than pushing him away. This was not how this was supposed to be, she was not supposed to be giving birth to this baby, Regina was supposed to be giving birth to this baby. Regina was supposed to be filled with hope and excitement as she pushed this baby into existence. And Regina was supposed to hold her and kiss her messy little head as she cried in her arms. She was supposed to be crying and she wouldn't cry thanks to her stupidity. Emma was lost in all the things she'd never see. She'd never see Regina smile contently at their baby. She'd never see her smile back, there would never be family walks with Henry walking ahead of them, Regina pushing the stroller and Emma with her hand lovingly on the small of Regina's back. And that contented look they would all have despite the lack of sleep. And they would return home not to the mayoral manor, but to their home their dream home. And in the garden Emma would build her daughter a little hammock swing so she could rock contentedly while Regina worked in the garden. Emma had never seen Regina in the garden, but she wanted too. And she wanted to come out kiss her baby before stealing some of whatever Regina had harvested before getting her hands just as dirty and helping her. She wanted those sleepless nights and to never miss a moment of this baby growing up, but it wasn't meant to be.

"Regina!" Dr. Whale yelled bringing Emma back to the present, she hadn't been really pushing but it didn't seem to matter she could feel the baby coming.

Regina moved forward in her surgical gown, and took Dr. Whale's seat. For a teary moment she just tried to pretend like the head coming towards her didn't belong to a now dead baby. The baby's head popped out into her hands, than the shoulders, the rest of the body came next. Regina's heart was broken as she held her daughter she barely noticed that Emma cut the cord with shaking hands. A nurse came over and led her over to a table where she had already prepared some warm water. Regina carefully bathed her taking care to note all her features and when she was all clean she noted her blond curls and Regina was sure the birth mark on her butt cheek was in the shape of a hot cheeto. She wondered if she had Emma's green eyes or her own brown ones. Regina considered raising her eyelids to look, but the idea of her baby's eyes being lifeless was too much, for now she looked as if she was sleeping and that was the way it had to stay.

"I don't have any clothes for her," Regina told the nurse sadly in a quiet voice.

"Mary Margaret and David brought this for her," another nurse said producing a beautiful white lacy dress with a headband. Regina took it, but shook as she prepared to dress her baby for the first and last time.

"Why don't we take her into the private room, before you dress her and present her," The nurse suggested "We'll just do a diaper and blanket for now. Regina nodded. She swaddled her daughter and followed the nurse through a door into a really nice room obviously used for grieving parents. There was a changing table and even a bath if the parents did the bath there. Regina put her down in the bassinet and got rid of the surgical gown, for just a second she needed to pretend like they weren't in the hospital. The nurse took it all away and left out, but someone else came in before the door shut. She knew it was Emma from the sniffling as she came up beside her and looked down at their baby.

"She's beautiful," Emma sniffed. "I didn't expect her to have my blond hair."

"I'm sure it would have darkened," Regina remarked tearfully.

"Can I hold her?" Emma asked. Regina nodded and moved to the side. Emma picked her up gently and cradled her. She kissed her forehead. "I'm so sorry I was so stupid, I never wanted this for you, never."

"Just shut up right now, I can't deal with you, I just need to be with her right now, I just need her," Regina whispered as her hands balled into fists and she squeezed her eyes shut to get control of herself. This was all the time she had with her daughter and damn it, she wouldn't be angry. She would be sad, she would fill love, but she would not mark this time with anger that was for later. Because if she got angry now she might burn the whole place down or she might run away and then her baby would be taken away and she'd regret not spending this time to grieve with her in her arms. They took turns holding her and talking to her for over an hour.

"What was her name?" Emma asked after Regina returned her heart to her chest, a part of her held her breath as if she might suddenly wake up after all and cry with weak lungs. And she noted with just as much sadness as Regina's tense shoulders slumped as she too waited an extra-long moment hoping against all odds for a change.

"I don't know I told Henry to choose it but not to tell me until she was born," Regina told her. "I wanted him to present her." Emma nodded and rubbed her back, but Regina pulled away, and Emma couldn't blame her thought it did hurt. They dressed her together and brushed her hair before Emma found a basket and settled some blankets in it.

"What are you doing?" Regina asked sniffing. "I'm not carrying her out in a basket."

