"It's been four days. Shouldn't she be staying awake for longer?" Maggie asked Hamilton, anxiously. Alex was definitely in a much place than she had been, but she couldn't stay awake for more than about 20 minutes at a time.

The doctor smiled kindly at Maggie. "She's doing well, considering. Her body has been through hell, detective. She's not going to get better overnight. But her fever is almost gone, now. She just needs to recover. Remember, she's passed all the cognitive tests we've been able to do – that's major. She just needs time, and some rehab," unconsciously, the doctor touched Alex's twisted hand.

"But she will be okay?" Maggie insisted.

"Apart from her hand and foot, she'll be as good as new. And we can work on those. There's every reason to hope that they can be fixed too, and she'll be back to the old Alex. But it will take time."

Maggie looked up to see Kara enter the room. She smiled at her.

"We got it all ready," Kara said, smiling. She knew that Alex hated being in the medical ward, even though it was a private room. So she had persuaded the doctor that Alex could be cared for in her own quarters. It had necessitated moving some of the monitors to the new accommodations, but Hamilton had been eager to grant the request. Not only did she want her patient to be more comfortable, but she wanted her family to be happy too. And Maggie had spent over a week sharing the hospital bed with her girlfriend, and there wasn't enough room for them to be comfortable.

"We'll move her next time she wakes up," Hamilton promised.

Maggie nodded agreement. Alex was still fragile, mentally as well as physically, and she didn't want her to be unnerved by waking in unfamiliar surroundings.

SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

"I hate these things," Alex grumbled, as Maggie settled her into a wheelchair.

"I suppose you'd rather walk?" Maggie teased gently.

Alex looked down at her twisted foot, and Maggie immediately felt terrible.

"Alex, I didn't mean … I'm sorry, I just ..."

Alex grasped Maggie's arm. "I know," she said, softly. "I know you didn't. And you're right," she forced a smile. "At least this way I'm getting away from here. No offense," she smiled at the nurse on duty. "You've all been great. But if I never see the inside of this room again, I'll be happy. It's okay, Mag."

Alex had had a lot of time to think. She had been forcing Maggie to take regular breaks, and during those times, she had pondered how terrible the situation had been – for Maggie and Kara, most of all. She felt guilty; she had not been aware of most of what was happening. But her two favorite people had sat, and watched, and seen her deteriorate, never able to be sure if the breath she was taking was going to be the last one.

Maggie's eyes were hollow, and she had lost weight. And her emotions were on a knife-edge, Alex knew that. As bad as she was feeling, she knew Maggie was feeling worse. This had been the biggest test of their relationship, their love, and Maggie had not faltered, not for one second.

So Alex had to remind herself of how lucky she was, and not dwell on those things that were wrong. It was hard. Her arm was bad enough, but her foot could mean that she would never walk properly again. So she gave herself a mental shake, and told herself that she would not succumb to self-pity, and she would work, as hard as she possibly could, to fix herself. She would not make Maggie, and Kara, suffer any more with selfish thoughts or behavior.

Once Alex was settled in bed in her quarters, she felt herself relax. She was in her own clothes – just a tee and sweat pants, but she felt almost human at last. And, tonight, she would be able to hold Maggie properly.

Maggie was fussing around, setting a pitcher of water by the bed. "What can I get you?" she asked Alex. "Do you need something to eat?"

Alex shook her head. She patted the bed next to her. "I'd like to hold you," she said.

Maggie readily complied. Alex's arms were not as strong as she was used to, but she was real, and warm, and she was getting better.

They stayed entwined for hours. Alex quickly fell to sleep, and Maggie just enjoyed lying next to her, feeling her breathe, loving it as Alex snuggled closer to her as she always did instinctively.

Alex awoke to the sight of Maggie, lying there, with a book balanced on Alex's hip. She grinned. "So I'm just a book stand now, right?"

Maggie's face lit up, as it did every time Alex awoke. She shrugged nonchalantly. "Gotta make the most of the tools available, Danvers," she teased. "You taught me that." She kissed her softly, and stroked her cheek. "What do you need?" she asked in a quiet voice.

Alex swallowed. She knew that Maggie found this as hard as she did. "Did you order those calipers?" she asked.

