A/N: So I been reading ALOT of SanjixZoro fics so I wrote one. If you had not read One Piece- Spit Out Your Soul, or something like that you WILL NOT understand this that well. You guys should read it but NOT if you're under 18! Same with this story! RATED M. Sex/Violence, cussing tho not to detailed!

RATED M NOT FOR TEENS UNDER 18! you have been warned!

Rape-Mentions of Rape- Cussing- Violence!

Also, one more chapter after this but, if you guys want I will make it into a longer story! Let me know your thoughts!

It was agonizingly quiet on the sunny, save for the shallow waves running across the ocean and the seagulls dancing around in the wind, making loud sounds. Sanji never really liked the silence. Sure, every now an then, when his annoyance was set to full throttle and he was beyond irritable, the quiet atmosphere wasn't so bad. He actually enjoyed it on days he felt heavier than he usually did. It was a nice change of pace, having the air around him breathable, tolerable. It gave him a sense of ease and clarity. Just him and the open ocean as they smoothly sailed from island to island. The wind blowing through his long strands of blonde hair and easing away the tension in his shoulders he constantly felt. His mind was constantly running away with painful thoughts and images that refused to leave him but as he stood there, the wind in his hair, touching his skin with soft kisses, and relaxing him profoundly, those thoughts seemed to dim. Even if for the time being.

"Sanji! MEAT!" Just like that his concentration on the beautiful scene in front of him was shattered by the annoying voice of their captain.

Sanji fished for his pack of cigarettes, or cancer sticks, as Chopper likes to call them. He took one out, dipping it between his lips, his teeth scratching up against the filter, before lighting it. He inhaled, blowing out a long trail of smoke before turning to see Luffy running towards him, a stupid grin plastered on his face. Sanji really had to wonder how someone could eat as much as Luffy did and not kill over. The guy had a stomach of steel and an apatite for a hundred men. He questioned the captains ability to live after all the food he digested but then again Luffy was strong. Dying from over eating is highly out of the question.

Clearly irritated, the scenary long forgotten, a vein popped out on Sanji's forehead and with fast, swift movements, he went for a solid round kick. His foot connected to Luffys hard head, knocking him into the side of the wall. Not hard enough to damage the wood but enough to silence the idiot. Not like it mattered, thanks to Luffy and Zoro's fight after his apparent death, part of the ship was destroyed. "Dammit Luffy! You ate not even two hours ago!" He seethed, placing his extended leg back on the deck.

Sanji was careful not to use the foot that still had bandages wrapped around it. It was healing nicely and small things like walking around wasn't all that painful anymore but it still hurt when he used a little more force than he should. Chopper had tended to it and ordered him to keep pressure off it for a few days. Walking was okay so long as he didn't over do it. It was still slightly swollen and mirrored a rainbow of purple and yellow bruises.

Luffy rubbed his now throbbing head. Pouting, he gazed up at the furious cook. "But, i'm hungry!"

Sanji's visible eye twitched in annoyance. "You're always hungry, you idiot!"

Just then Ussop barged out from the kitchen door and looked around till his eyes landed on Luffy.

Luffy was quick to get up after noticing the snipers furious expression and dashed past Sanji. Ussop following right behind him and if Sanji had to guess, the liar was still pissed about before. Like always, Luffy had a habit of stealing others food at the table and this time it was Ussops diner that went down Luffys throat. The rubbery bastard didn't seem to care if anyone else got fed, always trying to snatch up all the food laid out on the table, not worried about the loud protests or angry glares from the rest of the group.

Of course, Sanji never let him take Nami's or Robin's food. They were ladies and needed the nutrition but even a leg to Luffys head didn't stop him from trying. It irritated the blonde to no end.

Sanji sighed, a tired and weary, breath escaping his throat as his thoughts went to a certain swordsman. Zoro was eating less and drinking more. He rarely showed up whenever Sanji called out that the food was finished. For the past few days the block head kept his distance from the kitchen unless he wanted a bottle of Sake and even then he avoided the cook as much as possible. Sanji wasn't stupid. He knew Zoro was trying to put distance between them. It hurt more than Sanji was willing to admit. Zoro running away from him? Avoiding eye contact? Not speaking to him? It made his chest restrict painfully tight and he couldn't help the hurt feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach.

