It had been six weeks since that night, six weeks since that highly intoxicated and idiotic night. A night that wrecked the dynamics of their relationship, he had slept with his boss, Bull. Caught up in the emotions of the night, being arrested by the FBI and being angry with Bull for deceiving him, he'd gotten ridiculously drunk. Too drunk for rationale which led to his remarkably stupid mistake. Admittedly Benny had vented his pent up stress with the devil's drink, as did many others, including Bull. Instead of becoming a mess, the liquor gave Benny unbelievable confidence; confidence to stand up for himself and confront Bull.

Benny hadn't made the first move but he also didn't reject his boss's advances. Bull had explicitly explained his motives but Benny carried on about wrecklessness and irresponsibility, Bull intervened with a kiss. Whilst the memories from that night were hazy Benny had remembered the spark and the surging content. The moment should have stostopped there but instead the moment stampeded and before he knew it the two were locked inside Bull's office with the blinds closed up against the desk. Rather, Benny; pressed against the desk, bent exposed. He liked it; something about it seemed right and needed - at least at the time in question. It had hurt; it was sticky and gross, and widely uncomfortable. He loved it. He was a good Catholic boy; but we all know about how 'good' and innocent Catholics really are.

In the morning, however, not so much. He'd woken up on the sofa, covered in a blanket; all alone. From the instant he opened his eyes regret washed over him, along with strong nausea and a head ache. Benny had begun to feel uncontrollably bashful, as he peeped through the gaps in the blinds, everybody stood surrounding the office. He managed to face the crowd, to only be met with abrasion. Pulled back into the office, Bull had explained that their encounter last night was a blunder, to never be mentioned, that they were still, 'just friends'.

Benny somewhat resented Bull's approach to their connection, treating something amazing as just a simple slip up, that would be easy to brush under the rug. Benny, for one, wasn't likely to forget what had happened so quickly. A sore backside and bruises on his hip bones and shins was a long-lasting reminder of that stupid night.

Benny thought about that night often, pleasuring himself to it on occasion. Yet, his relationship with Bull had taken a blow. Things were awkward and neither made much effort to communicate, it had made Benny frustrated to the point of sleeping with a client for some attention. Even still Bull remained distant and eventually Benny stopped confiding in Bull and his work became slack.

Today would seem like none other, nothing different. The usual routine; Benny would get up and have a shower and get dressed, drink a coffee on the commute to work and half heartedly show up at the office. Benny summed his new found fatigue up to his lack of motivation; he snoozed his 6AM alarm three times and woke up begrudgingly at quarter past 7.

Feeling slightly lightheaded, he gripped the foot of the bed for sturdy support. He took a deep breath and rubbed his chest, he'd been struggling with heartburn quite frequently for the last two weeks and it was starting to become overwhelming. Still, he pressed on. Missing his morning shower and simply wiping his face with a cloth and putting gel in his hair. He didn't look fresh, but he didn't look half bad either. A clean suit and a fresh smile masked his tiredness.

Benny hailed for a taxi and hoped in as one pulled up. He gave the driver the address and they were on their way, the bumps and dips in the poorly managed roads made his stomach flip and churn. He groaned slightly but eagerly tried distract himself with the rustle of the busy streets passing by. He couldn't have been more rejoiced when the taxi stopped; Benny forked over the 20 dollars and bid the driver a good day.

Benny's stomach hadn't eased up, its discomfort became audible, letting out loud rumbles and whines. Ignoring the noises, Benny walked into work and clocked in. He was half an hour late, a pattern of tardiness had stolen his punctuality record, yet he didn't actually care. Benny followed his way to the elevator and pressed the button. The two grey metallic does slid open and people rushed out, Benny stepped in and pressed the appropriate level. The lift jerked and squealed concerningly, like usual. However, the motion of the elevator reaped havoc on his stomach, before he knew it, his stomach had lurched and a hand flung to his mouth. Sure enough, he was about to vomit.

Rushing passed those waiting to get on, bashing into a few shoulders as he ran unconsciously to the bathrooms. Eyes watched him make his way, frowning concerned. Benny threw open the door to the first bathroom stall and flung his bag on the floor. Unmanageable amount of vomit erupted from his stomach, most of which were the remains of last night's Indian. It had been a terrible meal to begin; having to experience it twice was no laughing matter. Despite how much he emptied his stomach, the burning feeling of intense nausea wasn't subsiding.

