A/N: Thanks for the comments. Anna - thank you! Despite the angst I'll always try to inject a little humour.
As Kara flew into her apartment she was going to text Alex to let her know she was back when she realised her battery was dead. Frowning she looked for a charger when she heard a knocking.
Assuming it was Alex she was about to open up, only to show caution at the last minute and check who it was. Surprised she quickly changed out of her Supergirl costume before answering.
"Lena? What are you doing here?" Kara asked opening the door.
"I was looking for you. Do you want me to go?"Lena asked awkwardly.
"Sorry no. Of course not. Come in. I just didn't think you were around. I mean I wasn't expecting you."
"I'm sorry." Lena said stepping into the apartment.
"For what?" Kara asked confused.
"You are literally my only friend in the city. You have never judged me based on my name. And I repaid that by being responsible for making this planet uninhabitable for your boyfriend. I was so scared that you would blame me and hate me I've been avoiding you and ended up abandoning you when you needed a friend."
"Lena, the bomb saved the planet. And you gave the trigger to Supergirl. You gave her every chance to find a solution. Ultimately it was her who detonated the bomb, not you." Kara argued.
"I'm still sorry. And I'm sorry I've not been there for you."
"I've not exactly been good company so you did well being away." Kara shrugged.
"I'm really sorry." Lena repeated. "And I know this won't make up for it, but it is a small gift for you." She said handing a bag over to Kara.
"Potstickers? My hero." Kara smiled.
"I think you may need to raise the bar on hero definition." Lena said. "They are just potstickers."
"There is no 'just' when it comes to potstickers." Kara said as she sat next to Lena and offered her one. "Not that I am not really happy to see you, but why are you here?"
"Well, I had a surprise visitor in my office the other day, who pointed out I had been acting like a Luthor."
"Who?" Kara asked confused as she ate a potsticker.
"Cat Grant."
"Cat?" Kara asked eyes wide. "Why?"
"I think she was worried about about you."
"I'm sorry if she said something out of line." Kara said trying to imagine how the discussion went down.
"She didn't." Lena said. "She just pointed out that I was being selfish and a bad friend."
"No-" Kara started.
"After Jack, even when I avoided you, which I did, you went out of your way to check up on me. Even when your other commitments kept you busy you still found time to check up on me later. But I abandoned you to deal with the loss of Mike alone."
"I could have come and asked for help." Kara shrugged.
"You have taught me that part of being a friend is giving help even when it is not asked for." Lena said as there was another knock on the door. "Sorry you have plans. I should go."
"Please don't. I have no plans." Kara said as she moved to the door. "It will just be Alex."
"Alex, what are you doing here?" Kara asked opening the door.
"Your phone was off." Alex said.
"Yeah, the battery died. I forgot to recharge it and then Lena came."
"Lena?" Alex asked looking past Kara and seeing the CEO who waved.
"Yes." Kara said.
"You sure you're okay?"
"I am. Really I'm fine. So please go spend the evening with Maggie."
"Okay, I'll leave you to it. Charge your phone." Alex ordered leaving.
"Have I missed something?" Lena asked when Kara walked back to her. "She seemed a little…"
"Over protective?" Kara finished for her.
"Yes."
"Things got a little rough and I did something really stupid. Alex is worried I'm going to fall again so is keeping tabs on me."
"What did you do? Rob a pizza joint?" Lena joked.
"I wish. I kind of did drugs."
"You?" Lena asked eyes wide.
"Yes. And they made me say some really bad things to Alex and now she blames herself and is trying to put her life on hold for me, again."
"We have a lot of catching up to do." Lena said.
"Tonight can we just settle on a movie?" Kara asked.
"Of course." Lena said. "Whatever you need."
"Thanks." Kara smiled as she selected a movie. Just as it was about to start she asked.
"When did the pain with Jack go away?"
"I'll let you know." Lena said.
-00-
"Don't hover. Either come in and sit or go harass Snapper." Cat said without looking up.
Silently Kara shut the door and went and sat down on the couch and waited for Cat to finish what she was doing. Finally Cat looked up and commented.
"You are looking better. I assume the time you spent with your foster mother helped?"
"It did. It helped me process. Eliza has always had a way of making me feel loved."
"I sense a but."
"No, not really. She just also made me realise there was no quick fix. And she thinks I need purpose."
"Do you agree with that assessment?" Cat asked.
"I was sent to Earth to look after my cousin. But due my pod going off course he had already grown up by the time I arrived. He never needed me. I guess I have never really filled that void. I mean recently I assumed being Supergirl was that purpose, but Eliza thinks it is a job."
