Authors notes:

Thanks to Furostomi-chan for making me think about a Doctor Who / Star Trek original series crossover. There was only one choice of story for me, and that is my favourite episode from the original series. When I started to write the story, I remembered that Rose had called the Doctor Mr Spock in "The Empty Child", which meant that the Doctor and Rose would be entering a fictional universe. Then I remembered the film "Galaxy Quest", and reversed it. Well, you'll see what I mean,

Chapter 1

Honour and Exile

Rose was roused from her slumber by the sound of knocking on wood.

'Sir? Miss?' she heard Flora, one of the Torchwood house maids call out from the other side of the door.

There was a moment of confusion caused by the fog of sleep as she recalled the events of the previous night. After the Doctor had trapped and evaporated a werewolf, they had been shown to a bedroom where they could rest until morning. Rose had left her dungaree mini dress on, and slipped off her boots. She had crawled under the covers, and fallen into an exhausted sleep.

The Doctor had taken off his pin striped jacket and put it over the back of an ornately carved chair. He had then sat on top of the covers with his back propped up with pillows. He wasn't sleeping, he was using a form of Gallifreyan meditation which performed the same purpose as sleep.

'Sir? Miss? I have breakfast,' Flora called out again.

Surely it couldn't be morning already, Rose thought.

'Come in,' the Doctor told her, and the young maid brought in a silver breakfast tray which held two bowls which had steam rising from them, and a teapot with a woolen cosy over it to keep its contents warm.

She put the tray on a chest of drawers. 'I've brought you some porridge. Eat it while it's nice and hot, and there's tea in the pot.'

Rose slid up the bed to sit with her back against the headboard as Flora handed them their porridge. 'Thank you Flora.'

'You're welcome Miss. And you Sir,' she said with a smile.

Rose sniffed the cereal uncertainly, but the Doctor scooped up a spoonful and put it in his mouth. He raised his eyebrows and pointed at the contents of the bowl with his spoon.

'Oh this is good,' he enthused. 'Nobody makes porridge like the Scots.'

Rose took a small mouthful, and her face lit up. 'Actually, that's pretty good,' she admitted.

Flora curtsied and was about to leave when she remembered a royal task she'd been asked to perform. 'Oh, before I go, her majesty as asked me to ask you where you come from.'

The Doctor stopped mid spoonful and had a wistful, far away look in his eyes. 'I'm from all over the place.'

'Oh,' Flora said, looking disappointed. 'Well, where do you call home Sir.'

He looked at Rose and smiled, before turning back to Flora. 'Tell her the TARDIS. That's my home now.'

'Very good Sir. And you Miss?' she said looking at Rose.

Rose smiled at her. 'The Powell Estate in London.'

'Thank you Miss. Enjoy your breakfasts, and when you have finished, her majesty expects the pleasure of your company in the drawing room for a ceremony,' Flora recited.

'What ceremony,' the Doctor asked.

'Don't know Sir. That was all that her majesty told me to say.'

'Okay Flora. Tell her majesty we will be delighted to join her,' the Doctor said with a warm smile. Flora curtsied again and left.

They finished their bowls of porridge and Rose took her legs from under the covers. She sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on her boots, took the Doctor's bowl and put them both on the tray. She poured two cups of tea and took them back to the bed.

'So, I wonder what this ceremony is then?' Rose asked as she sipped her tea.

'I don't know. Probably to declare a period of mourning for all the people who died last night,' he said sadly. He hated it when he couldn't save everyone. But some people were so stubborn, and others were determined to sacrifice themselves. 'It's much easier when we can just slip away.'

'Not this time though,' Rose said with her teasing smile. 'This is a royal summons. You'll be locked in the tower or beheaded or somethin' if you try and sneak away now.'

The Doctor groaned. 'Ah well. Drink up then and let's go and find out.'

In the drawing room, the surviving household were gathered together, along with the soldiers of the queen's escort. Queen Victoria was standing with her back to the fireplace with Lady Isobel beside her. Lady Isobel was dressed in black, mourning her husband, Sir Robert who had been savaged by the werewolf. The Doctor and Rose walked towards the queen, and they saw that she had one of the soldiers swords in her hand.

No! It couldn't be. Could it? They were directed to kneel in front of the queen.

'By the power invested in me by the Church and the State, I dub thee Sir Doctor of Tardis,' Victoria said, as she touched each shoulder with the sword.

She then addressed Rose. 'By the power invested in me by the Church and the State, I dub thee Dame Rose of the Powell Estate. You may stand.'