Meanwhile, a worried coworker hurried to find somebody to help, stumbling across Chunk, "Colón is in the bathroom, sick." He panted.

"Benny?" Chunk seemed sceptical and confused, never had he seen Benny sick or otherwise in ill-health, "alright...I'll check on him." He held with him two new pressed suits, carried by the hook of the hanger. Chunk manoeuvred through the people in the hall until he reached the bathroom, already be could hear the sound of violent retching. Opening the door, he quietly approached the stall; others hovered around the door listening curiously. "Nothing to see here people." Chunk shooed the nosey ones away.

"Chunk?" Benny enquired, whilst disgustingly puking up bile.

"Yeah, it's me. You alright in there?" He picked up Benny's bag from its trapped position underneath the door. He grimaced with every stomach wrenching yak.

"Peachy." The one syllable response was all he could muster, it seemed as though nothing was coming up anymore but he still continued to battle with episodes of dry heaving. He was sweating and sort of crying from frustration and weakness.

"Can I, erm, come in?" Not waiting for a reply, he hooked the suits on the back of the door and opened it gingerly. Benny sat up against the side of the stall, in an absolute state. His hair had fallen flat, drenched in sweat and his skin turned a ghostly pale. Chunk closed his eyes and reached over to flush the toilet. "Care to enlighten me as to why you've been acting weird lately?" Benny sighed heavily, "don't try lying to me either; Bull isn't the only one who knows what's what."

"It's probably just something I've eaten. I'll be alright." Benny reassured, Chunk sassily shot Benny a 'yeah right' glare, probing for more information.

"C'mon, spill it. You've not been the same in weeks." Benny took a big dry gulp of saliva, pushing down whatever was snaking is way up his oesophagus. Luck had not blessed himthis morning and his efforts had been ignored, barely making it back to the bowl before he pukedonce more. Chunk rubbed his friend's back, filled with empathy.

"Tissue..." Benny muttered, "Tissue..."

"Tissue?" Chunk unraveled some tissue from the roll, "here". Benny pulled his head up from the bowl; sick dripped from his chin and embarrassingly ran from his nose. He felt like death personified.

"I can trust you, Chunk." His stomach settled once more, allowing him to collect his thoughts and take a breath, "I haven't told anybody this..." He blotted the sweat on his forehead with the cleanside of the tissue.

"You can tell me anything, you know that." Chunk pulled his trousers up at the legs and took a very uncomfortable and cramped position on the floor next to Benny, ignoring the cost of the suit and the hygiene - or there lack of - of the floor.

"Six or seven weeks ago, something happened that I'm not all too proud of. I was drunk and slept with somebody that I shouldn't have." Chunk laughed slightly, astonished by Benny's innocent nature.

"Why do I have a bad feeling abouy this?" Chuck laid a hand on Benny's shoulder reassuringly. Benny shook his head, flooding disappointment engulfed him as became negatively nostalgic, and a once pleasant memory had been turned into something to be ashamed of.

"This was bad," The words choked in his mouth, spitting them out was proving to be quite the challenge. Admitting it so openly made it all too real, but he couldn't bare the burden of keeping such a giant secret, "I slept with Bull." Benny made ice cold, emotionless eye contact with Chunk.

"Oh." It came as quite a shock, "no wonder the atmosphere has been so tense." An easy observation that nearly everybody had picked up on but never been able to explain, "Is there anything going on between you two now?"

"No. It was a one night kind of deal." The knots in his stomach had begun to untangle, it felt like such a huge relief to finally be taking about his issues. If anything, it cured his nausea.

"Bull doesn't seem like that kind of guy." Whilst Bull was highly secretive about his ventures outside of work, his behavior had been off recently, it seemed obvious that he was dating but nobody could figure out who.

"Yeah, well..." Benny scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"I take it you aren't satisfied with this 'deal'?" Chunk had picked up on Benny's overtly annoyed body language.

