AUTHOR'S NOTES: an au next gen boruto fanfic. sort of. uses boruto characters but they're edited to fit this universe which is my gay version. it's gonna go from the blank period to boruto, etc etc and is gonna be dealing with the naruto gang, (BASICALLY CHILD SOLDIERS), trying to deal with becoming parents and marrying and shit and all their ptsd and other issues that come with from being child soldiers. then it'll eventually deal with the boruto era kids trying to grow up in a world shaped by what their parents have left and some other issues.

sasunaru in this chapter. for your interest the main pairings (for now) are: sasunaru, inosakura, shikatema, shikacho (they're poly), chokarui (poly), temakarui (again poly), leeten (would be poly with neji but he's dead), kakagai, irukaayame, kibatamaki, and some ocs.

ARC ONE
CHAPTER ONE: SASUKE

When he tells him, the first time, he feels his heart stop.

"What?"

"I'm- I've been late, y'know? In that way. I asked Sakura and Hinata confirmed it for me-"

Pregnant. Pregnant.

(memories of infants pulled from wombs too soon, dark corridors where women screamed and a snake piled the dead up high, tsking. "maybe next time we'll have something worthwhile.")

Something heavy settles on his chest, a crushing feeling that sucks all the air from his body. He wants to scream. He wants to cry. Something. SOMETHING.

"I just- I thought you should know, y'know? I would have told you sooner but you're always gone and I wanted it to be in person, y'know? Something special- I don't know-"

Something. Something. Something.

DO SOMETHING.

"-Have you thought of names yet?"

He wants to run. Shut down. Cry. Scream. Something. Instead he looks at his best friend's, (only friend, sometimes), face, blue eyes shining with worry, and draws his hands up, pulling him close.

He could leave. Tell him to get rid of it. That he can't handle this.

(he can't. he can't. it's only a half formed creature right now, fluttering under his best friend's dark fingers and he can't handle it.)

But he doesn't.

He stays in konoha after that. His mind is screaming to get out before it gets bad. (leave, leave, leave.) but, he's abandoned Naruto once, (twice? how many times had he left him behind?), and, he can't stand to leave him now. Not when he's like this.

And he can't ask him to leave. Not when this village is his everything. Not when the people walking down the street finally recognize him and smile. When they love him. This is everything Naruto's ever wanted. Everything.

And the Uchiha clan was always meant to be in Konoha, weren't they?

So he stays.

Ino's the one who approaches him, in the end, not Sakura.

(people will talk later. say they slept around, that they always knew how in love with him that haruno girl was.)

They want children. It's all she can think about now, she says. She's so excited for him and Naruto- but she wants her own. And Ino- well Ino would give her the world.

So she asks Sasuke.

"We don't expect anything from you. Just- that way it's not just Naruto and you expecting to restore your clan, right?"

Naruto's all for it. (he's imagining a built in best friend for the little one growing inside him. shizune says it's a boy and naruto's thrilled. sasuke feels the weight in his chest grow heavier.) And- he's trying to make up for so much. So he agrees. He visits the clinic and that's that.

A couple weeks later Sakura and Ino both drop by to confirm that it's taken. Sakura's pregnant. They're all thrilled.

(sasuke dreams of red streets and brothers killing brothers. he'll never say how relieved he is when they eventually find out sakura's expecting a girl.)

It's a hot, humid August day when their son is born. The clouds are dark in the sky, storms building up inside them, when Naruto goes into labor. Sakura's barely pregnant at the time, still working at the hospital, and she and Shizune are there the entire time.

It feels like the entire village is there to give their encouragement but, as the hours trickle on, eventually the group dies down to the Konoha eleven, (plus the surly looking sai), and their surviving mentors.

Six hours of strenuous labor later and their son finally enters the world. Naruto's crying, tears dripping down his face, fingers touching the child's little red face. Sakura asks for his name and the blond swallows, choking on a sob.

"Boruto- for Neji."

"Boruto U-"

"Uzumaki," Sasuke cuts in. The Uchiha ability can continue on- but he'd never doom a child to bear that name. To live out the life of tragedy the name brings.

It's been three hours since Boruto was born and Sasuke still can't bring himself to hold him. He sits by Naruto's bed, instead, watching as the blond bounces the baby and greets everyone who comes to visit.

He keeps his eyes solely on Naruto, never straying far to the black haired infant in his arms that screams and screams.

(all he can see is the resemblance, now. the whisker marks throw everyone off- but sasuke knows. that nose. that chin. that hair- it's like looking in a mirror.)

He thought- once he was here- the anxiety and fear he felt would dissipate. Would dry up the first time he looked in his son's eyes and saw him breathe.

So far? It hasn't.

The feeling has only worsened, an anxiety he hasn't felt since he was but a child. His leg shakes on its own accord, bouncing up and down as people filter in. Naruto greets them all like an old friend, even the astonished faces who had no idea.

"Yeah! I'm a guy and I had a baby! I'm that cool, y'know? No biggie."

He grins and Sasuke keeps his face tight, watching the rise and fall of his partner's chest. The way his ribs shake when he laughs. If he keeps his eyes on him he'll be alright. He'll be okay. He'll be-

"Sasuke?"

Shit.

"Hey- Sasuke- you alright?"

He steels himself, fingers digging into the fabric of his pants as he shifts his gaze from the blond's chest to his face, Sasuke's own face shifting to a carefully guarded expression.

"I'm fine, Naruto. Just tired. You should be more worried about yourself."

The words come easy.

(lying comes easy.)

Naruto laughs from the bed as the last visitor leaves, a sheepish smile on his face. If he didn't have his own hand full with a baby he'd probably rub the back of his neck, too.

"Heh! You know me! I bounce back quick, y'know! I'm fine!" He grins as if to cement how okay he is. The smile falls quickly, though, the jinchuuriki's face creasing into a half concerned frown.

"-Are you sure you're okay, Sasuke? Not just- I mean- with this. You haven't said anything about him yet or even- y'know- held him. If you're not okay i get it, i totally do, y'know? It's a lot and-"

"Naruto."

no no no.

Panic swells in his chest as he cuts the Uzumaki off, though, he keeps it well hidden behind a carefully crafted expression and tone. He can't have Naruto worrying. Second guessing. This is all Naruto has wanted- a family- he's not going to ruin that.

(and isn't it what he wanted, once? "i'm going to restore my clan.")

Naruto says nothing, though the frown across his face says everything. He clutches the child tighter, head bowing. "I mean it, Sasuke. You don't have to pretend-"

Sasuke rises and carefully, carefully, reaches his one hand out to run through the other's blond locks. His expression is guarded still but, there's a softness there only one or two get to see.

"I'm not pretending."

He takes the child- Boruto- gingerly, still only having one arm, (sakura and tsunade have talked about prosthetics- but he doesn't want one. the loss of limb is a reminder), and pulls him close to his chest. He looks down and black eyes meet dark blue. The little thing scrunches his face up, looking at his father, whiskered cheeks puffed out.

A mix of emotions hit him at once, his face heating up and his eyes watering. It's like he's watching someone else as tears drip down his cheeks and land on the child's forehead. Naruto thinks it's joy. Fatherly pride. Relief. Something else.

Sasuke thinks- he-

He had hoped the heavy feeling in his chest would go away once his son was here. Once he held him.

It only gets heavier.