So, it's been another 4 months again, hasn't it? (0-0)
Ooooooof, really, there must be something wrong with me. For some reason, nothing gets to me more than achieving yet another 4 months of hiatus (why is that so? Do I fear the number 4 or something? xD) so a heartfelt thank you to those who reviewed recently~! (also apologies to those who I've told that this was going to be out sooner but then I forgot... uwuwuwu). Also If You Could See Me has somehow surpassed this story in chapters, so there goes my shame flying out the window! TwT I blame my sources of inspiration: SFIE relies on my music playlists and imagination, while IYCSE was born from travel brochures, magazines, offices and a special ingredient. But you guys aren't here for my rambling, so here we go~!

Should've Been Us, Tori Kelly

Walking round with my head down,
But I can't hide with these high heels on
Downtown in a thick crowd
But it's just you that my mind is on...

Matthias

Since I was up already, I might as well start my day.

I stretched my arms and looked at the time again. It was only seven, so I could go back to sleep for a few more hours since it was Saturday, but that dream was . . . kinda . . . Yeah, it was better to stay awake.

The weather outside looked okay to me, so I decided to go out for a jog and check out the neighborhood. I looked in Berwald's room to see if he wanted come along with me, but he wasn't there. He already had plans but he didn't even bring me? Pfft, he was probably out in the backyard working on another project or something. I'll check on him later.

I stopped by the kitchen to pick up an apple before heading out. As soon as I opened the front door, a gust of air blew at my face. It was pretty cool outside, but it wasn't too bad. The weather was gonna heat up later anyways.

Starting off with a slow and easy pace, I looked around the street. All the houses around me had similar structures, but at each block they were styled differently with alternating one-to-two stories tall. The first street looked like a typical neighborhood, with open areas of lawns and driveways. The next area seemed pretty nice but shady, with trees planted along the sidewalk.

I decided to try the third option, with plenty of space and a few trees here and there. As I made my way down the sidewalk, some people were just leaving their homes and starting their cars off to work. At the end of the street, I could see the taller buildings of the shopping district, as well as a small cafe at the end of the corner. Maybe I'll go drop by there for breakfast.

Or maybe I should go and try looking for a job somewhere. Even though I didn't have a set schedule yet, with homework and soccer, I wasn't sure if I was gonna have any spare time, but it couldn't hurt to try. At least it'd be something to do for the weekends.

I waved at a pair of dog-walkers as I turned at the next corner. Lost in thought, I was starting to pick up my pace when something familiar caught my attention. I stopped and turned to take a better look. It was a garden full of different plants and flowers—one of them matching the exact color of L's eyes.

Well, that was weird. I didn't know what kind of flower it was, so I pulled out my phone to ask Google, when I heard someone clearing her throat. I looked up to see Luna, of all people, staring at me.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

•~•

Dressed up, got my heart messed up
You got yours and I got mine...
It's unfair that I still care
And I wonder where you are tonight

•~•

Luna

The last thing I expected to find this morning was my soulmate standing in front of my house.

I was surprised beyond belief. Wasn't this coincidence a bit too soon? This went beyond my expectations. Considering what happened last night, I didn't think I'd see him again so soon. This defied all logic.

And yet, here he was, staring intensely at the very flowers that shared my eye-color.

Something inside me fluttered hopefully. Did he recognize the color? Sense a connection to it? Maybe even realized that I—

No, that can't be it! Inwardly, I smacked my sleep-deprived brain and squashed down those ridiculously expectant thoughts. He didn't even know what I looked like, let alone my eye-color! Thankfully, I had my sunglasses on already, or else I'd be exposed in front of him in this unexpected encounter.

Still, my heart thumped excitedly. There had to be a good reason why he was here, so I waited to see what he had to say for himself.

"Oh, um, morning Luna!" he exclaimed in surprise. "You live here? I was just out for a run when I saw your flowers and–" he glanced back at them, his brow furrowing, "–I wanted to get a better look. Can you tell me the name of it?"

My eyes scanned the lawn, over the rows of various blossoms and plants my dad had planted and cared for these past few months. It was probably too optimistic of me to automatically assume that he was referring to those flowers. He could easily be talking about the roses or lillies.

"Which one?"

