Possession

summary: [post season 3, pre season 4] Iris mourned Barry's, his absence the heaviest thing she'd ever had to carry. It wasn't that Iris missed Barry, it was that Barry was missing from her. She knew he was gone, but that didn't stop her from hearing his voice in the wind and seeing shadows that reminded her of how it was and how they loved.

genre: Romance, Angst

rated: T

authors note: title inspiration and lyrics are from "Possession" by Sarah McLachlan

And I would be the one

To hold you down

Kiss you so hard

I'll take your breath away

And after, I'd wipe away the tears

Just close your eyes

The elevator ride felt like slow motion. She could feel her heart pounding, her eyes ready to spill over anxious tears, her hands shaking, lungs craving deep breaths. She was afraid it was a dream.

She had been at work when she received the call from Wally with a story too bizarre to believe but too specific to be unreal. He and Joe had been at home, Wally woking on college coursework and Joe at the kitchen table looking over case files when the whole house started to shake, vibrations coursing throughout the house. Wally had sped downstairs to check on Joe when a brilliant light shone through the home. For a moment it had blinded them. And then as sudden as it began, the light dimmed and the house was still again.

Standing in the entrance was Barry, appearing from nowhere. Wally said he looked confused, tired and frightened, dressed in the suit they had last seen him in. He had glanced towards Wally and Joe, frowned before looking towards the stairs expectantly, and then suddenly his eyes rolled back and he collapsed. Wally had flashed to him to catch his fall and Joe had dropped to his knees beside them, hands grasping Barry's face as Wally supported him.

Wally had wanted to race him to S.T.A.R. Labs but Joe insisted they drive, afraid of what the run would do to Barry and not wanting to let Barry out of his sight. Wally had called her from the car. She had clutched the phone tightly, hands shaking as Wally retold the story, urging her to meet them at the labs.

With a ding that seemed so loud she could feel it in her chest, the elevator ride that seemed as long as the six months since Barry's disappearance came to a stop as the doors opened. She ran through the hall, heels clicking loudly against the floor, racing towards the med bay. Part of her wished she had super speed, her legs taking too long to carry her through the winding halls. The other part of her wanted to stop to breathe, to brace herself for this to all be unreal, that he hadn't returned and this was merely a trick of the mind like the sound of his voice she'd heard or the mirage she'd seen.

She came to a halt in the doorway of the medical bay. Her view was obscured by the crowd surrounding the hospital bed in the center of the room. Harry and Julian who were directly blocking her view turned at her arrival, side stepping out of the way. Wally stood on the far side of the room, the arms crossed over his chest dropped as he stood up straight from where he had been leaning against a desk. Cisco stood at the head of the bed, checking the readings on his tablet. Her father stood to the left of the bed, a hand she could see shaking from where she stood as it held tightly to the hand of the unresponsive figure in the bed.

Barry.

She moved slowly across the room, almost hesitant, afraid to disrupt the scene in front of her as if it would evaporate, like waking from a dream. But as she approached, the realness of the sight started to sink in.

Barry lay in the bed unconscious. Where the blanket was pulled up to his waist, she could see that someone had changed him from the dress clothes, his top half sporting one of the gray S.T.A.R. Labs t-shirts that never seemed to be in short supply. She could see the wires of the heart monitor peeking out of the shirt collar, a nasal cannula fixated on his face, electrodes fastened to his temples, the monitors all showing his vitals stable.

Yet he lay there, unmoving and silent like when he was in the coma for months, like the days spent unconscious after being brutally beaten by Zoom, or like the night he lay lost in a musical dream world.

"Iris," her father said through a shaky breath, the hope in his voice not going unnoticed. He said nothing else as she came to stand on the right side of the bed. She reached out a cautious hand, her hand hovering over Barry's, afraid to touch him because what if he wasn't solid.

The fingers on her left hand, sill adorned in the engagement ring, flexed before resting over his fingers. She didn't gasp when a spark of blue lightning ignited between them as her hand touched his. She'd seen this before. When he was in the coma she'd felt it, when he touched her hand as the Flash, when she'd pulled him from the speed force, when his memory was lost and they kissed she'd felt in on her lips as his powers ignited. There was a spark between them. The shock when they touch, the palpable heat of attraction and chemistry of their emotional connection, the irrepressible tug, the curious magnetic pull that drew them together intensely and intimately. She was his lighting rod, his grounding force, his tether to this place and this time.

