A/N: This didn't fit with Part II, so it's going here as omake. ^^ (It correlates to the previous chapter.) I'll update the Part II fic soon.

Announcement: two days from now, August begins, and with it, Nonbinary Month. Throughout the month, I'll be posting fics with nonbinary and trans characters. Feel free to join in or just check it out: all fics will have Nonbinary Month in the title.

Chapter 15 (Omake): Pranks

"You know," Freed said, readjusting against Laxus's shoulder, "Gray told me he and Natsu retaliated against you."

"Hm?" Laxus looked up from the book he was reading.

Freed grinned. "See, now you're distracted."

"It's good stuff; very consuming," Laxus protested, though he closed the book, keeping a finger between the pages. He'd teased Freed about getting lost in books many times.

They were seated together in Laxus's flat, both reading. Since Freed's healing arms made him dependent on others, they had temporarily moved Freed in, and this meant more books everywhere, a fact Laxus was clearly pleased with.

Today reading accompanied cuddling, Freed leaning into Laxus's embrace with the Dragon Slayer's arm around his waist. This way Laxus could swat him every time he scratched errantly at his bandages. It had been two weeks and still the cuts seeped blood, though they grew shallower by the day. Porlyusica said some of the woman's magic had gotten into the wounds, slowing his healing—and it would've taken a while anyway because Freed really had come close to losing both arms. Not to mention his life. Laxus didn't talk about that part, and Freed took the hint and didn't bring it up either.

"Remember when you outed Gray and Natsu's relationship?" Freed asked.

"That was not on purpose."

"I know, I know. But Gray told me he and Natsu got back at you by letting the whole guild know about your motion sickness."

"Yes," Laxus groaned. "Assholes. Dragneel did it all innocently. Someone brought up his and he said, 'It's normal: even Laxus gets that way.' Suddenly everyone was looking at me. I couldn't exactly lie to the whole fucking guild. He and Gray gave me the most victorious fucking smiles."

Freed chuckled.

"Despite how furious he was to be outed, Natsu did the same thing to our relationship," Freed said. "So I think it'd be worth pranking him in return. Turnabout is fair play."

Putting his book down fully, Laxus turned to grin at him.

"I take it you have a plan?"

"Of course. It has to do with Dragon Slayer appetites."

"I'm listening," Laxus said eagerly. "Although you are not allowed to do anything strenuous in this plan. You're the thinker. I'll put it into action."

Freed scowled. Laxus gave him The Look.

"Fine, I promise," Freed said. "But just for that, I'm not telling you this plan unless you make us lunch. Since I'm such a helpless invalid."

Laxus laughed and stretched. "Sure. Any requests?"

"Three queens," Freed said victoriously, laying down his cards. "Goddess, you all had bad hands."

Cana stuck her tongue out and turned to Laxus.

"He always fucking wins. We need to team up."

"Is there a way to team up in poker?" Bickslow asked.

"Three to one? Absolutely. We can make a way. I'll beat you, Justine, even if I have to cheat." Cana gave Freed an evil grin.

"Bring it on," he laughed. "I swear to you, this is just luck."

Beside him, Laxus snorted and began shuffling cards.

Opening his mouth, Freed had just started to protest when Laxus said in a low voice, "I smell him. Bar."

Freed snatched up a spoon and used it as a mirror to look over his shoulder. Sure enough, Natsu Dragneel had just marched up and was ordering food from Mira.

"Oo," Bickslow said, eyes alight. "Does this have to do with the fire you've been carrying around?"

Laxus made a hushing gesture.

"We'll explain later," he muttered. "Ears."

"Fine." Bickslow hunkered down to watch the bar over Laxus's shoulder.

Cana stared back and forth between them all.

"What? What have you been doing?"

"A prank," Freed cut in. "You'll see."

"Who all is in on it?" Cana asked, eyes scanning the bar to guess whom Freed had been peeking at.

"Us two and Mira. We needed her cooperation."

The game forgotten, Laxus put down the cards and the four of them contented themselves with picking at their food. (Freed was disappointed he couldn't have alcohol: Laxus gave him a disapproving look if he broke Porlyusica's strictures.)

"There," he said, still using a spoon as a mirror. "She just gave him his dinner."

There was no attempt at subtlety now (Natsu noticed nothing when food appeared before him): they turned bodily in their seats and watched him take the fire and inhale…

Natsu coughed, spewing flames and smoke.

"Gods! Mira! What's wrong with the fire?"

"What do you mean?"

"I can't…" Natsu tried to take another bite, to the same results. "Where did you get this?"

Mira shrugged in confused innocence. "It's what was burning in the stove."

