"Falling slowly, eyes that know me

And I can't go back

Moods that take me and erase me

And I'm painted black

You have suffered enough

And warred with yourself

It's time that you won"

~ Falling Slowly

Charming, California. I hadn't been back in nearly five years and nothing seemed to have changed, at least on the outside. It was the same small, sleepy town I grew up in. It was as if time froze solid while I had been away at art school in New York. If anything had changed it's me; I was not the same naïve girl. I no longer lived in the bubble that had always shielded me. I learned that my family could not always protect me. I missed them so much, especially my Dad. He had always been my rock; the one I could always count on throughout my life. I needed him more than ever but I couldn't risk telling him. Just having him near would help, at least I hoped.

I pulled my rental car into a parking spot at Teller-Morrow and took a quick glance at the row of motorcycles, hoping to catch a glance of my dad's Harley. Oh, who was I kidding? I had no clue which bike was his; he had told me a while ago he was in the market for a new Harley. So, I was sure he must have gotten an upgrade by that point. Looking was really, more out of habit than anything; before I left I could have named everyone who was at the clubhouse just by the bikes that were parked outside. Now, I had no clue.

As I looked in the mirror, I realized that I was probably going to get shit for my teal hair and septum piercing but I could've done a lot worse to my body or with my life. I could have dropped out of college and became a junky or could have whored myself out like one of the croweaters. Hell, my dad never would have allowed me to do that and I could always remove my piercing and dye my hair back to its natural golden brown color. Still, worry was written across my face.

The warm air hit me hard as I got out of the rental. I hadn't realized how much I missed the hot, aridness of the desert. A deep breath filled my lungs, it was so refreshing; the cleansing familiarity of the air washed away all my worries. This was the air I grew up with, this was home. I took one more refreshing breath for good measures before I made my way to the open garage.

He was like a magnet; I was instantly drawn to him and his lean, muscular stature. He was staring intently under the hood of a car with his back to me. I would have recognized him anywhere. Jackson Teller had become my muse during my time in New York, especially when I was having a bad day. I could sketch any of the Sons from memory but I remembered Jax's contours and features the best, even better than my dad. I started to make my way towards him but I was stopped by an employee of Teller Morrow, who I didn't know.

"Can I help you?" The man asked.

I studied him briefly, he wasn't bad on the eyes. He had a slim but muscular body and sandy blond hair. His eyes were bright blue and full of life. He looked like he was a happy man.

"I am looking for Bobby, is he here?" I asked, allowing my eyes to drift past him to Jax, whose attention had turned to us. His eyes locked with mine and he gave me a questioning smile, I could tell it dawned on him who I was.

"Um. No… he's not here now. I think he'll be back tonight for the party." The man stuttered. "You can always come back then."

I nodded. He had no clue who I was, I could have some fun. "Oh…okay. Maybe I will. I mean if you're sure Bobby is going to be there." I was pretty sure that this guy thought I was some piece of ass looking to get tapped. "Is the party here in the garage?" I smirked over at Jax, who raised an eyebrow at me. I was sure he knew I was up to no good. I had always been a bit of a tease and trouble maker when it to guys.

"Oh, no. It's in the clubhouse over there." He pointed at SAMCRO's clubhouse. It still looked the same as I remembered. Like I said frozen in time.

"Alright, well maybe I will see you tonight. Thank you…." I paused waiting for the man's name.

"Half-Sack, I mean Kip." He ran his hand through his already messy hair.

"Well, what is it, Half-Sack or Kip?" I quipped; knowing that the club occasionally gave their members nicknames. Just before I had left to go to New York the prospect at the time earned himself the nickname of Juice, which was far better than calling him Juan Carlos all the time. I immediately wondered if Juice had made it full fledge or if he was let go. He was a nice guy, he often let me sketch him; I really liked his smile. If there was one thing I had learned it was nice guys normally didn't make it far with SAMCRO.

"Um…" Kip or Half-Sack or whatever his name was started.

"Prospect, aren't you supposed to be picking up that car at the impound?" Jax hollered at Half-Sack, who had turned to look at him.

I knew it. He was a prospect.

The prospect ran his hand through his hair again before turning back to me. "I'll see you tonight then." He ran towards the tow truck and waved as he drove off.

I couldn't help but shake my head and smile. He was such an enthusiastic prospect. At least he had that going for him. It made me wonder if he was that eager in the sack. Hell, I would probably never find out, he would find out I am a member's daughter and that would be enough to scare him off. That tended to be the reaction of the prospects and the other members of the club. I was off-limits because I was a patch member's daughter. At least I could watch him squirm a bit when he found out who I was. I almost felt bad, wait…no, I didn't.

