Chapter 105

Scarlett rocked herself on a chair in the porch, reminiscing that memory of her conversation with Ashley in that windy orchard, so many years ago.

"Listen to me, I 'm tired of it all, I tell you. Bone tired and I'm not going to stand it any longer. I've struggled for food and for money and I've weeded and hoed and picked cotton and I've even ploughed until I can't stand it another minute. I tell you, Ashley, the South is dead! It's dead! The Yankees and the free niggers and the Carpetbaggers have got it and there's nothing left for us. Ashley, let's run away! Yes, let's run away–leave them all! I'm tired of working for the folks. Somebody will take care of them. There's always somebody who takes care of people who can't take care of themselves. Oh, Ashley, let's run away, you and I. We could go to Mexico-"

She could see now that she had been a frightened, tired child then. And Ashley couldn't understand it. Just what had he said-

"Do you think I could go off and leave Melanie and the baby, even if I hated them both? Break Melanie's heart? Leave them both to the charity of friends? Scarlett, are you mad? Isn't there any sense of loyalty in you? You couldn't leave your father and the girls. They're your responsibility, just as Melanie and Beau are mine, and whether you are tired or not, they are here and you've got to bear them."

"I could leave them–I'm sick of them–tired of them– "

"I know you're sick and tired. That's why you are talking this way. You've carried the load of three men. But I'm going to help you–I won't always be so awkward–"

Scarlett's eyes narrowed in thought. "Ashley had somehow made it all about himself. But Rhett isn't like him. Rhett understands me."

Just then the gate opened and Rhett walked up the drive. He had been out all morning that day. Now that he was back, he took Scarlett to one side and spoke to her in a lowered tone. "I went to meet a few of the doctors in Charleston, Scarlett. And I think its best that we don't see one. After our war, it seems many women, owing to lack of proper food and nourishment, are all unable to have babies. So, these doctors have come up with new ways of tackling this problem but I don't like it."

His hand clasped her wrist with warmth. "I don't want any metal to tear into you- not since that awful fall that you took down the stairs. So, I've come up with a better plan. I'll ask my Mother to recommend some herbs. They say, some herbs have healing and strengthening powers-"

Scarlett blushed furiously. "Oh no, Rhett! Don't ask your Mother! I'm sure the word will spread to my Aunt Pauline and Aunt Eulalie. Then Aunt Pitty will come to know and I couldn't possibly- I couldn't bear it!"

Rhett stared keenly into her face. She anxiously averted her eyes.

He thought for a moment and then said in a kinder tone. "Since it means so much to you, I'll tell my Mother not to mention this to your Aunts." He saw her opening her mouth in another protest. "Now, no other objections, Scarlett. My Mother wont tell tales to anyone- you like her don't you?"

Scarlett nodded quietly.

He put an arm around her and led her to the inner room. "Now, now- You'll see, it won't be as bad as you think."

What followed was an hour long talk with Old Mrs. Butler - the most embarrassing conversation Scarlett had ever had for a long long time. She looked entirely awkward when Rhett started explaining her accident. Thankfully, he left out the horrid details. When he protectively laid his hand on her middle, she thought she would faint right there. Scarlett couldn't bear such a topic being discussed so openly. And she felt sure that Rhett's Mother would write and tell everything to her Aunts. What a horror!"

But Rhett had been right about his Mother's knowledge. Mrs. Butler immediately wrote down the names of some of the medicinal herbs which could be crushed and drank down for healing the body. Thankfully, Mrs. Butler understood Scarlett's embarrassment and refrained from posing too many intimate questions. But she appeared very pleased with her own son take such an interest in his wife.

That night, Scarlett managed to swallow a cup of rather strong herb mixture. Her face contorted in repulsion and Rhett quickly handed her a chocolate. "Is this supposed to make me feel better?" she asked, gulping some water to forget the taste.

"Yes, it is supposed to make you all right again. You take this everyday for about two months or so-"

"Two months?!"

"And we will keep trying-"

"I suppose there is nothing else we can do" said Scarlett, glumly. "Its all right if I keep riding my horse, isn't it?"

"Oh, that's all right. But if you ever come to know there is a baby growing, you had better take it easy. Because I think the baby might push against that rib-"

Scarlett looked worried. Rhett got into bed beside her and put his arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry. Maybe this time it will be harder than before- but that's why you've got to keep drinking that herbal drink- Next week, when I go to England, I'll get you some more herbs- I'll bring them powdered in a jar."

"Oh! That's different." said Scarlett , cheering up. "Bring them in big English jars,Rhett- the kind with sweet primroses and purple lavenders printed on it. Then I can keep them openly on the table and all my friends will be impressed by the way you are-"

"Ah, the old vanity rears its head!"

"I wish you would be vain once in a while!" She leaned in and kissed him. "How long will you be gone?"

"It will be a short trip- two months or so- I am planning on taking another ship and running trade routes again. Just to keep my hand in, so to speak. Meanwhile you keep making and drinking the medicine. I'll teach you how to prepare it. And you write to me every week to tell me you've taken it, Scarlett. If you don't write, I'll be very angry with you."

"Every week?"

"Every week! You'll take this seriously, won't you? Stop pouting and say yes-"

He turned her head and she shrugged and said "yes".

"You mean it, don't you? Just why did you say yes just now?"

Scarlett giggled. "Rhett, what is it with you? You know I want to have this baby, sometimes even more than you. I will take any nasty drink you give me- anything to have a baby. Don't you see- The next baby I have will be my salvation!"

"What do you mean by that?" asked Rhett, frowning.

"Well, our people back in Atlanta all think that I ought to give you another baby and since I have changed so much I would make a fine mother-"

Rhett leaned back with a mocking grin on his face. "You'll be a little better than you were the last time. But don't try to make anything of it. If we do have a child, I'm determined not to make the same mistakes as I did with Bonnie."

Scarlett thought of assuring Rhett that he had been a great father. But she wisely kept quiet. Rhett didn't seem to take pleasure in things like that. Instead she drew closer to his bare chest and laid her head over his heart. She sighed. "I still wish you hadn't told your Mother. After that wonderful impression I gave of being independent and resourceful- to finally be seen like this!"

"But you are independent and resourceful. Talking to Mother hasn't reduced any of your qualities. You are just being stubborn. One of these days, you'll see-"

In three days time, Scarlett was in for an splendid surprise. She came down from her room that morning and found Rhett ordering some workmen to haul in a new piano. He opened the large hall doors and asked them to keep it there and beamed at Scarlett.

"It's for you" he said, grinning at the delight on her face.

Scarlett's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Oh, how lovely. But it's been so long since I played anything- Oh, Rhett- what a lovely surprise. I do remember some old tunes- Oh, if only I had the music- It's been ever so long!"

Once the piano was set up and tuned, Rosemary fetched some sheet music from her room upstairs and Scarlett tried her best to play without mistakes. Then when she began to sing, Rhett joined in as well. The whole family gathered around to listen. Her voice was soft and sweet and his was resonant and deep. Together they livened up the mood just as they used to once long ago.