A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first attempt at a Bleach fanfic. I recently got back into all the anime I used to watch and decided to give it a try. We'll see how this goes. I hope you like. (Also, this story is posted on AO3 as well, just in case you run into it there.)

Chapter 1:

They should have done it a long time ago. Back when she was just a tiny thing cowering in the corner while her father, if the man can even be called that, screamed at her in a drunken rage. Her arms wrapped around her stomach where she had been kicked and a nasty gash on her forehead from a bottle thrown with too good of aim. They should have stepped in. But Kisuke, arriving not long after they had, assured them it wouldn't happen again.

Told them that Isshin wasn't handling his wife's death well and was too drunk to realize what he had done to Ichigo. Like that was some kind of fucking excuse.

Kisuke swore that Isshin would get help, and Ichigo would be fine. That taking her away would do more harm than good in the long run.

But looking down at the petite orangette shivering under a number of blankets, purple and blue staining the area around her eye and the left side of her face, Shinji isn't sure he'll ever be able to forgive himself for not kidnapping the young vizard years ago.

"It's okay, Berry-tan," Mashiro says, petting her head gently.

'No,' he thinks. 'No it fuckin' ain't.'

.

It's Isshin's fault. Isshin and the entire goddamn Gotei 13.

The war is long and hard. There are casualties on both sides. At the center of it is a girl. A sixteen year old child who never had a chance. From the moment she was born, her life had been decided for her. The Shinigami-Quincy hybrid with a hollow living inside of her. Their trump card over Aizen. And really, how pathetic is that? Relying on a mere child to save their asses.

The Shinigami like to think of themselves as good and just.

Shinji sometimes wonders if they're the real monsters in this story.

Because he honestly doesn't know what's worse. The fact that everyone was willing to sacrifice Ichigo for the greater good, or the fact that Ichigo marched willingly to her possible death, because she felt that she had to. Not because she wanted to fight. But because she had been raised for this. Molded into the perfect soldier and lead to the fight like a lamb to slaughter.

Her life had been stolen from her the moment people realized her potential.

It isn't fair.

.

Ichigo is a tiny thing when they first meet.

All wavy orange hair and big brown eyes, hiding behind her mother's skirt.

Masaki laughs, ruffling the girls hair gently. "Don't be shy, Ichigo. They're old friends of your father's. Say hello." Shinji winces at the term 'friend'. He wouldn't use that word to describe their relationship. More like acquaintances occasionally forced to interact. The only reason they bothered to show up today was because Masaki personally came to invite them. A four-year old's birthday party isn't really their thing.

Especially if it's for Isshin's brat,

She peaks out from behind Masaki, staring up at them with wide, curious eyes. "'ello," she says softly, still clinging tightly to her mother. A pause. "Tanks fer comin'," she says, a little grin on her face, before ducking back behind her mother.

And dammit, if she isn't the cutest thing. He can almost feel the metaphorical ice around his heart starting to melt as she stares up at them with those too big eyes. The other's must be similarly affected because by the end of the day, she has them wrapped around her tiny finger.

All of them. Though they will lately vehemently deny this fact to anyone who asks.

Even Hiyori eventually succumbs to the cute little monster's pull and finds herself sitting at a miniature table serving tea to stuffed animals. Shinji may or may not have taken pictures for future blackmail opportunities.

Towards the end of the day, when Ichigo is thoroughly tired out from the festivities (such as making Kensei give her pony rides), instead of climbing into her mother or father's lap, Shinji finds himself with an armful of small sleeping child.

He also finds that he doesn't mind as much as he should.

.

They call her a hero.

The Seiretei celebrates their victory.

Sure, they won. Aizen is gone. But at what cost?

Ichigo sits in a place of honor, surrounded by people congratulating her and slapping her on the back. No one seems to notice to haunted look in her eyes. The bags underneath them from sleepless nights. The way she's curling on herself, like she's trying to disappear. No one wants to see the damage they inflicted on her.

They force themselves to not notice the reiatsu spikes at night, or the choked off screams that follow. Don't want to see their hero as weak. Don't want to see the scared little girl that they threw the wolves suffering because of them.

