A/N:

-To see the inspiration for this story, google "California Highway Patrol Unicorn."

-Every summer, movie studios release a slew of action-adventure films that aren't Oscar-winning dramas but instead rake in the cash just for being exciting and fun. That's the idea behind this story: It's not great (but hopefully it's not bad), and it's just meant to be a fun adventure with two bickering heroes in the blistering Hawaiian sunshine.

But unlike the summer blockbusters, this one is set in the winter. Not that you'd notice. Cause it's pretty much the same.

Prologue

"Hey brah. Howzit?"

"Hey Chin." Danny Williams cast a cautious glance out his office window. "How long did you say you and Kono would be gone again?"

"Ten days. And we've only been gone for a few, so what's wrong?"

"It's our fearless leader."

"Ah," Chin replied knowingly. "What did Steve do now?"

…

"Duke, Danny Williams here… Hi, fine, how are you?... Yeah, okay, about that-" Danny glanced nervously through the blinds in his office to confirm his partner was still preoccupied with the not-so-accidentally-leaking coffee pot in the break room. "Duke, we need a case… Yeah, I don't care, any case. Just give us the next case that comes in."

Danny turned away from the window and threaded a frustrated hand through his hair. "Why? Cause my partner is driving everyone crazy, that's why. He's a crazy, cooped-up animal who needs something to do before he turns feral and kills me. He almost shot me this morning and- what? No, I don't want to file a report. … Yeah, no, throwing Steve in lockup wouldn't really help, I don't think. Probably do more harm than good, at least to anybody else who's in lockup with him…. What happened? Nothing happened. All I did was make the mistake of tapping him on the shoulder."

What Danny didn't tell Duke was that Steve's behavior was also straining their friendship. Irritable and jumpy, Steve had snapped at Kono last week for a stray pen left on the smart table and growled at Chin for the delay on their requisition forms. When Danny had tried to gently chide him, Steve had jumped down his throat, too.

"If boredom affects you this badly, then explain to me how on earth you survive on a ship in the middle of the friggen ocean for months at a time?!" Danny had demanded to know.

"That's completely different," Steve huffed. "A Navy ship is not a cruise liner, Danny. We have to keep the ship running and operating by ourselves, from cooking to cleaning the toilets. Add to that our PT schedule, training, and drills, and there's just enough time left to eat and sleep. And sometimes not even that."

Danny plopped down in the chair behind his desk. Through the windows in the lobby, he saw Steve hold up a wad of soggy paper towels and gesture angrily. Danny shrugged an apology and gestured back at his phone. With a soundless huff, Steve turned sharply on his heel and returned to the breakroom.

"I know, Duke, trust me, I know. It's been almost a month with no bombs, no terrorists, and no international incidents. I mean, I appreciate the criminals taking a hiatus and all, but it's not helping Hyper Hulk, if you catch my drift. And the cousins are on Molokai, so his usual sparring partner- Kono- is absent. He's been hiking already, done every trail on the island, camping, fishing, surfing, swimming, sailing, you name it, but none of those really fit the bill, you know?" He tilted his head, following Steve's progress as his partner made another trip to the storage closet for a fresh roll of paper towels.

"No, I tried that. He doesn't do vacations like the rest of us." Danny twirled a pen absently between his fingers as Duke offered up suggestions. "No, good grief, that would be a disaster. I'm worried about my safety here. The man needs to either shoot something or blow something up, preferably both."

Danny paused as Steve marched across the bullpen to his office and began rummaging through the cabinets. Probably duct tape, Danny thought, to fix the coffee pot. He would have snickered, but after the incident this morning, it wasn't quite funny.

"His reserves training isn't for another several weeks, unfortunately," he told Duke on the other end of the phone. "I've got him distracted this morning with a busted coffee pot, but that's only going to last so long." Seeing Steve emerge with a tube of epoxy and a roll of duct tape, he added, "Never mind, the coffee pot is fixed. So yes, we need a case."

He waved as Steve rapped on the window with the now nearly-fixed pot and gave Danny a broad smile. God, the man was like a child sometimes. A hyperactive, hyperdestructive child. Danny couldn't imagine the trouble Doris had gone through raising the smaller, younger version of the Navy SEAL. He sighed, thankful to have ended up with Grace instead.

"Duke, I'll take literally any case at this point. … No, it really doesn't matter. In fact, you know what? Just give me the next call that comes in. I don't care what it is- parking tickets, cat in tree, Granny thinks the neighbor's dog is a peeping Tom- whatever it is, we'll take it. Just assign it to Five-0."

Steve waved his arms impatiently, and Danny forced a smile, pointed to the phone, and waved back.

"Okay, thanks Duke. I owe you one…. yeah, bye."

…

A/N: I had fun writing it, but because this is summer and my brain is addled from swimming in the river, please don't expect too much of me. Do let me know if you see plot holes. Hope you enjoy it!