Ask me how I know- Inspired by the song ask me how I know by Garth Brooks I own none of this. Not the song, not the characters. I'm just playing around with both.

Draco sat down at the bar with a huff of frustration and ordered a firewhiskey. She had stormed off again because she's pushing him to commit again. The man next to him looks over and asks "Woman problems?"

Draco let out an inelegant snort "That obvious? Or did you hear the harpy screech and the door slamming as she left?"

"It's that obvious." and he rubbed his empty ring finger.

"Well, I'm done. I thought she was different but she's like everyone else" He downed his firewhiskey and ordered another.

"Oh really? What happened?"

"Look, I appreciate what you're doing but I don't know you and I don't do the touchy feel-y crap."

"Well, I am Eprius Shangsfeld. Pleasure to meet you. Why don't you just let me talk and you can tell me if I am getting things right."

"You know what... I'm bored enough to go along with it. Tell me what you know about a complete stranger you just met three minutes ago."

"That woman that just stormed out of here like a dragon on a rampage-"

"Hermione. Her name is Hermione."

"Okay, Hermione. She's pretty important to you in a way you never thought possible. She makes you think of a future you thought was for everyone but you. Despite the many times you've pushed her away, she comes back. And you want her to."

"See, that's the feel-y crap I just told you I don't do." And he ordered another firewhiskey.

"How many times has she walked away?"

"I stopped counting at thirteen."

"One day she won't come back, you know that right?"

"Maybe I don't want her to come back. Maybe I enjoy my freedom and I don't want to be tied down to some crazy girl who wants to free the damn house elves!"

Eprius just looked at Draco and shook his head. He really didn't know how big of a mistake he was about to make. "Listen man... You need to let go of that crap attitude about how you don't need anyone else. Because it is crap. It's a giant load of dragon's dung. You're a stubborn fool who is about to let the best thing that has ever happened to you walk away for good. And one of these days she won't come back. It's not a maybe. There is only so much that a girl like that will take."

"A girl like what?"

"A girl that makes you so mad that you drink six firewhiskeys in a row trying to convince yourself that you don't want to chase after her and beg her to forgive you for pushing her away, again. The kind of girl that lights a fire in you that you've never felt before. The kind of girl that you swore you would never find. The kind of girl that makes you want to give up one night stands and quick flings. The kind of girl that can make you completely miserable but also completely happy."

"If you think she's so great, then you go chase after her."

"You just aren't getting it. Are you really that hell bent on losing her?"

"No. I don't want to lose her, she's the one that walks away."

"She's walking away because you push her. I bet you never ask her to stay. I bet you never let her know how you really feel. Ask me how I know all this."

"Fine, how are you so wise and all knowing Empeirus?"

"It's Eprius... and I know because I've made the mistake you're about to make and by the time I admitted my pride was in the way, it was too late."

"What mistake?"

"You're about to lose the one person who can save you from your own stupid stubborn self." Then he downed the rest of his drink, paid his tab and walked away.

It had been a week since his talk with the strange man in the bar. A week since Hermione walked out of the bar declaring he was as cold as a winter in Antarctica. He was expecting her to send an owl three days ago. She usually got over her hissy fits in a couple days and then they went back to talking and going out to dinner and spending the nights in each others arms.

But there was still no owl. Potter had glared at him in passing today and shook his head. Lately, they were at least civil enough to say hello.

He couldn't smell her shampoo on the pillow anymore. Her toothbrush was just sitting on the sink, untouched. He tried throwing it out yesterday, but then he realized she was probably just proving a point and making him wait longer, so he kept it.

He decided to head to the bar to pass the time because he knew she would be back soon. She always came back.

The bar was ultimately unsatisfying and full of girls who wanted in his bed, but none of them were quite right. He ended up heading home after two drinks and deciding to stay in for the night. Maybe I'll floo Blaise or Theo. He decided the more the merrier and told them both to come over then waited in his study for his friends.

Blaise was the first to arrive. He helped himself to the wine Draco had out - knowing it was Blaise's favorite.

"So you still haven't talked to her?"

"I'm not the one that needs to talk. She'll apologize soon."

"Pirla. You do realize it's your fault, right?"

"I told her I didn't want commitment."

Theo had arrived and hopped right in the conversation "and we might believe that if you hadn't spent five fucking years dating and shagging only Hermione."

"Yeah, I mean. A month, maybe two... That's just a fling. But five years? You're already committed, she's already committed, you're just being a prat and avoiding the actual label."

"One, we didn't date. Two, I never told her that she could only shag me. She just thinks I'm good at what I do."

Theo and Blaise both raised an eyebrow at that.

"Draco. You're an idiot. You've basically holed yourself up in the Manor for a week waiting to hear from her."

"Not true, I went to the bars. But the girls were annoying."

