G: HEEEEEEERRRREEEEESSSSS' GENJI!! Yes I know that most of you peeps have been itching to find out what the hell happens to Yami & Co. And as promised, I have it!
However, Tsurugi left to "tie up" some loose ends. So Kura's here to help.
K: YOU WANT THE DISCLAIMER YOU LAME TURDS!? GO TO THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!
G: Woah, chill out Kura.
WARNING: Constant name-calling, repeated crotch-beating, and...yeah.
**********************************************************************
Yami Discovers...PAINTBALL GUNZ!
Crapter 3: Showdown
Last time: Yami and company get trapped by the flying Anzu-wasp! Then, Bakura transforms into the Orocchi, and begins to take out his anger on Malik, unaware that the place is burning down...
O. Bakura: DAMMIT MALIK! HOLD STILL SO I CAN TORCH YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR AN ASS!
Malik: FACK NO YOU ESCAPED MENTAL PATIENT!!!
The battle dragged on for several hours inside the room where Yami had slain the monstrous poodle earlier. Earlier in the battle, Anzu had them all surrounded by her swarms of fuzzy, pink, ant-soldiers. After getting torched by Malik with his own flamethrower however, Bakura became a secret weapon bent on torching Malik, while unintentionally destroying the place...
Jou: Uh, Yami? Don'cha think we should get the fack outta here? The whole place might come dome on our heads!
Yami: Hang on, this is very entertaining. (grabs more popcorn)
Jou: What about Anzu?
Yami: Use this.(hands Jou a flamethrower)
Jou: Where the hell do you get these?
Yami: What're ya? The fuzz? The Man? The Pigs?
Jou: (Faux brit accent) Bloody hell NO!!!
Yami: Then what're you waiting for? START BLOWING SHIT UP!!!!
Jou: At long last, the opportunity to live out my fantasy as a mad arsonist! MUWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yami: (sweatdrop) Okay, SOMEONE's been playing too much Grand Theft Auto...
MEANWHILE...on the front lawn
Seto had been through several "Protector tests" which pitted his flimsy cup protector against paintballs, tank treads, bulldozers, avalanches, landslides, cannons, magnums, attack dogs, and various other painful challenges. Now, a TV crew and several reporters had gathered at the scene, witnessing the most bizarre thing to happen in Domino.
Reporter: Good evening Kotomi Akamaru, here. Tonight we witness a rather amazing, if not sadistic, spectacle happening in front of the residence of the village idiot, Anzu Mazaki. Here we have the Kaiba brothers Mokuba and Seto-
Seto: IT'S SETO AND MOKUBA DAMMIT!!!
Kotomi: SHUT UP! I'M WORKING HERE!!! (kicks Seto in the jewels)
Seto: (Retches in agony despite having his testicles pulverized repeatedly.)
Kotomi: (to Mokuba) So tell me, why are you torturing your big brother Mokuba?
Mokuba: For two reasons. One, I got bribed to tie Seto to the lawn, and he made me look like a complete ass in front of my girlfriend!
Seto: I didn't know you even HAD a girlfriend you ugly monkey!
Mokuba: Go suck on this you Italian man-whore! (Uses car-mounted cannon to further abuse Seto)
Seto: (continues to retch in intense pain)
Kotomi: I see. And what about you sir? (Points to Yuugi)
Yuugi: (Holding Camera) Me? I'm just getting this on DVD so I can make tons of copies and sell em' all!
Seto: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Owie.
Mai: You guys are twisted...
Back inside...
All of the ant-warriors had been torched thanks to Orocchi Bakura who was now happily roasting Malik's carcass on a spit over a black fire.
Bakura: (caresses his flamethrower Gollum-style) My Precioussssssss.
Yami: You're starting to scare the fack outta me.
Jou: Heh, so much for her "children."
Anzu: So? I've got other surprises for you!
Yami: Like what? Talking us to death? HA!
Anzu: Something far worse! (AN: IF you've NEVER heard of Xenosaga, just picture amoebas with Anzu's ugly mug on all of em') Arise! Gnosis!
Bakura: Gnosis? AHHHHHHHHHHH!
What came through the wall was the most horrifying thing everyone ever saw.
A thing that had tons of heads that looked like Anzu's, moved like a slug, and sounded just as horrifying. It also kept on spewing mindless drivel about world peace, friendship, bunnies, hair gel and a crapload of other things. To make things even worse however, she melded herself into the Hydra-like beast, and grew even larger.