"Nora, how you doing sweetheart?" Jax's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

His proximity made my stomach flip. "Hey, Jackson." I turned to face him. "I'm good, now that I am home," I admitted. "What about you, Jax? How are you?"

"Oh, you know same old shit, different day." He smiled. "Your dad, know your home?"

Shit, that smile. That smile that made me weak in my knees.

"No, I wanted to surprise him." I smiled.

Jax opened his mouth to say more but he was interrupted by the ringing of my cell. I frowned as I pulled it out of my bag and glance at the caller. It was from Rose.

"I'm sorry Jax, I need to take this call. I'll see you tonight." I quickly turned with no further explanation and I made my way towards my car to find out what was going on with Rose. No need for them to find out what was going on. I hoped now that I was home, New York would stay in New York.

I couldn't shake Rose's call as I got ready for the party. It had put me on edge and made my dream of a happy homecoming dreary. I was, however, glad that I had left New York when I did; it was the best decision I had made in ages. I really hoped that my mistakes didn't bleed into my life in Charming because nothing good would come from it. I took a long drink of beer as I tried to push the thoughts of my past mistakes out of my mind.

Instead of continuing to dwell on things that I couldn't change, I let my mind wander to Jax. The last time I had seen him things were slightly awkward between us. I had a little too much to drink at my going away party and confessed my feelings to him. I couldn't remember much from that night but that was one VERY vivid part of the evening. After I had spilled my guts to Jax, we kissed. It would have been great had all the alcohol I had drank decided to make a reappearance if you catch my drift. That was the last thing I remembered until I woke up the next morning alone with a raging hangover in Jax's dorm room. I was not planning on vomiting at this party. I was going to try to limit the amount I drank but I really needed to relax a bit and forget. My nerves were on high alert after everything that happened back in New York City.

I looked at myself in the mirror, the teal haired girl staring back at me was not the same one who was in there the last time I set foot in my childhood home. I am sure my life had not changed for the better albeit, I was stronger for everything that had happened. I was no longer the girl with a flowery outlook on life; I had found out that life was not just rainbow and butterflies and that my family's influence couldn't always save me. I had learned quickly who I was without the club and its protection. I didn't always like the girl I had become. Sometimes life was just easier when you lived in a bubble surrounded by a whole clubhouse of big, bad, overprotective bikers. I would have told that stupid naïve girl that too if I had met her.

The parking lot was full when I finally pulled up to SAMCROs clubhouse. For some reason, I was a bundle of nerves as I got out of her rental. It was strange because I had always felt at home at the clubhouse; I had grown up there. I had always referred to most of the members and their old ladies as my uncles and aunts. There was no reason for me to be so anxious about walking through the familiar doors again. As I reached the door there were a few catcalls from some of the men sitting outside. Some things never changed, they see a new piece of ass and they try to get her attention and hope that she wasn't a prude or worse yet just a tease.

The clubhouse smelled just as I remembered; to some, it might smell off but to me, it was the smell of my childhood. My eyes searched the crowd of men and women looking for the one face I wanted to see, more than anyone else. It wasn't hard to find him with his large stature and curly brown hair. He was standing with his back to me talking to Clay and Tig. I watched him talk exuberantly for a few seconds before walking over and tapping him on the back. He turned and I flung myself into him before he knew what was happening.

"Nori?" He wrapped his arms around me, I finally felt safe. Tears welled up in my eyes; I wasn't a crier, I hope I wasn't getting softer in my old age. I must have missed my dad more than I had realized. I was being held out at arm's length as Dad took a closer look at me. "When did you get back? I thought graduation was a few weeks away."

I was about to answer him but was interrupted by the exuberant prospect. "This was the one I was telling you about Bobby." His voice was full of excitement.

"Prospect, this is…" My dad started but I shook my head at him. He raised an all-knowing eyebrow, I was up to my old tricks. Somethings never changed. I had always enjoyed giving the prospects a hard time; it must have been the sadistic part of me that enjoyed seeing them squirm.

"I want to know what he told you," I smirked as I slowly said the next part. "Daddy."

The color left Half-Sack's face and he swallowed slowly. "I…um…" He stuttered. He really had stuck his foot in his mouth. I later found out he had told my dad that a sexy, little thing with a tight body was looking for him today.

"What's wrong prospect? Cat got your tongue?" Dad laughed. "You not going to tell my daughter, what you said you would do to her if you ever saw her again?"

"No. I…" Sack's face paled as he turned quickly and made his way back behind the bar.