"The ones by your mailbox." He pointed them out. Oh. Turns out that it wasn't all in my head after all. Ignoring the erratic bumping of my heart, I managed to calmly answer, "Those are larkspurs."

"Larkspurs, huh." He stared absentmindedly at them. I thought that was the end of that, so I turned away to go when he suddenly asked, "What about those white tall flowers by the steps?"

"Calla lilies."

"Those huge flowers by the fence with weird curly stems?"

"Icelandic poppies."

"How about the ones next to the window?"

"Freesia."

"Wow, you know all the names of these plants?" He surveyed our surroundings in amazement before turning back to me."Did you plant them?"

"No, my dad did. I helped pick them out."

"Oh." Mathias looked away. This time I was sure we were done, but then, "Which one's your favorite?"

"My favorite?" I raised an eyebrow at that. What to choose? I could say that I liked violets as a reference to Hamlet, but I knew he wasn't detail-oriented like me. Or I could go with the larkspurs, to see his reaction to my hidden eye-color. Those orchids were blooming beautifully this morning...

But in the end I picked neither and answered honestly, "Heathers."

Before he could ask where they were at, I was in my car and driving away. I was already late enough to work as it is. Even if he is my soulmate, if he really wanted to know, he could figure it out by himself.

•~•

Thinking it could be different,
But maybe we missed it, yeah
Thinking it could be different,
It could, it could—

•~•

"Ahahahahahahaha!"

Alice laughed so hard, she almost knocked over the stack of books that were waiting to be scanned. Her laughter echoed across the empty room, bouncing off the walls and bookshelves.

"Shhh!" I glared at her. "We're in a library!"

"Hah . . . ahahahahah!" She tried to stop, but she couldn't control herself and continued to snicker at my suffering. I rolled my eyes and kept an eye at the doorway. If she wanted to get in trouble, then fine by me. I, on the other hand, needed my paycheck for my next project.

"Oh . . . oh, Luna," Alice gasped, finally reaching the end of her breath. "How did you end up with someone like Matthias?"

"Why, now you want to know?" I turned away and continued to sort through the books and loaded up the cart. She carried over the last batch and handed them over to me one by one. "How else am I supposed to help you if I don't know all the details?"

Now that all the books were scanned in system, it was time to head to the awaiting bookshelves for their precious children to return. I pushed the cart along the dimly lit hallway and said, "But you were there, so you should know what happened."

"You don't really expect me to remember everything, do you?" Alice rolled her eyes as she pulled out books to arrange by subject. We arrived at the children's section, so we dropped off the picture books and continued down to the young adult novels.

"Well," I closed my eyes and searched through my memories, going far back into the past. Back before I was born as Luna or any other of my identities. Way back before there were such things as soulmates.

•~•

It should've been us,

Should've been a fire,

Should've been the perfect storm...

•~•

Long, long ago, I was once Frost, son of Helena, queen of the Winter Fae. She was better known throughout the land as Mother Hel. Everyone knew of her cold, her cruelty, and most especially of her hatred of the Summer Court.

My mother hated the rules of the Courts, of how she had to share the control over the seasons with the King of Summer. If she had her way, the land would stay forever lost in chills of Winter. The cold had no faults with Mother Hel; she was of it and thus controlled it. She had no need of warmth, she reveled in the frost, wearing it like a cloud of perfume; especially when it made others suffer.

Therefore, she was always searching for ways to extend the Winter seasons by dragging in the cold early in Autumn or stubbornly holding fort in the early days of Spring. However, rules were rules, and so there had to be a balance. The Summer King would often retaliate in kind, ushering in sunny skies in the arrival days of Spring or clinging onto the last days of warmth in Autumn.

It was an endless war between the two sides.

In spite of that, Mother Hel was a crafty soul. She tried to expand her power and gain advantages from creating alliances with others. There were the other two Courts of Spring and Autumn, but Spring was closely allied with Summer while Autumn was unreliable, a true fence-sitter and remained neutral between Summer and Winter.

One strategic maneuver Mother Hel often used was offering up her children's hands in marriage. She didn't care about us; we were only the result of her occasional affairs with those who happened to capture her desire. But they didn't last very long; most were put to death the next day.

She loved power above everything and refused any weaknesses.

