This is a work of fiction:

All characters seen in the story are either purely fan-made or from the X man's movies/ Marvel comics. I only own my own OC characters.

Thanks again to my Beta: lizzieBdarcy! You're the best! Check out her stories, they are amazing.

Song: Calm after the storm – Common Linnets

Tada! Another chapter before the month is done, you guys are welcome! Hope you all enjoy this chapter. It's like I said a few weeks ago things need to get worse first before they can get better and even though our two lovers are both dealing with their own problems now they are going to be reunited again soon.

Oh the anticipation.

To my reviewers:

Yikes, only one reviewer. I hope that doesn't mean you guys didn't like the chapter!

Allana Winchester: Ah thank you for the praise, hope the buildup of this chapter and the next few chapters will be good enough for you! And well right now things are pretty well in the country I live. We have had a few rough weeks but it seems our government knows what they are doing. Things are looking up now, and even though I think there isn't anyone in the world that doesn't know someone who died because of Covid-19 there are also still a lot of people that are cured.

So let's stay hopeful everyone. Humanity has dealt with a lot throughout the years and if there is one thing we have learned it is that we are capable of amazing things as long as we work together and listen to those with the right knowledge.

So keep the social distancing, stay home when you can and most of all, stay safe.

Much love from me.

I could say I'm sorry
But I don't wanna lie
I just wanna know if staying
is better than goodbye

Chapter 37: Calm after the storm.

The first few days after Sean and Alex left the mansion to spend the holidays at home were unsettling. Most of Katie's time was spent in the company of the younger mutants, and now that they were absence, life had become dull and dreary. Charles still spent most of his time in his office, the laboratory or the basement. Remodeling the mansion into a school had become the most important thing on his mind, and even if it was still hard to keep her lips sealed whenever she was around him she did help him wherever and however she could.

She selected which rooms would become classrooms and which could be changed into dormitories for the students to stay in. Together with Hank, they had decided on which lessons they could teach and what kind of furniture and school items they needed to buy. The prospect of having hallways filled with voices and laughter again excited her, and she was just barely able to contain her excitement.

Unfortunately, her excitement wasn't contagious.

Even when Hank had succeeded in finishing Cerebro, he still wasn't able to succeed in completing his cure. She only saw him when he left his laboratory to work in the basement, and when she did see him his mood always seemed to be dark and brooding. Charles's mood was even worse. The loss of his legs, combined with the loss of the two women he loved most in his life, had affected him deeply. His smiles were fake, his heart was aching, and the burden that he carried, pressed heavily down on already hunched shoulders. She knew that Erik's betrayal had hurt him too, but he refused to talk about the metal bender, declined to talk about anything.

The only time he had mentioned the man's name had been during a late-night game off chess.

From the moment they had finished Cerebro, Hank and Charles had used the machine to follow the World's goings-on. Though hesitant, Katie eventually coaxed some information out of him.

"He calls himself Magneto now." Charles had told her. "Together with his brotherhood, he has broken into a CIA base. He freed the female telepath we captured in Russia."

Questions, heartache, a rush of anger and confusion swirled together until it threatened to overwhelm, and so Katherine had settled on the most straightforward question to ask.

"Whose mind did you infiltrate to gather this information?"

He had refrained from answering, but his silence had been an answer enough. With the man's broken heart, there was only one person he would have trusted enough to look into whether her mind remembered him or not.

Moira.

Of course, he had looked into the life of the person who held his heart. After all, if Katie had the chance, she would have used it to find out more about the one that held hers.

Westchester 1962: December the 15th

It had already been late in the evening when she joined Charles in his office. He had invited her for a game of chess, which she accepted without hesitation. Playing with the telepath had been more fun than she'd expected, and despite losing every game, it was better than spending the evening alone.

She had made herself comfortable in one of the old leather armchairs near the fireplace when their game had started. Both mutants fell silent as they played and for a long time the only sounds in the office came from the fire crackling and the soft sound of jazz coming from the radio atop the mantle. Charles was just leaning forward in his wheelchair to move his queen when the song ended, music replaced by a news broadcast.

"The recent attacks in the southeast of Asia signal a rise in influence and power of the People's Liberation Armed Forces of South Vietnam, also known as the PLAF. Because of these recent developments, our government sees no other option than to offer aid and support to the people of Vietnam. The president has assured us that for now, no combat troops will be sent, but he has made clear that several army bases will be preparing for the worst."