Malik: (wakes himself from his coma) SHIT! WHAT IS THAT THING?!
Jou: That's Anzu right after she came outta her fat momma's ass and had plastic surgery!
All: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Anzu: SHUT UP! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!
Yami: You're right, It ain't funny, It's DAMN-RIGHT HYSTERICAL!!!
Bakura: How about this? Anzu's so big, fat, and clumsy, she tried to get to Wal-Mart, but tripped over K-mart, and landed right on Target!
All: (More Hysteric Laughter)
Anzu: YOU PEOPLE ARE MEAN! WAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! (Proceeds to ooze away from the others)
Yami: Hold it. Just where do you think you're gonna ooze off to?
Anzu: My happy place, where you can't be mean to me any more!
Malik: Where would that be? Up your ass and 'round the corner?
Anzu: No! My room! Where the pictures are! The ones you're looking for! HA!
Bakura: After her!
Yami: (Holds Bakura) Wait a minute, I've got an idea. (Whisper, whisper, whisper)
Bakura: (twisted grin) Oh, Hell yeah.
Jou: Alright Anzu, We'll let your slimy ass go cower in the cardboard box you call a room. Go for it.
Anzu: I will! Humph! (Leaves the room)
Yami: Hey everybody, got any expolsives?
All: (Take out explosives from their pockets)
Yami: Good. Now let's go and set em' around the place!
Jou: If we can't get the pics, then we'll destroy em' and this house!
Yami: That's the whole idea Jou!
With lightning speed, they spread all the dynamite, C4, gasoline, and other explosive crap throughout the place. Yami snuck into Anzu's room and nailed her with an
elephant-strength tranquilizer dart, placed a Hydrogen bomb under her bed and snuck out.
When they were through, they began to fight over the explosive trigger.
Yami: Why don't we all duel for it?
Bakura: Fack no! You always win!
Jou: Draw straws?
Malik: How bou't rock-paper-scissors?
Yami: Alright then, Ready?
All: One, two. Three!
Jou:ROCK!
Bakura: PAPER!
Malik: SCISSORS!
Yami: EXODIA!
JB&M: THE HELL?!
Yami: EXODIA BEATS THE CRAP OUTTA EVERYTHING!!!!XD
Malik:GODDAMMSUNNUVABITCHASSHOLE!!!!!!
Yami: EVERYBODY OUTTA THE PLACE! NOW!
Everyone charged outta the house to avoid having their guts plastered on the nearby houses. Soon, they were outside the place, well away from the house, loaded with high power explosives. Yami also called to the TV crew, Yuugi, Mai, and Mokuba, to find cover.
Seto: HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME!?
Jou: Screw you! I don't like you since you keep calling me a dog, so shut your face! (Shoves his gun up his nose and fires, following up with a kick in the crotch.)
Yami: LET THE FIREWERKS BEGIN!!!
Yami pressed the trigger, and watched as the whole place went skyward, debris spreading everywhere. Everyone oohed and ahhed as they got to view one of the most awesome pyrotechnics show EVER. Explosions rocked the neighborhood as bits of shrapnel shattered the cars parked in the streets. When the dust cleared, Anzu's house was nothing more than a smoldering ruin.
Malik: That...was...the...best...explosion...I've...ever...seen.
Mokuba: Hey Yuugi, Didja get it on DVD?
Yuugi: Oh yeah. Now we can all watch this over and over again!
Bakura: Where's the body though?
As if on cue, the charred corpse of Anzu fell on top of Seto, who was STILL tied to the ground. Later, Yami had to mind-crush all the TV crew so they wouldn't know who created the explosion.
Yami: Well Mai, we didn't get the pictures...
Bakura: But at least we destroyed them!
Malik: And we flattened Anzu's house!
Yuugi: And to top it off, I got footage of Seto getting kicked in the crotch, and the explosion!
Mokuba: And I got revenge for him embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend!
Jou: (stomach growl) Woah, After all that, I'm in the mood for a little snack.
Bakura: What you mean by a "little" is a shitload!
Jou: Whatever, To the Pizza Hut!
All: Yeah! (drives off while dragging Anzu's lifeless corpse)
Seto: Uh, hello? Anybody? Somebody? HELP ME!!!
**********************************************************************
G: Well, that was a wild ride while it lasted, but it ends now!
T: Me thinks that was all bashing, no humor ya think?