My mother didn't share the throne with anyone, let alone entertain the thought of passing it off to another. Only a few lucky ones recieved the honor of becoming a statue in her frozen courtyard, my father being one of them. Sometimes I would go and visit him, wondering why she had even bothered to keep him, to keep us and everyone under her control.

But that didn't matter, because no one would ever question her actions.

I remember the times she brought me out along with my siblings to sign unions with other clans. We were forced to show off our talents, skills, beauty, anything to appeal to their desires of having one of us as their mates. I hated the whole process of it all, but I never refused to participate. I couldn't.

There was once a close call for me when I was matched up with one of the Mountain Fae. It was one of the most important partnerships for Mother Hel, for the Mountain clan had access to valuable resources, soldiers, land, etc. At the very last minute, the youngest child of the Mountain King took a fancy to one of my brothers.

It happened to be Emil, or Snjór as he was named back then. He was also the sibling that I was closest with, since we happened to share the same father. I was surprised and relieved for my own sake, and elated yet a bit worried for his sake. Snjór would live safe and secure from Mother Hel under the protection of the Mountain clan, but there was no guarantee that his new spouse would treat him well.

The switch mattered not to my mother as long as a marriage took place, so she made no fuss about it. During the ceremony of their unity, I watched on with a neutral expression as troubling thoughts continued to plague my mind.

If this was to be the fate of all my siblings, then who would I end up with?

I could form a bond with a water nymph or sprite, or perhaps one of the Forest Folk. However, the decision would never be mine to take; I was a special case. As one of Mother Hel's eldest children, I was most likely to be fated as a tempting offering to a powerful family.

Not to mention that out of all Mother Hel's children, I resembled her the most. I shared her magic, her calculating mindset, and a bit of her beauty as well. However, one thing separated me from her, preventing me from being her most favored and loyal child, one particularly cursed trait that I had inherited from my father.

I, unlike Mother Hel, held a secret longing for warmth.

There was something about it that seemed . . . enticing. I could only look at the sun during Winter, yet I enjoyed the sensations it had on my being. Although as Winter Fey it was the natural enemy of my existence, I couldn't help but crave it.

It was only to be expected after all, since my father was a water sprite who enjoyed all states of matter; the cold and heat were all welcomed. He only had the misfortune of meeting my mother, who kept him around long enough to conceive Snjór and I before discarding him off in the frozen state of matter.

Sometimes I would question him silently, if everything he had done for my mother was worth his untimely end. But who was I to investigate the actions of one in love? I had no interest in it, and it failed to hold any value in my mother's eyes, so I let things be.

However, I wouldn't dare to tell her of my forbidden secret. Mother Hel would sooner put my siblings and I to death than allow any of us to openly covet the sun. So I concealed this horrid weakness of mine, hiding my true nature behind a blank, frozen mask that she approved of.

A perfect, mindless puppet-soldier to follow her every order.

Therefore, as seasons shifted over and Mother Hel had her turn in power, I accompanied her. Not to support her ambition, but to savor the last of the sun's rays before the oncoming chill of Winter. Silently fuming that she prolonged the entrance of Spring, stoically cheering when Spring pulled in victorious.

It had been his first Spring as Summer King on the day I met him.

To celebrate the arrival of Spring, and their victory over the harsh Winter, the Spring and Summer Fey sang and danced, awakening the beasts of the land from their Winter slumber and encouraging the growth of newly-born greenery.

I stood by Alice's shadow, who had been a stuffy Oak tree sprite known as Arthur, and watched the festivities commence. Their customs and traditions starkly differed from those of the Winter Court where I had grown up within. We did not dance or sing; we usually tortured our prisoners of war and their voices would fill the air with screams and shrieks of horror.

Arthur noticed my interest and offered to bring me along to join in, but I refused. As one of the Forest Folk, Arthur had not pledged his loyalty to any court, so he was free to wander and mingle as he so chose to. I, on the other hand, had boundaries to respect.

To think that a child of Winter wished to partake in a Spring gathering? How absurd would that be. I knew they would never welcome the presence of Hel's kind. Revealing my desires so easily, I'd be nothing but a joke in their eyes. A disgrace in Mother Hel's eyes.