"It's not to carry her, it's to hold her and make a cute picture, I don't know about you, but I need at least one picture and for now she just looks like she's sleeping." Regina nodded and watched Emma position her on her stomach with her little fists cutely tucked up under her head. She pushed her legs up so her little butt was sticking up. Regina recognized the pose from a shot she had gotten of Henry in a little suit. Emma took the photo with her phone. Regina couldn't take a smiling photo with her, but Emma did get one of them cuddling and vice versa. Emma wasn't in a smiling mood either nor did it seem right, she wanted to save their love on film not fake happiness in the middle of a tragedy.

"I'm going to give you a few minutes alone, you deserve that in here, I spent a lot of time denying her, and not enough time enjoying her." Emma kissed the baby's forehead and rubbed Regina's back again before leaving out. Regina let a few more tears fall as she hugged her daughter close, she wasn't ready to leave the room and let go, but she knew she had too.

"You were going to be one of the best things that ever happened to me, and I love you so much sweetheart," Regina told her. Regina kissed the baby's forehead again and she felt a bit of magic flow through her and her body returned to showing signs of pregnancy, but she knew she wasn't pregnant. But a part of her suddenly felt her daughter again, in her magic, before she was gone again. Regina let out fresh tears.

'My one saving grace was I didn't have to look at my body and know she wasn't there,' Regina thought. A knitted blanket and a note appeared beside her from Emma. Granny had been working on a blanket while they were gone; she had brought it over as soon as she had heard. Regina took the white blanket and swaddled her daughter as she wiped her tears.

"We should present you at least once right, you were so close to your brother, I dare not, not let him hold you." Regina lifted her daughter and after she composed herself she walked out of the room and down the hall to where everyone was waiting. Henry got to her first all teary eyed and gently took his sister. It was unspoken between them that Regina had brought her out just for him, and he had every intention of holding his sister at least once.

"She's beautiful mom," Henry told her. Regina gave him a sad smile. She didn't notice that Emma got a quick photo before she walked over now dressed and looking normal as if she hadn't given birth.

"I thought that we could still present her and have her christened," Emma told her. "If you are okay with that?" Regina nodded as Tinkerbell also walked over teary eyed and hugged her and took the baby from Henry after a few more minutes.

"It is with great pleasure and sadness that Regina, Emma, and Henry present to you their little Princess," Tinkerbell told those all there, quite a few people from town had come in, Regina noted. "Henry if you could tell everyone her name."

"Charlotte, Princess Charlotte Emma Mills." Regina and Emma looked at Henry in surprise.

"It's what she asked me for, well that and something else, but I just have this feeling she'd rather I didn't use that one just now."

"Princess Charlotte it is," Regina agreed. Emma nodded as well.

"Then I Christen thee, Princess Charlotte Emma Mills of the Enchanted Forest," Tinkerbell recited. She placed some oil on the baby's head before Mary Margaret came forward and was allowed to hold her. They showed her off before Regina gave her one last kiss and handed her to the nurse to take her away. Regina watched them go until she disappeared and then she ran for the bathroom and vomited until there was nothing left to come up. She was surprised that Emma was the one that took her home along with Mary Margaret. She didn't say anything though as she just went up to her room and lay in bed hugging herself trying to feel like her daughter was still there, safe and protected inside her.

"Did she get out of bed at all?" Emma asked coming in. She had been chasing down Gold and the author, but hadn't caught them yet. He was really trying to turn her dark and she was struggling not to do so after Charlotte.

"No, Henry's with her now, but I took her up some tea and she drank it today, yesterday she wouldn't touch anything, he also tried to cook dinner and she at least tried it for him before I brought ice cream that she just let melt." Mary Margaret commented. "She threw this at me though." Mary Margaret held up a ring. "Quite nice, I can't believe she threw it."

"I can," Emma sighed as she took the ring and stared at it. She hadn't even taken off her ring and she knew it was bothering Hook.

"Emma you know I don't care, if you love Regina, you love Regina," Mary Margaret told her.

"I know you don't, it's just we're not meant to be in this life," Emma told her.

"Who says?" Mary Margaret asked.

"She's the evil Queen and I'm the Savior, in….in…my dreams this wasn't so." Mary Margaret looked at her confused and Emma finally came clean.

"So because she was the Evil Queen when you arrived. You're going to ignore twenty-eight years of fate trying to keep you connected, thirty even really as even through all the fighting you two still dreamt of one another. Sounds to me like no matter what you always find one another."

"Yes, and don't ever say that to her, she'll die, she hates you and Dad it's too mushy for her." Emma answered. Mary Margaret gave a chuckle and Emma sighed again. "But when you say it like that it does all sound so silly, but I was hurt that she used that to play me in New York."

