IMPORTANT: THIS is now where the story OFFICIALLY begins!

Once again, as I did on that post, I apologize for all the confusion.

Also, Chapter 1 has been renamed 'Overture'. The previous title, 'An Unexpected Left', is now the title of Chapter 2.

So...here we begin 'Veering Left' with Mr. Ryoji Kaji...and a song that speaks to his lonely, wounded soul.

"'Too late for us now?'

I sat alone, and I spoke out loud

On this darkened afternoon

The windows to my room

A solemn shutter on the world

Where I used to laugh and dream

For the first time in so long

I make my way down to the street

And watch the people as they pass

Outside, I breathe the air

And all around fall shadows of despair

I wonder, 'Is there hope for us?

A place where we can all be free?'

I wonder, 'Is there life inside a soul that dies?'

I wonder, 'Is there hope for us to lift me up?'

I don't know when I'll see the sun again

I'd like to feel alive just one more time..."

[MEDIA=youtube]H8sCh_qcicw[/MEDIA]

-"Hope For Us?" by Shadow Gallery

Chapter 1-Overture

•5:41 AM, Wednesday, October 14, 2015

My day starts normally enough...

Upon first awakening, I use the necessary, shower, get dressed, and after being too tired to do so last night, check my voicemail messages. And as I play the new message from yesterday morning, I am greeted by the sound of screaming.

"AAAAHHHH! Help me Kaji! Don't touch me, you pervert! AAAAHHHHHHHH!"

In sharp contrast to the 'frantic' voice of the girl in the last message, the 'female' voice of the answering machine is cool and deadpan as it states, "End of messages. You have no new messages."

I grind my palm into my face.

"That girl is going to put me in an earlier grave than my job," I sigh to myself.

At one time, I might have been genuinely frightened and run to her aid...but Asuka's done this before...with disturbing frequency. Luckily, part of my job is being able to determine deceit from truth when dealing with liars far more experienced than Asuka will ever be.

So, it's easy for me to know when she's merely trying to get my attention, though I really do wish that she'd stop crying 'wolf'.

If I were wrong that 'one time' she actually needed me, I'd never forgive myself. And when one considers how many things I already will never forgive myself for...

No...mustn't think like that right now...

Again, I sigh as I delete the message and make my way down to the street to find something for breakfast.

"I may need to sit down and have a talk with Asuka next time I see her."

Hopefully, she'll listen and I won't have to be too harsh. After all, despite the way she often acts towards other people, she really is a good kid at heart.

But right now, I have something bigger and much more troubling on my mind. My quest for the truth behind NERV, and of lesser importance, my assignment for the Japanese government, is on the verge of a breakthrough, and I am now certain that NERV's greatest secret lies within the deepest level of the base...known as Terminal Dogma.

If the information I have obtained is correct, Terminal Dogma is a gargantuan, hollow chamber, and that makes me wonder...what could they be keeping in a space large enough to accommodate an Evangelion, or multiple Evangelions, or...an Angel? Possibly even...multiple Angels? I do not know for certain.

However, it was I who delivered to NERV, or more specifically to NERV's Commander, Gendo Ikari, the remnants of the First Angel; Adam.

Adam...the creature responsible for the Second Impact, the death of half the planet, and subsequently, the creation of the Evangelions.

Some time ago, I learned that Adam is one of the keys for the Human Instrumentality project. Exactly what the project involves, however, is still a mystery.

Naturally, I am quite eager to uncover this 'project's' goal. Eager enough that I took a third job with SEELE to find out. I want to know the truth about all of this; the Second Impact, the Angels, the Evangelions, NERV, SEELE, the Human Instrumentality Project...

Why did the Second Impact happen? I found out when I first offered my services to NERV that it was Adam who caused it.

Adam...a giant, seemingly made of light, destroyed the continent of Antarctica and had some kind of aura that instantly extinguished almost every life form that made contact with it, right down to microbial life...with one miraculous exception...

And yet, both NERV and SEELE would willingly keep such a creature in close proximity to their organizations?

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer..." I mutter to myself, drawing the curious attention of the person standing in front of me in line at the pastry shop.