She felt the tears roll down her cheeks as she gripped the hand tight, afraid to let it go because it was solid and here and he was alive. She moved to sit on the bed beside him and stared at his face. God, how she'd missed that face. Although slightly different than how she remembered it, his jaw covered in a scruffy beard that reminded her of the one time Barry tried to grow it out to make himself look older, coming to realize he would always be considered 'baby face' at the precinct. His head was tilted slightly towards her on the pillow, face relaxed as if he was simply sleeping. She listened to the beeping of his heart beat, watched his chest rise and fall. She stared at the curves and arches of the face she knew better than her own.

"How?" she finally asked to no one in particular, eyes not tearing away from staring at him, suddenly remembering the others were also in the room.

"We don't know," was all Cisco said before Barry sprung forward with a jolt and a gasp, his hand pulling free from both Joe and Iris' hold. He looked around the room frantically, breathing heavy. Confusion and fear was evident on his face as he tried to take in his surroundings.

"Barry! It's okay, son. You're safe!" Joe hovered over him, strong hands grasping his shoulders, willing the frantic young man to look at him. Barry panted, wordless as he started to calm but pushed Joe's hands away from him. "Barry, do you understand me?"

Barry didn't respond at all, made no indication that he heard him or understood. He just continued too look around the room as he pulled at the electrodes at his temples, unhooking the nasal cannula from behind his ears, shedding the medical equipment. He clenched his eyes shut, raising his hands to his head.

Iris moved her hands to reach for his, slowly as not to startle him, gentle to reassure him he was safe with her. She could hear them talking behind her but she was focused on the man in front of her.

"He's been extra-dimensional energy for the last six months, Ramon. We don't know what's that done to him physically or mentally."

"He might just need time to readjust, Harry."

Barry's panting started to calm as Iris pulled his hands away from his face. He opened his eyes to stare into hers, his distressed expression softening as she smiled at him. She brought his hands up to her face, pressing them against her cheeks to hold her like he'd done when he left, when he would reassure her, when he needed her to hear him. She may be his lighting rod, but he had always been as much a grounding force for her as she was for him.

"Hi," she whispered, smiling as tears rolled down her cheeks, his green eyes welling up as he looked into hers. She expected him to say something, anything. Instead she could feel his thumbs softly stroking her cheeks as her own thumbs stroked the back of the hands cupping her face.

Suddenly, Barry lunged forward, pulling her gently to him as their lips locked. It was a soft brush of the lips at first but Iris moved her hands from his to clasp the sides of his neck, tugging at him till the kiss was crushing. As he kissed her deeply she could feel the spark of the lightning in his body as if it the Speed Force itself was enveloping her with him.

She could feel Barry's lips turn into a smile against her lips and she broke the kiss only to pull away enough to touch her forehead to his, staring at each other almost crosseyed.

He was breathless as they parted and she wanted more, was craving more but there would be time for that. They had the time now. He'd come running home to her just as he promised he always would. She would never let him leave her again. He was hers, every hour, every minute of every day, he was hers.

"Iris," he sighed, finally speaking, smiling at her through his own tears. Her thumb moved to brush one away, reveling in the feel of his skin in her hands.

His voice was quiet, meant only for her but she could hear the collective sighs around the rooms as Barry said her name. His voice was quiet but for Iris it could have well as been a shout because she watched him say her name, heard the word out loud rather than whispered in the wind, felt the breath of his sigh against her face.

She wanted to tell him how much she missed him, how she felt his absence in her bones. But no words could describe to him the pain she had felt with him gone, the joy she felt with him here now. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him. He said it so often when they were together and she thought she hadn't said it enough when she had the chance. Suddenly those six months no longer mattered. Their future was ahead of them again; he was here, he was hers. There were no words she could say that could equate to everything she felt she settled with the only thing she could say that wouldn't break her down with the weight of her emotions.

"Welcome home, Barry."