"I gotta be honest, I see the way she looks at you, and the way she hurts when you reject her, and I understand now why she never stays mad at you for long. So many times, I couldn't believe you weren't getting sassed more or a threat and it makes sense now. She wasn't faking it, you said it yourself everything you experienced she experienced too. She feels that love from her dream just as strongly, and yes you two are different here in the world that's normal."

"But the dream was different…" Emma murmured unsure what to say.

"Emma, A dream is a wish your heart makes, but that doesn't mean life should imitate the dream exactly. In the dream world I'm sure it was ideal and somewhat superficial. Here not so much. It may have started out as dream, but you two don't have to dream, you have something more."

"What do I even tell Hook?" Emma asked looking at Regina's ring.

"The truth Emma, stop running from her and she'll stop running from you. You might even clash less if that's possible."

"Maybe, but I killed Charlotte, far worse than you telling a secret, I don't think she's ever going to forgive me."

"People do crazy things when they're in love," Mary Margaret reminded her. "Give her a bit more time to grieve, and talk to her."

"No, I know what I have to do; I have to catch the author. He was supposed to give her, her happy ending right, and Charlotte is part of our happy ending. We will get her back; I'm going to catch Gold!" Emma stood up and hurried out gripping Regina's ring. Emma came back in though.

"Right after I pee, I've been holding it all day," Emma sighed before hurrying to the bathroom making Mary Margaret chuckle.

'Shut up,' Regina thought as she watched Mary Margaret set her tea down and chatter about this and that, she noted she avoided direct conversation about Emma or Charlotte, and she never said Emma and Hook like they were a couple. She also avoided talking about baby Neal too much, but if Regina liked to hear anything Neal was a favourite although painful. She just liked that his life was so simple.

"And Emma's determined to get the author so that he can save Charlotte." Regina perked up then.

"She what?" Regina asked.

"She's looking for them so she can get Charlotte back," Mary Margaret told her. "So please don't be too sad, we'll get the author and we'll figure out a way to get that ink."

"No, Emma will just sacrifice herself," Regina told her. "Go stop her. If she goes dark, she'll lose sight of Charlotte all together." Mary Margaret looked alarmed and hurried out. Regina got out of bed and showered before getting dressed. If Emma hadn't found Gold it was highly likely he was somewhere obvious like his shop. She disappeared and walked through the front door easily.

"Hey what are you doing here?" the Author asked scared. And she realized he had every reason to be, he was in part responsible for her daughter's death, lucky for him he could get her back. Gold stumbled out from the back room.

"No, you can't take him," Gold told her.

"Why, because your heart's finally turning black, I bet it was Charlotte that finally did you in, hmm….you said it would take away your ability to love though, you look like your dying," Regina told him. She frowned. "It can't be so easy that you would just die after all this time, not for the dark one."

"The Dark one no, but Rumplestiltskin, that's a different story, now go, you don't wanna rile me up and deal with the dark one when no one is home."

"Hmph, well I didn't come here for you, I came here for my happy ending," Regina told him.

"We can work together," Gold pleaded. "There's still the matter of the ink and I have the pen." He held it up. Regina grinned and walked forward.

"Yes, because you're in a position to stop me. She snatched the pen from him and he groaned. She was glad he was in pain.

"Please Regina…." He begged.

"You have no right to beg me after you took my baby's heart," Regina told him. "You made Emma kill her just so she'd go dark."

"That wasn't the plan, your child was more valuable to me alive, I warned her not to use her magic," Gold told Regina. "She still chose to do so; I only took it for insurances."

"Well your insurance just made it so you're going to die, I don't really care what happens to you now," Regina told him. "I'll figure out the ink on my own." She disappeared with the author just as Gold fell to the floor. She reappeared in her vault.

"Please don't kill me I had nothing to do with your baby, I had just gotten out of the book," He begged.

"I'm not going to kill you that was never my intention, I just want my happy ending," Regina told him.

"Sure get me the ink and I'll write whatever you want, but as it is your true love hasn't gone dark although that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, and make for an interesting twist. Instead of the Evil Queen becoming good it's the Saviour that goes bad. Happy in their evil ways," He trailed off. "And you would deserve it, out of all the villains I must say you've been screwed over the most. You were such a happy child, but I knew you didn't have a chance after writing your mother's story. But I also knew you would turn out to be such a well-rounded and complex character, so much more depth than everyone around you. You're a misunderstood genius of a character."

"Thank you I think, but my true loves are my children, and as you just stated I am without one." Regina paced. "Why exactly do you need Emma to go dark?"