Shinji watches as Ichigo forces a smile onto her face as another person comes to speak with her, and he has to fight down the building rage and urge to knock their faces in on Ichigo's behalf. How dare they?

Can't they see?

Can't they see what they've done?

.

It would be a lie to say they didn't grow attached to the orangette.

By the time she's five years old, the eight of them are a constant presence in the cheerful, if a little crybaby-ish, girl's life. Should they regret getting so attached? Probably. But do they? Not a bit.

The first day of kindergarten, Shinji stands next to Masaki and waves to Ichigo as she crosses the street to join her classmates. Isshin had business at the clinic and hadn't bothered to show. Surprise, surprise.

Kensei is the one who threatened the little punks who started picking on her for her oddly colored hair and sent her home in tears more than once. The disapproving look he receives from Masaki is worth it in his book.

Ichigo is very bright for her age, and quickly goes through her small collection of 'boring kids books'. Lisa, after a few reminders that Ichigo is just a child, finds titles appropriate for her age and secretly drops them off in her room every other week while she isn't there. The little squeal of joy she emits each time brings a smile to her face.

Hiyori is the one who encourages her to throw her first punch. After the umpteenth time the little strawberry has come home crying from being bullied, Hiyori had had enough and spent an afternoon teaching her how to defend herself. She laughs maniacally the next day when she is informed Ichigo beat the snot out of three older kids.

If there's one thing the brat is not, it's delicate. She's rough and easily riled up. More often than not when they see her, she is covered in scrapes and bruises from her escapades around the neighborhood terrorizing all the other children. Hachi heals them with a patient smile and gently reminds her to be nice to the other children. He merely sighs and shakes his head when a few days later she is sent home for biting someone.

Mashiro is the fun one. And Ichigo fucking adores her. Especially after she lets Ichigo dress up as a princess and order everyone around for the day. There may have been cake for breakfast and silly string involved. Masaki was not pleased.

Rose is musical. Ichigo is musical. She takes to guitar like a fish takes to water. She can often be heard singing along to Rose's favorite songs, her voice high and clear. Although playing the guitar at 1am instead of sleeping is quickly put to a stop.

When she's seven Love takes her to an anime convention. She comes home with a ridiculous amount of shonen manga. Ichigo is delighted. Masaki is not delighted because they already ran out of space for books and sends them out to buy another bookshelf that they then have to assemble.

It takes them ten hours and five breakdowns to get it right.

Fuck IKEA and their products.

.

When Ichigo breaks it starts slowly, then it happens all at once.

The cracks began forming long before she had met Kuchiki Rukia. Long before she heard the word Shinigami and unlocked her powers. By the time the Soul Society got their hands on her, Kurosaki Ichigo was well on her way to a break down. They just sped things up.

It starts with a single conversation between the soutaichou and Isshin.

The soutaichou, in all his infinite wisdom, feels that Ichigo has done enough, and deserves to just be a normal child.

Shinji snorts. Wonders if the soutaichou is going senile in his old age. How the hell does he expect Ichigo to be normal after this? Dragged into a bloody war created by other people, forced to fight their battles. Hurt so many times for the sake of people who only cared about her for her power. And now they just want her to waltz back into the world of the living and move on with her life like nothing ever happened?

Good fucking luck with that. That kid is screwed for life.

Isshin readily agrees. Wants to give his daughter a chance at a normal life.

The normal life he stole from her.

And so, without even consulting the kid in question, they once again decide what her life is going to be. She's to be cut off from the spirit world. Which is a fucking novel idea considering she somehow managed to hold onto her powers after her Getsuga Tenshou. How the hell are you supposed to separate someone from the thing they are so intimately connected to?

Turns out, they can.

The Shinigami are banned from speaking to her. He can't decide if he's more pissed about the fact that the two men thought that this was for the best, or the fact that everyone went along with it. Didn't hesitate in abandoning the traumatized child they had befriended without so much as a proper goodbye.

Ichigo isn't allowed to know what is currently happening in the Soul Society. Told that it isn't any of her concern.