Maggie blanched. When Hamilton had told Alex that it might help her to retrain her foot if she were to use calipers and a walking frame, Alex's face had hardened, and she had refused to discuss it. Later, Alex had softened and told Maggie that she knew Hamilton was right, and that she would have to go along with it. She had begged Maggie for some time to consider things, and Maggie had agreed. She knew Alex would come around, and she didn't want to take away one iota of control from her.

Maggie shook her head. "We didn't reach an agreement. I didn't want to do anything without your okay."

Alex took her hand. "And I think that's one of the reasons I love you so much."

Maggie kissed her again.

"I'll call Hamilton. Get her to move ahead with … stuff," Alex said.

"I can do that," Maggie offered.

"I know. And I appreciate it. But I think it'll be easier for me, if I'm the one … I mean, then I'm more in control. I know that sounds dumb," Alex admitted.

"It doesn't sound dumb in the least. We're not going to do anything you're not 100% happy with, Alex."

"Are you in the mood to do some massage?" Alex held out her damaged hand.

"Always," Maggie carefully removed the velcroed brace, and tried not to react when the hand automatically returned to its claw shape. "You know I like to take any excuse to touch you."

"You don't ever need an excuse," Alex smiled, as she leant back on her pillows. She hated that she had no energy.

SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

"It's crazy out there," Kara grumbled. "Winn is driving me nuts. James thinks he's gonna save the world, dressed in that stupid suit of his. And J'onn is pissed, because the President keeps asking him to find out who Guardian is, and to get him to stop."

"I'm glad I'm stuck here," Alex smiled lightly. Both she and Kara knew that wasn't true, but Kara appreciated her efforts to be positive. And she had started telling Alex the truth about what was going on. For the first couple of days, Kara would only tell her that everything was great, and everyone was happy. But Alex told her, in no uncertain terms, that she knew that was bullshit, and she did not appreciate being treated like a child.

"How's it going, with all that?" Kara gestured to the corner of the room, which held the calipers and the walking frame.

"It's hard," Alex admitted. "Especially hard, because my hand makes using the frame more difficult. But Steve's great." Alex had been working with her rehab trainer for the past two days, and she was grateful that he didn't make a fuss about her poor physical condition. As far as he was concerned, she had issues that he could help with. He could tell that she had previously been in excellent shape, and he was determined that she would soon be back to that. He didn't mollycoddle her, but nor did he make her feel bad when she needed to rest.

"You're looking so much better," Kara told her sister. And it was true. Alex had regained a lot of the color in her face, which had been an awful sickly gray for far too long. And her positive mental attitude was doing a lot to help all of them.

The door opened, to admit Maggie, who was wreathed in smiles. "Hey Kara," Maggie said, as she hurried to Alex. She kissed Alex deeply, finally drawing back, with a wide grin on her face.

"What's made you so happy?" Alex laughed.

"You. And I have news. Great news," Maggie said.

"Spill," Alex demanded.

"We're going home! This afternoon. You don't need any more of this," she waved dismissively at the monitors that still recorded Alex's vitals through wireless sensors. "Hamilton says that, so long as we check your temp twice a day, and you swear to tell her if anything feels off, then we can go back to the apartment. You also have to promise to eat three meals a day."

Alex grimaced. She still hadn't regained much of an appetite, but if this was what was needed to get back to their own space, then she would do her very best.

"We have to come back in once a day, so you can work with Steve, but we can do that, right?" Maggie's eyes sparkled.

SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Maggie folded the wheelchair, and put it in the corner of the living room, with the calipers and the walking frame. Alex preferred not to use any of them in the apartment, instead relying on Maggie to help her to the bathroom, or the couch, or wherever she needed to go.

Maggie was taking a further two weeks' vacation time, so she could be with Alex full time. But Alex insisted that Maggie went for a run every morning – partly because she knew that Maggie needed a break, needed to get out and clear her head. But Alex, too, wanted to spend just an hour or so by herself.

Alex knew she was lucky, that Maggie was not the type to smother her. And Maggie had been fierce in ensuring that Alex's will was respected by everybody. Nobody made decisions for her. Nobody spoke for her. But she still mourned the loss of autonomy, which she prayed was only temporary.

Maggie realized what Alex was doing, so she had started to extend her runs – she often sat by the lake for a half hour, and she always stopped for coffee and bagels at Alex's favorite coffee shop, so that when she returned, she would have breakfast for her girlfriend.