"I have never seen the prospect speechless. Leave it to you, Nora." Clay said as he put his arm around me and hugged me to him. "Welcome home, sweetheart."

"What can I say, Uncle Clay. I have a way with men." I smiled up at him. "And I am so happy to be home." I was glad that they were treating me the same.

"Have enough of the Big Apple?" Clay asked.

I snorted, "Yeah, you could say that." Truth be told, I loved New York and the East Coast, it was a refreshing change from Charming. And if I wanted to get anywhere in the fashion world, I would have stayed on the east coast but things just got too complicated, too messy, and far too intense for me to deal with. So, I decided to make my way back to Charming. "I didn't really care about walking in the graduation ceremony. I mean you guys weren't going to be there. I have my degree either way. Since I wasn't walking I decided to come home early and surprise you all." Little did I know my dad was planning on coming to see me walk. He had already purchased his non-refundable ticket. I was a shitty daughter.

"Nora what did you do to your hair?" He plucked a strand of my hair and acted as if he were examining it. He has something on his mind, I could read it in his eyes. I wanted to tell him to just spit it out but I refrained.

I swatted my dad's hand away. "I needed a change." Was the only explanation I allowed him. "Speaking of need. I NEED a drink!" I pointed to the bar as I hastily took my exit. A quick sigh of relief escaped my lips, I didn't want to risk any having anyone ask me any more questions about New York. I was liable to spill my guts, especially to my dad.

Half-Sack eyed me leerily, "So…you're Bobby's daughter."

"Guilty." An innocent smile crossed my lips as I climbed up onto a stool, sitting on my knees so I could lean over the bar. "Not something I normally need to tell people around here."

"You let me act like a fool. I told your dad some stupid shit." Sack admitted quietly as he leaned close to me. He smelt good, like shampoo and cologne.

The poor prospect was embarrassed. He looked like a poor little lost puppy, who had been kicked a few times. "I'm sorry that you embarrassed yourself in front of my dad. Don't worry though you aren't the first prospect to stick your foot in your mouth around my dad. Juice smacked my ass thinking I was a croweater, in front of my dad. At least you have an excuse, you have never met me, he had."

Poor Juice, I thought as I remembered that night. I was playing a game of pool with Jax when Juice planted a firm smack on my behind, it stung. My dad swiftly rectified the situation. Juice knew better after that to lay a hand on Bobby's 17-year-old daughter after that. In Juice's defense, I was dressed a bit too provocatively for a teenager. I was going through my dress like a croweater phase. I may have acted a bit too much like them at that point in my life as well. Don't get me wrong I still liked to flirt…a lot and occasionally had one night stands; I never considered herself a slut or someone who could be passed around from guy to guy, that was the difference between a croweater and myself. I was selective, they well were not.

"Listen, my dad is easy to forgive so don't worry about it okay." I tried to reassure the prospect. "If he forgave Juice, he can forgive you. Unless of course, I don't forgive you, then…" I smirked. "well, you're screwed."

Half-Sack stared at me for a moment before saying, "Nora, I am sorry for what I said."

"No, you aren't, you're just sorry you got caught." I teased. "I'll forgive you if you let me make a drink." I quickly hopped off the stool and made my way behind the bar. It wasn't often I was allowed behind the bar. The last time I was back there was my going away party.

Sack stepped away from the bar, "By all means." He smiled, ease washed over him.

"Oh, and you need to drink whatever I make." I started grabbing bottles from the shelves and placing them on the bar. Finally, I grabbed a sleek metal shaker and started to fill it with each of the different liquors.

"Impressive. Where'd you learn to shake like that?" A familiar voice startled me, I quickly turned to see Juice smiling broadly.

"Wouldn't you like to know." I raised an eyebrow and went back to shaking but continued to observe Juice.

He had shaved and tattooed his head. I liked it, it fit him. He wore a leather kutt and no longer had a prospect patch. I was glad to see he didn't have a Men of Mayhem patch, I was aware of what that meant. It was nice to see the club hadn't tainted him too badly yet. I liked Juice how he was, sweet and naïve, there was something very boy like about him that I hadn't seen in any of the other Sons.

Juice shook his head. "You really shouldn't have let her back there, Prospect. Well unless you want to clean up her vomit later." He grinned at me. "What are you making anyway?"

"A Dirty Biker." I poured the liquid into two shot glasses. "You want one?" I couldn't believe that Juice had brought up my stomach pyrotechnics. I guess I was never going to live down vomiting on Jax, EVER!

"Um." Juice studied the brown liquid. "What is it?"