She is unofficially banned from Urahara Shoten. Every time she shows up, she is quickly shuffled away by an apologetic Kisuke. Even though her friends, Shinigami and human alike are gathered there. Even if her family, her father and her sisters, are there, she is turned away.

"It's nothing to concern yourself with," her father says with a smile, "why don't you run along and have some fun?"

Her friends quickly change the subject every time Ichigo walks into the room, greet her pleasantly, then usually find some excuse to leave.

"Sorry, Ichigo. I Just started a new job and I'm going to be late."

"I'm so sorry, Kurosaki-chan! I promised to meet with Tatsuki later."

"I have business to attend to. I'll see you around Kurosaki."

Isshin says it's for her own good. Says she needs a break from this world in order to process things after everything she's gone through. She's still alive after all, and has an entire human life ahead of her. Ichigo shouldn't have to spend every day worrying about the spirit world and no one was to bother her about it.

It's bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit, and more than a little sad. They don't see the hurt look on her face when they turn and walk away. Miss the way the smile falls off her face one day and never returns. The constant rubbing at her eyes and tremble in her voice whenever she bothers to speak to anyone. Which isn't often these days. They don't see the signs of sleep deprivation or the way her clothes are starting to get baggy on her shrinking frame.

They don't see how's she barely keeping her head above the ever rising water.

The next time he raises his concern and someone brushes him off with a "It's for her own good. She needs time to heal", he gives them a blank look, fingers itching to grab his zanpaktou and run them through with it.

"Are ya fuckin' stupid?"

.

The day Ichigo walks into their warehouse, Shinji can't deny feeling a little giddy. They hadn't seen the kid since she was nine years old. Since her old man decided that they needed to butt out of her life. Oh, they didn't go without a fight, of course. But in the end, Isshin, won. Telling them that Ichigo didn't want to see them anymore. Which he admits, looking back, had been a little suspicious. Why would the kid suddenly reject them without warning?

They had grudgingly backed off though after complaining to Kisuke, who urged them to give the kid some space and let her have time to deal with her mother's death. Some space and some time turned into six years of no communication.

He had missed the little ankle biter.

Missed the excited yells of "Shinji nii-chan!" whenever she saw him.

But when she steps in and looks up at them, there isn't a hint of excitement on her face. None of the joy that used to overtake her whenever her big brothers and sisters came to visit. She gives no indication that she even remembers them. Just gives them the scowl that seems to permanently reside on her face.

A cold feeling settles in his stomach.

This Ichigo is quiet, reserved, with an even shorter fuse than the one she had as a child. The anger practically radiates off her, like she's pissed off at the entire world. A part of him wonders if this is just her being the typically moody teenager, but he can tell that there's something else lurking underneath the surface. Something she's trying to push down and hide under layers and layers of anger and bad attitude. And it's not just her hollow.

He feels stupid for expecting the same Ichigo they had known.

Stupid for leaving her at the mercy of her fucking idiot father and that damned shopkeeper.

.

The Seireitei wants them to come home. The old man sends Kyouraku, Ukitake, and Unohana to personally give them the news. The three captains least likely to cause them to lose their tempers and go on a rampage.

It's a surprisingly easy decision for them to make.

They look at the white haoris', the fukutaichou badges, the offers of other positions. They think of the orange haired child residing in Karakura Town, all alone, slipping farther and farther away as the days went by, and their mind is made up instantly

"You can take it and shove it up your ass!" Hiyori screeches, nearly beaming Ukitake in the head with a badge. "Who the hell do you guys think you are!?"

Kyouraku looks like he is about to protest, but is cut off.

"What she means to say, Kyouraku-taichou, Ukitake-taichou, Unohana-taichou" Lisa says, leveling her former captain with an icy stare, "is that unlike you Shinigami, we do not abandon our comrades. It's all of us, or none of us."

The rest of them agree silently.

The silence stretches on for a few moments. The Vizards hold their ground, daring the captains to say or do anything. Finally, Ukitake sighs, a resigned look on his face.

"The soutaichou isn't going to like this," he says, running a hand through his hair.

"He should have thought about this before being an idiot," Kensei says gruffly, and annoyed look on his face. "He did it to himself. You all did."