The chess piece Charles was just about to move fell and rolled off the board. Confused, she watched as a weird kind of hopeless disappointment darkened his already troubled visage.

"Something wrong?" She asked, not capable of keeping her lips sealed. Charles looked up and when he explained what was troubling him a solid mass of coldness settled itself inside of her chest.

"Unfortunately for us, the conscription law is still in order. Many families will be forced to send their male members to these bases to prepare." He began. "It's unfortunate, but nothing new."

A sudden thought occurred to her; her heart leaping into her throat. "Are you worried Alex and Sean-"

He waved a hand impatiently. "Those two are the least of our concerns." He shook his head, rubbing his eyes wearily. "Consider it, Katie, you're forced to send your sons, your husbands, and fathers into the unknown. Into danger and possibly to their deaths, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. At least, you think, the younger ones are still at home." The bags under his eyes seemed to grow longer at that moment. "No matter what we try to tell them, there is nowhere 'safe' Katie but home. And if they stay home, then there are no students to be had. Our school will be over before it's even begun." He predicted gloomily.

"Aren't you overthinking things?" she asked, fighting to keep the skepticism out of her voice.

"I wish I was Katie. I wish I was."

He had been right, of course.

Charles used Cerebro the next day to see if his predictions had been correct, and even if she hated to admit it, his knowledge of human emotions and the decisions they made had been accurate. Fear had turned out to be a powerful motivator, a motivator that the US government was using as a weapon. More emergency broadcasts filled with worries and horror stories came through the airways every day, and thanks to Cerebro, they found out that the messages had done their job.

Fathers, sons, nephews, and grandsons, all of them were drafted and expected to report to the nearest military base for training. Most male mutants that Charles had found with the use of Cerebro were forced to enlist, and those that were born female stayed home, or they answered the call too, joining the military as nurses.

In a matter of a few days their newfound purpose was destroyed. The hopeful flame that had burned was extinguished by reality, and the bitter-tasting smoke it left behind was thick enough to choke in.

Westchester 1962: December the 23th

The end of December brought with it more snow than Katie had seen in years. Inch by inch, it covered the gardens with a thick white blanket, transforming the once lush landscape into a desolate winter wonder land. The only signs of life visible were the smoke billowing from the chimney, and the soft lights that flashed on and shifted through the glass windows of the mansion.

It was already late in the day. The sky had darkened, and the freezing wind was blowing around the house hard enough to make the windows shake. Inside the library it was warm. The fire in the fireplace was blazing, the popping and crackling of the logs accompanying the sound of Christmas songs that came from a record player on the small side table between the two leather armchairs. The room was cluttered with carbon boxes, each one overflowing with Christmas decorations. She'd discovered the boxes in the attic and promptly brought them down. Christmas was approaching fast, and though she hadn't celebrated it in years, she still hadn't been able to shake the feeling that she couldn't let it pass without doing anything.

Trying to bring some Christmas cheer inside the mansion had been her latest attempt at coaxing Charles and Hank out of their depressions. Despite it initially being for their benefit, Katie found her own mood lightening the more decorations she hung. And not a moment too soon. The truth that Cerebro had shown them had finally pushed both Charles and Hank off the edge into a dark abyss, and it seemed no matter what she did, there would be no helping them back up.

"Joy to the World
The Lord is come
Let earth receive her King."

The first few tunes of a new song started playing, and without even noticing herself, she softly hummed along when she recognized it. The smooth voice of Nat King Cole filled the room and accompanied her while she rummaged through ornaments. Now and then she lifted something out of the box she wanted to use to decorate the Christmas tree she was planning to cut down, already a small collection of glass Christmas balls in several colors were lying next to her.

That was another fun little secret. During one of her walks, she had found the perfect evergreen to put up. She was planning to cut it down soon and secretly hoping that once Charles and Hank had seen the decorated library, they would join her.

It was false hope but hope nonetheless.