"Whatever. Lets go back to we didn't date. You go to every function with her. You buy her dinner. You set it up so she can't pay for anything at the bookstore because it is to come directly from your account. How exactly is that not dating?"

"Shut up and drink or leave."

The rest of the night, Theo and Blaise avoided talking about Hermione. They knew Draco wouldn't budge.

It had now been a month. She still hadn't wrote. Draco never did cancel that account with her favorite bookstore- but she hadn't used it like she normally would. He knew she shopped for new books every other week but she didn't this time. He checked. Repeatedly. The owner got to the point where he would respond to any floo's from Draco with a simple "Nothing has been charged Mr. Malfoy." because he never called about anything else.

He still hadn't thrown out her toothbrush.

And still, Draco denied he cared. She walked away after all.

At exactly forty nine days after she walked away, he saw her. She was walking with Ginny Potter, laughing and holding the little Potter brat- Jimmy? John? Joseph? whatever the sprogs name was. She looked happy. Really happy. At least she did until she saw Draco. Then she froze with a look of pain etched into her features, staring at him.

Draco apparated home. He knew that look meant she wasn't coming back this time.

One fall day, Draco opened his Daily Prophet to a picture of Hermione on a date with some dark haired wizard. It had been three months, one week and two days.

He went out drinking that night. And the night after. And the night after that one too. By the sixth night out drinking, someone put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Eprius.

"She moved on. She never did come back. Five years with her. And she is gone. You were right."

"Did you try to get her not to leave?"

"No. No, I didn't."

"You should."

"Didn't you hear me? She moved on. She doesn't need me anymore. She doesn't want me anymore."

"You don't know that unless you try."

At exactly three am, a very, very drunk Draco sent an owl to a sleeping Hermione.

At exactly four am, a very, very angry Hermione stormed in to (still drunk) Draco's room in the Manor.

"Three months and you finally decide to owl me and this is what you send?"

"I, um, I don't remember what I wrote."

"Are you really that drunk?"

"Yes."

"Fine. I'm sitting at home in bed asleep like a normal witch is at three in the bloody morning. Then I see Bubo Bubo at my window. He's sleeping at my house by the way. Poor thing was exhausted because you woke him at an ungodly hour to send me this crap."

"I still don't remember what I wrote."

"Dear my Hermione - spelled wrong by the way, thanks for that. I miss your annoying face. I miss your weekly lectures on how my house elves should be free. I miss your nipples. I miss you correcting my french when we would randomly port-key to Paris for the night. I miss waking up to your hair in my mouth. I'm an idiot. Draco Lucius Malfoy."

"Well," He took a very deep breath, thinking about exactly what possessed him to send that. "I did say I was an idiot."

"Seriously? I was finally moving on. I was finally accepting that every time you said we were just having fun you actually meant it. I had accepted you pushed me away because you were through with me. I accepted you didn't care. I spent three months-"

"It wasn't three months."

"What?"

"It was three months, one week and two days. Not just three months."

"you counted?"

"I hoped you'd... that you would come back."

"You're an idiot"

"I thought my note covered that"

"Why now Draco? Is it just because of the prophet?"

"Yes... and no"

"It can't be both Draco. Either you just decided you want me because you think you can't have me or you actually want me and are willing to admit it."

"It started as a reaction to the article. I tried so hard to ignore everything. But no matter how much I drank you were still there, in my head. In my heart. And so I drank more because you weren't there anymore. You were gone. And I knew this time you weren't going to come back. Then I ran in to someone who reminded me of his advice the last day you walked away. And I realized that it wasn't just because I couldn't have you anymore. It was because I had you and I was too stubborn to admit that I wanted you to have me too. I was too bloody stubborn to admit you had me from the first time you smiled at me."

"So the best thing you could come up with was to tell me you miss my nipples? Really, of all the things."

"Again, I'm an idiot."

"I'm aware. I'm very aware."

"So, can I have another chance? A real chance this time? One where I admit that I'm yours? I can't promise I won't still push you away... But I can try"

Hermione thought it over for a minute "Fine, move over, I'm tired."

The next morning, Draco was very, very confused waking up holding Hermione again, her hair tickling his nose. He thought he would never be here again. He slowly let her go and crawled out of bed. He stepped on a piece of parchment and as he read it, he remembered a very drunk conversation last night. She gave him another chance. And he knew with everything in him that this time he wouldn't screw it up.

Of course, he did screw up. Many, many times. But... He also made sure he didn't put up walls and push her away- at least not for too long.

Exactly five months, two weeks and six days later, Eprius Shangsfeld was sitting on his porch when an owl arrived with a wedding invitation and a thank you.

Eprius,
This wedding would not be happening without you.
Thanks
Draco Malfoy

He still wasn't the best at writing things, but Hermione counted it as a success that there was no mention of body parts, so she had let him send it.