Alex smiled when Maggie came in from her run. Alex was at the table, reading the paper. Maggie came over and kissed her. "Your coffee, madam," she teased, as she set the carrier on the table. "Got croissants today, for a change," she handed Alex the bag. "I'll be right back."

Maggie was back in under five minutes, showered and casually dressed in sweats. "Did you do you hand exercises?" Maggie wasn't nagging, she was just interested.

Alex nodded, her mouth full of coffee. She swallowed. "I was hoping maybe you'd be in the mood for a massage on my foot and leg some time today."

"Of course. Let's do it once after breakfast, and then before bed, okay?"

Alex smiled, and touched her hand appreciatively. She knew Maggie was keen to help, but she didn't want to take advantage of her.

SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

By the end of the first week home, both Alex and Maggie were exhausted. Alex was working flat out to improve her physical condition, but it was the emotional toll that was the hardest to take – and the same applied to Maggie. Both women were trying to be upbeat with each other, desperately trying to ensure that they didn't make a bad situation worse. They were both more worried about each other than they were about themselves.

Some mornings, Alex woke up feeling normal, and then a pull on her hand or her foot would remind her of her problems, and her heart would sink. She knew that it had only been a comparatively short time, but still the situation was frustrating. She also hated that Maggie clearly felt that she had to be cheerful for her.

Before she had been taken by Malverne, they were both able to communicate their frustrations – with the world, and sometimes even with each other. It was healthy, and they both felt that they had equal rights in the relationship. But now Alex started to feel as though Maggie thought she was fragile. And, she realized glumly, she supposed that she was, in a way. Prior to this whole nightmare, she had been in top shape, physically. She was strong, fit, taller than Maggie. She could even take on Supergirl, and she had trained most of the agents at the DEO, even Maggie. But now she needed a stick to walk. And Maggie was trying so hard to pretend that none of it mattered that they were communicating less and less about the things that impacted them both so much.

"Enjoy your run," Alex kissed Maggie softly. "And I want a triple shot this morning," she decided to make her coffee order a little stronger than usual. She was determined that today was going to be a good day. As Maggie left the apartment, though, Alex's composure fell. She could feel the tears pricking her eyes. She knew that Maggie still loved her, as much as she ever had. And she felt the same way about Maggie. But a small distance was developing between them. They were being too polite. And she hated that she felt … handicapped. That was the only word for it. They all hoped that it would only be temporary, but what if they were wrong? What would happen then? So much of her identity involved her role as a powerful woman. She was respected for her abilities, physical as well as mental.

Maggie had only got half way down the street when she realized that she had left her wallet behind. So she headed back to the apartment to pick it up. They had developed the morning routine, and Alex would be expecting her back in 90 minutes, with coffee and breakfast. By that time, Alex would be dressed and ready for the day.

Maggie let herself back into the apartment, expecting to hear the shower running. What she heard instead made her blood run cold. The sound of weeping coming from their bedroom was unmistakable. Alex so rarely cried, and she had kept her loss of control for when she knew Maggie would be absent.

Maggie hated it, but she decided to respect Alex's privacy. Her girlfriend was trying to hard to maintain a façade of positivity, so she didn't want her to know that she had been caught in a moment of weakness. So, with a heavy heart, she picked her wallet up from the side, and left the apartment quietly, before Alex realized she was there.

Maggie had only gotten to the elevator when she changed her mind. She couldn't leave Alex like that. She might be pissed that she had been discovered, but she was hurting. And Maggie couldn't leave her when she was hurting.

Maggie raced to the bedroom, and gathered Alex in her arms. She had feared that Alex might pull back, that she would be embarrassed that Maggie was there when she was feeling vulnerable. But Alex allowed herself to be comforted, and she clung tight to Maggie.

"Let it out, babe," Maggie whispered. She caressed her back as she held her. "Let it out. I'm here for you."

Alex wept for close to an hour, her whole body shuddering with the pent-up emotion. She remained wrapped in Maggie's arms. Finally, as she calmed, she lay on the bed, still clinging tight to Maggie. Maggie just whispered lovingly to her, running her hand through her hair. "'m sorry," Alex whispered, eventually.

"Don't be," Maggie said. "You needed that. I think maybe we needed it," she kissed Alex softly on the forehead. Alex looked up at her groggily.

"I think maybe we're being too … polite … with each other," Maggie stroked her back. "We're both kinda making out that it's all fine. That everything's going to be okay. And I think that's true. I truly believe that it will be okay – in the end. But it's not okay now, is it?"

