:THE GAMER: WHAT IF:
-START NEW GAME-
:Chapter 1:
I hate this, I fucking hate this, you want to know why? Because I'm currently busy, fucking choking, on a damn stick. A fucking stick. Do you know how? Was I sucking on it? Or biting it? Do I have a choke fetish? Or am I that stupid? Of course not!
And I'm choking on a stick, which is embarrassing because my genius friend decided it was a good idea to throw it at me, which wouldn't have been bad anyways if my luck wasn't shit and it was thrown in my mouth while I was talking.
And that led to my current state of being after he decided to also, ditch me, fucking bastard.
So now what, try to pull it out? Oh no no no, baaad idea, it'd just get sent down even further.
Aaaaand ow, my lungs are starting to fucking burn.
Shite...
[Welcome to the 'If it was' game, where you will be answering 'what if's' to progress your story. All of the answers you choose affect your story differently, and lead to different endings, ]
[Start new game]
[Continue]
[Load save file]
[Options]
[Help]
'What? I... what?' There was a blue box, it was somewhat slanted, so that the lower part was closer to my body than the upper part. 'Is this some sort of... mistake, maybe?' Another blue box appeared above the first, it had some more text.
[To navigate the menu, tap any of the words listed in front of you.]
I pressed on [Help].
[Help]
-Unavailable-
[Back]
Goddammit, why the fuck would you have help if it was unavailable? Dammit! I press [Back], maybe I should check options now? Alright then. Options it is.
I pressed [Options] this time.
[Options]
[Video]
[Controls]
[Sounds]
[Advanced]
[Cheats]
'Video settings? What? How does that even work?' I thought. What's the use of video settings in real life anyways? I tapped [Video]. The menu changed.
[Video]
[Graphics] : [Real] (?)
[View] : [Objects only] (?)
[Clear Vision] : [Off] (?)
[Back]
'At least they left info boxes for me, how nice of them.'
[Warning: Sarcasm detected]
I let out a frustrated scream. I quickly tap the question mark for graphics.
[Graphics determine how your game will look, there are three choices: [Pixel], [High defenition] and [Real]. The choices do no affect gameplay.]
Alright then, I kept it at [Real].
I then pressed and read the rest.
[View lets you choose what types of objects you see, there are 4 choices: [Objects only], [Objects and Spirits], [Xray] and [Objects and Code]. Be careful when using [Objects and Code] as that setting allows you to see and change the environmental code of the object you are looking at. May break the game.]
[Clear Vision: gives the user perfect vision, and allows for precise details when looking at objects, may cause headaches and inability to keep your eyes off of some objects, may cause embarrassment in social situations, gives a +15% to perversion and +15% for an NPC to either confuse stare for checking out, or glare.]
I decided against [Clear Vision] to save myself the embarrassment, and 'cause it didn't look like an important thing. Although for [View] I was considering changing [Objects only] for [Objects and Code], because it seemed useful, if I could use it properly. I kept it at [Objects only], just in case, and decided to check out [Objects and Code] later, if I'm allowed to come back to the settings menu later.
I tapped [Back].
[Options]
[Video]
[Controls]
[Sounds]
[Advanced]
[Cheats]
I really want to check out the rest of the options, but first, dammit, I have to check out the cheats. It is necessary for my survival alright?
Time to check out [Cheats], hopefully there's something good in there.
[Cheats]
[+Health] : [Off] (?)
[Extra stat points] : [Off] (?)
[Extra skill points] : [Off] (?)
[Extra lvl] : [Off] (?)
[Genius] : [Off] (?)
[Lods o' chakra] : [Off] (?)
[Back]
"Fuck me, bro, what is this?" I said, "I have to use these."Wow, I thought most game devs hated cheats. I wanted to know more, so I pressed the question marks for all of them.
[+Health is a cheat designed to give +2000 extra base health points.]
[Extra stat points: You gain 50 extra stat points, single use, becomes unavailable after level 1.]
[Extra skill points: These points are used for skills you gain as you level up, you gain 100 extra skill points for level 1, this cheat becomes unavailable after leveling once.]
[Extra lvl: Sets your level to 20, gains level 1-20 perk choice, gains 100 stat points, gains 100 skill points.]
[Genius: You are a genius in all but body, gains +50% WIS and INT points, gains -50% STR and END.]
[Lods o' chakra: Gives +3000 chakra points.]
I am in love, these cheats, while not super OP, are still OP. I turned on [+Health], [Extra stat points], [Extra skill points], [Extra lvl] and [Lods o' chakra], [Genius], while also OP, was kinda good and bad at the same time, while gaining brains, you loose brawn, I'd rather have both, thank you very much.
The menu looked like this:
[Cheats]
[+Health] : [On] (?)
[Extra stat points] : [On] (?)
[Extra skill points] : [On] (?)
[Extra lvl] : [On] (?)
[Genius] : [Off] (?)
[Lods o' chakra] : [On] (?)
[Back]
I pressed back, now done with the cheats menu, I went throught the rest, here's a summary.
[Controls]
-Useless-
[Back]
[Sounds]
[Sound type] : [Real]
[BGM] : [Unavailable]
[Custom] : [Unavailable]
[Back]
[Advanced]
[Damage system] : [Injury and HP] (?)
[Body functions] : [Game] (?)
[Back]
[Damage system: There are 3 types of damage system choices, Injury and HP, HP only, and Real. Injury and HP: You lose HP whilst gaining injuries that can last, if HP reaches 0, you have a 70% chance of being revived. HP only: No injuries, you only lose HP, if HP reaches 0, you immediately die, no revives. Real, you take damage that affects you differently wherever the injury was made, immediate death by decapitation, 100% chance of revive if not decapitated and near ally.]
[Body functions: If you want to feel a more normal life, use Real body functions for body to act naturally. There are 3 types, Game, Basic needs, and Real. Game: you do not need to, sleep, eat or go to the bathroom, showers are neccessary for buff, if you have not showered in one week, debuffs are gained. Basic needs: if you want a challenge, yet are tired of taking care of your body, Basic needs makes sure you have to eat and sleep, showers give buffs, but no debuffs if you have not showered in a weeks time. Real: this mode makes your entire body function as usual, gives a buff for taking care of yourself.]
I went back to the main menu, and I pressed [Start new game]. I got a pop up.
[Do you wish to start new game?]
[Yes] [No]
I pressed [Yes]. The world went black.