"Joy to the World, the Savior reigns!
Let men their songs employ
while fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains"

Without looking, she reached into the box again, immediately yelping when something pierced her palm. Katie yanked her hand back, turning it around to look at the small smear of blood, the only evidence that was left behind of the wound that had been there mere seconds ago. The unexpected burst of energy that raced through her veins, however, was fierce and sudden. Her breath shuddered, her hands started to shake, and her eyes fluttered closed when the humming inside of her body rushed through in a familiar pattern she hadn't felt in weeks.

She hadn't used her mutation since the day Charles had informed her of its true nature, and she hadn't realized how much she had missed it till now. The rush died down before she was ready, and the emptiness left behind almost felt too much to bear. Her eyes burned, her throat felt clogged when a sudden rush of emotions overwhelmed her, and with a deep intake of breath, she dropped her head down to her chest.

Stop it.

She tried to force down the tremors, tried to cling to her composure.

"Katie?"

The unexpected sound of her voice made her lift her head. Charles was in the doorway of the room, looking at her, his face edged with concern.

"Everything alright?"

She forced herself to take slow, deep breaths, calming herself first before she pried her lips apart. "I'm fine." She slowly got up from her knees, hugging herself against the coldness that crept through her stomach. "Just tired."

It was strange seeing him again after days of not receiving any sign of life. The rough stubble on his cheeks had slowly grown into a small beard and accompanied with his uncut dark hair that fell below his ears and over his forehead it created a ragged appearance. His tired and bloodshot eyes roved over the room, narrowing when he took in all the decorations that covered every inch of the library. "It looks like you've been busy." He quietly commented with a small smile when he pushed his chair inside.

She answered him with a deep intake of breath "Well, it's almost Christmas, and I didn't want to let it pass without celebrating it."

He stopped his chair in front of one of the boxes and peered inside. "Where did you find them?"

"The attic."

"Ah, so that's where my mother stored them." Even the smile remained on his lips, his eyes turned sad. "I haven't seen these in years."

"Well, then it's a good thing, right? That we're using them again." She waved her hand over the collections of glass Christmas balls she had already arranged on the ground. "I was also thinking about cutting down a pine tree tomorrow and bringing it in here. Maybe we can all decorate it together on Christmas Eve?"

Charles stared at her, eyes filled with something she couldn't quite place, and before she could give it any more thought, he spoke." Katherine.-"

Every time he used her full name, she hadn't liked what had followed it, and without even realizing it, every muscle in her body tensed when she heard it.

"There is something-" He paused, unsure before he continued." I just got off the phone with Alex." The mentioning of the young mutant's name immediately put her on edge.

She didn't like the edge.

"Oh, did he tell you when he's coming back?" Even to her ears, the cheer sounded false.

"He called me to inform me that he and Sean decided that they would answer the government's call."

Everything inside of her froze. Several emotions crashed like waves against the walls she had built. Concern, sadness, anger, and frustration, all of them were rushing through her as fast as the blood could pump to her brain. The hope from earlier, such a small flicker she'd tried to stoke and build, was snuffed out without ceremony. "Please tell me you told him no." The harsh edge in her voice made him cringe.

He stared at her silently for a few seconds before he spoke again. "I have no control over their actions, i'm their friend, not their boss. They're allowed to make their own choices."

Liar.

Anger was the first emotion that broke through the carefully built wall inside of her. Unable to stop, the words left her lips like bullets from a riffle. "Really? Because when you were telling ME what to do, none of that mattered."

Every muscle in Charles's body went tense, his jaw bulging as he replied tensely. "That's different."

Frustration was the second emotion that broke through her walls. "Different, how exactly?"

"You're being unreasonable, Katherine." The onslaught of her emotions and thoughts made Charles cringe in pain. He shook his head, his fingers going to the sensitive skin between his eyes to ease some of it.

"Unreasonable?" She scoffed. "How is asking for your help unreasonable?"

"I'm not doing this, "He shook his head, dropping the fingers from his face back to the wheelchairs wheels. "We already had this argument many times over the past few weeks. I already gave you my answer, and it will not change."

"Coward." She spat back.

Both mutants glared at each other as a heavy silence settled between them. Seconds passed until, with a shake of his head, Charles was the first to break eye contact. He looked away from her, his face contorted in pain under the heavy pressure of her thoughts, and unable to stay longer, he steered the wheelchair around.

Without another word, another glance over his shoulder, he left. And Katie was alone again.

