Summary: Something happened between Tony and Pepper before End Game. It happened after Tony came home and before he went away.

—o0o—

Resilience

It used to be hard to make Tony fall asleep. Then it kinda became easier. Pepper just needs to be in his arms and in an hour or two or possibly three, he gets to have some rest.

Then Thanos, clicking his fingers, happens.

A lot of people just disappear but Tony, he comes back from the vast space. Pepper who never gave up hope that he will come back to her, welcomes him with tears in her eyes and happiness, overwhelming happiness in her heart.

They are back together and when Tony sleeps, it is with Pepper in his arms. And when he wakes up, he must have her still in his arms. The new day should begin, progress, and end with her still in his arms.

At first, it's okay...then after a few days, it becomes suffocating. But then Pepper knows. Tony fears that the next person that will disappear will be her.

"I'm not going anywhere, Tony. We're the lucky ones."

So Tony's day begins with letting Pepper go. However, she must stay where his eyes can still see her. Or he goes in a panic, shouting Pepper as if she is missing.

"I'm here, Tony," Pepper will say.

And Tony will hug her tight as his body trembles.

"Tony...you need help," Pepper finally spells it out.

With a grimace, Tony sees a doctor. And the doctor is over worked and tired. People come to him for help and he could not help them all.

Tony looks at the other patients. They are the same as him...but some are actually worse. They have no one left.

He knows what he has to do. He admits it. "Pepper, I'm gonna lose you if I don't stop thinking that I will lose you, won't I?"

Pepper smiles, shaking her head. "No. You won't lose me."

Tony sighs. "If I don't see you, it doesn't mean you're gone. You're just doing your own thing. And I should be doing my own thing." Tony then takes a deep breath and a step forward. "I can do it. I can take my greatest fear—that of losing you and put it in a box and then I'll put that box in a drawer in my head that I'll never ever open. Every day I will tell myself that we have come this far...and that we will be together even farther ahead."

Pepper rubs Tony's face, feeling the scratch of his beard on her soft hands. "I don't want you to hide from me. If you accidentally pull that drawer open, you can hug me as tightly as you want. I'm not going anywhere, Tony, I promise."

"You can't promise me that."

"I can promise you that because I know you won't let anything happen to me, to us. You're already doing it. You're letting me out of your sight, it's the first step."

"And when I can't help it but call your name?'

"I will answer."

"Pep, I'm hanging on my sanity because I still have you."

"I know, Tony. And in a few months, you will have another...a little person to hang on to. It won't just be me."

"Morgan?"

"Yes, Morgan, if it's a boy."

"I don't mind if Morgan is a girl," Tony answers. "I think I like her to be a girl."

—o0o—

~5 12 19 AF P5 14 19~