So, with an apologetic bow, he slipped off into the fray, only to be greeted immediately by one of the beaming blue-eyed Summer Fey. My sharp gaze did not miss that his peridot eyes lit up in delight before folding his face back into his usual scowl. He could deny his feelings all he wanted, but I knew better. Besides, anyone who could send that stubborn tree stump into a fluster was perfect for him in my view.

My eyes drifted off from them and landed upon the dancing Summer girls. They were twirling and whirling at impressive speeds amongst the blooming meadows, but I was sure that I was far more graceful than they on ice. I turned away and continued to observe their activities, staying out of sight and hiding within the safety of the forest shade.

I was idly watching a singing competition when something flashed suddenly at the corner of my eye. That was when I saw him.

He stood out so distinctively from the celebrating Fey, shining like a celestial light. He was the embodiment of Summer: hair that sparkled and flared like rays of sunlight, eyes that shone with the brilliance of the sky, and held himself up with a swagger that stated he knew exactly how attractive he was.

He moved as if he were in charge of everyone and everything, seemingly taller for it. But he wasn't really that tall, just a bit above average and only a half of a head taller than myself. Compared to most Summer Fey, he wasn't as dark as the rest of them, yet his lightly tanned skin glowed as if coals were burning inside of him.

Everyone called out greetings to him, which he returned with a smile and waved back. His teeth were a perfect, blinding white that wreaked havoc upon every susceptible heart. Everything about him screamed Danger! And yet I longed for nothing more than to draw closer to the heat he radiated.

Then, he must have sensed my stare, for he abruptly turned and looked straight into my eyes.

I was ensnared instantly by his questioning gaze, as helpless as prey before the Great Hunt. His eyes didn't hold the disgust or contempt of typical Summer Fey that I was used to facing down, but curiosity and interest instead.

We stared at each other for a moment before he suddenly broke out into a wide smile and held his hand out to me, beckoning me over to his side. I blinked in surprise. Surely he didn't mean for me to come out and join them, did he?

Yet his steadfast sky-blue eyes remained upon my motionless figure, patiently waiting with his hand still held out. All around him, the Summer Fey began to noticed his actions and looked around curiously, wondering what held his attention. I glanced over at his tempting hand.

I wanted to take his offer, but I could not. I couldn't risk revealing myself.

I held his hopeful eyes for a moment longer before finally shaking my head and turning away to flee, stumbling in my haste to get away. Come. I called upon my second-in-command, who was hiding among the treetops, and channeled my power for a quick portal. Let us return.

I should've known better than to stay and watch.

•~•

Back and forth like a tug of war,

What's it all for, do I want it back?

I still got a little flame for ya

Even though you drove me mad...

•~•

Days later, he found me again by the mountainside. I had been enjoying my last day of freedom before retreating back into the ground for my Spring Slumber, observing the newly blooming flowers, envying them for their adoration of the sun. No one would ever blame them for that.

I plucked a few out of spite, but after flash-freezing and crushing them into bits, I grew interested in trying to hold one as normally as the Spring Fey did. It was no easy task. I had to put much concentration into my control over the cold inside me so that it would not spread to the blossom.

After a few hours of trials and failures, it was nearly the end of the day by the time I successfully held one in my hands. I brought it to my nose in curiosity. It smelt so wondrously sweet...

"That's a lovely violet you have there."

That unfamiliar voice ruined my concentration. I lost control and the cold took over once more, ending up with a frozen floret. Softly cursing under my breath, I looked up to face the intruder of my peace—and froze in place.

What was he doing here?

My eyes widened briefly before I regained control once more and went back into my usual blank mask. "What are you doing here?" I asked, sounding more calm than I felt.

To my surprise, he laughed and walked over to me, stopping just a few feet away. "That's what I should be asking you," he grinned. "I didn't think that we'd have the luck to meet again so soon. Tell me, why are you, Fey of the Winter Court, out here in the Spring?"

My head spun from the amount of heat he emitted, so much more intense than the sunlight I was used to, but I managed to reply curtly, "I asked you first."

He stared at me for another moment before throwing his head back for another laugh. "That's true," he chortled. "However, you were the one to reject my invitation..." he trailed off meaningfully.

"I owe you nothing," I said, amused that he would try to use that as a justified reason.

"Alright then," he gave in goodnaturedly, "I'll tell you."