She remained standing in the middle of the room for a long time after the sound of wheels on the wooden floor had disappeared. Something wet and warm trickled down her cheek, and when she brought her hand up to inspect what it was, she found her fingers were wet.

Tears?

It couldn't be tears, because she had promised herself she wouldn't cry.

She hadn't cried when Erik had broken her heart and left; She hadn't cried when Moira had forgotten all about her; She hadn't cried when Hank had locked himself off from her, hadn't cried when Charles had done the same.

So why cry now?

More tears continued to fall, one after the other, and there was a pained whimpering that she didn't recognize as her own until her legs gave out and she sank into the couch. Their hope was gone, Charles peace and smiles were gone, Alex and Sean were gone-

Oh god. The boys. Her foolish, messy, eager boys.

Her hands clutched her chest as the pieces broke, and for the first time in ages, Katie cried.

Westchester 1962: December the 24th

She didn't know how long she had laid in her bed, but outside her window, the night sky had lightened. The sobbing went on for hours; with hysterical tears, she had been unable to stop dampening her pillow. When there were no more tears to cry, she lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, exhausted.

There was pressure inside of her chest, an awful numbness that left her limp. It created a powerful vacuum, a familiar emptiness that she recognized immediately. It was strange to feel it again, this familiar but unwelcome feeling that draped over her body and weighed her down. She had only felt it once before, after she had killed James. The grief that had overtaken her after burying him had been paralyzing, and for weeks she had laid in her bed, unable to sleep, unable to move. Back then she had allowed sadness to consume her and she hadn't fought back when it had swallowed her whole.

Never again.

And though it was tempting to slip back into old habits, she knew she couldn't. She would never again succumb to the same fear and failures that had once controlled every aspect of her life, not when she'd only just found herself.

Just one day.

Just for now, she would allow herself to feel grief for her losses, and when she'd flushed the darkness out of her system, she would get up again.

Just one day.

With a deep breath she filled her lungs, letting it escape from her chest with another. She closed her eyes and shifted to the side, pressing her face in the pillow as she curled up again. In the early morning, the mansion was silent. It made her miss the sounds of the city, the sound of people as they talked, laughed and cried at all hours of the day. The sound of car horns and engines and the shouts of street vendors as they tried to sell their goods. The energy of New York had always been able to perk her up, no matter how saddened she had been, and even if she had been on her own, she had never felt as alone as she had felt the last few weeks.

The sudden thought of leaving was fleeting but strong enough to leave an imprint.

Her eyes fluttered open, and another breath escaped before she slowly pushed herself up. She slid over to her side of the bed, her bare feet touching the cold wooden floor first before she knelt down beside it. With one heavy tug her battered leather suitcase was dragged out from underneath, and with a long shuddering breath she lifted the lid of the suitcase to let it fall back on the floor.

Besides a thick white envelope that was lying on the bottom the suitcase was empty. She sat back on her heels and reached for it, her fingers trembling when she picked it up. The flap had simply been tucked, and when she turned it upside down and shook it, the contents fell into the suitcase.

Everything of her past lay in a heap.

A heavily crinkled death certificate, photos of her grandmother and James, several illegal passports, a stack of money, and last but not least the two latest addition to her collection.

The necklaces.

One belonging to the man she had loved in another lifetime, and one belonging to the man she loved in this one, even if she wished it wasn't so. Tentatively, she reached for the last item she had stored. She lifted it up, cradling the medallion in her hand. The necklace was not quite as heavy as she remembered, yet it was weighted down with sentiment

"You're perfect Katherine."

Erik had never been one of many words, but he had been there when she doubted herself and he had always believed in her. There was no forgetting him, try as she might; she missed him. She missed the wry grin when he teased her, the soft gentle smile when she was in his bed, and that damned smirk and the equally attractive intensity behind his eyes every time she caught him looking her way. But most of all, she missed his complete confidence in her no matter the situation, the strength he encouraged in her when she was feeling low.

"You can do anything you put your mind to."

An unexpected and loud knock on the door set her heart pounding. Her head snapped up and when the second knock followed swiftly she dropped the necklace back inside the suitcase before closing the lid. By the time they began knocking for a third round, she was at the door swallowing back her annoyance at their impatience. Hank's hand was in the middle of the air, ready to hit the door a fourth time as she opened it. His yellow eyes widened in surprise, the small glint of concern that appeared in their depths made it easy to know what he was thinking.