"Come on live a little." I shoved one of the shots towards Juice and the other to Half-Sack before pouring the remainder of the drink into a larger glass. Yes, the drink was meant to be a shot but I needed more than just one shot. "Bottoms up boys." I downed the drink and slammed my glass on the bar lightly.

"Wow. That was good Nora. Where did you learn to make that?" Juice asked genuinely.

"I worked as a bartender part-time while in school. I made up the shot when I was homesick and bored one night." When I was in New York, I thought about my family often. I missed them so much especially when things were going so wrong. I tried to push that all out of my head as I poured myself a beer and stepped out from behind the bar. "Thank you, Kip." I patted him on the shoulder and turned to Juice. "I'm glad to see you're a full member." I hugged Juice. It was so familiar, it made me so happy to be home.

"Glad to see you didn't get sucked into the city life." Juice was from Queens, so he had given me lots of advice about New York and what to watch for. He had hoped that the city life wouldn't mar my spirit and to the outside world, it was going to be that way…it was just me, it wouldn't be.

"Yeah." I just nodded. New York would have been great if it wasn't for Sarah. After meeting her everything changed for me. My life hasn't been the same since she entered my world. "I think I am going to go get some air. It was good seeing you, Juice. We have to catch up." I was feeling claustrophobic like the walls were closing in on me.

The hot California air hit me and I felt instant relief. When I was in New York, I had never felt the same reprieve as I did at that very moment. It was like the heat washed over me and eased my anxiety. Maybe it was just the fact that I was home and I didn't have to worry about things. I was safe when I was home. If not I had a building full of bikers to take care of my problems. I just had to let them in.

"So how bad did you make him squirm?" Jax called from the picnic table behind me.

"I'm sure he came close to shitting his pants." I made my way to the table and sat down across from him. I could've drunk Jackson in for hours. "So where is the ball and chain?" I asked. He had gotten married to the junkie, Wendy after I left for college.

"Beats the hell out of me. Last I heard she was in treatment." Jax took a long drag from his cigarette. "She knows better than to shower face around here for a while after she put our kid in the NICU for a few months."

Kid? My dad never told me anything about a kid. "So, you're someone's dad now?" Jax had told me he never wanted to bring kids into this world and look at him now.

"Yeah, Abel. My mom has him right now so I could be here. He's definitely a Teller. Kid's got a lot of fight in him." Jackson said proudly.

"Good. I'm happy for you Jax." I smiled as a beer was sat down in front of me and Jax. I glanced up and saw a face that I didn't think I would see in a very long time. "Oh, my god, Opie!" I jumped up quickly and embraced him. I hadn't seen him since the night he was arrested. "How are Donna and the kids?" I asked.

A sorrowful look crossed Opie's face. "Shit, you don't know." His voice was full of sadness.

I searched his face and then glanced over at Jax, whose face was hooded with pain. "What? What don't I know?" Anxiety filled my body. I wanted to take everything back. I wanted to rewind the moment, I didn't want bad news. I couldn't handle it.

Opie looked down at me, all I could concentrate on was the grief in his hazel eyes. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. "Donna was murdered about a month ago."

My legs gave out on me, thankfully Opie grabbed me before I hit the ground. Tears pooled in my eyes. Murdered? Why hadn't my dad told me about it? Donna and I were as thick as thieves before I had left for New York. We tried to stay in touch as much as possible but life happened and we hadn't talked in about six months. A loud sob escaped my lips as Opie pulled me into him. "Please tell me you're lying," I begged, knowing that he wouldn't be that cruel to lie about something like that.

"I'm sorry, Nora," Opie whispered, his own eyes threatened tears.

I pulled away from him and stared up at his towering stature. "No, Op. I'm sorry. I wish I had known. I can't believe my dad didn't tell me. I would have been here in a heartbeat if I had known. Please let me know if you need help with Kenny and Ellie." Shit, what a mind fuck, the news of Donna's death was to me. I didn't know what else to say to Opie. I just hurt so much for him.

"Of course. Now join us for a beer and tell us why you dyed your hair this color." Opie said lightly as he tucked a piece of loose hair behind my ear.

I raised an eyebrow at Opie as I sat down and took a drink out of my beer. "I guess I need a change," I stated.

"A change?" Jax teased as he smirked at Opie, who shrugged in response.

"Oh, come on, I was an Art Major. Do you think I am going to go normal?" I smirked, which was quickly wiped from my face as I noticed the woman who had just sat down next to Jax and gave him a peck on the cheek. "You have to be fucking kidding me." I blurted out without even thinking.