'Many thanks, Ma'am,' the Doctor said.

'Thanks . . . They're never going to believe this back home,' Rose said to herself, and Flora smiled behind her.

'Your Majesty, you said last night about receiving no message from the great beyond. I think your husband cut that diamond to save your life. He's protecting you even now, Ma'am, from beyond the grave,' the Doctor said kindly, trying to give her some solace.

'Indeed. Then you may think on this also. That I am not amused,' Victoria said with a stern expression.

'Yes!' Rose whispered with a broad smile. She'd been trying to get her to say that all day yesterday to win a bet with the Doctor.

The queen thought they were both smiling inappropriately, after all the death and destruction that had been caused recently. 'Not remotely amused. And henceforth I banish you.'

That wiped the smiles off their faces. 'I'm sorry?' The Doctor said with a frown.

'I rewarded you, Sir Doctor, and now you are exiled from this empire, never to return.' Rose looked at the Doctor in confusion. Hadn't they just saved her life? 'I don't know what you are, the two of you, or where you're from, but I know that you consort with stars and magic and think it fun. But your world is steeped in terror and blasphemy and death, and I will not allow it. You will leave these shores and you will reflect, I hope, on how you came to stray so far from all that is good, and how much longer you will survive this terrible life. Now leave my world, and never return.'

'What? Leave . . . as in go away?' the Doctor asked. Two soldiers came along side them to escort them from the house.

'Er, yeah. I think that's exactly what she means,' Rose said.

Later that morning, the Doctor and Rose hopped off the horse drawn cart by the TARDIS, thanked Dougal, the driver, and walked across the heath land.

'No, but the funny thing is, Queen Victoria did actually suffer a mutation of the blood. It's historical record. She was haemophiliac. They used to call it the Royal Disease. But it's always been a mystery because she didn't inherit it. Her mum didn't have it, her dad didn't have it. It came from nowhere,' the Doctor told her.

'What and you're saying that's a wolf bite?'

'Well, maybe haemophilia is just a Victorian euphemism.'

'For werewolf?'

'Could be.'

'Queen Victoria's a werewolf?'

'Could be. And her children had the Royal Disease. Maybe she gave them a quick nip.'

'So, the Royal Family are werewolves?'

'Well, maybe not yet. I mean, a single wolf cell could take a hundred years to mature. Might be ready by, oh, early 21st century?'

'Nah, that's just ridiculous!' Rose said dismissively, and then thought about the Royal Family. 'Mind you, Princess Anne . . .'

'I'll say no more.'

Rose thought about it some more. 'And if you think about it, they're very private. They plan everything in advance. They could schedule themselves around the moon. We'd never know. And they like hunting!' she said as they stepped into the TARDIS, she was on a roll.

'They love blood sports,' she continued as the Doctor walked up the ramp ahead of her and started the time rotor. 'Oh my God, they're werewolves!' she laughed in disbelief.

'Hah! And if they aren't at the moment, they will be,' he said with a grin.

'And you owe me a tenner,' Rose reminded him.

'Ah, now the bet was that YOU could make her say it, and if I recall correctly, which I always do, I said that her husband was protecting her from beyond the grave, and she said, 'Indeed, then you may think on this also, that I am not amused'.'

'Yeah, she said it!'

'Yes, but I made her say it, not you, and the bet was definitely for you to make her say it, so I think you'll find that the tenner is mine,' he said with an air of superiority.

'Oh no, no, hang on,' she said thinking furiously. 'Er . . . ah, I actually said, 'I want her to say we are not amused. I bet you five quid I can make her say it'. Now for you to win the bet, she would have had to NOT say it, so I think that's a draw.'

'What?' he said incredulously. 'Rose Tyler, have you been taking lessons from your mother.'

It was Rose's turn to have a satisfied grin. 'Yep, I was taught by one of the best, you have to get up really early to get one over on my Mum.'

The Doctor shook his head and laughed in resignation. 'Okay, it's a draw then.'

'Good. So Sir Doctor, where are y'takin' me for lunch?' she asked with a teasing smile.

'Lunch? We've only just had breakfast.'

'Only just? That was hours ago. And we had a trek across the moors before Dougal gave us a lift.'

'Was it?' he asked with a frown.

'Yeah it was. And don't forget, while you were winin' and dinin' with her majesty last night, I missed dinner cos I was chained to a wall.'

'Hey, I'm not judging you, but what you get up to in your spare time is up to you,' he said with a cheeky smile.

She playfully slapped his arm. 'Oi! Are you tryin' to say I'm kinky?'