She must have looked terrible.

Her jeans and sweater were wrinkled from tossing and turning all night. Her hair was tousled, her eyes were red-rimmed and she knew without looking in the mirror that faint lines of fatigue were clearly visible around her eyes and mouth.

Forcing a smile, she straightened up. "Yes Hank, can I help you?"

A blue furred eyebrow went up while the clear dismissive sound of her voice resonated around them. "I was looking for you, you weren't in the kitchen this morning." Carefully and a bit unsure he stuffed both hands in the pockets of his lab coat before he continued. "Are you alright Katie?"

For a small moment her stomach tightened. No matter her pain, Hank was still there. Erik, Moira, Raven Alex and Sean may have been gone, but there was still someone there with her, on her side.

"I'm fine." She lied, stepping back and allowing him entrance to her room. She made her way back to her bed, taking a seat on the mattress. "I fell asleep in my clothes, you woke me when you knocked" She hated lying, but she was too tired to explain the truth.

He slowly followed her inside. It was strange seeing him out of his laboratory. He had always looked right at home whenever he was hunched over a microscope, but here in her room he looked awfully out of place. His eyes roved over the room carefully before he looked back at her. "Katie, I – " He started carefully, "There is a reason I was looking for you."

He'd lost things too, right alongside her and Charles. Perhaps he'd even spent some time in his lab the way she just had in her room.

"What is it?"

Maybe he'd gotten lonesome or was hungry, she'd always made everyone's meals. They could make one together now maybe, that would be just the thing to-

"I wanted to ask you if I could have another sample of your blood."

Her dark mood seized her once more, anger alongside it. Of course he hadn't looked for her because he was concerned. He searched for her because he needed something. That's all she was now. She didn't even bother with trying to hide the bitterness in her voice. "Why?"

He straightened up. "Well I want to look into every possibility." His voice was even and calm, but there was a desperation, a hopelessness behind it that she had never heard before. "So far I haven't been able to succeed."

Even with his changed physique he looked young when he spoke, and the sight of him as he stood in her room, wringing his hands together as he waited for her to answer made her feel uneasy. With only the slightest of hesitation she held out her arm. "Take what you need." She muttered after a deep intake of breath. Even if she wanted to say no, she knew she couldn't, not when he looked so helpless.

Someone needed her, that was what mattered, wasn't it?

Without missing a beat he had reached her. He sat beside her, and reached inside the pockets of his lab coat to take out a needle and a syringe. So he'd planned this. She wondered if he'd had any qualms about asking or if he had intended to stay until she said yes. Katie looked away when he took her arm in his furred hands. She pressed her eyes shut when she felt the cold needle entering through the soft skin of her arm. The instant rush of energy made her shudder. She breathed in deeply, pushing back the whining buzz of her mutation as it tried to heal the small puncture wound the needle made. The cold, delicate metal burned inside of her skin when Hank finally pulled it out and relieved she let out the breath she had been unconsciously holding.

The energy rolled through her body as soon as she released her hold. She cherished the rush, no matter how small it was.

The bed creaked beside her when Hank got up. She took another deep breath to calm her emotions before she opened her eyes to look at him. The feral was looking down at the blood filled vial in his hands, his lips pressed together and eyes narrowed as his mind was already working on everything he could do with the sample he had taken from her.

The donor was already forgotten.

Slowly she got up from the bed too. "You really think it can help?"

"We hope so." He responded without ever taking his eyes from the vial in his claw.

We hope so?

Her eyes narrowed in caution when the word slip past his lips. "We?"

His head snapped up and he looked at her, leveling her with a strange, surprised gaze. "What?"

"You said we? Who's we?"

"Did I said we?" He was scrambling and because of it the numbness was returning, blanketing everything with a roar in her ears.

"Yes, you did. So you and who else hope so, exactly?" The paranoia that filled her immediately took control over her mouth, and with each more word that escaped from the back of her throat the accusation in her voice grew. "It's Charles isn't it?"

He stared at her silently, the gears behind his eyes working as he was trying to come up with the right words to say. She continued before they could come to him. "So was it his idea? To take my blood? For what?"