K: I guess so...
All: But what do YOU think? REVIEW!!!!
However, Tsurugi left to "tie up" some loose ends. So Kura's here to help.
K: YOU WANT THE DISCLAIMER YOU LAME TURDS!? GO TO THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!
G: Woah, chill out Kura.
WARNING: Constant name-calling, repeated crotch-beating, and...yeah.
**********************************************************************
Yami Discovers...PAINTBALL GUNZ!
Crapter 3: Showdown
Last time: Yami and company get trapped by the flying Anzu-wasp! Then, Bakura transforms into the Orocchi, and begins to take out his anger on Malik, unaware that the place is burning down...
O. Bakura: DAMMIT MALIK! HOLD STILL SO I CAN TORCH YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR AN ASS!
Malik: FACK NO YOU ESCAPED MENTAL PATIENT!!!
The battle dragged on for several hours inside the room where Yami had slain the monstrous poodle earlier. Earlier in the battle, Anzu had them all surrounded by her swarms of fuzzy, pink, ant-soldiers. After getting torched by Malik with his own flamethrower however, Bakura became a secret weapon bent on torching Malik, while unintentionally destroying the place...
Jou: Uh, Yami? Don'cha think we should get the fack outta here? The whole place might come dome on our heads!
Yami: Hang on, this is very entertaining. (grabs more popcorn)
Jou: What about Anzu?
Yami: Use this.(hands Jou a flamethrower)
Jou: Where the hell do you get these?
Yami: What're ya? The fuzz? The Man? The Pigs?
Jou: (Faux brit accent) Bloody hell NO!!!
Yami: Then what're you waiting for? START BLOWING SHIT UP!!!!
Jou: At long last, the opportunity to live out my fantasy as a mad arsonist! MUWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yami: (sweatdrop) Okay, SOMEONE's been playing too much Grand Theft Auto...
MEANWHILE...on the front lawn
Seto had been through several "Protector tests" which pitted his flimsy cup protector against paintballs, tank treads, bulldozers, avalanches, landslides, cannons, magnums, attack dogs, and various other painful challenges. Now, a TV crew and several reporters had gathered at the scene, witnessing the most bizarre thing to happen in Domino.
Reporter: Good evening Kotomi Akamaru, here. Tonight we witness a rather amazing, if not sadistic, spectacle happening in front of the residence of the village idiot, Anzu Mazaki. Here we have the Kaiba brothers Mokuba and Seto-
Seto: IT'S SETO AND MOKUBA DAMMIT!!!
Kotomi: SHUT UP! I'M WORKING HERE!!! (kicks Seto in the jewels)
Seto: (Retches in agony despite having his testicles pulverized repeatedly.)
Kotomi: (to Mokuba) So tell me, why are you torturing your big brother Mokuba?
Mokuba: For two reasons. One, I got bribed to tie Seto to the lawn, and he made me look like a complete ass in front of my girlfriend!
Seto: I didn't know you even HAD a girlfriend you ugly monkey!
Mokuba: Go suck on this you Italian man-whore! (Uses car-mounted cannon to further abuse Seto)
Seto: (continues to retch in intense pain)
Kotomi: I see. And what about you sir? (Points to Yuugi)
Yuugi: (Holding Camera) Me? I'm just getting this on DVD so I can make tons of copies and sell em' all!
Seto: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Owie.
Mai: You guys are twisted...
Back inside...
All of the ant-warriors had been torched thanks to Orocchi Bakura who was now happily roasting Malik's carcass on a spit over a black fire.
Bakura: (caresses his flamethrower Gollum-style) My Precioussssssss.
Yami: You're starting to scare the fack outta me.
Jou: Heh, so much for her "children."
Anzu: So? I've got other surprises for you!
Yami: Like what? Talking us to death? HA!
Anzu: Something far worse! (AN: IF you've NEVER heard of Xenosaga, just picture amoebas with Anzu's ugly mug on all of em') Arise! Gnosis!
Bakura: Gnosis? AHHHHHHHHHHH!
What came through the wall was the most horrifying thing everyone ever saw.
A thing that had tons of heads that looked like Anzu's, moved like a slug, and sounded just as horrifying. It also kept on spewing mindless drivel about world peace, friendship, bunnies, hair gel and a crapload of other things. To make things even worse however, she melded herself into the Hydra-like beast, and grew even larger.
