"Captain…"

Yondu groaned, but didn't open his eyes. "Are we about to fly into a black hole?"

"Uh, no?"

"That's funny, because I'm pretty sure I told the lot of you that that was the only reason I was to be disturbed," Yondu growled. He turned over and finally opened his eyes and was surprised to see Kraglin.

Maybe I oughta find someone else to watch after the Terran brat if the kid's this suicidal, he mused as he watched him squirm under his gaze.

"I-I- Yes sir, but Nax told me to come get you," Kraglin stuttered. "Thinks you're the only one that'll get him to stop."

"Get who to stop?"

"Well, couple of the boys stole that stupid music-man thing of the runt's and the kid kicked up a fuss-"

Yondu groaned again. "Just tell Nax to make them give it back and remind them that Quill's one of us now an' we don't steal from one another."

"That's not the problem, sir. Quill got it back on his own."

"He did?" Yondu knew the kid was a fighter - had the teeth marks to prove it - but that hardly meant he expected the kid to come out of a fight the victor. The ravager captain rolled back over. "Good for him. Why you botherin' me again?"

"Quill… did something to them. I don't know what he did, exactly - wasn't there - but it shocked them enough that they dropped the thing so the kid wisely grabbed it and ran. And now the boys are out for blood. Kid managed to get up into the vents, but the boys have got him cornered. Nax is just barely keeping them back. He tried to get the kid out, but Quill just did it to him too. So now Nax says if you don't get the kid out and make him fix them all, he's just gonna let the boys have at it."

Yondu briefly wondered what that said about his crew if even his second in command couldn't handle some little Terran brat.

Oughta just launch the whole lot of them into a star and start from scratch.

"What'd the boy do to them to get 'em all riled up?"

There was silence.

Yondu was about ready to yell when a small snicker floated to him from behind his back.

Slowly, the captain turned to see the cabin boy fighting off laughter. A sharp whistle sent the chuckles down real quick.

"You think this is a game?" Yondu growled as Kraglin backed away from his arrow, hands in the air.

"N-no, sir. Just… I don't know how to… You gotta see it for yourself, sir. It's…" Kraglin swallowed as his back hit the wall.

He glared at the boy for a short time before sighing. He quickly rolled to his feet, snatched up his jacket and belt, and slipped them on. He grabbed his arrow out of the air before shoving the boy towards the door. "Lead, now, before I change my mind."

"Yessir!"

Yeah, a star's sounding really good right about now.

In the end, it was pretty easy to find the kid and his mini mob. All you had to do was follow the laughter. When the two finally reached the crowd, it was to find them not doing a mix of goading on the adult ravagers and jeering at the baby one - as was typical for spectators of a Peter-Problem - but instead laughing their heads off at whatever was happening at the crowds center.

A good helping of the laughter definitely sounded far too young for the average ravager, though that wasn't completely uncommon in this kind of situation. Usually the boy was the one who started those fights though.

As Yondu approached, the crowd easily parted, some of them just stepping off to the sides and others fleeing back to the jobs they were supposed to be doing before the captain's ire fell on them. At the center, a half dozen unamused ravagers were being held back by a dozen highly amused ones while next to them Yondu's first mate glared up at a section of vents that was framed on either side by open holes where grating should be.

"Get out here boy, or I swear I'll enjoy, the pain you'll go through, when I'm done with you! So get out of the vent, or to the galley you'll be sent!" Nax yelled, his voice carrying a rhythm that sounded out of place coming from the gruff Aakon.

Kraglin snickered from just behind Yondu and the captain raised an eyebrow. "Why the hell you talking like that?"

The first mate spun around. "Captain there you are! This time he's gone too far! Tell him to make it stop, or I swear his head will drop!"

"Stop what? From what I see all the kid's doing is laughing in the vents."

"It's a curse, captain, that our mouths are trapped in," one of the restrained ravagers spat. "And if he doesn't set us free, we will split him into three!"

The other five repeated the last sentence with a matching cadence that completely undermined the vicious words.

Yondu groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

A star's too good for these idiots.

"BOY!"

There was a moment of silence then Quill poked his head just far enough out of the vent opening near Yondu for the boy to see him.

"Hi Yondu."

"What the hell's going on here?" Nax opened his mouth, but Yondu held his hand up to stop him. "You shut up. I can't stand your voice right now."

Quill snickered and slipped out of the vent enough to point at the restrained ravagers. "They stole my walkman! So I shot them with the shocker gun that Kraglin gave me."

Kraglin flinched when Yondu turned to him. "He was only supposed to use it on the orloni in the vents! I told you that was only for the orloni!"

The boy shrunk back into the vent, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "Ugly like orloni."

"Boy, what happened next?"

"I dunno. They dropped my walkman so I grabbed it and ran to hide. When they found me they were talking all funny."

"He did it, the halfwit!"

The boy frowned and cocked his head to the side. "Me? How could I make you talk funny?"

"It was a spell, as you know well!"

"Spell?" the boy snorted. "Only babies believe in magic!"

"And what about me?" Nax growled. "What else could that be?"

Quill shrugged. "Maybe you hit your head when you fell out of the vent after I kicked you away?"

"You li-"

"Enough!" Yondu shouted. "So let me get this straight, I got woken up because the lot of you got your brains fried or pounded so now you're talking like idiots?" Nax looked furious, but Yondu couldn't care less. "Do any of you got any proof that the kid's responsible aside from said frying and pounding? Huh? Did any of you see any hand waving, spell saying, flashes of light, or anything else to say the boy did something?"

One of the ravagers opened his mouth.

"It's a yes or no question. No talking stupid rhymes necessary."

The six begrudgingly shook their heads.

"Nax?"

His first mate ground his teeth, but shook his head.

"Anyone else?"

Blessed silence.

"Then I don't wanna hear another word about this. It wasn't no asgardian sorcerer we picked up. It's a baby Terran that wouldn't know real magic if it struck him on the ass. He's barely got the brains to do his chores, let alone play around with your heads."

An offended noise came from the vents, but Yondu ignored it.

"Now get lost before I decide I wanna let off some frustration with target practice!"

The crowd quickly fled, leaving just Yondu, Nax, Kraglin, and Quill.

"Alright Quill, you gonna get out here or you planning to clean all the vents from top to bottom."

"I just cleaned them all!" the kid huffed, but his head was quickly replaced by his feet as he backed out of the vent before dropping down with a little "Oomph!"

Yondu grabbed him by the ear before he could do anything stupid and started towing him to the Captain's Quarters.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Let go!"

In the end, it took the seven a week before they could talk normal, and a week more before they were all dead as a result of a poorly planned mutiny.

Yondu didn't put much thought into the whole thing. He didn't know what had screwed up their heads, but he was sure it wasn't the kid.