Hank stepped back to create some distance, she stepped forward following him as more questions escaped from the back of her throat. "Why does he wants my blood? And why is he hopeful that you will find something?"

His back hit the wall behind him and instantly he held up both hands in defense, the vial of blood clenched between his fingers. "Katie please-"

"No. You two have kept things from me before. I won't let it happen again, so tell me why he needs my blood." She received no answer, all he did was stare at her. The silence fanned the flames of her ire. "Fine. If you're not capable of answering me, then let's ask Charles shall we?" Without waiting for an answer she turned away from him, hastily making her way to the door.

"No Katie wait!"

She ignored him. Without a response she marched out of the bedroom, and into the empty hallway. A whisper inside suggested she ought to cool down, speak to Charles when she was more collected. But she had been collected, the only one in the whole damn house to keep it together while the others wallowed. All the anger, the frustration and the heartache of the past few weeks began to rise, churning and pushing her onward. Behind her Hank called her name again as he followed her in the hallway, but she was quicker. Her bare feet pounded on the wooden floors when she reached the telepaths room. The door was closed and had it been locked she might have just kicked it in. As it was, she flung it open without stopping.

"Katie!"

Hank called out her name again but she silenced him by throwing the door closed behind her. The harsh sound woke Charles up from his slumber, he bolted upright in his bed gasping loudly for breath. "Katie?" He questioned sleepily the moment he saw her lock the door with a flick of her wrist.

The feral's fist beat on the locked door behind her, and again Hank shouted her name. She ignored it, flicking the light switch beside the door on before she rounded on the telepath, spitting out her words angrily.

"Care to explain why you hope that my blood can help you?"

The unexpected light that immediately brightened the room made him squeeze his eyes and he had to blink a few times to adjust his eyes to the light. "What?" he sat up straighter in his bed, using his hands he pushed himself to sit against the wooden headboard.

"My blood Charles." She repeated through her teeth.

He closed his eyes and exhaled with a soft groan, "What are you tal-?"

"NO." She wasn't going to be put off again. "Why do you want my blood? I understand why Hank might need it, but you, who was so dead set against me using my mutation in the first place, why should you need it?" Charles reeked of alcohol, and the closer she got, the stronger the smell became, making it obvious that he had most likely drunk himself to sleep again.

He moaned, his eyes squeezed shut in pain when her rapid thoughts and emotions invaded his already weakened mind. "Katherine please-"

"Stop calling me that. You don't get to call me that!" She snapped. "Now answer me. Why the ever living fuck do you need my blood?"

He turned his face towards her. His once clear blue eyes filled with pain and suffering. He tried to shift but his lifeless legs remained still on the mattress. The frustration on his face stayed there when the frown deepened between his eyes. "You- you wouldn't understand."

"Then explain it to me."

Finally, that seemed to bring some life, some heat back to his eyes. He chuckled, mockingly "Explain it to you?" He laughed again, cold and cruel. "You want me to explain what it is like, knowing you will never walk again? To each day rise- oh wait. You can't." His laughter broke off as he ran a hand over his unshaven face. "You can't…" The near empty bottle of scotch still sat on the nightstand, he reached for it with a shaking hand. Unfortunately for him, Katie was quicker. Her fingers wrapped around the bottle's neck before his own could touch it, and without looking away from him she slung the bottle across the room. It hit the wall next to the door. Charles flinched at the sound of breaking glass.

His self-pity made her blood boil. "So what, you drown yourself in alcohol? Hide yourself away from everyone that cares about you?" His hands weren't the only ones shaking, and she clasped them into fists to keep them from doing so. "You think you're the only one that is suffering?"

All at once, his shoulders tightened. His eyes went cold and hard, fury turning them to flints of steel. "Suffering? What can you know about suffering?" He hissed.

She opened her mouth to defend herself but he would have none of it.

"You feel only your pain." He sneered. "The misery that engulfs you, it's like a bloody blanket that you people just CONTINUOUSLY wear all. The. Time."

His anger evolved, and even without the use of his legs he grew taller before her very eyes.

"You know NOTHING about pain, about heartache. Hank, hiding in his lab and you in your kitchen. What you feel, it fills one person. But me? I don't get the gift of my own hurts, oh no." He laughed and the words ended on a scream. "No, I GET. TO FEEL. EVERYONE'S SUFFERING." He smacked his temple, beating his hand against the side of his head. "RIGHT IN HERE. EVERY. GODDAMN. DAY."

