The year 2012

"I can't do this anymore Bell," a tear trailed it's way down her cheek, hanging from her chin a few seconds before falling on her grey jogging trousers, leaving a spot of dark grey on her knee. It was the first tear to fall, after the decision she had made that afternoon. She lifted her feet onto the couch, pressing the phone to her ear and hugging her knees with the other arm.

"If you can't choose, I will. This has to end, it shouldn't even have started," more tears fell down as she continued, wetting her both cheeks and making larger dark spots on the jogging trousers, "Gina is good for you, she told me you are starting a family," she took a deep breath and winced, "you deserve to be happy, to have a family and…" a sob ended the sentence before she could complete it, "make this work Bell, don't let me ruin this for you," Clarke finished her speech, if you could call it one.

"You're right," he agreed without emotion from the other end of the line, "I'm sorry, I am Princess," the nickname made Clark let out a sob. The emotionless response made her wish she could see what he was feeling. But on the other hand that had been exactly the reason why she hadn't done this in person. She would've stopped, she would've changed her decision if she had seen what Bellamy was actually feeling.

"Just, be happy Bell. I got to go, I need to work in five hours," it was a lie, but Clarke sounded convincing enough.

"Night Princess,"

"Night Bell," it sounded more like a goodbye, soft but definitive . She pressed the red 'end call' button before Bellamy could say anything, throwing the phone toward the wall opposite of the couch, letting all her emotions take over. It was better for the both of them, but that hadn't made the decision lighter on her.

Gina had bumped into her at the gynecologist a few days earlier. She had happily told Clarke about her pregnancy, she was three months along and everything was going well. After she had told the news she asked what Clarke had been doing there. She made up a lie, telling Gina that she was thinking about an internship. Not long after Gina went home to Bellamy, who apparently hadn't had the decency to tell Clarke about the pregnancy, Clarke was called in. She was eight weeks pregnant.

The year 2017

"Chloë, it's time to go," Clarke yelled at the curly blond girl looking over at her. Chloë looked back towards the play castle, then back at Clarke. Clarke sighed and nodded in agreement, making the blonde girl smile from ear to ear, getting back on the play castle.

"Mommy?" Chloë took Clarke's hand after she went down the slide of the play castle the last time, "where are we going?" They walked towards the packed car.

"We're going to move all the boxes…"

"All the boxes we just packed last week, we don't have to unpack them again do we?" Chloë interrupted, a little pout on her mouth, her soft brown eyes looking at the larger blonde questionably.

"Yes smartass, all the boxes we just packed last week, we are going to bring them to our new home," Clarke looked down at the little girl, smiling at the five year old.

"How far?" the girl asked, looking at her mom, pulling Clarke to the car faster. Chloë liked car rides, as did Clarke. Though, both for different reasons. Clarke always got time to think, driving made her head empty so she could get her thoughts straight. And luckily for her, Chloë always fell asleep in the car.

"It's a four hour drive, baby girl," Clarke looked at her watch, "we'll be there in time to eat dinner in our new home town, Arkadia."

The girl nodded, taking seat in the back while Clarke helped her put the seatbelt on, before walking to the driver's side. She took place behind the steering wheel, clicked her seatbelt and secured her hair in a fast ponytail, a pair of loose curls against her cheeks . It had been five years since she left Arkadia, leaving the city to live in a quieter neighborhood, to be alone with her own feelings, deciding what she wanted to do.

But now she had gotten a job offer in the gallery an old friend had opened two years back, and that was back in Arkadia. So she needed to move back again, which made her stomach turn a little. She had had some contact with her old friends there. But the talks had been short and lately, she didn't really have the time. Neither did Octavia, Raven or Lexa, so the contact hadn't really been that good, not since she had moved away. Monty had taken the time to call frequently, especially after Jasper had died, always asking her if he could come visit, but she always told him he shouldn't. Her house was to messy, with all the painting stuff, or she just had a new lover, or there was some other reason she thought of. And there was Bellamy, who hadn't contacted her since their last phone call.

And then there was the little girl in the backseat, her baby girl, they didn't know about her. Not yet. It had been five rough years, even with the help of Abby and Marcus, who came by as much as they could. Truth be told, there hadn't been any lovers, a few dates, but nothing worth the trouble. There hadn't been friends who stayed long enough, who could actually break down her walls. There hadn't really been anyone, and Clarke was grateful for that. She had needed the time alone.

"Mom, can we stop to get an icecream?" they had been driving for two hours, Chloë had just woken up and was pointing at a McDonalds sign next to the highway, Clarke saw the blonde pointing at the big M through her back mirror.

"Sure, but you'll have to eat in the car, okay?" she asked, focusing on the next exit to get to the McDonalds. Chloë didn't answer, which made Clarke sure she had nodded in agreement. Chloë ate her ice cream in peace, before falling asleep again. An hour before arriving in Arkadia, Clarke's phone rang, playing the song Roan, her new boss, put in the phone for his contact. A few moments she let it play, loving the song, before putting the phone on speaker.

"You always give me hell, Roan, what's up," she reacted to the song that had played, Gives you hell by The All-American Rejects.

"You almost here? Thought we could get dinner together, so you don't have to eat alone your first evening back here,"

"I haven't eaten alone in five years, but you're a good guy for giving me the chance to talk to you as a friend before I need to call you boss the rest of the time," she chuckled.

"Yeah well, I'm that good of a guy," he told her, "so how late will you be here? Do I need to pick you and your princess up at your new home? By the way, have you got some paintings ready, maybe we can put some of yours in the gallery, maybe you can finally become a famous painter. And I'm so looking forward in you calling me boss, you can't imagine," Clarke could hear the smirk forming on Roan's lips.

"I guess I got some paintings, I should be there in about an hour, and yes, please pick me and Chloë up, I'll text you the address," she answered his questions, after rolling her eyes at the stream of words coming from her speakers, "and Roan, could we please eat something at a quiet spot, somewhere we won't run into anyone?" Roan agreed, knowing why Clarke didn't feel like seeing anyone yet, not tonight at least. "You do know they need to know though, right?" he ended the call before she got to react and Clarke sighed, her stomach turning once again.

"I'll visit the girls and Monty in the weekend," she whispered softly, not really feeling at ease with it. A quick glance in the back mirror made her smile at the girl in the backseat, her beautiful, smart and amazing girl. She knew they would all love that little girl. The girl she shouldn't have had, but couldn't give away. The only thing that reminded her of the only person she had truly loved and the reason she had made the decision to get away from said person.

Bellamy Blake...