"Of course, it was a stupid, drunken mistake. But pretending it didn't happen isn't the solution." Since that brisk conversation in Bull's office the morning after, that might hadn't been mentioned again but it hung over his head and he could tell Bull was bothered by it. Their lapse of sanity was eating away at their friendship and was destroying their professional relationship. Benny couldn't work under these conditions any longer.

"I agree, you need to talk to him. Try and ease some of that hostility in the air, it's so thick you couldn't even cut it with a chainsaw, believe me." Benny scoffed, he hadn't realised it was so obvious, he always tried to mask his feelings and he thought he was doing well. Benny held out a hand, asking for assistance to stand. Chunk slowly pulled his friend off of the floor, "maybe you should give today a miss? Seems like you need to be at home over your own toilet rather than these filthy things."

"Nah, I'll be fine. I'm alright now." Benny hadn't even thought about the state of the toilet, at one point he had his cheek resting on the seat. The thought made him cringe.

"Why are you so stubborn?" Chunk passed Benny his bag and they both left the stall.

"I learned from the best." The two chuckled, having somebody in mind, of whom influenced them both. Benny glanced at his reflection in the mirror, he tugged and pulled at his skin, "I look awful." Grey bags under his eyes, swollen cheeks, pale complexion and a wet mess of hair.

"You're ill; you're allowed to look ill." Benny tutted, there wasn't anything he could do to change his appearance now and had to accept it, "hot mess." Chunk teased.

"Yeah, yeah." Benny smiled bashfully as they left the bathroom; of all people to come and comfort him, he was glad it was Chunk. Eyes watched as the two strolled into the office, fashionably late.

"Where have you two been?" Marrissa broke away from her computer screen, greeting her colleagues. Her eyes fixated on Benny, curious but not prying as to why he looked so drained.

"Nowhere." Benny cut in before Chunk could reply with an honest answer. Bull cocked a disbelieving brow and glanced between the two late arrivals. He wasn't stupid; he knew the two had been up to something that he'd been left out of again.

"You alright Bennz? You look kinda fried." Cable took one look at Benny and and cut through the awkwardness in the air. It wasn't in her nature to idly sit by, probably because of her robust youth.

"I'm exceptional." Benny watched with little or no reaction from Bull, who hadn't even turned to look at him, or take any interest in his wellbeing - some friend.

"Let's get on with some work now, shall we?" Benny rolled his eyes at how Bull shrugged off the situation. Yet, he didn't have the courage to call his boss out on his ignorance. Instead he took off his coat and took a seat, if Bull wanted to work, that's fine. The exchange -or lack of- was noticed by the rest of the group but neither wished to intervene.

The rest of today maintained at a stable medium of disappointment, this morning had repeated itself and Benny found himself throwing up a grand total of three times more throughout the duration of the day. By the time the day was over, Benny was physically exhausted, he shook uncontrollably and could barely walk in a straight line.

"I called you a taxi." Bull approached Benny, who had his head rested on his desk. He'd lost track of time sleeping, unintentionally.

"Hu?" Benny came to, and effortlessly lifted his head up, it felt heavy on his small neck, "oh, right." He replied; surprised to see Bull standing over him, "thanks." Bull hasn't spoken to him in just over a week, not in a nice way anyway.

"If you're like this tomorrow, don't come in." Bull's voice seemed sturn but his face seemed almost compassionate, which was a remarkable improvement.

"Believe me, I won't." Benny smirked, knowing he had sick days he had accumulated over the year; he could rest easy knowing that if he felt the same tomorrow, he would not be coming into work. At least at home he could sit in his favourite dressing-gown and lay in bed.

"Get well Benny." Bull watched Benny walk out, without a response. He hardly blamed him, it's not like he's been all that supportive today, but something in his psyche had prevented him from making the connection. He could tell Benny resented him for it.

Sure enough a taxi sat out front of the building. Benny couldn't have been more thankful to just sit and go. Bull had already paid the fare so Benny sleepily staggered out of the taxi and swept up to his apartment. He dumped his coat and bag on the door step and kicked off his shoes. Not even putting on pyjamas, he collapsed into bed.

Waking up the next morning, Benny was stiff. His neck was cramped and his shoulder felt numb. Dry patched of drool smered across his right cheek evidently showed how deeply he slept. The brightness shining through the curtains was blinding for 6AM, making it impossible to sleep any longer despite how desperately he wanted to.