"Charles-"

"Your agony, Hank's distress, my own failings my own USELESS FUCKING LIMBS. All of it, I feel it always, constantly and never ending. I want it to end Katie, I deserve for it to end, it- it has to.. I just… I want…" His eyes were full and still, he blinked them away with practiced ease. The fight left him, and he slumped back down onto his pillows with his hands shoving through his hair to self soothe.

She felt her own eyes burn when she watched him break down. It hurt her to see him like that, weakened and shattered. He couldn't go on like this, none of them could.

It made the decision easy.

"I've had enough of this self-pity" She started, and as if he had already knew her intension, his eyes narrowed.

"Katherine" He warned.

She ignored it and stepped closer. "I'm going to heal you Charles, and you are going to get up and you are going to get a grip on yourself."

He sat up straighter on the bed, when she moved closer. "I told you, you can't use it! The risks are too great." He tried to make his voice sound strict, but she didn't listen.

"Like I told you weeks ago. It's my decision how I use my powers, and I'm no longer going to deny what I am." She placed one knee on the bed, reaching out to him, but she'd already beaten him once and Charles wasn't going to let it happen again. In a flash her body was frozen, muscles unable to obey her brain's command. Realization and then understanding dawned as she could only watch while Charles put a finger to his temple and entered her thoughts.

He was breathing in slowly, his eyes narrowing when a command echoed in the back of her mind.

"Leave"

The response of her body was alarming, her hands fell limply to her side and slowly without being able to stop it she stepped back and away from the bed. Her already shattered emotions rose to the surface and panic along with them. Her body was not her own, her lips would not move to form the words.

So instead, she used her thoughts.

"Stop it." She ordered.

"Leave."

"Stop it! I'm not your doll, how dare you use your telepathy against me?!" She mentally screamed. It was all she had, hoping he could hear her thoughts. And he did hear them, for he slowly shook his head, his clear blue eyes wet, his face ashen.

"If you are allowed to use your mutation any way you want to, then so can I." He told her without hesitation.

" Now. Leave."

The command rushed through her body again and with one last pained glare his way she was forced to listen. She turned away, her legs moving on his demand to the door. She undid the lock, opening the door with shaking hands. Hank was still waiting on the other side. His eyes roved over the telepath on the bed first before he looked at her, and when he met her burning gaze he quickly looked away down to his feet. There would be no help there, she didn't know why she was surprised.

Angrily she slammed the door behind her, for he at least allowed her that and once it was done his hold broke. Without acknowledging the feral, her bare feet swiftly returned her to the safety of her own room.

The painful beating inside of her chest propelled her forward, and before even a single tear had escaped her burning eyes she had picked up her suitcase and thrown it on the mattress.

He didn't need his mutation anymore. She would heed his command without it.

"Leave"

She was leaving.

New York 1962: December the 24th

The snow covered streets of New York were abandoned at the late hour, and the alleyway between two apartment's buildings, in which he was hiding, was dark and cold. The metal benders breath was visible in the chill, his eyes focused on the front door of a club that was right across the street. Two bulky guards in black suits where standing right in front of the door, and though they did not wear their weapons visibly, he could sense the metal of their guns in the jacket of their suits.

Every time the door opened loud music filled the otherwise empty streets, and every time someone left or entered the club he could see the bouncers tense. It was clear they weren't normally bouncer, everything around them screamed military. From the way they stood, to the cautious way their eyes shifted around the streets to analyze everything. He had expected that their target would be well protected, but he had been surprised to find that the CIA had outsourced his safety to the military.

Even though Emma Frost had told him where the man would be, she had neglected to inform him about his extra guards. The lack of information made his jaw tighten with annoyance at, his eyes narrowing as he kept them settled on the door.

Raven had walked into the club two hours hour ago, and though he had understood that getting information without getting noticed took time, the more minutes passed the more frustrated he was becoming. It had never been his intention to send the young woman in, he had wanted to use Angel at first but the disturbing news that amateur photos and an 8mm film had resurfaced with footage of what had happened on the beach in Cuba had forced his hand. He couldn't take a risk now, not when there was a possibility the government knew what they looked like, not when the government had material that showed humanity what they could do.