Igorning him, though covertly eyeing him once he's turned his back, I return to my ruminations.

'When I first found Adam in NERV-Berlin, it appeared to be a tiny, embryonic creature. Hard to believe such a creature could be possible of such deadly power.'

Once I had freed it, however...

It began to regenerate rapidly, before I imprisoned it a solid block of bakelite. I'll never forget the thrill of terror I felt when the creature opened its eyes as it was growing...

And that moment...when the eye facing me swiveled frantically around the room, only to fix itself...staring unblinkingly...upon me...

'What is this? Who are you?!'

Those had been the words I had thought to myself in that horrible moment..

And yet...did I...

'Was it...MY inner voice that spoke to my mind in that vault?'

The words seemed to erupt into my thoughts almost...automatically. Almost...too quickly for my own brain to have formed the question consciously...

'And something about that particular thought felt...unfamiliar. As if...as if...'

But, forgetting about that unsettling moment, and back to more important and urgent questions...

'I wonder...is it possible, that once I delivered it here, it was allowed to regenerate further until it had regained it's original size, but was sealed in a prison tailor-made for it from the start? Or was what I took from SEELE only a small part of the whole?'

Has NERV been keeping another part of Adam locked away in their base this whole time? If their goal is to destroy the Angels, and protect the world, why not simply exterminate it? I do know that Adam's flesh was cloned to create the flesh of the Evangelions...but...do they need the living creature for that? I strongly suspect they do not.

'This Human Instrumentality Project is apparently why the creature is still alive, but...what IS this project? How does it involve Adam? My understanding is that the Angels are Adam's progeny, and are attacking us in an attempt to contact him.'

I make my purchase, and thank the female clerk, giving her a winning smile...at which she blushes.

'Cute girl', I think to myself. 'No Katsuragi though.'

And for a moment, I allow my mind to shift to more pleasant thoughts...rose-colored memories of eight years past...

Before shaking my head to clear it.

'After all...no rest for the wicked...or me...until the reaper comes knocking...'

The Angels...just what are these bizarre and deadly creatures?

They seemingly appear out of nowhere, and except for the one code-named Gaghiel, have always targeted Tokyo 3.

Once I discovered the existence of Terminal Dogma, I began to understand at least one reason why they would attack Tokyo 3...and only Tokyo 3.

But why did the ones code-named Sachiel, Shamshel, and Ramiel attack before I brought Adam...unless part of Adam had already been there the whole time.

Gaghiel's attack seemingly confirmed what I had been told about the Angels' motive, though it raised the aforementioned question of why Tokyo 3...and not Berlin, where Adam was being kept...was the target of the Angels.

It's my understanding that if an Angel makes contact with Adam...then all the remaining life on Earth will be destroyed.

So why not destroy it?

I almost wish I had betrayed NERV as well, and destroyed Adam myself. I nearly did too, but the rate it was regenerating at made it necessary to contain it.

Though, and it disgusts me to admit it, I was also...curious.

And all because I was curious, the kids who pilot the Evangelions will continue to have to fight...when I could have ended it for them.

Well maybe...

Maybe I couldn't have destroyed it...maybe I could have. But if I had, the question of why NERV wanted it...and why SEELE was already keeping it would never be answered. I'd eventually be executed by one betrayed party or the other...never knowing the true reason for the Second Impact.

I sigh bitterly. "I suppose that in a way, by letting Adam live, I've sold my own soul in this search for the truth...if I even had a soul to sell after-..."

Sitting down on the train already beginning to fill up with glum and irritable early morning commuters, I find myself thinking about the Eva Pilots...

'I've sold my soul...but I don't care about living any longer than it takes to get some more answers...'

No, it's the Pilots...Katsuragi...they're the ones who are going to be footing the bill for my ongoing quest.

I suppose at least Asuka would have forgiven me. Hell, she'd have probably hated my guts if I made the war that she'd been training her whole life to fight end before she could participate...

'Though considering her current feelings towards me...maybe that would have been better...'

Then...there's the other two; Shinji and Rei.