Hence why, it came as no surprise that it wasn't actually 6AM but 10AM. He'd slept through his alarm and through his phone's constant reminders. He wondered how he could still feel so exhausted after sleeping for little more than 12 hours, twice his usual amount of sleep. He turned onto his back and stared blankly at the ceiling. He rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, moving them from his face. Doing so he realised how sweaty he was and how greasy his hair had gotten.

Having a shower was the first thing on his list, hoping that it wake himself up a little more. With a heavy sigh, he reluctantly got out of bed. Dragging his heels as he walked towards the bathroom, he turned on the hot water and began to strip off. He caught a glimpse of his profile in the mirror. Stopping to take notice of how bloated he looked. Admittedly, he didn't have rock hard abs, but there was a remarkable difference in his figure, which he shrugged off as being a symptom of whatever he was suffering from. Although, he knew that he needed to free up more time to exercise during the day.

After cleaning himself up, he dried himself with the towel and put on a fresh pair of pyjamas; not seeing the need to put on anything else, just a crappy old pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt. A shower was the perfect thing, making him feel better and a little less dead. So much so, he no longer dragged his feet but practically skipped to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Being the busy man he was, a coffee machine was the best investment he'd ever made. In under a minute he had a perfectly brewed coffee.

He brought the mug over to the sofa and threw his body onto the chair. It was a rarity having such leisure time. He didn't completely know what to do with it, would he watch TV, would he go out for the day, or simply sit in and read a book? He knew one thing; that he was hungry! Having technically not eaten for almost two days, his stomach was protesting with anger, 'feed me!'.

"Alright, alright, I hear you." Benny acknowledged his hunger. He opened the fridge doors and shifted through what he had in stock, pulling out: bacon, cheese, margarine and the bread from the lower draw. A bacon sandwich sounded incredibly appealing.

The smell of fried bacon was something he long missed, and the sweet sizzle made his hunger ravenous. He fried the bread and slapped on some cheese, making a perfect grilled sandwich. Whilst it was still piping hot, fresh from the pan, Benny took a greedy bite; scoring the roof of his mouth. He had no regrets. The sandwich didn't quite make it back to the sofa, he'd eaten it so quickly but at least he wasn't hungry anymore.

Channel surfing, Benny came across an old past time, The Jery Springer Show. He knew he was above watching such drama but the temptation was too real, before long, Benny had become engrossed in the action, booing and cheering along with the audience. That is until, heart burn took over. He had some antacids in his cupboard ready to take to help neutralise his stomach acid. Benny pulled the bottle out of the cupboard and ran himself a glass of water, he clamped down on the work surface, as the heartburn shifted to a surging nausea. Taking deep breaths, he tried to ride out the urge.

Again, it would seem, that whatever had gotten to him, was about to attack again. He rushed to the bathroom, and collapsed onto the floor in front of the toilet, purging again and again, uncontrollably. At least today, the toilet he was hugging was his own - a small victory. He presumed he'd been in there for at least an hour before he could safely pull himself away. He cursed himself for eating so quickly, everybody knows that you're supposed to fast after being ill, and of all things he had eaten meat and cheese. 'That's it', he promised, 'no more food'.

Not that it did all that much good; he still spent the majority of the day chucking up the remainder of his stomach and then some, including a tidal wave of coffee. When the usual dinner time came around, Benny was starving but made no attempt to eat, he just filled up on water - sometimes too much water which coincidentally came straight back up.

His empty stomach, providing no nutrients to his body, made him extremely tired. Exhaustion had crippled him and left him ridden to the sofa. He fell asleep almost instantly at close to 6PM.

The next three days were practically identical, the nausea and vomiting hadn't subsided and Benny began to wither away. Having not eaten anything in days, he was exhausted permanently, no matter how much sleep he got every night. Today however, he had decided enough was enough. He had to go to the doctor and get some kind of medication or have his stomach pumped if need be. Benny woke up at 7AM to call his doctor and arrange an emergency appointment. Luckily he managed to get one for the very same day with a great deal of haggling.

Benny took a handful of antacids before leaving the house; he would give anything to not need to throw up on the way there. Thankfully the road less travelled was better managed and as such was less bumpy and uneven. Benny paid his fare and hurried inside, not wanting to be late for his appointment, knowing that he wouldn't get another one any time soon.