He stepped closer to me, about a foot away, as if he were trying to pressure me into taking another step back by asserting some sort of male dominance. Instead, the action itself made me want to laugh. Who did he think he was?

Didn't he know who I was?

But, his next words left me in a turmoil of emotions.

"As Summer King, I have the right to be outside . . . don't you think?"

Sunlight flared from his skin, glorious and brilliant. My breath caught in my throat, and I stumbled back from the sudden blinding light. This was the Summer King?

The very one Mother Hel had fought against for centuries?

It couldn't be—he was far too young, possibly only a few seasons older than myself. Yet, he wasn't lying. Every word he had said rang true.

He smiled smugly at me, inviting and dangerous, as he stepped even closer until we were directly facing each other. Warmth rained over us, sunbeams falling like golden honey pouring over me. "Now, it's your turn."

I closed my eyes, basking in the warmth. This was the first time that I had ever felt the true power of the sun. Somewhere in my mind I knew I had to step away from him, but I didn't, couldn't. It was that same feeling again when I first saw him, like a mindless moth to flame. It wasn't a feeling that I liked.

Even though I was at a loss for words, I couldn't allow him to get the best of me!

"I was only enjoying my last breath of fresh air before I return to my rest," I stated simply, backing up slowly. If Mother Hel found out that I was speaking with the current Summer King, there's no telling what she'd might do—

Frost? Her sharp voice sliced through my train of thought. Where are you?

On my way, Mother Hel! I quickly responded, finally opening my eyes to see his face far too close to mine. I immediately leaped back, widening the distance between us and noticed how dark the sky had gotten. No wonder she was calling me back. "However, as much as I would love to stay and speak a while longer, I really must leave."

"Oh, really?" He took another step closer, undaunted by my retreat.

"Yes." I trudged further back, back into the safety of the trees. Almost there to the portal I had at ready to take me back. I had never felt so afraid before. I was used to the Summer Fey as weaklings who were dependant on the sun to win their battles against us in the Spring, and the reason for their fall in Autumn.

It was just my luck to encounter the Summer King of them all. Mother Hel's abhorred enemy. I couldn't get involved with him. He'd only bring misfortune to myself.

I turned away without a word and dove into my awaiting portal. As I hurriedly chanted the words to teleport myself back, I could hear his laughter howling at my speedy exit, and parting words that were so faint,

"Dream of me."

But I must have been muddled in my thoughts, because that couldn't have been what he had said. As if I would listen to a request as ridiculous as that. Dream of him? No, thank you.

•~•

Now and then, I pretend
That it's you when I close my eyes...
You got yours, I got mine,
But I wonder where you are tonight...

•~•

My portal brought myself straight to the throne room, where Mother Hel awaited. After a herald announced my presence, I dropped into a bow and asked, "You wished to see me?"

"Where have you been all this time, Frost?" she demanded, seemingly passive, with a slight undercurrent of annoyance. Her voice was low, but chilling as it transversed through my ears. I stood up straight and answered, "I was only settling a small matter with another one of those pesky Summer Fey, who dared to think that they have the upper hand for now."

I wasn't willing to tell her the whole truth, since she would erupt into freezing disorder if she knew what had occurred earlier. Thankfully, my words alone appeared that I had dealt with them accordingly. As I expected, she hummed in approval.

"Wonderful. After all, we should never let them forget who truly rules the land!" She chuckled gleefully for a moment longer before returning back to all seriousness. "However, Frost, there's no need for you to be using your abilities against trash like them. There will be plenty of opportunities for you next Winter. You should be readying yourself for your slumber. Off you go."

"Yes, Mother Hel." I bowed deeply before exiting and rushed off to my chambers where Snjór was waiting for me.

"What took you so long?" he whined as soon as I shut the door behind myself. I shrugged in response, pulling off my protective outerwear. It usually protected myself from the harsh light of the sun, but I had no need of it here. "Mother Hel wished to see me first."

This was our last Spring Slumber together. My brother wasn't off to be married until the next Winter. I was grateful that the Mountain clan was willing to wait for him. We wouldn't have many chances to see each other in the future.

He let out a short, amused laugh. "Brother, you know that you can't hide things from me. I know that you went out recklessly to visit the sun one last time before our rest, didn't you?"

"Yes," I relented unashamedly as I lay down beside him. He knew me all too well.

