CHAPTER 1:

DISCLAIMER

Anything that you recognise is from the brilliant authors of Criminal Minds, particularly Jeff Davis.

And anything you otherwise recognise is from the magnificent JK Rowling.

I admit to having read bookworm4life0812 and keelhauserose and Seriously Orion Wicked fanfics. And that I was inspired by them.

The rest is me just goofing around.

MOVING ON FORWARD

It was one of those bright sunny days, those days we rarely see in England, where everything seemed possible.

The mass of people did not, for once, seem frightening to Hermione, on the contrary she relished in the view of all her classmates and professors gathering to commence a ceremony that will finally launch them unto the world as fully fledged adults. The ceremony where she would finally get her last diploma: her PDH in criminal science.

But this view was bitter sweet, for she has no parents attending on what should be her day; she has but a few friends from Hogwarts gathered in a circle waiting for her by the corridor. But having already cried herself to sleep last night thinking about the parents that do not remember her, she just tries to smile.

It seems like it was only yesterday, and yet it was four years ago, that Harry and her went back to Australia. She painfully remembers the awkwardness of wanting to throw herself in their arms, only to have them look at her with curious yet reserved faces that showed nothing more than polite interest. When the spell did not work the first time she told herself that she was stressed and took a minute to collect herself. When the spell did not work the second time she started to feel her eyes stinging with the tears that were threatening to come out, but she ignored it and went on. When the spell did not work a third time she felt Harry's hand on her arm, lowering a wand. That is when she had to acknowledge that her perfectly outlined plan was flawed…

She had never imagined that she would not be able to reverse the spell. She had foolishly thought that everything would be alright: after all did they not defeat the very embodiment of Evil? Did they not have suffered enough to come to this point? Why couldn't it be perfect for once?

But in that moment, when Harry lowered her arm, it felt like the air had left her body, like she was just a solid mass of lead. Had it not been for the man she considered her brother she would have surely hit her head on the floor, but Harry took her in his harm and slowly sank to the floor with her, drying the tears that had already started to flow. Those traitorous tears that did not seem to stop.

Hermione shook her head to clear it form the memory, she told herself that enough was enough, and that crying now was pointless. Nobody wanted to hear about her pain now, sh was supposed to celebrate! that was what one does when one graduates College!

Searching intently through the crowd and not just looking past the faces like she has done previously, Hermione soon recognised a group of people, her people: Harry stood there with his hair still completely messy like he just came out of bed, next to him his radiant wife was laughing loudly at what her read-headed prankster of a brother told her. It had been hard for George to smile and laugh again and in the first years it had seemed impossible, but Angelina Johnson, his childhood crush and dear friend, had helped soothe the pain a little so that living became bearable again.

Next to them was a group of respected adults that Hermione was proud to call friends. Remus, with whom she had gotten very close in this past couple of years, was the only one looking at her. His smile was a familiar yet always appreciated one. It was the smile he gave her when the became so entranced in describing a book that her all body shook with passion, the smile he gave her when only the two of them understood a joke made because it concerned a book that the others had never heard of. Remus was talking to her favourite professor, Minerva, for the witch had decided that she would not respond to Hermione's letters if she did not start addressing her as such, who seemed to smile fondly at what Remus was telling her. Mr and Mrs Weasley were there talking to a very pregnant Tonks, who held a six-year-old Teddy by the hand as he pulled to get closer to his godfather.

Hermione approached the group slowly as Remus disentangled himself from Minerva and made his way to his friend. For that was what Hermione was to him : a very close friend, dare he say a daughter. After returning from Australia with Harry Hermione had shut herself from everyone, especially her young friends who could not really understand her pain, as the war had ended a year prior. Only George could have, but he was already so detached from the realities of the world and grieving that Hermione did not seek to had to his burden by talking about her pain.

This same pain was the reason why her relationship with Ron did not work out. As much as everyone was thrilled about them finally acknowledging their feelings to one another, Ron could not be there for her. She did not really blame him; he was still grieving for his brother. But she resented the fact that he demanded that she help him with his pain when she so obviously had her own to deal with. Before going to Australia to search for her parents Hermione had allowed Ron to rely on her because she though he needed it more then her, and that she was strong. But upon her return he expected the same of her, and while she loved him, his disregard to her feelings hurt her. She knew that he did not mean to spite her, but his vision of what a girlfriend should be was flawed and diminishing. He expected her to be there for him, while he protected her - never mind the fact that she was stronger than him - but he did not seem to think that he should be there for her to also confide her feelings. This made Hermione seek comfort elsewhere and because Harry has his own demons to battle and a very lovely girlfriend to enjoy, she went to Remus.