"Benny Colón, here to see Dr Hutson." The elderly lady kept her head fixed on her computer screen. She tapped away at her keyboard, looking up only briefly to verify the picture on file.

"Take a seat." The last replied groggily. Benny didn't blame the woman for her tone, seeing as working in the field of medicine was particularly stressful -even on reception staff. Still, he did as he was told and took a seat.

He must have been waiting for at least half an hour patiently before his name was called, "Benny?" The nurse peaked her head round the corner. Benny followed her to the office.

"Long time, no see my boy." Dr Huston greeted Benny with a firm and friendly handshake. Benny had pride in his clean bill of health, it'd been five years since his last appointment, and even then it was only for a physical after coming back from a trip abroad.

"How've you been?" Benny quizzed, he had noticed that his doctor had significantly aged since the last time he'd seen him. Dr Huston had been his doctor since birth; he was the one who delivered him some 36 years ago.

"Oh fine, fine! The real question we should be answering here today is; how are you? What seems to be bothering you?" Benny gave a brief description of his symptoms over the phone to the receptionist when booking the appointment, but of course it was imperative to relay more than the basics.

"I don't know Doc. I've not been myself the last couple of days; I don't think I can handle much more." Even as they spoke, Benny felt nauseas. He bargained that the only reason he wasn't being sick right now was because that there physically was nothing left.

"So I've heard; nausea, vomiting, heartburn, dissyness and fatigue?" Dr Huston read from the file, his head already swimming with possible diagnoses.

"Yes, Sir. The only reason I made an appointment today was because of the vomiting. For the last few days I haven't even been able to eat." Dr Huston had a 'eureka' moment and Benny had seen the older gentleman's face light up with glee.

"I'm going to take your blood pressure." Benny took off his leather jacket and scarf whilst his doctor grabbed the sphygmomanometer from his cupboard. Ripping it by the velcro and wrapping it around Benny's right arm. He switched on the machine and Benny felt the brace become increasingly tight, so much so he could feel the pulse in his arm, running from his index finger to his elbow. "Ah, interesting." The doctor noted Benny's blood pressure levels.

"What's interesting?" Benny watched curiously.

"You've got low blood pressure, it's surprising given that at your last check up you had high blood pressure. It may be partially due to the lack of food in your system." Dr Huston rubbed his chin with his thumb as he collected his thoughts, "would you mind lying down and lifting up your shirt?" Benny did as he was told.

"Mind me asking what this is about?" Benny was beginning to get slightly nervous, the lack of communication and the constant 'mnnns' and 'ahhs' made him feel left out.

"Just a theory, have you been struggling with sudden weight gain? You look bloated." The doctor's cold hands began pressing and squeezing Benny's stomach gingerly. Dr Huston took out his stethoscope and proceeded to listen in on Benny's internals.

"This? I was sure it was because of being ill. Besides, it's harder to maintain weight getting on in age." Benny replied shyly. He hadn't been keeping in shape for a while now and his laziness seemed to have apparent implications.

"I wouldn't be so sure. Now, be honest, have you had any sexual intercourse recently?" Benny scoffed, shocked by the question.

"Why should that matter? Do I have some kind of infection?" Dr Huston laughed effervescently, Benny grew impatient and confused, and surely an STI was no laughing matter.

"If my predictions are correct, I think you've inherited something a little more than an infection Benny, my son." Again speaking in tongues, "let me rephrase my previous question, have you had any sexual intercourse with a male in the last two months?"

"It was one night!" Benny exclaimed defensively.

"One night, apparently not long enough." Whilst he didn't take Benny to be interested in men, he bore no prejudice. What was above all else was that Benny was healthy, and by extension, his growing problem, "I'll have to do more tests to confirm but, it is my expert opinion that you could be pregnant." Benny frowned, in total disbelief.

"I'm no medical professional but, men don't get pregnant, Doc." Benny began to believe that his doctor had become senile in his old age, whilst somewhat funny, widely unhelpful in solving his issue.

"Improbable, not impossible. Statistically, it is extremely rare. I've only ever heard of a few cases, it's estimated that one in every 800 million men are able to carry children." Benny punched the bridge of his nose and shook his head amusingly.