And they all know Kensei means much more than just their refusal of their old positions. An uncomfortable look appears on the three captain's faces.

'Good,' Shinji thinks.

There's another tense pause before Unohana breaks the silence again. "And how is Kurosaki-chan? Is she doing well?"

"You would know the answer if any of you bothered to come see her," Hachi cuts in, a cold edge in his voice a change from his usual kind and soft spoken demeanor.

Kyouraku's eyes are shielded by his hat, Ukitake looks away, and Unohana's lips are drawn into a tight line.

"You're all a bunch a fuckin' cowards. That's what ya are."

.

Once, after a long night of training, they find her on the roof of the warehouse, too close to the edge for comfort, reiatsu fluctuating wildly. When they first felt her reiatsu they had all rushed to her in fear that it might be her hollow fighting for control. As they stood there, unsure of what to do, Shinji almost wished it was her hollow. That they knew how to deal with. But this...something just felt very wrong. This wasn't the perpetually angry and closed off teen that wandered in for training weeks ago. This wasn't just teenage angst.

Ichigo doesn't seem to notice them at first, just stands there staring out into the night, a strange expression on her face.

Shinji is the one who steps forward. Slowly, so as not to startle her.

"Ichigo?"

She twitches, but doesn't reply or acknowledge him. Shinji continues to move closer to her until he is standing directly behind her. "Ichigo?" he tries again, placing a hand on her shoulder. Ichigo starts, whirling around to face him. Her eyes are wide and bright, her breathing uneven.

"Hey there. What ya doin' all alone up here?" He tries to make it sound as casual as possible. He is definitely not panicking. Nope.

Ichigo looks at him for a long time, almost like she's searching for something. Whatever it is, she apparently finds it because she relaxes ever so slightly, a little bit of the panic melting away.

"Shinji-nii?" she asks, in a quiet, unsure tone. Almost like she's afraid of what he's going to do or say. And if that doesn't say how upset she is at the moment he doesn't know what does.

Ichigo hasn't referred to him or the other's as big brother or big sister the entire time she's been training with them. Whether it's because she's actually managed to forget about them (which he doubts) or it's because she's still angry about whatever they did to offend her when she was nine and demanded they stop visiting (most likely) he isn't sure. Or maybe it's neither.

Maybe she's angry at them because, like everyone else, they never bothered to sit down and tell her about the world she was part of. Just showed up one day and said 'Surprise! We're not human!'. That's a possibility too.

But that's a discussion for another day. Right now he needs to focus on the current issue. The baby of their little family is standing on the edge of the roof, emotions out of wack. Their baby is hurting.

She looks young in this moment. So damn young. But that's because she is. Everyone seems to conveniently forget that fact when dealing with Ichigo. But he and the other's can't. They still see her as that cute little kid with ribbons in her hair chasing after them with a huge grin on her face, babbling in a mixture of Shinji's Kansai Ben and Masaki's childhood Hakata Ben that often got her strange looks from other Karakura Town residents.

"Onii-chan?" she tries again, voice shaking ever so slightly.

He heaves out a long sigh. "Yeah, Ichi. I'm here. Let's get ya inside, hm?"

She nods, letting him pull her against his side as he walks her back into the warehouse. The other's following closely behind, worry evident on all their faces.

Ichigo lets herself be pushed into a comfy seat, a warm blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She doesn't seem to be injured, but Hachi scans her anyway in an effort to relieve some of his own worries. She doesn't respond much to their questioning, just an occasional yes or no, or a shrug. Refuses to make eye contact with any of them. It's frustrating, but in all honesty, their frustration is aimed more at themselves for not noticing things earlier. For not seeing that something is clearly going on.

But it's not like they were there to see what the hell's been going on, were they?

"...Did I do something wrong?"

"What was that?" he asks, snapping out of his musings.

"Did I do something wrong?" she repeats, a little louder this time. "One day you guys...just stopped...did I do something wrong?"

Shinji is suddenly fighting the urge to go and murder that goat-faced bastard. He wouldn't have...

"Of course not, Ichi-chan," Rose soothes, smoothing back her hair, "you haven't done anything. Why would you think that?"

