WHEN SANITY THREATENS TO BETRAY YOU

Levi was getting a headache.

Why you ask?

Simple.

I mean who doesn't get a headache when you have two brats complaining about their love issues to you, constantly?

It all started when Eren spilled the soapy bucket of water right on Levi's feet.

"Tch, have you gone insane? You of all people should know how much I hate..."

He pointed at the mess. "...this."

Instead of the heartfelt apology Levi was obviously waiting for he got a clank of the metal water bucket.

"I didn't mean to." He said forcefully not afraid to meet his Captain's eyes.

"I'm distracted." He huffed.

A little too uncomfortable of the atmosphere Levi asked cautiously.

"Why?"

"I think I'm in love."

It had been 8 years since he had felt so many emotions.

He was confused, amused, and sympathetic and annoyed at the same time.

"With whom?" Levi asked in a choke voice realizing that he was trying very hard to contain back his laughter.

"Mikasa." Came the solemn reply.

"And how did you come to this conclusion?"

Levi inquired and immediately regretted asking because Eren started a speech more passionate than the one he ranted about eradicating titans, stating how he admired her determination and skills and was grateful for staying with him and saving his ass and other clichés etc.

Nevertheless Levi swore this was the last time he'll ask someone about their love life, especially hormonal passionate brats.

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It wasn't until late night that brat number 2 came banging on his office's door.

"What are you doing here?" Levi glared at her.

"I have ...issues." Mikasa paused for a moment.

"That doesn't explain why you're banging my door."

"I need help, Aniki"

Ouch. That was low blow. Even for Mikasa.

Levi's eyes twitched and he motioned her to sit in his office.

"So what's causing you constipation?"

For some reason Mikasa chose to ignore his vulgar language.

"Eren... Mainly."

"Obviously. Like anyone needs to be reminded." Levi said offhandedly.

"He's such a spine less, idiot, asshole." Mikasa huffed.

"I totally agree- wait what did you say?" Levi shot up in his seat.

"I called him a cowardly stupid -"

"I'm pretty sure the insults were different but..." Levi paused like trying to find the right words.

"I mean...why?"

"Why? I'll tell you why?" Mikasa yelled. "Just yesterday he was all over Krista telling her how cute she looked and did you even see him with Annie and I swear he accidently brushed hands with Sasha when they were cooking, not to mention complimenting Ymir when they were sparring. I mean I do all of that but do you see the guy saying anything to me? Nooooooooooo. That guy is like 'I don't need your help Mikasa I'm fine' and speeds off. Does he even appreciate all I do for him? No he doesn't. Seriously. He. Does. Not. Deserve. Me." Mikasa finished catching her breath and started ranting again.

On that day Levi also learned new insults that were never in his vocabulary before that day.

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Levi would have loved to say that breakfast the next morning was tranquil and refreshing. Which it hardly was.

Even Connie and Sasha for all their obliviousness could feel the tension rolling off the two teens and the not so subtle twitch of their Captain's limbs.

Jean and Armin, who knew exactly what was going on, hid their amusement extremely well as to not become minced meat at the hand of their superior.

In the end Mikasa had just huffed out of his office without any advice, Levi was quite thankful for that.

Training was a messy affair.

Eren fell three times to the ground, the klutz he was, but to Levi's surprise Mikasa didn't even look at his way.

Eren realizing that she wasn't paying attention had a slight hurtful expression even if he was going to say "I'm fine." in the end.

To Levi's much added amusement and horror, Mikasa actually walked towards Jean, who looked painfully awkward at the sudden interaction and casually started talking about random things.

Eren narrowed his eyes at the scene.

Ah oh.

Levi thought.

This is going to be a pain in the ass.

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Dinner was even more cheerful than breakfast.

Eren was either stabbing his already mashed potatoes with his fork bent on flattening them more which was impossible or glaring at Jean with an intensity that would have burned were it possible while Mikasa had altogether disappeared after eating coolly for 10 minutes.

Levi would not admit that this tensed atmosphere was getting to him.

Nope. Not at all.

He was a Captain dammit.

So no.

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The atmosphere was getting to him.

Levi did something he never thought he would. He briefly considered that maybe the last fragment of sanity had left him which would explain why he was standing here.

The place all soldiers avoid like a plague.

Yes. Hanji Zoe's door.

He fisted his palm and knocked on the door.

No answer.

It isn't too late to turn back. He mused.

Before he could do so, the door flew open and hit him in his face.

"Ah Levi." A voice chirped from behind his hands, which were now rubbing his face.

He immediately glared and scowled at her.

"To what could I owe this pleasure?"