Alex stared at her for a long moment. Then she shook her head.

"It's actually kinda crappy," Maggie went on, not relinquishing her hold on Alex. "You've got some real shit to deal with. And you're pretending that's okay. And I'm pretending that watching you go through that shit isn't hard. But it's not okay. Not for either of us. And we're not even talking about it."

Maggie felt Alex shudder with emotion again.

"So how about we talk about it? When something is really pissing you off, tell me. Yell at me. And I'll yell back. That bastard," she was suddenly icy with fury. "That bastard nearly killed my girlfriend. Twice. And she's hurt now. And I hate it. I hate that you are suffering. I hate that I keep remembering the things that you can't do. I can't ask you to throw me the phone, because one hand doesn't work, and you need the other one to balance because your foot is fucked. And I don't want to say any of that, because I don't want to hurt you. And then I remember that you are getting better, and I feel calmer. I also know that even if you don't get better, I still love you more every time I see you. That will never change. So we are going to be okay. Both of us. But we still have some shit to deal with."

Alex was smiling now. It wasn't often that Maggie would go into such a rant. She rolled on to her back, so that she was looking up at Maggie. She reached out with her uninjured hand, and touched Maggie's face. "I love it when you get all fierce," she said.

"You do know I love you?" Maggie needed reassurance.

Alex nodded. "I do know that. That's the one thing I do know. Well, that and that I know I love you. And I know you're right. This is a shitty situation. And we don't deserve it. And sometimes it makes me just so … goddamned mad. But you've been so amazing, it's not fair to take it out on you."

"But it's not fair to either of us to keep it in, either," Maggie reminded her gently. "Yell at me. Throw something. Curse. We don't curse enough," she said, teasingly. "We should curse more."

"Abso-fucking-lutely," Alex grinned. She put her hand to her head involuntarily.

"Headache?" Maggie could tell her from her eyes that her crying jag had given her a bad headache.

"It'll go soon," Alex tried to brush it off.

"Don't do that," Maggie said quietly. "You feel like shit. Own it," she gave a small, dimpled smile. "I can take it."

Alex smiled back. "You're right. I feel like shit."

"How about I run the tub? You can relax in there."

"How about we relax there together?" Alex countered.

"You drive a hard bargain, Danvers," Maggie teased her. She kissed her very softly.

SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Maggie looked up from the laptop. "I don't want you to get mad," she said. "But I'd really like you to look at this. If it's an awful idea, just tell me, and we can forget all about it. But it might help, Alex."

Alex sat at the computer. She scrolled down, clicked on a few links, and then sat back. "I'm not sure we can afford it," she said. Maggie had found a rehabilitation center, which offered an intensive program that lasted a month. It cost $25,000, was full on for six days a week with only Sunday to rest, and required the patient to live at the center. "And it's such a long way away, New York is the other side of the country."

"I could come visit once a week," Maggie said. "And I'll bet the DEO would pay. And if they don't, I can sell my bike. I hardly use it anyway."

"You are not selling that bike," Alex said, firmly.

"What do you think of the program?" Maggie persisted. They would find the money if necessary. They could probably manage it with their combined savings, they would just have to forget about the house they were saving for, for a couple of years. But if this worked, it would be so worth it. Alex needed to get back to where she was before. And if she couldn't, they both needed to know that at least they had tried everything.

"I think it looks great," Alex admitted. "But I hate the idea of being away from you for a month."

"I hate that too," Maggie agreed. "I'd have to see you every weekend."

"But you're not selling the bike," Alex said. "If any bike needs to be sold, it'll be mine."

"We'll argue about that once we've spoken to J'onn," Maggie said.

SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Alex was exhausted. She had been at the center for five days, and she had never worked so hard in her life. If she had thought that training with J'onn had been hard, she had been mistaken. This was hard. But the trainers were excellent and the facilities were state-of-the-art. And they had great counselors. She had taken Maggie's advice, and admitted to a certain degree of trepidation when it came to water therapy. So the trainers knew to take it slow with her in the pool to start with, and to ensure that she always felt safe.

