A/N: Hellooo, I hope everyone had a lovely break and are ready for the New Year. This chapter is later than I wanted, but I had a severe case of writer's block. A reminder that this story is rated M for a reason, there may be some scenes in this that readers find upsetting, so proceed with caution! Hope you all enjoy xx

Goodbye to the Sunshine

"James, please comb your hair!"

"It's fine mum! No one cares."

"I care! I care very much! What will people say?"

"That-" Euphemia Potter gave her son a terrifying look from the hospital bed and he immediately quieted down.

He had just stopped by to see her before he was driven to the village hall, where the dance was being held. She had looked approvingly at his (apparently semi-formal, but who knew?) suit and straightened up his tie for him (he would most likely lose it by the end of the night anyway). His hair was characteristically messy and his glasses were polished to a shine. She was looking very disappointedly at the scruffy trainers on his feet, but he claimed his toe hurt and he couldn't wear smart shoes.

"You're incorrigible, James Potter," she sighed. She was much better and would soon be discharged. She was sitting up and talking, and had even met Lily a few times.

Overall: James couldn't have been happier. He winked at her, then kissed her cheek and hurried out. "Bye Mum!"

Dorcas twirled in front of the mirror again. "Hair up, or down?"

"You look beautiful whatever, Dor."

She pouted. "Mary, at least try and answer!"

Sighing, Marlene glanced up from her makeup case and squinted at Dorcas. "Up. It's more distinguished."

Dorcas set about creating an elaborate up-do, admiring the pretty yellow fabric of her dress. It was a very pale yellow and it suited her well, making her seem golden. In fact, Dorcas was practically glowing anyway – though from excitement or just happiness, the girls weren't sure.

Mary had gone for blue. She liked blue. Her dress was simple, but she liked it.

Alice was gorgeous in pink taffeta. She had let Dorcas do her makeup and her usual curls were ironed out. She glimpsed herself in the mirror and actually smiled.

All the other girls had dresses that came down to their calves (as was expected for a school dance). Marlene had decided against that, and was wearing a black halter-neck that showed more than an appropriate amount of cleavage and stopped – scandalously – just above the knee.

Lily was wearing green. The dress suited her beautifully and accentuated her figure nicely. She had tucked her hair into a high bun, letting soft waves fall down around her face, and she had worn light makeup. She now leant against the mirror in the bathroom, watching her friends flitter about. There was a worrying amount of glitter around, she thought. There was probably some on her, but so far she was unaware of it. She wasn't looking forward to this. Her belly ached and the thought of tottering around in heels made her feel sick. Her earrings felt uncomfortable and the pins in her head already hurt. She sighed as Dorcas came towards her with glitter. Momentarily, she thought about escape, but decided surrender would be easier in the end.

James had been standing with Sirius for around ten minutes. They were sharing a cigarette and hopping from foot to foot in the chilly night. Sirius had not dressed up – much. He had on smart trousers, a nice shirt and his boots and leather jacket. James supposed he needed it. Where else would he put his ciggies?

"Alright?" Remus walked up slowly, favouring his good leg. "It's bloody cold out here."

Sirius nodded, then offered the cigarette. Remus refused politely and James gave him a quick smile of sympathy. Sirius's eyes flickered between the two of them curiously.

"Hello!" came a cheery voice, as Peter scurried up to them, wearing a… bowtie?

"Peter," James said, bemused, "You look smashing, mate."

Sirius nodded. "Mm. Not many men could pull it off Peter, but you might just be managing."

Peter beamed and then settled into the group, having a couple of puffs of the cigarette and nearly choking each time.

Frank turned up too, looking very cold. He cracked a joke and huddled into the odd circle the boys had made, taking the cigarette for a puff, and then declaring himself done.

Five more minutes passed and they heard the clipping of heels. The five girls rounded the corner, laughing. Dorcas sprang up to the doors and unlocked them quickly, practically skipping with excitement. Marlene slung her arm round Sirius and ruffled his hair. He scowled at her and she pretended not to notice, instead nabbing the cigarette and taking a good long draw, before passing it to Mary. Mary wrinkled her nose.

"No thanks," she said, "God knows how many people have used that by now. It's unhygienic!"

The boys blushed.

Mary looped arms with Remus, plopping a kiss on his cheek before pulling him inside. "Come on Lupin, it's far too cold out here."