"Emma's dark potential must recharge the ink. Once she went dark we would have only need a few drops of blood."

"Hmm…" Regina thought.

'Good thing I know just where to get some dark potential.' Regina thought.

"For the record, I was only with Mr Gold, because I feared for my life and he could protect me, but now it seems you are my protector."

"Lucky for you the danger is over now that I have you. No one else here has the balls to kill you." He nodded.

"Well that may be for the moment, but what about the ink?" He asked.

"Let me worry about that, just one question," Regina said she pulled out a ripped up piece of paper. In my original vision when I saw a future with Emma, I was me here the mayor, but when I read my story in the book, I'm the evil Queen here. Why?"

"Ah I see in another story I was working on that I never got to finish you were imprisoned magically so that you could escape thirty years later and meet your true love. How did you ever find the villain side that side shouldn't even exist? I was only supposed to really follow the heroes, but I often wondered what the story would look like from the villain's point of view."

"I don't know I just happened to open the book backwards, tell me do Emma and I have a future or is the vision something you made up to twist things."

"No, you and I both know that there are higher forces at work, while I said a dark savior would certainly be a twist, I think you're looking at the picture wrong. To say that maybe the Evil Queen deserves love, can be loved, that maybe it is possible for two colliding forces to fall in love. I am just the messenger."

"That you are and I am going to get you some ink." Regina disappeared and found herself on the main road she looked around and saw Lily sitting at a bus stop. She walked over.

"On your way out of town I see, well hate to tell you this, but you might be waiting a long time," Regina told her as she joined her. Lily glared at her as she sat with her arms and legs crossed.

"I missed the part where that was your problem?" Lily asked. "Shouldn't you be I don't know grieving?'' Regina just stared at her for a moment ignoring the jib. Soon she would have Charlotte back.

"I'll ignore that besides you can't possibly be leaving before you've talked to Mary Margaret and David, I mean they didn't even apologize to your face yet." Lily growled.

"My revenge, how can I get it with Emma in the way?" Lily asked her. "I deserve to make them pay, but instead I'll be heading back out as my mother isn't the scary dragon bitch I thought she would be."

'Yes, there's darkness in her, and it is all riled up in her veins.' Regina thought.

"You know, your mother is a scary dragon bitch, but if you were smart, you would know that sometimes fate throws better deals in front of us, better paths with less trauma and greater satisfaction. I will tell you a hard learned lesson that not only my mother, but your own mother imparted on me. Don't stand in your own way." Lily looked at her confused before Regina grabbed her hand, took out a knife, and sliced her palm. Lily cried out.

"Ah you bitch, what the fuck," Lily screamed. Regina grinned as she pulled out the ink and dripped Lily's blood inside of it. It lit up, grinning she disappeared leaving Lily alone. She appeared outside her vault and was walking up to it when she saw the door open, a fireball appeared in her hands.

"Think, think, think, Emma," Emma growled as she paced in front of Charlotte's resting place. Regina hadn't been able to put her in the ground so she had made room in her vault. Regina struggled for a second not to physically hurt Emma. She hadn't seen her in two days and she looked as miserable as she felt. Her fireball disappeared.

"What are you doing here?" Regina asked her. Emma shivered, it was like ice in Regina's voice and she deserved every bit of that ice.

"Thinking, I've looked everywhere, and now Gold's apparently ill, Belle found him on the ground, and the author's completely in the wind. I wanted to find the author so bad for you, to give you Charlotte back," Emma sobbed. "And I am failing, the one person whose happy ending I need to repair I can't seem too." Regina just stood there watching her for a long moment

"Are you hurting because we lost a daughter or are you only hurting because you are responsible?" Regina asked her. Emma who was looking down and wishing Regina would just hug her and forgive her and help her calm that sea of despair within herself realized what Regina was asking. She wanted to know if she loved Charlotte or was this about easing her conscious.

"I am hurting first and foremost because we lost a daughter," Emma told her clearly as she looked Regina in the eye for the first time. "When she came to me that last time I felt her, I felt that feeling of being clung too. She wanted me to stay. And she loved you, she loved you so much." Regina let a few tears fall.

"Of course she loved me, she loved you too you idiot even at your shittiest," Regina told her.

"I was so stupid and hot headed if I had just stayed in the hospital until you came back you would have stopped me when I said I wanted to go or at least held me back from using magic. I thought he was bluffing when he took her heart, I did honest. He knew what Charlotte means to us. And I knew that Charlotte was special he could use her heart to corrupt her or hurt her later. I couldn't let him leave with her heart even if he left with the author."