Alex missed Maggie the most at night. During the days, she was too busy. But the bed in her – admittedly well-appointed and spacious – room at the center was too large without her small detective. She couldn't wait until Saturday evening. She had tried to dissuade Maggie from flying that distance every week, but Maggie refused to listen, and for that, Alex was grateful. She was even more grateful that Maggie had booked a hotel near the center, so they could spend Saturday night and all of Sunday together, away from the center. Even better, J'onn had insisted that the DEO would cover all expenses, including the flights and hotel, as well as the rehab program, so there were no financial concerns.

That first weekend with Maggie was like it was at the very beginning of their relationship. They both felt renewed, refreshed, and relieved to see each other. Maggie had missed Alex every bit as much as Alex had missed her. They Skyped every morning and evening, but it wasn't the same. Seeing Maggie's face when she came to collect her from the center that first time was an image Alex would never forget.

SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Six months later

"It's dumb," Maggie was impatient as she pulled at her uniform collar. "I mean, I don't deserve this. I just did my job. It's what they pay me for."

"You are getting an award for valor," Kara said to her, batting away Maggie's hand, as she fixed her tie. "That's not nothing. You saved that kid. You deserve this, Detective Sawyer. And you look great in uniform," she teased. "Alex won't be able to contain herself."

"Kara!" Maggie was mortified. She was particularly mortified, because she knew it was true. Alex had only seen her in uniform once before, and she had been almost drooling. The night that had followed had been memorable.

"Where is she, anyway?" Kara demanded. "Shouldn't she be here by now?"

"She's on her way. Something about alien DNA, I wasn't really listening properly," Maggie admitted. She was nervous as hell. She hated any form of ceremony, and this was even worse, as she was going to be the center of attention.

"Don't let her hear you say that," Kara chuckled. "Alex thinks you listen to every scientific explanation she comes up with."

Maggie laughed. "I try. But sometimes..."

"Oh Rao, I know," Kara laughed. "She thinks everyone loves science as much as she does. All those science fairs when I was a kid."

Alex slipped into the back of the auditorium just before the ceremony began. She sidled closer to the front, and slid in next to Kara on the fourth row. Kara's smile was wide and welcoming. She knew that Alex would be there for Maggie.

Kara grinned as she watched Alex applauding with gusto. Alex was so proud of her girlfriend.

SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

"It's a while since I've been in a cop bar," Alex smiled as she set down their beers. She took Maggie's hand. "I'm so proud of you, Maggie."

Maggie shrugged. "I don't know why there's such a fuss."

"I do. My girlfriend is the smartest, bravest cop in the NCPD. And she looks kinda hot in that uniform too," Alex grinned.

Maggie laughed, and pulled Alex in for a deep kiss. She took off her hat, and set it on Alex's head. "We don't have to stay for long. I have plans for you at home," Maggie removed her tie.

Alex's eyes widened. She knew exactly what Maggie was thinking. "Leave after an hour?"

"30 minutes," Maggie bargained.

Alex nodded. She remembered something. She got her phone out of her pocket. She passed it to Maggie. "I got an email this morning," Alex smiled. "Thought you might like to see it. Third email down."

Maggie scrolled down, and her eyes lit up as she read:

From:hrdeptdeo

To:adanversdeo

Re: fitness to practise

Dear Agent Danvers,

We are pleased to confirm that, further to advice from medical practitioners and stringent physical tests, you are now cleared to return to work in a full capacity, with no restrictions.

Sincerely,

P. Coulter

Head of Human Resources

Maggie thought she might explode with joy. "We're leaving now," she declared. She stood up, swallowed her beer in one, seized Alex's hand and headed for the door. "Sorry, guys," she called over her shoulder. "There's something I need to do."

SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Maggie flopped over on to her back, breathing heavily. Every nerve ending was zinging. She couldn't remember ever being this happy. She smiled as Alex pulled herself up and flopped beside her, a shit-eating grin on her face. "Well, Agent Danvers," she said when she had caught her breath. "I am pleased to report that your fine motor function is just … fine," she laughed.

Alex smiled, smugly.

Maggie turned to her side, and seized Alex's hand. She turned it between her own, and caressed it softly. "You've been amazing. You worked so hard. You can't even tell you had a problem."

Alex smiled. "It still messes around a little. When I'm tired. But I'm okay now. Thanks to you."

Maggie shook her head. "It's due to your hard work."

Alex cupped her face. "I wouldn't have made it this far on my own. You've been with me, every step of the way. I love you so much, Maggie Sawyer."

"And I love you, Alex Danvers," Maggie blinked away the tears.