"You didn't visit. Dad said you didn't want to see me anymore..."

And there goes what little self control he has. He can hear Sakanade roaring in the back of his mind, calling for Isshin's blood. Who gave him the right?

He doesn't know how to fix this. Doesn't know what words to say to even try and begin to make this right. Deep down, Shinji wonders if this situation is even fixable. They fucked up bad. Do they even deserve a second chance? No, probably not. They deserve Ichigo about as much as everyone else does.

Not at all.

But that doesn't mean they're not going to try.

"I'm scared onii-san..."

"Of course you are. We'd be concerned if you weren't."

"Please don't leave again."

"Never."

By God, they were going to fucking try.

.

Shinji remembers the screaming.

Remembers seeing Masaki laying on the ground. Remembers Ichigo sobbing and clutching at her mother's corpse, begging her to wake up. It took two of them to pry the blood-soaked child off her mother. And it took another two hours for her to finally wear herself down and pass out in Mashiro's arms.

He also remembers the weeks that came after, where Isshin was more useless than usual. Where a nine-year old girl was forced to grow up too fast, pushing her trauma to the back of her mind in order to take care of twin girls because daddy was in his room too drunk to help out. He remembers it well.

But the one memory that will always haunt him, the one that fills him with the most regret, is the little girl cowering in the corner while her father loomed over her, arm pulled back ready to hit her, screaming, "YOU'RE FAULT! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU DID THIS!" and that after it happened, he listened to that damn shopkeeper with the stupid hat and walked away.

He walked away. They all walked away.

Not once did they just say the hell with it and try to worm their way back into Ichigo's life. They just left. Left her.

They should have taken her away with them.

.

"Ya don't have ta fight, ya know," Shinji tells her one day.

It's just the two of them, the others are still asleep.

"Of course I do," Ichigo says. "I have to fight."

Shinji squints at her. "Ya don't have ta do anythin'. It ain't your fight. Ya don't owe those Shinigami anythin'."

Ichigo is silent for a moment. "Maybe. Maybe I don't. But I...I have the power to save a lot of people. And if you have the power, why not use it to help? What kind of person would I be if I turned my back on the people that need me? I have a duty to protect people."

No. She has a duty to be a fucking kid. Not to run off and do the adult's dirty work for them. She has a duty to take care of herself, not sacrifice her existence for a world that doesn't give a shit. But that's not the kind of person Kurosaki Ichigo is.

"Besides, if anything happened to you guys and it could have been prevented if I had just done something instead of running and hiding, I would never forgive myself. You're too important to me, Onii-chan. I have to protect you."

"We should be protecting you. Not the other way around."

Ichigo tilts her head, like she doesn't understand what he just said. Like she's not used to people actively wanting to protect her and keep her safe. Yet that's all she does for the people around her, and never expects anything in return. And isn't that just tragic?

.

Moving into a regular home instead of staying in their warehouse is a no brainer.

The Soul Society is no longer hunting them down, so there's no need to hide in a drafty warehouse behind layers of protections in order to stay alive. They can live like normal people for once. And isn't that something? Them, having a normalish life for the first time in over 100 years.

They move as a group, seeing no need to separate after being together all this time. It would be weird to strike it out on their own and not have the others around. Not that any of them will admit to missing each other out loud, of course. They end up purchasing a traditional Japanese style house in the older part of Karakura Town. The neighbors homes are situated farther apart, which is great. They don't need the police called on them when they inevitably do something loud and obnoxious. And there is enough room for all nine of them to have their own space.

All nine of them.

While moving all their shit into their new place, they are careful to leave one room empty of everything except an extra bed, empty dresser, and a desk. Careful to leave space around the house for another person's stuff to collect. An empty spot at the door for another pair of shoes. An extra place at the table.

"Take care of her," Ukitake had told them that day.

"Yeah, because her so called friends certainly aren't up to the job," Shinji shot back, enjoying the guilty looks on their faces.

Like they needed Shinigami to tell them to look after Ichigo. Ichigo is one of them. Part of their little dysfunctional family.

They always take care of their own.