Remus who took the time to acknowledge her pain and give her a quite support. Being in his presence was soothing and she soon spent so much time in Tonk's and Remus' cottage that they asked her to move out of the Burrow to spend time with them and be with her grandson, whom she adored. Teddy brought joy everywhere he went and lessened some burdens. She accepted readily.

But she had not anticipated the reaction Ron had to the news, and in retrospect Hermione considered that she never should have started the conversation in the living-room. He, at first, was stunned into silence as he listened to her talking about living at the cottage, alone, then he started to tell her in a broken voice that she was leaving him alone to deal with his grief. When Hermione negated that statement by saying that she would be there for him everyday if he needed her and started to argue that if that was the case she did not need to leave. At this point his voice had risen and Harry, Ginny and George had came down to see what the problem was. But Hermione was unaware of the audience and started to explain to Ron that ever since her return she had not been allowed to grieve and that leaving at the cottage would be her way to deal with what happened to her. But Ron told her that she was selfish and thinking only about herself ! Hermione laughed at that statement because she could not believe HE was calling her selfish ! She tried to calm down and explain to Ron that he had been the only one allowed to grieve since the beginning and that he never asked her if she was alright.

And that is when Hermione realised how much their couple was doomed to a disaster from the start : Ron responded to her that her ROLE as his girlfriend was to allow him to grieve and be there for him! She realised in that moment that Ron expected her to be exactly like his mother: to allow him to discharge and be comforted but never the opposite. At this realisation Hermione took a deep breath, a step back - physically and metaphorically - and told Ron that even though it pained her, if that was the way he viewed her role in the relationship then it has no chance to survive and that it was better to just end it now.

She now remembers very well how it went:

- "End it?" exclaimed Ron, startled.

- "Yes Ron, end it. We clearly do not want the same thing out of this. I though you wanted a partner, an equal who would work by your side, but clearly you want a girlfriend who will submit to your desires!" She yelled. And only when Hermione had finished to say this that she turned around and realised that they had an audience.

- "That is not true!" Said Ron, trying to placate her. "I just want you to be there for me and not go on and on about your problems!"

- "My problems? My problems Ron is that my parents are as good as dead to me! That is as much painful as the fact that Fred is dead, and I am also sad about his death! You do not get to minimise my grief!"

At this point Harry decided to intervene:

- "Guys, calm down, you are going to wake up Mrs Weasley!" Then he turned to Ron and said in a calm normal voice, as if talking to a spooked animal: " Hermione has a point Ron, you do not let her talk about anything that only concerns her! It is always about you or your relationship!"

At this point Ron had turned red, angry and ashamed to be put on the spot.

- "Oh ! That is right take her defence, like you always do! It is always the two of you against me isn't it?".

Hermione and Harry exhaled at once and saw that everyone in the room was looking at them confused.

But Ron went on:

- " What really went on in that tent ? Did you two do it? Is that why you do not want to have sex with me Hermione? Because you are afraid I will find out you are not a virgin?"

At that point Harry was red with anger and Hermione with shame! How dare he say such a thing! And in front of everyone!

But Mr Weasley intervened in their favour, as George and Ginny were also about to speak their minds. He took Ron by the shoulders and directed him out of the house and into the garden. He then proceeded to tell his son that if he did not sort out his priorities then he would find himself friendless and that he was ashamed of him.

By that point Hermione had had enough, she turned to Harry and said:

"When he comes through you can tell him that he and I are over!"

Then her body seemed to deflate and looking at Ginny and George, she sees the concerned and ashamed expressions on their faces, like their brother's reaction would affect her friendship with them. Exhausted and still angry Hermione just smiled at them. She then grabbed her book and took the floo network to the cottage.

Remus and Hermione talked while walking back to the group where Hermione was hugged by everyone and congratulated for her work.

The ceremony took place but Hermione felt a strange sense of detachment from it all, like it was happening to another her, a happier version of her, unburdened by grief.

At the end of the day Hermione smiled and politely listen to the conversations, but her friends had left to bring the children to bed, as Harry and Ginny were married and had a seven month old baby, that a friend was babysitting. Remus stayed behind while Tonks had left but Hermione told him to go see his wife and wished him a pleasant night. Before leaving he invited her to a dinner next week-end, Hermione agreed, without paying much though to it, but knowing she would not be there.

Because her letter burning a hole in her pocket offered her a different sort of future. A future that sent her far away from the people she new and loved, but also away from the grief she was still feeling after all this time.

A grief that seemed to separate her from the others, in a way even her intelligence had never done. And that made her feel so very alone!

AN:

I know some of you like Ron, and while I do not particularly like him i don't detest him either. But I find the couple Ron/Hermione improbable and illogical. And I do find Ron to be too self-centred.

On another note I think this story could be about 40 chapters or so. We'll see.

Let me know what you think of it, reviews are appreciated. Especially since this is my first fanfic.

And English isn't my first language so if you see any mistakes please do point them out!