AN: This 'story' will likely be just a series of drabbles in the Miraculous: Tales of Clumsy Girl and Pretty Boy universe. It's meant to take place after that story ends. Think of it as straight up Adrien-torture. (Mwahahaha~) If you get easily embarrassed empathetically, this is not for you.

~o~

Making Babies

"Why isn't this working?!"

Adrien fell face first into bed, letting loose a scream of frustration into his pillow. Plagg hovered nearby, snacking away on a wheel of camembert as he regarded his chosen. "I have to say, kid, I've never had a Chat Noir quite like you," he chuckled as he munched away. "I've had Black Cats keep their identities secret from their significant others before and I've seen cats that use their secret identities to pick up a lot of girls, but I've never seen one completely helpless to even talk to the girl they're currently dating!"

"I'm so happy that you find so much entertainment in my constant failure," Adrien growled, peeking an eye out to glare at the little kwami.

"I do!" Plagg replied cheerfully. "Keep it up! I haven't had this much fun in ages!"

"Just eat your cheese!" the model huffed at him. He crossed his arms, unwillingly replaying his latest disaster in his mind. His face heated with mortification and groaned into his pillow again. "Why is this so hard?"

"I don't understand why you're even bothering," his lazy kwami retorted. "Do you need to talk to her to Adrien?"

"Of course I need to talk to her," Adrien replied tartly. "I want to take her on picnics in the parc, to hold her hand along the Seine, to kiss her on top of the Tour Eiffel..." He let out a dreamy sigh, just imagining all the things he would do when the fated 'One Day' came.

"All of which you can do as Chat Noir."

"There's only so many things you can do in a suit, Plagg," the blond replied archly.

The little kwami contemplated this. "Mmm, true. It would be hard to make kittens-"

"Oh my God! SHUT UP!" Adrien yowled, throwing a pillow at the cat god. Not that he was wrong, but- "We're not even close to that stage yet!"

However, now that he came to think of it, he did want kids at some point. And Mari seemed like she'd be a fantastic mother - a thought that made him nearly steam with how hot his blush was. They would make the most awesome, kick-ass superhero parents ever.

Assuming that he could ever talk to her as Adrien that is.

That reminder sent a sudden chill of dread through him. Right, he still had to talk to her. Which he would eventually. He had no doubt about that. ...But what if he couldn't get his act together in time? What if they got so old, they couldn't have kids!

Adrien went white. Oh no. His future family was at stake!

The next morning, the model was absolutely determined to rectify the situation. Marching into the classroom with his hands fisted at his sides, he sought out Marinette who was back of the class chatting with Rose and Juleka. Everyone paused to watch him, as if sensing that he was finally going to confess his feelings to their class president.

"Marinette," he called, his voice full and clear. Several students gasped.

The girl in question turned around, her bluebell eyes wide and curious. She seemed to sense that something was up to, as she spoke, "Yes, Adrien?" Not Pretty Boy. His actual name.

Adrien stood an arm's length apart from her. "Marinette," he said again, taking her hand in his. The other students leaned in, craning to hear what happened next.

"Y-yes?" Marinette replied, now thoroughly perplexed.

"Marinette."

"Um..." the girl frowned, now wondering if this was going anywhere. So did a few others.

Unfortunately, Adrien's thoughts were stuck on a loop and he was desperately trying to unstick them. What was he doing? He was doing something. He had something to tell her. What was it?! It was so important, but he was sucked into her bluebell eyes and for some reason all coherent thought had just flown out the window.

Oh wait!

"You should have babies!" he cried emphatically, his green eyes bright and earnest.

A deafening silence resounded throughout the class.

Marinette stared. "...What? Like, right now?" she asked incredulously, while Alya and Nino (that traitor!) began to crack up in their seats.

"Wh-what?" Adrien stammered, paling when he realized what he'd just said. "N-no! Of course not! That's not-! I wasn't trying to suggest anything like that! Y-you're completely your own woman- I mean person! Nobody can tell you what to do with your own body! I am completely for women's rights! Go women!"

By now the other students went back to what they were doing before Adrien entered the classroom. Except Alya who was still howling on the ground laughing. Meanwhile, Adrien floundered, trying desperately to do whatever he could not to make himself sound like a complete crazy person.

"I-it's just that you would have super cute babies! Lots and lots of them!" he babbled, only growing more red and flustered by the second. "L-like mini-versions of yourself, all big-cheeked and chubby! N-n-not that you're chubby! You're like the complete opposite of chubby! In fact, I have no idea how you stay so small living in a bakery! You've got to have the metabolism of a hyena or something! M-most people would blow up like a rubber dingy!"

"Um... thanks?" Marinette said uncertainly, her brow knit in concern as though she had some serious doubts about the blond's sanity. Then as she usually did when their conversations went off the deep-end like this, she politely excused herself. "So... I have to go do... um," she gestured uselessly at the air, "something. Talk to you later, Pretty Boy."

With that, she turned her back and stiffly made her way out of the classroom, looking like she was trying very hard not to break into a run.

"OH MY GAWD!" Alya shrieked unhelpfully once her friend was out the door, still holding her sides in laughter. "A-Adrien, that was your best one yet!"

Absolutely mortified, Adrien trudged over to his seat as though he were walking to the gallows. He let his head fall on top of his desk none too carefully. Maybe if he hit it hard enough, he could wipe out that entire episode from his mind forever.

"Hey, don't give yourself a concussion, dude," Nino said, trying (and failing) to stifle his snickers. He gave the model a consoling pat on the back. "Don't worry. You'll get there eventually."

Adrien only let out a miserable groan in reply.

I wonder how Mari feels about artificial insemination.