Emma had been the one that had informed them of the news. She had picked up the information when she had been imprisoned by the CIA. Edwin Partridge was the name she had given him. It was the name everyone at the CIA had whispered, the name of the man that had gathered all the evidence for their existence. Finding him had been harder than he had expected, but after weeks of searching they had tracked him down.

The door of the nightclub opened, once again the streets filled with the loud sound of music as a dark skinned woman with short black hair walked outside. The waitress outfit was tight on her, the black skirt far too short, the white top unbuttoned to reveal more cleavage than would have been presentable in a cleaner night club. She looked to the left and right before she stepped forward to cross the street, but before one foot could step down from the sidewalk one of the bouncers stopped her.

"Wait a second" The man to the left of the door stepped forward, his hand wrapping around her bicep to stop her from stepping away.

With a flirty grin the woman turned his way. "What's wrong sugar?" Her sweet voice and the seductive curve of her lips as she smiled up at him did its work, for he instantly released her and stepped back.

"Where are you going?" He asked gentler than he had before.

"Going to get my cigarettes from my car." She shivered in the cold, rubbing her arms up and down. "I parked it just across the street in the parking lot behind those buildings." She waved her hand towards the alleyway in which he was hiding, and when both bouncers followed her hand with their eyes he stepped back further in the shadows to make sure he stayed invisible.

"You can have one of mine." The bouncer reached into his jacket, lifting out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He held it out to her and though her expression was startled by the offer for a few seconds it soon slipped back into a flirty smile.

"Oh Honey." She started. "I only smoke menthols." She brushed the fingers of one hand over her neck. "They're kinder on my throat."

The bouncer looked at her, assessing for a few seconds before he stuffed the pack of smokes back in his jacket. "Okay but hurry up, it's way too cold to be out here." He stepped back next to the door, hands clasped in front of him as he took position again.

"Don't worry I'll be back before you know it," She winked at him before she turned, stepping off the sidewalk and crossing the street. Her high heels clicked on the pavement beneath her, when she increased the distance between them.

Soon she stepped in the darkness of the alleyway.

Her eyes darted around, searching for anything moving or lurking in the darkness, and when she finally saw where he was leaning against the wall she smiled. "How long have you been waiting here?" She asked, her eyes shifting to yellow first before the rest of her body followed. Before he had been able to push himself of the wall to take a step closer, the familiar body of Raven was right in front of him.

"I was waiting for you." He replied. "You weren't at the rendezvous point an hour ago-"He took off his long black coat when he saw her shiver, holding it out to her. "I came to see what the holdup was."

"Yeah sorry about that" She drawled as she took the offered coat from him, putting it on to shield her blue skin from the cold wind that howled around them. "It took me longer than I had expected to get close to him?"

"Did you find what we needed?" He asked softly.

She nodded slowly, stuffing her hands in the pockets of his coat as they began to walk along. "Emma was right. He has evidence, he wasn't even keeping it silent. He was waving those pictures around like it was money and he was in a strip club."

"Did you get a good look at them?"

Again she nodded. "The pictures were blurry, taken from afar. So I wouldn't be too worried about them. "She licked her dry lips, breathing in deeply before she spoke again. "But I think there's something else we should be worried about."

His feet stopped and curiously he looked at her when she continued.

"The bastard didn't shut up about this new project that supposedly was given to him by the government."

"What project?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know, but he called it project WideAwake."

Not knowing what the government was planning was alarming, and because of it a strange anxious feeling crept over him. It tickled the back of his neck, forcing his feet forward again. "We have to find out what this project is, and we have to find out fast." He decided.

Raven agreed with a nod. "So what's the plan?"

He lifted his head to stare at the roofs of the surrounding buildings. His searching eyes stopped when he found a shape of a man on top of one, and when he inclined his head a cloud of red smoke appeared in front of him. Azazel bowed his head when the smoke billowed, and without missing a beat Erik spoke.

"For now we will return to the safe house, we need to inform the others of your findings." He held out his hand towards Raven, and understanding what he wanted she slipped her fingers into his own. Azazel reached for his other hand, and within a blink of an eye, the three of them were gone.

TBC

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xxxx

Mira