"It's mine."

"Oh." Mira's eyes widened. "Maybe you're the one who lit the stove last?"

"I don't go in the kitchen anymore," Natsu said, in a surprisingly penitent voice. "Ever since the explosion, I've been good."

"My budget for dishes thanks you," Mira said in exasperation.

Glancing at each other in surprise, the watchers at the table all suppressed laughter behind their hands, Freed most of all.

"She does have a crockery budget," he whispered between laughs. "She just said they kept breaking. I didn't realize…"

He broke into laughter again.

"So where'd it come from?" Natsu had gone back to a raised voice and sizzling frustration.

"I don't know, Natsu. I'm sorry," Mira told him.

"Whatever. Doesn't matter."

Natsu walked over to a torch and inhaled.

"Fuck!" he shouted between coughs, drawing the attention of Happy, who fluttered over. "This one too! I didn't light this!"

Natsu walked to the next torch, and the next, sniffing at candles, at the flames in the fireplace. There was a lot of fire around: it was a brisk evening. It took him a while, but he made a circuit of the whole room, every time ending in coughs and hacking.

Just as he finished, his boyfriend entered the guild.

"Gray!" Natsu shouted, running over and grabbing his shirt. Gray took a startled step back. "Something's happened. I can't eat fire!"

"What?"

"I don't know what it is, but I've tried every flame in the hall and I can't eat any of them. I know I didn't light these. And I'm starving," he added. And it was true—his stomach could be heard even by the watchers at the table.

"Calm down," Gray said, disengaging Natsu's fists from his shirt, which he promptly lost. "You ate fire just this morning. Did you do anything weird since then?"

"No."

"Eat anything funny?"

"No."

"Use an excessive amount of magic? Black out and light everything on fire while you were unconscious? Piss anyone off?"

"Gray, stop blaming the victim!"

"We're all going to be victims if you don't control your heat."

"Sorry." Natsu simmered down a bit, the red glow disappearing from his hair. "I've never…not eaten fire."

"As a baby," Gray pointed out.

"I can't remember that far back."

Gray rolled his eyes and Natsu stuck his tongue out.

Freed smiled watching this, at both the success of the prank and the affectionate familiarity of their interactions.

"So where'd you get it?" Cana asked in a whisper.

"Get what?" Freed asked.

"His fire, obviously."

"Natsu leaves bits of his fire everywhere," Laxus rumbled. "Leaves shit smoldering all the time. It was easy to capture some and nurse the flame bigger."

"And eventually light everything in the entire hall with it?"

"Exactly," Laxus said. "It's all from the same source: his magic. Ergo..."

Cana nodded, grinning.

"So when will you let up?"

"In a little while," Freed said. He pulled a box of matches out of his pocket and tossed them on the table. "When he's freaked out for a bit longer."

"Freed, you are one son of a bitch," Cana said. "Remind me never to prank you."

"Why are you praising him?" Laxus asked, affronted.

"Because you are neither this clever, this dastardly, nor this mean," Cana said. "I know this is all Freed's handiwork."

"I'm not sure whether to take offense at that or not," Freed said.

"Take offense all you like. Until your arms heal, I can say shit to you without repercussions."

Freed raised an eyebrow. "I can still use my magic, you know."

"I still love you," Cana said sweetly.

"You're fucking incorrigible," Freed said, rolling his eyes. Cana laughed.

Laxus leaned over and whispered in Freed's ear, "I love you, too."

Freed tried not to look pleased, but it was hard not to bounce in his seat. It still thrilled him to hear those words.

True to his word as always, Freed let Natsu freak out a while more.

"I'm starving," Natsu said, lying on the floor with his hands on his stomach. "I'm going to die."

"You can eat real food like a normal human," Lucy retorted, giving him no sympathy.

"It's not the saaaaame."

"What about fish?" Happy suggested, to nobody's surprise.

"I need…I need fire," Natsu wheezed dramatically. "My magic doesn't feel the same if I don't eat. I'm weaker. I'll stop being able to do anything. I'm feeling tired—don't look at me like that, Lucy! This is for real! I don't think I'll be able to get up."

Lucy sighed and returned to her book, but Gray, who was sitting on a bench beside his downed boyfriend, had begun to look worried.

"Are you actually weaker?" he asked.

Natsu glanced around to see if others were listening (somehow missing the group at the table who were all watching him). "A little."

Gray inhaled and exhaled, deeply, several times.

He was trying not to panic, Freed realized.

The plan had been to make Natsu freak out, not necessarily his boyfriend. With their goal accomplished, Freed grabbed the box of matches and started to rise.

Then he stopped himself, remembering his promise, and handed them to Laxus.