"You're telling me, that it is not only possibly for men to get pregnant, but that I may be one of those freak 'one in 800 million'?" Benny stood off of the bed and pulled his shirt back down. He was astounded by the ludicrous things his doctor was spitting out, he began questioning his professionalism.

"Yes. It hardly sounds far fetched. Your symptoms accompanied by the presence of a second heart beat under the stethoscope can be perfectly explained by you being about seven to eight weeks pregnant." Benny was flabbergasted by how calm the doctor was being about giving such a diagnosis, this obviously wasn't normal and the realisation began to make Benny dissy.

"Two heart beats?" Benny confirmed.

"Yes Dear boy. It was very clear." Maybe his exhaustion was messing with his emotions but he couldn't help feeling a heavy lump formulate in the depths of his throat. Clenching his jaw, he fought back the tears.

"But there are tests you need to do? I don't care what they are, just do them." The dooming fear of something more arising from that stupid night made his spine tingle. He knew for sure that if it turns out to be true - however unlikely it may be - he would like it gone before it got too late.

"A simple urine test for Hcg levels. Since this is a matter of urgency, I'll personally have this analysed the moment it is done for results as soon as possible. In the mean time, if you wish to take a home pregnancy test, I find them highly accurate." Benny for a moment thought he was trapped in some kind of sick dream, and pinched his underarm to snap himself out of the trance. Of course, nothing really worked that way, he really was awake and receiving such news.

"Right." Benny had slipped into a stunned silence, the doctor smiled facetiously. He'd seen this many times before with women during his 40 year career.

"Here." Dr Huston pulled out a pot and scribbled on the label, "I need you to fill this up." Benny needed no further explanation, "the toilet is just over there." He pointed a joyful finger at the door at the back of the room. Genuinely the doctor was over the moon, being able to work so closely with a medical mystery was fascinating. Whilst congratulatory, he also lavished in the glory of possibly releasing an academic paper.

Benny sat on the lid of the toilet. He stared down at the empty pot in his hands, he sneered at the very thought of being pregnant. He felt ridiculously foolish and embarrassed for being so easily doped. It had to be a joke - there was no alternative explanation.

Or was it?

He felt like pulling his hair out as frustration and rage deluded his mind. He had come to the doctors for a simple solution to his heart burn and fatigue, anticipating a prescription for some drugs or some standard tests. He by no means ever expected to be sitting on the toilet about to piss in a small pot to find out whether he was pregnant or not. His life has become a joke, it was undebatable.

He humored the doctor, he filled up the specimen. He felt too embarrassed and ashamed to look the doctor in the eye once he handed back the pot. With the promise of results within the next two days, he left. He couldn't have been more desperate to leave.

The cool September air felt refreshing against his skin, he inhaled deeply and everything around him just seemed to buzz quicker than light, yet he stood watching the hussle and bustle of the city meanwhile in his own world, things seemed to slow down. Had he really just been through that? Was this really happening? So many unanswerable questions as to why he was being cursed in such a way, which may never find answers. In this moment he felt sick to his stomach and depressed, things were falling apart and he feared that his life was set on a spiral of decline.

He fancied sitting on the steps of the hospital until the got the phone call with the results. At least then he wouldn't slip off home and fall into a state of anxiety. The probability of rain put him off of the idea; he didn't need the added burden of the flu.

As if by chance, his phone begins to ring. A sharp distraction from his temperamental state, the caller ID made him unintentionally smile, 'Chunk'.

"Hello?" Benny asked with relief.

"It's Chunk. How's it going? Haven't seen you in a few days." Chunk's voice seemed sympathetic and fantastically uplifting as the only voice he'd heard in the last four days had told him he was knocked up.

"I've been to the doctor today and he's given me something for the nausea." Benny skived off the truth. Not entirely knowing what was truth at this stage.

"Good, good. Are you well enough for a coffee?" Benny really wanted to say no and to go home and wallow in self-pity, not that it would be the best use of his time.

"Yeah, sure." He could use the pick-me-up, "our usual?"

"You know it. I'll see you in 15." Chunk abruptly hung up the phone, there was something about today's generation that hated to say goodbye. Either way, Benny put his phone back into his coat pocket and effortlessly fixed his hair.