He tried to look all innocent. 'Just observing the facts.'

'This timorous beastie will give you a fact with her fist in a minute,' she said with pretend annoyance. 'Don't forget, I'm a feral child y'know.'

'Ooh you Tyler women are so aggressive. Look, to make it up to you, why don't I take you out to lunch?'

'What, kronkburgers on Salarius again?' she asked suspiciously.

'We can if you want to,' he said, adjusting the controls on the console. 'But I was thinking more lunch at the Waldorf Astoria.'

Rose's eyes went wide. 'What? The Waldorf in New York?'

'No. The Waldorf in Clapham,' he said with a roll of his eyes. 'Of course the Waldorf in New York. And in the nineteen thirties, when they knew how to do elegance.'

She looked down at her dungaree mini dress, thinking that it might not be the height of sophisticated elegance. 'I can do elegant . . . Cardiff eighteen sixty nine? That was elegant,' she reminded him.

He didn't need reminding of Cardiff in eighteen sixty nine. She hadn't just looked elegant, she had looked stunning. It was at that moment he had realised that she wasn't just a kid from a council estate, she was a beautiful young woman. He gave her a warm smile. 'Yeah. That was elegant.'

He landed the TARDIS and shut down the console. 'So. Before you go to the wardrobe and get all glammed up, why don't we go and have a look around? Get our bearings so to speak, and then we can have some lunch.'

Rose gave a giggle of excitement and hugged his arm as they walked down the ramp to the doors. When they stepped outside, it quickly became apparent that they weren't in New York. In fact, they weren't even on Earth. It looked like Earth. It had a yellow sun, blue skies, some thundery clouds on the western horizon, trees and grass. But the three pale, crescent moons in the sky kind of gave it away.

'I ain't seenin' no Empire State buildin',' Rose said sarcastically.

The Doctor scratched the back of his neck and squinted. 'Nahhhh. Mind you, there's a settlement over there in the distance. I bet they'd have a restaurant.'

Rose put her hand above her eyes as a sun shield and squinted in the direction that he was pointing. About a mile away she could see a colony base of what looked like futuristic prefabricated buildings. 'It looks a bit "rustic",' she said unenthusiastically.

'Oh rustic's good. Remember what it's like when you go to a tourist destination and find a backstreet cafe that isn't on the tourist map?' he said with that excited gleam in his eye.

'Yeah. You get "Delhi Belly",' she reminded him.

'Oh you're SO negative at times. I don't know why I bother,' he said with humour in his voice. 'Yes I do. Because I love to see that look of joy on your face when you find out I was right and that you really enjoy yourself.'

She tried to keep a disappointed look on her face. After all, the Waldorf Astoria was the Waldorf Astoria. But he was right. One of the reasons she travelled with him was because he took her to amazing places and showed her incredible things. She looked at his hand that he was holding out for her and gave him a broad smile.

'Go on then. I guess I'm dressed for rustic. Elegance can wait.' She took his hand and they set off across the grassland towards the colony.

'So, where are we then?' she asked as they set a good pace across the open ground.

He looked up at the sky and the three crescent moons. 'Not sure. I'd need to see the stars to have a rough idea. But it looks like a planet in the early stages of colonisation.'

They crested a gentle incline, and saw a wide, shallow canyon in front of them. 'Ah. That could be a problem,' the Doctor observed.

They walked to the edge and looked down. There was a torrent of black, muddy water flowing down the gully. 'There must have been rainfall up in the hills over there,' the Doctor said, indicating the hills in the distance with dark clouds over them. 'It's caused a flash flood.'

Rose looked left and then right. 'Look. Over there. It looks like some kind of bridge.'

The Doctor looked where she was indicating. 'You're right. Come on, let's have a look.'

They hurried along the edge of the canyon until they came to a path worn into the grass, and a rickety looking rope bridge. The bridge was about thirty feet long, and the muddy water was flowing about five feet below it.

'Is it safe?' Rose asked, 'Maybe we should go back to the TARDIS.?'

'Awh, we don't need the TARDIS to hop across this small gap,' he told her. 'From the look of the path, it's used regularly.'

He started across, and Rose hesitantly followed. The bridge rocked slightly to the rhythm of their footsteps. 'There you go, see. A well used rope bridge over a torrent of muddy water. What could possibly go wrong?'

'Oh you had to go and say it, didn't ya,' she protested.

He turned around to face her and held his arms out. 'What?' He started to jump up and down. 'See . . . Safe as houses.'