Sanji knew the reason why. The memories still tormented his mind and came to him whenever he wasn't occupied. He couldn't strip his mind of those images that unmercifully replayed over and over again. He wasn't afraid of Zoro. He didn't think different of him. His feelings didn't change. Still, he couldn't keep Zoro's cold smile, his emotionless expression, his hard and murderous eyes, from entering his subconscious. He had never seen such a look, such hatred on the swordsman's face and it was directed at him.

Even though he was completely at Zoros mercy and he was probably going to die, he wasn't afraid. Not for himself. He was afraid that Zoro would blame himself, spiral out of control.

'If I break now, the one that will suffer is you.'

That thought kept running through his head. Zoro, coming to realization what he did, drowning in self-loathing. His body was shattered, shuddering under Zoro's rough hands, his eyes threatening to form raindrops, but despite the pain he only thought of Zoro. With gentle, shaking hands, he didn't hesitate to wrap them around Zoro, embracing him, convoying his emotions in that simple gesture. It was a way for Sanji to tell him that he wasn't mad, he didn't blame him and he shouldn't blame himself afterwards.

Attacking Nami the way he did, Sanji KNEW something was wrong with Zoro. It was so unlike him, an unnatural act. As much as it pissed him off to hear such frightened words coming from the distressed navigator, it also worried him why Zoro would try such a thing.

'What really happened to you, Marimo?' Sanji silently asked himself, wanting, needing to know what caused Zoro's sudden violence.

A small tug on his pants picket brought him out of his ravine. He looked down to see Chopper gazing worriedly up at him, his eyes big and shinning with concern.

"Hey Chopper. You need something?" Sanji asked smiling.

"Are you okay. I called you twice. Does your foot hurt?" The reindeers gentle voice almost made his smile falter.

Leave it to Chopper to always worry about his patients but at the moment he wasn't sure the doctor was really asking him if his foot was okay. Maybe that was half the case. The look in his eyes asked 'What's bothering you?'

Sanji shrugged. "Yeah. I'm okay. Where's..." His voice trailed off, Zoros name on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't quite grasp it.

Chopper tilted his head, not completely convinced by Sanji's answer. He seemed to understand who it was Sanji was asking about. "I think he's in the crows nest. He's been staying up there alot lately. I'm worried."

Sanji rose his brow. He should have know that's where Zoro would spend his time. The absence of the swordsman was really starting to get to him. They didn't get a chance to talk after he woke up. He remembered Zoros pained cries, his uncontrollable sobs and the way he shook with tremors as he hugged him. It broke something inside Sanji, something fragile, something vulnerable. His heart, maybe? Seeing the tough and unwavering roanoa Zoro wracked with emotion was a rare sight. Seeing tears running down that tight face even more so. He never wanted to see Zoro's composure break like that again, to see him so broken.

"I see." Sanji mumbled, seriously worried about the moss head.

"He doesn't talk much. He wouldn't even let me examine his wounds. What if they get infected?" Chopper gritted his teeth, tears threatening to fall.

Sanji blinked. The dumbass refused to be looked at? His memory of that night was slightly hazy. At least with the part of him waking up to loud crashing sounds and sharp pain. He saw the damage, saw his nakama fighting, saw the blood on Zoro's chest but his mind was like a thick fog. He couldn't think. All he could do was cough and blink as he tried to come back to his senses. Then Luffy was right at his side, smiling in relief and happiness at seeing him alive. He remembered the look on Zoro's face. Sanji could see so many emotions swimming around in the swordsman's eyes. Once his vision cleared, he saw surprise. Shock. Relief that quickly turned to inner turmoil, pain and guilt etching over his features before he turned and tried to run. If not for Luffy tackling him from behind, he was sure Zoro would have ran and never stopped until he was far from the sunny. Far from him.

'Seriously. What the hell happened to him?'

Sanji placed a reassuring hand on top of the distressed reindeers head. "Don't worry. It's Zoro." He highly doubting Luffy did any real damage. "He's too stupid and stubborn to let a few injuries stop him from reaching his dream." Ah. That's right. Just like that time.