"It's time, don't you think?"

Laxus took the matches and headed toward the bar.

"Mira," he called nonchalantly, loud enough to be heard by the knot of people now immersed in Natsu's problems. "Try these."

Natsu's surprised shout when he was able to eat the fire was worth it.

"He has no clue it was you," Ever said. She'd joined them at the table earlier and watched the antics play out. "Doesn't that defeat the point?"

"We're going to drop a very clear hint later," Laxus said. "When he's not starving. I don't want him to 'accidentally' destroy the hall."

"You're so conscientious," Cana chuckled. "Well, fine. But I want to see when he realizes. His face will be priceless."

Freed rolled his eyes. "Yes, you'll get to see his reaction."

Cheering, she and Bickslow headed to the bar to get drinks.

They waited a half hour as Natsu devoured a bonfire's worth of flames, and then Laxus strode over to Mira again.

"Is he doing it?" Cana asked, watching Freed's eyes follow every step.

"Yes. Shh."

"Got anything to deal with a fucking splinter?" Laxus asked Mira.

Mira put on a sympathetic face. "From handling the torches?"

"Yup," Laxus said as she looked around behind the bar. "Fire is the fucking worst."

In his seat further down the bar, Natsu shot upright and looked over in suspicion. Then his eyes widened comically as he got it and his mouth fell open, dropping some half-chewed food.

Cana fell over herself trying to suppress her laughter. Bickslow and Ever were having a whispered conversation between chuckles—something about a wager. Freed smiled with the self-satisfied feeling of a job well done.

Instead of saying anything, Natsu turned to Gray and murmured something. Cottoning on much more quickly, Gray glared at Laxus and stood up bristling.

Laxus took that moment to let some sparks fly from his fingers.

"All better. Thanks, Mira. I can punch people again."

Gray seemed to reconsider. His eyes whipped around the hall and when he saw Freed, he marched over.

"What the hell?" Gray demanded. "You did this?"

"What?" Freed asked, meeting his gaze with a look of challenge.

"That's so underhanded. You…starved him! And made him freak out! Do you have any idea what Natsu's like when he's hungry? He could've brought the guildhall down on your head on accident. And," Gray looked down at Freed's arms, "that wouldn't go very well for you right now. Don't you have any sense of self-preservation?"

"Who are you threatening?" Laxus growled behind him.

Gray whirled. "I'm not threatening anyone. Just stating fucking facts—ones which would serve him right. You too, asshole."

Laxus raised his eyebrows. People long ago stopped being scared of him, but they didn't usually cuss him out.

"Serve us right for what?" Laxus asked.

"You know why," Gray said. Behind him at the table, Bickslow was unable to suppress a snort, and Gray turned on him and glared. "Shut it. It was a dastardly thing to do. And I know full well only Freed would think up something like that."

"Why do I have a reputation for cruelty?" Freed protested.

Gray gave him a withering look. "It has nothing to do with cruelty. Only you have the despicably serpentine brain capable of ideas like this."

"He has a point, Captain," Ever said.

Freed pouted at her. "Traitor."

"I've said what I wanted to say." Gray turned back to the bar where Natsu was eating yet another helping of fire. "If you ever make him hungry again—"

"—you'll, oh wait, let me guess…tell everyone Laxus gets motion-sick?" Freed asked.

"Or your boyfriend will start telling the whole guild about what he smells?" Laxus added, a slight sneer betraying his anger.

"You were the one who first talked about smells," Gray spat back.

"I didn't know!"

"Shit, people." Natsu walked up and slung an arm around Gray's shoulder, nearly toppling him. "You're all so sensitive and have so many secrets."

"What has you in a good mood?" Gray asked grumpily. The rest of the table was eying him in surprise.

"You're rather less upset than I expected," Cana interjected.

"Well, it was fair," Natsu said, grinning at Freed and Laxus. Turning back to Gray, he replied, "Why shouldn't I be in a good mood, icicle? I'm nice and full."

"I guess you are an idiot after all."

"Oi!" Natsu laughed.

Grinning suddenly, Gray punched while Natsu retaliated with fire. As the two exploded into brawl, Laxus sighed and put himself between them and Freed, who raised an eyebrow. Though Laxus said nothing, Freed knew what he was trying to do.

Laxus wasn't the only one with the thought, either.

"C'mon, Captain," Bickslow said, having his babies pick up their mugs and motioning toward a table in the corner.

"What?" Freed asked, even though he knew what.

"No fight for you. Come on," Ever said, pulling on his hand.

"I don't need a bunch of parents looking out for me," Freed grumbled, though he followed.