The rest of the filed in, Frank giving Alice a quick peck (she blushed) and Peter trailing behind the respective couples.

James sidled over to Lily. He was fairly gobsmacked – her dress was nothing like the tight, red one she had worn to the Prewett party, but he thought she had never looked so beautiful.

"Hello," he whispered.

Lily smiled. "Hello."

James then grabbed her round her waist, hoisted her up and kissed her thoroughly. She snuck her arms around his neck and gripped on tightly, enjoying being the taller party for once. James slowly slid her to the ground and she broke the kiss, wincing slightly and massaging her belly.

"Are you alright?" he asked worriedly. He knew about her…. Women's troubles, but how long did those last? It had been over a week, surely?

She smiled tightly. "I'm fine. Let's go in."

The village hall had been transformed (somewhat). There were lots of fairy lights and food that had been cooked by lots of mothers across the community. A trestle table had been set up and was loaded with all of these dishes and lots of drinks. Teachers were already present, patrolling the perimeters. They gave in their tickets and walked onto the large open space of the hall, cleared for dancing. There was a corner filled with records, with a flustered looking Father Wick trying to sort through the piles. Chairs were all around, for people to collapse on and to top it all off, there was even a disco ball. Streamers had been added and a few balloons. Dorcas had flung confetti where she could and was currently dancing with the rest of the people who had arrived.

Sirius was spiking the punch, when Slughorn caught him. "You know that isn't allowed, Sirius," he whispered, wagging his finger. Then he looked around and muttered, "Here, do it whilst I'm shielding you." Sirius smiled and poured the rest of the liquor into the bowl.

Other people began to filter in, and before long the dance was in full swing. Lily found herself enjoying it. She was able to forget about her pains a little bit, instead she danced wildly, and laughing as Queen played loudly through the halls. "Don't stop me now!" James mouthed as he did a rather terrible air guitar. Everyone was sweating and moving and letting go. There were rarely slow songs – and if there were, then oftentimes people began singing along to the words.

When "Summer Nights" came on, they had to cover their ears from all the screaming. Lily was tugged into her friends, who were all avid Grease friends and she could see James laughing at her, from where she was trapped amid their terrible Olivia Newton-John impersonations.

The entire group finally melded together to belt out the lyrics – with considerable force – to Gloria Gaynor. "At first I was afraid! I was petrified!" they screeched out, near dead for laughing.

Eventually, the teachers seemed to think the students needed to cool down a little. They then started to play slow songs.

James had gotten Lily something to drink and naively, she downed it without thinking and nearly choked on the amount of whisky Sirius had poured in it.

James smirked and held out his hand. "Shall we?"

They got up and began to slow dance amongst the other couples. Frank and Alice were rocking back and forth gently. Sirius and Marlene were giggling and twirling each other around. Remus politely stood a respectful few inches away from Mary as they swayed. James merely pulled Lily closer and began to sway gently with the music. She tucked her head into his chest and sighed happily.

"I love this song," she whispered.

"Yeah?" James licked his lips, glancing up for a second, as if he would see an answer on the ceiling. "What is it?"

"It's Billy Joel. 'She's Always a Woman'. It's just... so raw? Do y'know? You can tell he's really feeling it. Something about it just takes my breath away slightly."

James tilted her chin up slightly and kissed her gently on the lips. "You're weird. You know that?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I know."

They stared at each other for a bit, oblivious to the rest of the world.

They were so oblivious, that they didn't notice Marlene excuse herself.

They didn't notice Bellatrix follow Marlene.

They didn't realise until too late.

Peter felt bored.

And pissed.

But mostly bored.

His pissed-ness was twofold: he was pissed in the sense that he had soused himself in the highly alcoholic punch. He was also pissed that everyone had a date but him.

Peter was sitting by himself, just watching them all. They got him up for the big group dances, but now they were all just swaying and giving each other lovey eyes.

Peter hated it.

He could feel resentment bubbling up inside him, a dark liquid that oozed from some part of him that was not often shown. His blue eyes, that people normally seemed to regard as 'soft', hardened. They were two ice chips in his face, his mouth set in a grimace and his eyebrows drawn together in contemplation. His mousy hair framed his face, throwing it into shadows a little and his thin, thin fingers clasped together as he rested his pointed chin on his hands.

In that pose of thought and with shadows creeping up his face, illuminating his bones and making him appear gaunt, the small, quiet boy began to look different. There seemed a sinister cast to his features and several people regarded him warily.