When he first met Zoro. The moment he first saw his ambition, saw the determination and conviction in those dark eyes. Back then, Sanji couldn't understand why someone would go that far for their ambition. Watching as Zoro stood up and fought against Mihawk, even though their strength was just too different, he was transfixed by the swordsman's stubborn and unyielding will to beat the words greatest. Even in the end, when Mihawk cut him down, Zoro's resolve was unfaltering, his expression unwavering. He stood there and took the piercing sting of the largest sword straight to the chest without flinching.

That day, he supposed was when his feelings for the moss head started to grow. He saw how strong the man was, how dedicated to his dream of becoming the worlds greatest swordsman, and how it matched his own desire to seek the all blue.

He had no doubt the stupid Marimo would reach that goal.

Chopper sniffled but nodded. "Yeah. I just wish he would let me make sure he's okay."

Sanji smiled fondly at him. "How about I check?" He offered, wanting to see Zoro and now having an excuse, to.

Choppers eyes shinned. "Really?"

Sanji laughed at the doctors sudden enthusiasm. "Yeah. That moss head hasn't ate so. I'll bring him up some food later."

"FOOD!"

Sanji groaned. "Do you ever thing about anything else!" He growled at Luffys sudden outburst.

•••One Piece•••

Once the food was served and laid out around the table, he called out to the crew before making it his mission to see Zoro, knowing he wouldn't be coming to the kitchen anytime soon.

Luffy was the first to barrel through the door. Ussop was right on his heels, determined to get to his plate before Luffy could even touch it. Then there was Franky, Chopper, Brook and the girls. Even though Sanji expected not to see a familiar moss of green hair, he still couldn't help the frustrated sigh that left his parted lips. Scooping up a plate he made especially for Zoro, a fish fillet with cooked potatoes and rice, Sanji grabbed a full bottle of Sake, walking out of the door and towards the nest.

When he got to the top he froze. Zoro was there and was sleeping. His arms tucked comfortably behind his head against the hard wood. His eyes closed and his mouth in a straight line but he could tell it wasn't a peaceful slumber. If anything, worry line were visibly seen and his face was slightly scrunched up in pain. For a moment Sanji thought it might have been from his injuries but his body looked completely relaxed.

Sitting the plate and drink down, Sanji made his way over to the oblivious Marimo. He stared at Zoro's smooth features. His skin looked rough but soft at the same time. He didn't get a chance to really think about it when Zoro came at him so destructively. He didn't get to really feel Zoro. Not the way he wanted to. The thought of being intimate with Zoro always crossed his mind and still does. He wasn't fragile, he wasn't some weakling and though Zoro's attack on him was forced and painful, it didn't change how he felt about the bastard.

He loved Zoro.

With a careful hand, trying his best to steady his nerves, Sanji reached out and touched Zoro's cheek. The skin was in fact soft and smooth. His thumb went into a circular motion. Zoro didn't even stir. He had always found the man attractive and he longed to touch Zoro, to make him his but he didn't think his feelings would be returned. Unrequited love was the worst. It was cruel and painful. So was rejection. He could not picture Zoro loving him in that way and it made his chest ache in sorrow. So how could he possibly tell him that he loved him when he was afraid to see disgust staring back at him? When he could destroy their friendship with a roll of word off his tongue?

Dammit. This isn't fair.

Sanji dropped his hand. His gaze was locked on Zoro's beautiful lips. He wondered how it felt to have them pressed against his. He wanted to ravish Zoro's skin, feel every part of him. Sanji imagined running his slim fingers up the length of Zoro's tan and well build chest. His finger tracing over the long scar that was forever embedded there as a reminder of his loss to Mihawk. Sanji wanted to feel those spiky tips of green entwining through his fingers. All in all, Sanji wanted to feel the warmth of Zoro's skin connecting with his and take him under the night stars. He wanted to wipe those memories of a few days ago away, wanted to dispel them from his mind and Zoro's. Sanji imagined gentle hands instead of rough, exploring his body, wanted Zoro's heart and soul. To claim him. The right way.

Sanji was on his knees beside the unconscious swordsman and all too slowly he leaned forward. He really hoped Zoro stayed asleep. If he woke up now, he didn't doubt waking up with a black eye the next morning. In that moment though, he would take that chance. Being close to Zoro, being by his side, it's all he wanted.