"Oh, Frost," he sighed, somewhat helplessly, "What will happen to you once I'm gone?"

"Well," I chuckled reassuringly at him, pulling him in closer, "I will miss you, little one."

Snjór snorted. "No, I meant beyond that. Will you be able to control your traitorous desire for the sun?"

"I . . . I . . ." I fumbled with my words, struck dumb by his conflicted eyes. I couldn't give him a definitive response, yet I did not wish to disappoint him either. "I don't know."

He sighed again at my hesitant reply. We lay in silence for moment as he tried to gather his thoughts, I was just about to drift off to sleep when Snjór spoke again. "Then, can you promise to be more careful?"

My eyes flickered open in shock at his plea. "I just don't want Mother Hel to—" He broke off his thought with a shudder, remembering all the horrid things our mother was capable of. I smiled consolingly at him, reaching over to fiddle with his soft, silvery strands of hair.

"No need to fret," I stated solemnly, "I swear to you my oath that I will do my utmost best to practice caution and to avoid any sort of danger."

"Good." He yawned, rubbing at his tired eyes. I could feel my face numbing to fall asleep, but there was one last thing I needed to know.

"I just happened to remember something," I spoke up casually, "How are the preparations planned for your future arrangement?"

"Oh, Brother," he groaned quietly, but I could hear the gaiety in his voice, "Must I tell you everything about him?"

"But of course!" I persisted, finally closing my eyes with a satisfied smile, "After all, it is my duty as your elder brother to determine whether or not if he is deserving of you."

"Well, he follows different customs and traditions that we don't have here. For instance, he—"

As we talked, I eventually drifted off to sleep, dreaming not of my brother's future, but of bright blue skies and warm sunlight.

•~•

Oh oh, oh oh,

It should've been us.

It, it, it should've been us...

•~•

"And that's how you fell in love with him?" Alice asked sceptically.

"No, of course not," I told her disdainfully, shaking my head off of the memories I had pulled out of the recesses of my mind. "I wasn't that easy. We had to go through many difficulties before that happened. But yes, I loved him. I said yes when he asked me to stay with him. He offered me love, forever, midnight dances—"

I stopped, unwilling to to bring up the past experiences I had with him. "And look where it got me this time," I laughed dryly. "I thought he was worth the risk. Worth the pain I'm suffering from."

"Luna . . ." Alice reached out her arms to me for a hug, her peridot eyes sympathetic.

"No, I'm fine." I avoided her hands. I didn't want her pity, pity from someone who had already found her other half to a happy ending. Shoving another book into the slim crevice, I continued, "Anyways, I wouldn't even be going through all this if only I hadn't agreed to bond my soul to his. I've been scammed in this lifetime..."

"Then who's more stupid: the idiot, or the one who falls for him?"

"Both, always both," I sighed. "After all, love makes us all fools in the end."

"Right." We finished shelving all the books and took turns pushing the cart back, where other books yearned for us to return them. As we loaded up the cart again, Alice thought out-loud, "How did we bond our souls again?"

"Don't tell me you forgot that too!" I rolled my eyes again. "It was some sort of trend back then, to prove that 'love will last forever!' gesture. I forgot who started it, but everyone was jumping on it, and going off to visit the Soul Mother—"I stopped, an idea forming in my head.

But of course, the Soul Mother! Why hadn't I remembered her sooner?

"And?" Alice raised an eyebrow at my silence.

I turned back to her with a grin. "How you feel about summoning someone tomorrow?"

•~•

What if we ruin it all,

And we love like fools?

And all we have,

We lose?

•~•

A/N: Ahahahahahahahaha! We finally have the first past life~! Whew... \(nwn)/
Doesn't this feel like a whole 'nother story? xDDDD Welp, hopefully I won't take too long with the next chapter, becuz then yall are gonna have to wait until next year... but no worries! I'll definitely have it posted before then! heheheh... *sweats nervously*

It's just that I've gotten a lot more busier than I thought, plus procrastination, plus tempting, shiny new bubbles of inspiration for other stories~ (butIdon'twannastartmoarstoriesthanIcanhandle... ;w;) And I've got another story that's kinda sorta Halloweenish which will be coming out soon, so if you're interested, keep an eye out for it!