"Being Supergirl, saving the world is noble, but it is not a purpose, it is a means to a purpose. Start small. With something you can control."
"Any advice on how to find purpose?"
"That Kara, is the age old question. I tried living in a yurt, I wouldn't recommend it. But you'll figure it out."
"Ms Grant the board have arrived they are in the meeting room." Eve said entering the office. "Oh hi Kara, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."
"Then I also assume you don't plan on standing around gossiping." Cat said.
"Right. Sorry." Eve said leaving again as Kara stood.
"Something else on your mind?" Cat asked as she collected her papers.
"Just thank you." Kara said.
"For what?"
"Everything. And talking to Lena."
"Telling the great and the good they are idiots is something I enjoy." Cat shrugged before adding. "But if you want to get somewhere in this world you need to learn to do that yourself." As they walked out of the office she added. "Don't forget our weekly meeting tomorrow."
-00-
"Where's Maggie?" Kara asked as she entered Alex's apartment that evening.
"Giving us some space."
"She doesn't have to avoid me." Kara said.
"I know. But do you want vegan pizza or vegan ice cream?"
"No."
"Then be grateful she's giving us space as that's what she was going to serve."
"Next movie night at my place." Kara said.
"That won't save you." Alex warned.
"You need to train her better." Kara replied.
"Because I love you I will not tell her you said that." Alex said. "So how are you doing? Say fine and I will order vegan pizza myself."
"I thought I was doing better."
"But?"
"I don't know. It's just felt like a bit of a rollercoaster today, well this afternoon anyway."
"Because of the shrink?" Alex guessed.
"And J'onn's meditation."
"How'd that go?"
"Not so good." Kara confessed.
"What happened?"
"I got kind of bored, then hungry."
"I think you are meant to contemplate life not your stomach." Alex pointed out.
"I tried that. I didn't like my contemplations."
"Why?"
"I have always believed that my mother put me in that pod so I could look after Kal. After I arrived and it was obvious he didn't need looking after, you all tried to make me feel better telling me that my mother wanted me to survive and be loved and be happy. I tried to believe you. But after Mon-El I guess I started to believe the real reason I was sent here, the only reason, was to look after at Kal. And even if he doesn't think he needs my protection that is still my job. Dating Mon-El, having a life was just getting in the way."
"So you think what happened was the Universe trying to get you to go back to protecting Clark?"
"It's what it feels like."
"Do you know what I think?" Alex asked.
"That I'm an idiot?" Kara guessed.
"Apart from that."
"What?"
"That you feel guilty for kicking Clark's ass and have weaved that into your Universe conspiracy theory."
"Have you been talking to the DEO shrink about me?"
"No. Why?"
"They had a similar theory."
"Not sure how I feel about having the same theories as a shrink." Alex mused.
"Amount of time you spend in with them, is it surprising you share theories?" Kara asked.
"I'm going to ignore that comment." Alex said before asking.
"Did they have any useful insights?"
"Not sure, but they gave me plenty to think about." Kara replied.
"Well I'm here whenever you want to talk."
"I appreciate that, and I do need something."
"Anything."
"I know I have given you plenty of reason not to, but I need you to trust in me." Kara said.
"I do."
"No you don't. You are shadowing me and trying to spend every evening with me and I love you for it. But you don't have to."
"I know that."
"I'm not sure you do. I want to spend time with you, but not at the expense of your happiness. I promise I will come to you on bad days, but there are times I need to process by myself."
"That's how you got into this mess." Alex reminded her.
"That's because I had convinced myself I had no choice but to go it alone. But I know better now. And I won't lie, it is hard seeing couples being happy. But it is harder seeing you making another sacrifice for me." Kara said. For a minute Alex remained silent until she finally said.
"I will stop shadowing you on two conditions."
"Which are?"
"You promise you'll talk to me if things get bad. You call at any time."
"Done. And the second?"
"Every Friday night we have a sisters' night."
"Okay." Kara said.
"But if I think you're slipping, I will move in with you." Alex warned.
"And if I think you are shadowing I will tell Maggie who your favourite band was in junior high. Because even though Eliza can't remember, I can." Kara smiled.
"You wouldn't. You know I can share far more embarrassing stories about you with Lena...and Cat."
"The difference is they expect that from me. Maggie would never expect that you used to go round signing the greatest hits of-"
"Okay. Fine. You win. I will tone down the protectiveness." Alex said.
"Thank you."
"You know I only do it because I love you?"
"I know." Kara said hugging her. "I love you too."
The End
A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoyed it.