His lips ghosted over Zoro's. He could feel small, hot breaths against his mouth, making him shudder in anticipation and want as Zoro's breaths kissed his skin. He treaded careful, not wanting to wake the Marimo. Softly, he pressed his lips against Zoro's. It was a gentle and cautious touch but enough to feel the warmth and tender flesh next to his. For a moment his body seemed to melt, taking in the lips against his. Sanji didn't want to pull back, he didn't want the moment to fade. He might never get another chance to feel Zoro's hot breath so close. So daring.

However, his whole frame went tense when he felt the kiss, that was so small, so one sided, was deepened immensely.

Sanji reeled back, thinking Zoro had woken up and he was moments away from being pummeled only to sigh in relief at seeing the swordsman's eyes were still closed. Something else caught his attention instead. Running down Zoro's cheeks, the sun making them sparkle like fine glass, was tears. The sight clutched Sanji's heart. Zoro was crying in his sleep. Sanji clenched his eyes closed, knowing that Zoro must be having one hell of a dream to be openly crying even if he wasn't awake.

He had to wake him up, tear Zoro from the hell that's gripping him. Sanji gripped his shoulders and rougly shook him. No too hard but enough to jolt the sleeping swordsman. "Oi, moss head!"

Zoro's eyes snapped open and he was alert in seconds. His hands were already going for his swords, ready to cut down any threat that might be near. Sanji saw two things. One, Zoro's eyes were red and unfocused. Two, he was breathing harsh. The cook eyed him for a moment longer before speaking. "Zoro?"

His voice got an instant reaction out of Zoro. Sanji often called him by his first name. The swordsman's attention went to him and what Sanji saw in them made him flinch. There was so much emotion hidden behind those hard, calculating eyes but one was more evident than the others. Sadness. Also relief.

Zoro tore his gaze away from Sanji. "What do you want ero cook." He asked, placing his swords back down on the hard surface once he realized there was no danger.

Sanji didn't know what to say. So he said the one thing he wanted to say since the accident happened. "I'm sorry."

•••One Piece•••

Zoro evaded the cook with ease. His guilt was really starting to get to him. Everytime he saw the blonde it brought up memories that he wanted so desperately to purge from his mind. Zoro was not weak, he was strong, but under the weight of his own actions his calm demeanor, his strength, was being shattered. Maybe not physically, he had muscles and agility, but his mind wasn't as stable. Not at the moment. He could not come to reason with the tremendous act he committed. It was unheard of. It crossed boundaries that should never be crossed. He had hurt Sanji in the worst possibly way and Zoro deserved nothing more than the cooks wrath. Yet, Sanji had not ran his foot through Zoro's head or even barked out a stream of curses.

He had thought...he had killed Sanji. Technically he did. Sanji wasn't breathing, his face as pale as a sheet and eyes clouded over without any life sparking in them. And tears, they ran down Sanji's face, frozen in time just like the cooks heart. Frozen, un-beating, still. The once beautiful glow of light that once shinned in them was gone, replaced with dim iris's. The lively blue, a radiant color that resembled the ocean itself, was glazed over by darkness. They held no awareness, no shine when Zoro looked into them.

Confusion, panic, fear and hopelessness hit him like a strong tidal wave threatening to knock him off balance. Then, realization hit him twice as hard. He had done that to Sanji. He had violated him, the proof not only visibly seen as he was still inside Sanji, but rushing back to him as he remembered every detail.

How could he let that happen? How could he hurt the person he would die for, give his life in an instant for? The person he secretly admired? The person he loved?

The sunny rocked back and forth with the ever increasing waves and Zoro remained perched at the top of the nest. He could see the cook, clear as day, looking out to sea. His features relaxed and his mind seemed else where. Sanji stood at the rail peering out. It was hard to see his expression but Zoro really didn't want to see, afraid of what he might find lingering in the cooks eyes.

The wind swept Sanji's hair back, the strands dancing with the invisible force that pushed them. The cooks eyes were closed, his shoulders slumping, all tension draining from them.

Zoro was transfixed at the sight. Seeing Sanji so at peace, so down to earth was rare and unusual. It was one of those moments that needed to be engraved into a thoughtful memory to be looked back on.

Luffys loud screaming of 'meat' brought Zoro back from his musings and he quickly looked away. What the hell was he thinking? Sanji probably hated him. Had every right to. He hated himself, too.