Malik: (wakes himself from his coma) SHIT! WHAT IS THAT THING?!
Jou: That's Anzu right after she came outta her fat momma's ass and had plastic surgery!
All: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Anzu: SHUT UP! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!
Yami: You're right, It ain't funny, It's DAMN-RIGHT HYSTERICAL!!!
Bakura: How about this? Anzu's so big, fat, and clumsy, she tried to get to Wal-Mart, but tripped over K-mart, and landed right on Target!
All: (More Hysteric Laughter)
Anzu: YOU PEOPLE ARE MEAN! WAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! (Proceeds to ooze away from the others)
Yami: Hold it. Just where do you think you're gonna ooze off to?
Anzu: My happy place, where you can't be mean to me any more!
Malik: Where would that be? Up your ass and 'round the corner?
Anzu: No! My room! Where the pictures are! The ones you're looking for! HA!
Bakura: After her!
Yami: (Holds Bakura) Wait a minute, I've got an idea. (Whisper, whisper, whisper)
Bakura: (twisted grin) Oh, Hell yeah.
Jou: Alright Anzu, We'll let your slimy ass go cower in the cardboard box you call a room. Go for it.
Anzu: I will! Humph! (Leaves the room)
Yami: Hey everybody, got any expolsives?
All: (Take out explosives from their pockets)
Yami: Good. Now let's go and set em' around the place!
Jou: If we can't get the pics, then we'll destroy em' and this house!
Yami: That's the whole idea Jou!
With lightning speed, they spread all the dynamite, C4, gasoline, and other explosive crap throughout the place. Yami snuck into Anzu's room and nailed her with an
elephant-strength tranquilizer dart, placed a Hydrogen bomb under her bed and snuck out.
When they were through, they began to fight over the explosive trigger.
Yami: Why don't we all duel for it?
Bakura: Fack no! You always win!
Jou: Draw straws?
Malik: How bou't rock-paper-scissors?
Yami: Alright then, Ready?
All: One, two. Three!
Jou:ROCK!
Bakura: PAPER!
Malik: SCISSORS!
Yami: EXODIA!
JB&M: THE HELL?!
Yami: EXODIA BEATS THE CRAP OUTTA EVERYTHING!!!!XD
Malik:GODDAMMSUNNUVABITCHASSHOLE!!!!!!
Yami: EVERYBODY OUTTA THE PLACE! NOW!
Everyone charged outta the house to avoid having their guts plastered on the nearby houses. Soon, they were outside the place, well away from the house, loaded with high power explosives. Yami also called to the TV crew, Yuugi, Mai, and Mokuba, to find cover.
Seto: HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME!?
Jou: Screw you! I don't like you since you keep calling me a dog, so shut your face! (Shoves his gun up his nose and fires, following up with a kick in the crotch.)
Yami: LET THE FIREWERKS BEGIN!!!
Yami pressed the trigger, and watched as the whole place went skyward, debris spreading everywhere. Everyone oohed and ahhed as they got to view one of the most awesome pyrotechnics show EVER. Explosions rocked the neighborhood as bits of shrapnel shattered the cars parked in the streets. When the dust cleared, Anzu's house was nothing more than a smoldering ruin.
Malik: That...was...the...best...explosion...I've...ever...seen.
Mokuba: Hey Yuugi, Didja get it on DVD?
Yuugi: Oh yeah. Now we can all watch this over and over again!
Bakura: Where's the body though?
As if on cue, the charred corpse of Anzu fell on top of Seto, who was STILL tied to the ground. Later, Yami had to mind-crush all the TV crew so they wouldn't know who created the explosion.
Yami: Well Mai, we didn't get the pictures...
Bakura: But at least we destroyed them!
Malik: And we flattened Anzu's house!
Yuugi: And to top it off, I got footage of Seto getting kicked in the crotch, and the explosion!
Mokuba: And I got revenge for him embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend!
Jou: (stomach growl) Woah, After all that, I'm in the mood for a little snack.
Bakura: What you mean by a "little" is a shitload!
Jou: Whatever, To the Pizza Hut!
All: Yeah! (drives off while dragging Anzu's lifeless corpse)
Seto: Uh, hello? Anybody? Somebody? HELP ME!!!
**********************************************************************
G: Well, that was a wild ride while it lasted, but it ends now!
T: Me thinks that was all bashing, no humor ya think?
K: I guess so...
All: But what do YOU think? REVIEW!!!!