He walked to the coffee shop rather than taking a taxi, the fresh air was good for the nausea and the cafe was close enough to make the journey on foot. Walking into the cafe sent his senses soaring, he hadn't eaten anything but dry toast for days and the sweet smell of pastries was very almost orgasmic. Chunk waved from across the room, already a coffee sat out forhim.

"Thanks man." Benny took a nostalgic inhale, breathing in the aroma.

"You look like you could use a coffee. I take it you're not feeling any better?" Chunk could tell from Benny's appearance that something wasn't quite right still. He wondered as to how the man even managed to leave the house upon inspection of Benny's shivering.

"Not really. It should be alright soon, I've got some tests coming in tomorrow." Chunk hadn't realised it was serious enough to warrant any kind of rest.

"Any idea on what it is yet?" Benny avoided eye contact and blew across the surface of his coffee to cool it down.

"They have a rough idea. Nothing can be confirmed yet." Whilst it was not a lie, he was also not telling the truth. He knew Chunk deserved at least that, but chances are that if it was pregnancy, he could get rid of the problem before it ever came to telling anybody.

"Ah, I see." It was obvious that Benny was hiding something but he opted to not press the matter any further as whatever it was, had made Benny highly shaken, "want something to eat? My treat." Benny wished he could reply with a yes add he so eagerly wanted, but giving into temptation would ruin his toast only diet.

"I shouldn't." Benny sunk into himself a little further.

"Well, I heard that ginger is good for nausea. Maybe they've got something for you?" Before Benny could reach out and stop Chunk, he had already left the table and was browsing the display case. He brought back with him a few dozen gingernut cookies, "try it." Benny had been fooled by food before. He reluctantly took a cookie from the bag and brought it close to his lips.

"I swear, if this doesn't work..." Benny bravely took a mighty bite. It was tasty; buttery and soft, he liked it. So much so that he finished the next two cookies in the bag. So far, so good - he was extremely relieved.

"Somebody was hungry?" Chunk was almost mortified by the speed at which Benny engulfed the cookies.

"You have no idea." Benny replied sarcastically, wiping away the crumbs that sat at the corners of his mouth. He had been starving for days just trying to starve off any possible bug he'd caught; knowing that it could possibly be morning sickness made his efforts seem wasted.

"Any plans on returning to work?" It had to be mentioned sooner it later, "We all miss you." He added, making it personal which made Benny squirm uncomfortably.

"Not yet. Once I've gotten this problem solved, I'll come back." That was a promise. Whilst it did seem like the sickness was a clever rouge to hide his problems with Bull, he wished it was only that simple. If anything, it only had the potential to make their situation a lot worse.

Their coffee date didn't last all too much longer as Chunk had to return to work but Benny was grateful for the company. He truly wanted nothing more but to return back to work, he was bored and life felt without purpose just sitting at home relaxing. He hadn't lived so aimlessly since he was fresh from university, he wondered how so many people could live this way for years on end.

Two days went by painstakingly and nauseously slowly, Benny had taken up scratching up the walls just waiting for some spec of news. It had kept him up at night and the worry gave him stomach cramps which only fed into his paranoia. He never left the comfort of the sofa, with his phone in his hand 24/7, not wanting to miss anything.

Somehow over the last two days he'd brought into the possibility of being pregnant, he still hated the idea, but no longer saw it as an impossible outcome after spending two days doing research. What frightened him most was the number of unanswered questions he had, nowhere did he find anything about any kind of termination nor had he found a single account of anybody living past labor. The lack of anything on the subject was greatly concerning. It was hardly surprising, the most recent records are from 1915, but this still served no comfort.

Upon his quest for knowledge, he had stumbled across several movies. He hadn't wanted to watch them, but for reference sake he made himself. He watched, Junior staring Arnold Schwarzenegger which embarrassingly made him tearful towards the end. He also watched the recent comedy, 'Mamaboy' which he found awkward and cheesey, nevertheless, it painted a more realistic scenario of being rejected by Bull in the instance he had to keep the baby and how he would most likely be socially ridiculed.

Nothing about his situation seemed positive, hence why he waited for the phone call, preying that the results came back negative.