Peter didn't notice. He stared at the ground, barely blinking. Slowly, his lips curved into a smile.

Sirius found Peter in that pose not long after. He regarded his friend warily for a minute, then he shook his shoulder gently. "Have you seen Marly?"

The hardness in Peter's eyes melted slightly and he looked up at Sirius, surprised. "Sorry?"

Sirius shook his head. "Never mind, mate."

She had said she was going to the toilet. She had not come back from the toilet. He spied Lily and James and went over to ask them.

"Have you two seen Marly?"

They broke from their little world to look at him.

"Marly?" Lily looked confused. "Last I saw her, she was with you."

He shook his head. "She left around twenty minutes ago to go to the toilets. She hasn't come back and I was getting worried."

Lily nodded. "I'll help you look, she might just be having a fag in the loos."

She stepped away from James, then stumbled slightly, clutching her abdomen. Her red lips were pulled back in a grimace and she batted away the boys trying to help her.

"I'm fine," she winced, "It's nothing."

The trio went off to look. They had barely exited the hall, when Dorcas emitted a high pitched squeal and went running to the doors. Only a few people looked up from their own hazy thoughts, so she was able to greet her visitor without much fuss.

"You came," she whispered into his ear, after throwing her arms round his neck and squeezing him tightly.

He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead – unbeknownst to her, scanning the room at the same time. "Of course I came."

She took his hand, dragging him to the corner where her friends were. She glanced round and saw Mary and Remus dancing, and Alice and Frank cuddling. Where were the other two couples?

She saw Peter sitting in the corner. Dragging the man with her, she made her way over to him.

"Peter? Where has everyone gone?"

He looked at her absentmindedly, gesturing aimlessly towards the rest of the hall. "They went to look for Marlene."

Dorcas didn't quite understand what he was talking about, but decided it didn't matter. She gestured for the others to gather round. They congregated, looking curiously at the tall man at her side.

"Everyone," she was practically vibrating, beaming from ear to ear, "I would like you to meet my boyfriend. This is Barty."

Barty leaned forward, a rakish smile on his face. "Pleasure to meet you all. Barty Crouch Junior."

Lily came out of the bathroom, shaking her head. "No sign of her."

Sirius scowled, then paused suddenly. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear wha-" suddenly it came again, Marlene's distinctive voice raised in what sounded like anger.

They rushed through some corridors, before rounding a corridor and seeing Marlene pinned up against a wall by Bellatrix, surrounded by Mulciber, Snape and Avery.

Marlene and Bellatrix were both shouting profanities, with Marlene trying to aim her stiletto heels at Bellatrix's knee and Bellatrix gripping her neck on one side. It looked very painful, with her digging in her long nails. It wasn't long before Sirius ran into the mix and pulled Bellatrix forcefully off of Marlene.

She screeched, and he threw her back towards her cronies. "You crazy bitch," he spat, "What the fuck are you doing?"

Bellatrix nearly hissed in anger. "Teaching this slag her place! I warned you, cousin. We are Blacks, we are better than their filth."

Sirius shook his head. For the first time he felt genuinely afraid of her. "You're mad," he breathed, "You are fucking insane. Do you hear yourself?"

There were suddenly more voices and Mary and Remus rounded the corner, laughing. "We were sent to find…"

Their voices died away. They looked wide eyed at the dishevelled Marlene, leaning heavily against the wall, James who was hovering by Sirius – to restrain or assist him, he wasn't sure. Then, their eyes were inevitably drawn to the cousins standing in the gap between the groups.

Black versus Black. They were an intimidating sight, even in the dusty, blue corridor. Both were undeniably attractive. They shared the dark, good looks that so much of the Black family had. There was a regal air to their features, the product of a life being told they were superior. Bellatrix had always seemed deranged, a dark queen, her long dark curls flying around her and her teeth bared. The dark, swishing material of her dress only emphasised the picture. She burned with madness and revelled in cruelty.

For the first time, James saw the Black family in Sirius. He had always burned too – it was an intensity that made him so irresistible to those who met him. It was normally translated into passion, into energy. Now it fuelled a dark fire, and as Sirius threw back his head and laughed at his cousin, provoking her, his eyes seemed to show pure insanity.

"Come on then!" he laughed, "Do what you've always wanted to do, Bella. I'm the traitor after all!"