Rei at least seems like a natural born soldier...moreso than Asuka, due to her unquestioning and rigid obedience...something that I find horribly unnerving for a girl no older than fourteen. At least Asuka still acts like a child...no matter how much she would try to say otherwise.

But then there's Shinji...

'Why?' I think to myself, 'why would anyone in their right mind pick him to be a soldier?'

He's certainly got a strange aptitude for it...but in attitude and mentality, he's anything but a soldier...

'If this war doesn't end up killing him someday...it'll probably do something worse...'

I already worry about what it will do...and perhaps IS already doing...to Asuka, though...at least she's doing this with wholehearted enthusiasm.

'Somehow, I don't find that to be much more comforting though...'

I can only hope Katsuragi might be someone who can guide all of them through this...

Katsuragi...

'I could have spared her the curse of her own obsession. I could have avenged Shiro Katsuragi...and three billion more besides...'

I don't know that she'd have thanked me for taking her vengeance from her...but...maybe I could have saved her soul from the damnation that surely awaits mine.

Obsession...a devil if ever there was one...

But perhaps...with others under her care to protect, her priorities will change...perhaps they can help to keep her soul intact...

I snort wryly at that last thought. 'Such optimism from one already condemned...and no longer bearing the burdens of those willing to go on living.'

The extent to which I can sicken myself sometimes still surprises me.

'Well, since the Pilots and Katsuragi are going to be stuck with this mess...I might as well use this time I spend rebuking myself for something more constructive...like trying to wrap my brain around the matter at hand. So...returning to the subject of Adam...'

It's not surprising that Adam's awakening was covered up, but between Gendo Ikari's stroke of 'luck' in having departed Antarctica on September 12, 2000, the day before Second Impact, and now the fact that first SEELE and now NERV are holding Adam within their facilities...and thus risking a likely Third Impact...one has to wonder...

'Did they know?'

Were they...expecting the events of the Second Impact? And if so, did they know how to avert it, or...was that never even part of their plan?

'Could those who claim to be saving the world...be the same monsters that damned it?'

The train reaches my stop and I exit, whistling 'cheerfully' as I continue to ponder...

It seems unfathomable, that humans would be callous enough to willingly orchestrate the death of half or their own kind for...any reason.

'But in the wake of Second Impact, I saw...'

I saw humanity at it's absolute ugliest. The catastrophe brought out the best in some, but...when it brought out the worst in others...

I feel myself shiver slightly as...memories...claw faintly at the inside of my skull...scratching at the veil severing them from my waking mind with a sort of...perverse playfulness...

'Sometimes...it's so hard to remember...that there were saints among the monsters around me.'

Once things had begun to return to some degree of normalcy, the time came to dig for answers.

'I wasn't alone of course. After Second Impact, there were more conspiracy theories than there were pre-Impact religions...and conspiracy theorists weren't considered all that unusual anymore.'

Eventually, I graduated to espionage. And when my digging became overly troublesome, I was 'offered' an official career in the business. It wasn't necessarily by choice...nevertheless, I decided to jump at the chance. But knowing that I could only learn everything I wanted to know by playing for and against all the different players in this game, I ended up becoming a triple agent.

Naturally, I've long since accepted that I will not leave this 'triple career' alive, and that said career will also likely be a short one.

By stealing Adam alone, I have all but signed my inevitable death warrant. They'll find out eventually, and SEELE has killed better men than me for far less.

Still...I've devoted my existence to uncovering the truth...and there's no going back now.

But maybe, if I can find the truth, even if it costs my life and my soul...maybe then my life will have some actual meaning.

'Maybe I'll have earned the right to have survived the living hell that followed that events of that September day when all is said and done.'

After all, one of the monsters I knew in the wake of Second Impact...the one I know best of all...was me.

Just ask my brother, and all our friends.

Not that you could...I saw to that.

I sigh, "And yet, I'm taking time out of all this important business to go to a wedding reception this afternoon."

'Well, everyone needs a day off sometimes, I guess. Even the not-quite-yet-dead.'

At least I'll be able to spend some time with Ritsuko and Katsuragi today. "Might be just like old times," I laugh with just a hint of bitterness.