"Eren and Mikasa." He replied.

Hanji, not expecting an answer for the rhetorical question she asked raised an eyebrow.

"Oya? Details. Details."

So with much shouting, crashing, twitching, cursing among other things Levi recounted everything to our resident psychopath.

"Ahhhhh." Hanji squealed. "I wish I was present there. Who knows? I could escalate the things between them. That would be fun to watch."

"Oi shitty glasses. I came here to solve this mess not to escalate it." Levi scowled.

"You shouldn't but in my plans, Levi. After all you have no love experience."

"Like you have any."

"I'm telling you. I had plenty of boyfriends."

"Oh? Pray tell me how many?"

Hanji did a counting motion.

"63."

"Why haven't I ever seen them anywhere near you?"

"What are you saying Levi. You've met them all. You do remember Sawney and Bean from last month, don't you?"

Silence.

"Hanji." Levi started in a matter of fact way. "Are those by any chance, titans?"

"Of course." She answered cheerfully. "What else would they be?"

Levi facepalmed.

He was so screwed.

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"What are you making?" Levi peered in the black pot, suspiciously examining the brown concoction.

"Can't you tell? It's something every boy would die for." Hanji said excitedly.

"I hope you didn't include me in that category." Levi answered irritated.

Hanji ignored him and went back to her cooking.

"It's chocolate."

Levi rolled his eyes.

"And…?" He inquired.

"We're gonna give it to Eren as a proof of love." Hanji answered.

"We?"

"Indirectly from Mikasa."

"…and…?"

"Well Eren would be happy, he'd confess to Mikasa, she'll be happy and then you'll be happy too." Hanji concluded.

Levi blinked.

Twice.

"…Okay?" He said unsure.

"Great." Hanji cheered.

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Levi cursed whichever deity that had possessed him to say okay.

Theoretically, the plan seemed acceptable.

That was, when they were not including external, unpredictable factors that would result in a war.

Hanji, after packing the chocolate in a heart shaped package and a note saying

'To Eren

Love Mikasa."

She proceeded to drop the package in front of the boys' door.

That's when shit hit the fan.

Instead of the expected resident, it was Jean who picked the box.

He looked at the note once and tore it apart with a feral emotion etched on his face.

Unfortunately Eren, who was peering over Jean's shoulder, saw everything and the two proceeded to kick the other to the moon.

"Ooops." Hanji muttered from beside Levi, who was massaging the bridge of his nose.

If that wasn't enough, the girls had arrived because of the commotion; Mikasa picked up the torn note and pieced it together.

"It's not from me." She said loudly.

That stopped them.

"What…?" Eren asked dumfounded.

"Ha." Jean yelled in triumph. "It was a prank."

"Who?" Mikasa narrowed her eyes.

Before things went down the gutter, Hanji decided to step in.

"It was me." She announced.

"Oh."

No one really objected. It was Hanji after all.

Eren looked like a kicked puppy.

"Ah Damn." He shouted. "I was going to confess to Mikasa."

Everyone stopped in their tracks while Eren walked pass Armin, desperate to hide after his outburst.

Suddenly Mikasa grabbed him and kissed him directly on the lips.

Everyone froze again and Connie even whistled.

Jean paled and would have fainted if it were not for Armin holding him.

After a full minute, Levi had had enough.

That was ample help these brats were getting out of him.

"Alright, that's more than enough you lovebirds. Break it up. If you guys don't get back to your rooms in ten minutes, you're going to clean the stables with a toothbrush tomorrow." He threatened.

Those who were enjoying the drama groaned and went to bed. Armin and Reiner had to drag Jean inside.

"See. I told you it'll work out." Hanji grinned.

"You got lucky, Four-eyes."

Hanji just smiled and skipped back to her room.

Eren and Mikasa smiled at each other and headed back to their rooms.

Before Mikasa could enter hers, she heard Levi say,

"Your welcome… Imouto."

She smiled genuinely, second time that night.

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Omake

The next day

"Where's Erwin?" Levi asked the cadet in Erwin's office.

"He's in bed, Captain Levi." The cadet saluted.

"…why?"

"Apparently he ate something and is not feeling well." The cadet said, choosing his words carefully.

"And pray tell me what that was?" Levi narrowed his eyes.

The cadet lowered his voice.

"I'm not sure, sir. But rumor is …it was chocolate."

Levi resisted the urge to bang his head on the wall.

The cadet saluted and went on his way.

And Levi went to eradicate the existence of a titan loving menace from this world, permanently.

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Japanese Terminologies (in case anyone is not aware)

Aniki: Older Brother

Imouto: Little sister