"Well he didn't," Regina replied. "And you were stupid and hot-headed I told you so many times that day to calm down."

"I know," Emma cried. "And even after we get Charlotte back I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will go find the author; I'll go to Gold's and see if he left any clues where he might hide here." Regina sniffed.

"Don't bother I already did all the work," Regina told her as she opened her vault. "Let's go." Emma looked at her confused and followed her down. The Author turned towards them worried.

"You said you wouldn't kill me," He cried.

"I didn't come to kill you," Regina told him. "I came for my happy ending." She held up the ink bottle and he gasped.

"You did it, but how, the saviour…" He pointed to Emma. Emma also looked confused.

"How did you get it?" Emma asked.

"You needed your dark potential, your parents put it all in Lily, wasn't hard to piss her off at all."

"Oh…oh you're probably why I got that text about a dragon, but I just couldn't deal with it, they said they had Maleficent so I just let it go," Emma replied as she was staring off with her mouth forming an oh. "Yeah that's probably it."

"Well that was smart, the dark one hadn't even thought of that," The author murmured as he quickly pulled out a fresh storybook. "Now please let me write you your happy ending." Regina gave him the ink and his pen.

"Write Charlotte back alive now," Emma told him.

"Unfortunately magic cannot bring back the dead, and I was never the loop hall," the Author told them. Regina and Emma looked distraught.

"You lied, you said you could give me my happy ending," Regina growled as she just restrained herself from punching the author.

"I can, but I must write from this day forward on, I can make you forget Charlotte, I can take away that pain and allow you two to be together with your son, give you hope to try again. But Charlotte is lost to us."

"Then it wouldn't be real what we have, our highs and lows are what make our relationship."

"But don't you two want what you've always dreamed of, a messy uncomplicated happy life," He pointed out. They were both silent.

"No!" Regina answered. She took a deep breath to control the swirl of emotions around her. "I never wanted exactly what I dreamt, I wanted the possibility of it. In our dreams in that vision we didn't fight, but we didn't really love either, it was all so superficial and perfect all the time and… and it was ruined the moment we had a bad fight in real life. Life is not as picture perfect as that dream, people get hurt, and you have to work hard to fix it. I don't want a mindless wife with no thought of her own, who thinks everything I do is the damn sun shining out of my ass. Real bliss is not one dimensional, it is multidimensional, and such a life would only serve to force us apart when we finally got wind of it. I don't want to wake up one day and know I didn't know Emma anymore."

"You really feel that way, that you want me in all my mess even with Charlotte?" Emma asked. Regina turned to look at her.

"Yes, I love you and all your mess you idiot, and even with Charlotte for some reason I still love you. But I'm not standing in my own way anymore. It was never a lie the way I felt about you, I've always loved you." Emma let her tears fall.

"I'm sorry Regi, I've always loved you too, and it scared me, scared me so badly. When I remembered everything I thought you would hurt me because that's what always happens I lose that kind of love. And with Henry not knowing, I thought it wasn't genuine because I know you love that kid more than me. But I was wrong, and I don't wanna stand in my own way anymore either." They kissed and power exploded from them. Regina felt something break off within herself and within Emma and take root inside of her.

"It's Charlotte," Emma said in surprise. "She's still with us."

"No, not Charlotte anymore, she's different somehow, she saved herself in our magic, she was still connected to us. But she's still not really here yet."

"Oh true love's kiss, I've never witnessed it in person," the author commented as he clapped. He stopped abruptly as they turned to look at him. "As great as that is I'm afraid I have a date with the dark one if you are no longer invested in me." He finished writing and disappeared just as they tried to grab him.

"Fuck we gotta go, call the others now," Regina ordered. Emma nodded and took out her phone as they ran out of the vault heading for Mr. Gold's pawn shop.

"Why are we running?" Regina asked Emma as Robin Hood met up with them on the main street. Emma glanced at Regina like she was crazy.

"Um…what…um…" Emma started not knowing what to say.

"No I mean why, haven't I just poofed us there?" Regina said just as they rounded the corner, before Emma could answer a wave of blue magic shot out from Gold's shop.

"Fuck," They all said before they disappeared.

Author's Note: Rough Chapter I know. So I do have more chapters written, but I wanted to break it up a bit. I'm working on part 2 where Emma and Regina work on their relationship. But first a short story of three chapters containing what happens in Heroes Vs. Villains. Part 2 is still a work in progress. And yes Emma is finally going to stop using Hook as a shield to stand in her own way.