Bellatrix laughed too, then. "You think you're so above me, that you're untouchable, Sirius Black. I know better, I know what you've done." She smiled at him, her perfect white teeth gleaming, "We are not as different as you would like."

Marlene finally spoke. "What is she talking about, Sirius?"

He merely raised his hand and pointed at his cousin shakily. "Shut up."

"Go on!" Bellatrix crowed, "Tell them the truth! Tell them what you saw!"

He had gone grey. Suddenly Bellatrix surged forward and hit him square in the face. He barely flinched, he had gotten far worse before. Suddenly, Avery moved forward, as if to also hit Sirius and James found himself socking him in the nose. Avery went down, swearing up a storm, before an all-out brawl broke out. James started to take on Avery and Mulciber with Sirius, Marlene launched herself at Bellatrix, slapping and scratching and punching all she could get at. Remus and Mary clutched each other, horrified, before rushing to try and pull everyone apart. Snape hung back, but got in a few punches at James.

Lily started crying. She couldn't help it. She yelled at them all to stop but they wouldn't listen. She was slumped against the wall, her head was spinning and she felt like she was going to be sick. She suddenly felt a sharp pain from deep inside her, then looked down to see blood trickling all the way down her legs, pooling on the floor. She touched it, shaking. It painted her hand in ruby shades and she started to sob hysterically. She had no idea what was happening.

James suddenly glanced around, stopping in horror as he saw Lily covered in blood, sobbing. He slammed Mulciber against a wall where he slumped, winded. Then he skidded over to Lily, cradling her in his arms.

"I'm here, it's okay." He chanted over and over.

"What's happening," she sobbed, "what's happening?"

The rest of the hallway had grown quiet and they were looking at them in horror. Marlene hurried over to them, feeling Lily's face and stroking her hair. "Get her out of here James."

Bellatrix and her friends had run, spooked by the blood. Sirius had gore trickling from his nose and a purple bruise blooming on his high cheekbones. He said nothing, merely clenching his hands and staring at Lily.

Mary had her hands over her mouth, Remus looked ill.

James took off his jacket and draped it round her, before telling Marlene to get a teacher. She tossed her dark hair over her shoulder, and began running to find someone. Her heels made loud noises against the otherwise silent corridor. Marlene's dark makeup was smudged all over her face. She was crying, but she was unsure why.

As soon as she entered the hall, Dorcas leapt on her. "Marly! Where have you – Marly what's wrong? What's happened?"

"Lily," she gasped out, "I need a teacher, Lily needs help."

Soon they were rushing through the hallways, McGonagall on their heels. When she saw Lily, crouched on the ground and covered in the blood, McGonagall shrieked in horror. "Call her parents. Call them now!"

Mary and Marlene ended up running to the public call box, scrambling for change and arguing over Lily's number. Eventually they made the call.

"Hello? Mrs Evans? Mrs Evans you need to come, something's happened to Lily…"

Lily felt numb. Completely and utterly numb. She was sitting in the stark hospital room, James's jacket wrapped around her and the flowing, green material of her dress was spread around her. She had taken down her hair, removed her earrings. Her shoes were somewhere in her parent's car.

Her mother had her arms wrapped around her. She was crying, Lily thought, but she continued to smooth Lily's hair down and press kisses to her forehead.

Her father wouldn't even look at her. He stared out at the hospital carpark. His back was straighter than she had ever seen it and his mouth had near disappeared, he was clenching his teeth so much.

The doctor was talking to her. She couldn't really concentrate on what he was saying.

Very common, he was saying. Over half of women experience this. Was that meant to make her feel better?

Before the five week mark, he was prattling on, she wished he would just shut up. Bleeding will continue for a few days. You will see some...clotting. There may be some pain, but it is nothing to worry about.

Lily shut her eyes, wishing it would all go away. Miscarriages are never pleasant things, Miss Evans, but you will recover and go on to have children, much later in life. The doctor put a clammy hand on her arm. He was smiling at her. How dare he smile? Perhaps, in view of the circumstances, this is for the best?

With that the doctor left the room. She could feel tears slipping down her face but all she could do was stare at the ground. As the door closed, she heard his voice suddenly. They were all out there, she realised. Waiting to hear. What would people say about her?

She looked up at her mother suddenly. "C-could I see him? Please?"