It's been three days. Three days of evading the cook and trying to stay away from Sanji. He only ate when necessary, rarely eating with the rest of the crew, which was late at night when everyone was asleep, and for Sake. It wasn't like he could completely stay out of Sanji's line of sight. The Sake was in the kitchen and sometimes so was the cook. Zoro was quick about getting the bottle, not giving Sanji the chance to say anything. He didn't want to see the hate swimming around in those orbs or the disgust that might be sent towards him. He deserved it. It deserved it all but he didn't think he would be able to bear such hatred.

Zoro tried not to let the whirlwind of emotions clashing inside him completely drown him. So he instead decided on sleeping. He let his eyes close and allowed his body to relax, focusing to the mesmerizing sounds of nature around him. He was slowly pulled into unconsciousness, hoping to get away from the guilt but even then he could not get away from the nightmares that continued to distress him even in sleep.

(Nightmare)

"I want to hear you scream." Zoro's voice didn't even sound like Zoro, but cold and dangerous.

Sanji was pinned under him, his legs suspended in the air with Zoro looming over him. The cook was eyeing him in shock and regret. Why was he looking at Zoro like that? Tears stained his flustered cheeks as he tried to breathe but with Zoro's iron grip cutting off his air, that was an impossible task. Choked sobs and pained grunts filled the air each time Zoro moved his hips, ramming into the blonde with force. His handling anything but gentle. Zoro continued to move in and out of Sanji as a quick pace, his hand still wrapped around the cooks fragile neck. His other hand held onto Sanji's inner thigh, one knee pushing the other back, so that the cooks legs were spread apart.

Sanji stared up at Zoro with a look of sadness and pain. Deep within the corners of his mind he was awake, watching as his body did nasty things to Sanji's. He wasn't in control but he could feel his movements, see Sanji's heartbroken expression and it killed Zoro.

'Sanji! I'm sorry...im so sorry...' He sobbed in his own mind, the words echoing in the darkness and not being said out loud. He slammed into Sanji, each time more fearcily than the last and the cook clenched his teeth, his eyes starting to slide closed as his lungs began to burn. The air he so desperately needed being ripped away from him.

Zoro reached his climax, his back arching as his release sent shivers up his spine. He was buried to the hilt deep within a motionless cook. Zoro inwardly yelled, sanji's name being shouted in despair.

Zoro closed his eyes. Unknown voices floated in his foggy mind. They fed his thirst, trained his anger, made me into a beast without a mind. He was feral, hidden behind a mask of ferocious voices telling him to kill. To hurt. To feed them screams and fill them with satisfaction but Zoro fought back harder, screaming into the darkness. His will stronger than they desires and they soon subsided completely. The pitch black he floated in was soon bathed in light and his vision cleared along with his mind.

His confused eyes stopped on the cook on the ground. Sanji's eyes were half slits, his mouth hanging slightly open and Zoro's breath hitched, his chest ached. With gentle hands, his fingers threaded through Sanji's soft locks of blonde. "S..Sanji?" His voice cracked. This wasn't right, Sanji can't be...

Zoro, with his bare hands, had strangled the life out of the cook.

A sickening 'pop' was heard as he pulled out of the cook, a mess of blood and semen pooling on the floor and Zoro looked away in disgust. His gaze settled on Sanji's face and the dam inside him burst. Sorrow drug him under, causing the tears to slowly run down his face. He gentle picked Sanji up and placed him against his chest. Arms wrapped around the corpse and tightened. He had never held Sanji and now he never would. He would never hold the cook while he was alive.

"Shity... Cook. Open your damn eyes." He gritted his teeth, lost in the reality he had made. "Please."

He got no answer. He would never hear the annoying blondes voice again, never fight with him over something as stupid as nodding off on the steps. He would never feel Sanji's hard kicks that woke him up and caused a bickering session between them.

"Sanji. I love you." He whispered, pulling back slightly to see Sanji's pale face.

His hand caressed the cool cheek. He kissed Sanji then, a desperate, deep kiss that he wished would bring the cook back to life but knew it wouldn't. Sanji's lips were full, soft and everything he imagined they would be except now much cooler as death settled in. The warmth was no longer there and he was pretty sure his heart shattered.