"You can't open the guild doors without wincing," Ever said. "Your arms bleed when you stupidly take the bandages off. How do you not see your limitations? You're acting spoiled."

Cana snickered.

"I'm not limited," Freed retorted, a bit of his anger finally breaking. "I still have this."

Swiping his hand across the space, runes sparkled just as a chair flew their way. When Laxus reached out to grab it, the chair struck an invisible wall and stopped.

"I am not helpless," Freed said smugly.

"Point taken," Cana laughed.

"I apologize for his poor attitude," Evergreen told her with a long-suffering sigh.

Freed rolled his eyes.

"So all these pranks," Cana asked, "started because Laxus told the guild they were dating?"

"Not on purpose," Laxus grumbled for the hundredth time.

"Yep," Freed replied.

"Of course Natsu would retaliate for that," Bickslow laughed.

"It was big news at the time," Freed said. "Gray finally breaking his rule."

His team looked at him. "What rule?"

"His no-dating rule."

Cana nodded. "Everyone knows about that."

"No, they don't. He had a rule?" Bickslow asked.

Freed and Cana looked at each other and laughed. And Freed realized why he knew this and Cana knew this, and nobody else at the table knew it.

"Why do you think he was single for so long?" Cana told them. "Natsu is the first person he's actually had a relationship with."

"Really?" Ever's eyes widened. "I thought...I mean, hasn't everyone in the guild had relationships? Wow."

Next to Freed, Laxus shifted. No one else seemed to notice.

"He just didn't want to," Freed said with a shrug. "All he ever said was that it was his rule."

"Ah. So you just couldn't help sharing the news?" Bickslow asked, grinning at Laxus.

"For the last time, I did not realize they were keeping it secret," Laxus said. "I didn't know any of this gossip about rules and relationships. Mira was saying shit and I corrected her. That's all. And then Gray told everyone."

"So why did he get mad at you?"

Laxus flung his hands in the air. "Beats me."

"So you're just the hapless victim?" Bickslow asked, grinning.

"Fuck off," Laxus said without heat.

Bickslow grinned and the conversation turned to other things. Under the table, Laxus grasped Freed's hand.

Eventually Ever went off to flirt with a Strauss, and Bickslow and Cana declared a drinking contest which Freed and Laxus bowed out of. It left the pair of them alone in the corner booth, shadowed enough that Laxus felt comfortable kissing Freed's temple.

"You make life interesting," Laxus said.

"You like me even more after I came up with this prank," Freed said, grinning. "Admit it."

Meeting his eye, Laxus grinned back.

"A little. Maybe I just enjoy watching you be clever."

"It wasn't that clever."

"Oh, it so fucking is. If you did this to me—not sure how you'd take the lightning out of storms and replace it with mine, but if you could, it would piss me off. I'd fuck the weather up in spite. I hate having an empty stomach."

"You're so hungry all the time," Freed said, rolling his eyes. "All of you. I think Dragon Slayer magic takes a heavier toll on your bodies."

"Or maybe dragon hide and dragon teeth come with a dragon stomach."

"And dragon other things," Freed said slyly before he could stop himself.

Laxus turned fuchsia, but he'd gotten better about not freezing up at sex jokes. Bit by bit getting better at talking about sex in general.

"I like that assessment," Laxus said, smiling despite his embarrassment.

"That's because it's true," Freed said. He smiled up at Laxus. "And I'm not just saying that because I'm afraid you'll stop doing those dragon other things with me."

Laxus gave a good impression of an appalled gasp. "Never. Why on earth would I stop?"

It was clearly a joke. But the kind of joke it was…as if Laxus couldn't imagine not wanting Freed.

Tilting his head Freed gave him a funny little smile.

"I'm glad you feel that way," he said softly. "Like I said, I don't want you to stop."

"Except when you've lost too much blood."

"Or when you have, you irresponsible idiot. That happens more often."

Laxus rolled his eyes. "Or when you nearly lose your arms."

"That hasn't stopped you yet."

"True. But that's because your arms aren't a requirement to do...fun things."

"Well, I think it'll be more fun when I'm healed," Freed said, glaring down at his bandages. "I want to do things again. I want to...participate."

Beneath the table, Laxus put a hand his leg. It made Freed's heart speed up—even merely that. Every small sign of affection. His heart would be done for in this relationship.

"Soon, Freed," Laxus said.

"Not soon enough."

The smile Laxus gave him was open and genuine—not caught up in fear or anger or his past. Pure Laxus.

"Believe me, I don't mind waiting for you to heal," he said.

Smiling down at the tabletop, Freed squeezed his hand.

A/N: Please comment if you feel inclined! I love hearing from you.