Mrs Evans looked at Mr Evans, who turned around for the first time in what seemed like hours. He was seething. "You think, we will ever, let you see that boy again?"

"But-" Mrs Evans stammered out, but Mr Evans cut her off.

"No, Jane. This is our daughter that he defiled. He turned her into a-a-a," he gesticulated wildly. "A slut!"

Lily felt like she had been shot. How could her own father be talking about her like this? The man who taught her to ride a bike, who would bounce her on his knee and read her fairy tales?

Jane Evans walked over to her husband and clasped his hands. "Just give them a few minutes," she breathed, "You cannot deny them that."

Mr Evans breathed heavily, the stubble on his jaw giving him an air of unguardedness that he normally lacked. Finally he held up his hand. "You get ten minutes," he growled at Lily who shuddered away from him, "Then we go home."

He stormed out of the room, Mrs Evans following him and suddenly James was there, his arms wrapping around her thin shoulders, one hand wrapped in her hair, the other clutching her own.

"I'm so sorry, Lily." He whispered.

Lily clutched at his shirt. "They're going to make me stay away from you."

He stroked her hair. "I won't leave you."

Lily laughed without humour, pulling away from him to look in those beautiful, beautiful eyes. She mused that his eyes were what she fell in love with first. They held such emotion in them, they changed colours near-imperceptibly from day to day and whenever James tried to guard his emotions, his eyes always showed her exactly what he was feeling-

She stopped herself then. She went back – surely she hadn't meant – but she did, she realised with a jolt. She loved James Potter. All his quirks and all his faults. She hadn't even known him for long, but she really did love him.

She traced the line of his cheek, brushing away tears that had fallen there.

"I lost our baby." She said huskily.

"We weren't ready to be parents, love. It wasn't your fault."

Lily put her hands around his face, looking at him fully. There was blood smudged on his face, from where she had touched his cheek earlier. A small part of her brain began thinking about how there was still blood under her nails, that she was disgusting and broken and ruined – but she quieted it.
Instead she looked James Potter in the eyes, placed a small, but gentle kiss on his lips, and whispered, "I love you."

He blinked at her in shock, lips parting, before he leaned forward and kissed her, hard. It wasn't a kiss of desire, but it was full of meaning and unsaid words, of minutes they had lost and would lose, of promises and possibilities and of laughter and tears.

Suddenly, the door opened and Lily was being dragged away, her father gripping her by the arm as James reached out to her in vain. She flung her back to look at him, and just before the door closed, he found his voice.

"Lily, lily, I love you too!" he yelled.

Then she was gone and he was left alone in the sterile room, with Lily's blood on his cheek and a heart full of heavy words.

Sirius watched Lily be dragged out of the hospital. She was sobbing and seemed to barely see the people sat in front of her, her friends who were waiting to see if she was okay.

He looked back and saw James merely staring into space. His face was hollow and there was something dark smudged on his cheek.

That was when Sirius made up his mind. He knew what he had to do.

He ignored his friends calling after him, instead he strode out of the hospital, his long legs taking him far away before they could catch him.

He walked and walked through the bitter night. Frost was already forming and he could see his breath in great white clouds in front of him. It seemed disturbing in the otherwise dark night.

At some point he acquired a cigarette. He didn't remember lighting it, but he was grateful for the little thing to occupy his mind.

Somehow he found himself outside the office, where he had known the old man would be.

Dumbledore looked up through his half-moon spectacles.

"Sirius," he said pleasantly, looking surprised, "This is a surprise."

Sirius was breathing hard.

"I need to tell you something, Professor," he said, his voice sounding strained. "I've not told anyone else, but I need to now. It's gotten out of hand, you see."

Dumbledore's smile faded and he gestured to the chair in front of him.

"I suspected this might happen," he sighed, "Though I was not expecting it to be you. Very well, my boy. You'd best start at the beginning."

The young man and the old one sat in the quiet office, as snow began to fall outside.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please review/follow if you can, it would mean the world to me.

TrueHomiePiP: Bless you for your reviews, they are so kind. I agree, there hardly ever seems to be much talk about periods! It's something that should be normalised – but unfortunately, this time, it wasn't just a period :(. Hope you enjoyed and keep reading!

J a friend: Absolutely, bloody thank you. Your review made my day when I got it! I hope you liked this chapter and keep reading.

Happy New Year in advance everyone :) xxx