Results came in at 12 that day, Dr Huston read through the report and triple checked the findings himself, conducting the test more than three times. Results were submitted anonymously so Dr Huston exercised his poker face to hide how the news made him feel. Once he was 100% sure of what he had found he locked himself in his office and scoured the network for Benny's phone number.

The phone rang, at first Benny stared at the phone screen as it lit up, his heart rate plummeted. Taking a deep breath, he held the phone to his ear and muted the TV.

"Hello? Is this Benny Colón?" Benny recognised his doctor's voice on the other end of the line. The call he had been waiting yet dreading, he felt nerve-rackingly unprepared.

"Tell me the good news Doc; I can't stand this any longer." His stomach flipped and his mouth became watery, he felt nauseas once again, with stress amplifying its effects. He knew that, whatever the outcome, he would be able to eventually rid himself of this debilitating condition.

"I'm glad to have you on the phone, the results are in, your wait is over. I know how difficult the wait must have been." Benny couldn't breath, crippled with fear.

"What is it doc? Am I knocked up or do we need to start looking elsewhere?" Benny hoped for the latter. Yet, the small chuckle in response wasn't reassuring. Benny's palms became clammy and his back wet with disquietude.

"I can, with 100% certainty, say that you my boy are pregnant." In that moment he felt faint, his head was spinning and disbelief washed over him. His entire body went numb; the words circled around in his mind 'you're pregnant'.

"But there's a way to end it? Right?" Benny's voice was hoarse and raspy, stuttering with shock. His Catholic morals had been completely disregarded in a matter of seconds.

"Through invasive surgical procedure, although it is not without its risks. I take it you're not interested in a congratulations?" Dr Huston became disheartened by Benny's reaction; he'd really wanted things to work

in his favour.

"No! I'm not. All I'm interested in is having the procedure." Whatever risks associated with the surgery, didn't even compare to the risks of having the child or even trying to raise it. He wasn't the maternal or even the paternal type; children were not part of his life plan - especially children with Bull.

"I see." Dr Huston spoke sullenly, "I would recommend a few days to mull things over. News like this is quite shocking. Maybe, now this is only a suggestion, try reaching out to the father." Benny knew his rights, he didn't have to tell Bull anything, he had every right to have the procedure and Bull would be none the wiser.

"I'd rather not, doc." Benny knew that Bull was rather liberal but even this was too weird to understand. Nor did Benny know exactly how Bull would react, if Bull was to want to keep the child, he'd feel intimidated into keeping the baby.

"I would like you to come down to my office, run a thorough examination. Come by my office as soon as you can." Benny agreed to the arrangement and hung up the phone. He contemplated throwing his phone against the wall, instead he screamed a little with rage. He'd turned into a 5'5" ball of fury.

What he usually did when he was feeling so down was go to confession, but how could he step foot in the holy grounds having broken so many sins? Heck, he was a walking sin. Still, he needed the comfort and reassurance from his priest. Whether or not his priest could give him some guidance was important and imperative in coming to grips with such a difficult decision. Benny straightened himself out and put on some nice clothes, he admittedly missed his usual attire - slacks only made him feel more sluggish.

He hadn't brushed his teeth in two days and the bile from vomiting had given him a yellow tongue. He shuddered at how he could have let himself get so low. He did his best to look as tidy and 'himself' as he could despite his lack of apathy and the fact that he really didn't feel like himself anymore.

Benny felt paranoid as he walked down the street, he felt as if everybody was staring at him, like everybody knew of the secret he was concealing. It was ridiculous but he just couldn't shake it off. He kept his head to the ground and picked up the pace, not wanting to remain in the public eye for very long. Once he'd gotten to his church, he stood out front of the grand wooden doors. Being fall, the doors were closed which made Benny anxious not to go in, although he couldn't hear anything going on inside.

With a muster of courage he approached the doors and opened one just enough to slip through and gently shut the door without a sound. There were others in the hall, sitting and preying and lighting candles. He did his best to creep passed without disturbing them.

Benny greeted the woman who had just left the confession booth with a slight awkward nod before taking his seat.

"I confess to Almighty God and to you, Father that I have sinned. My last confession was quite some time ago, I apologise Father." Benny couldn't remember the last time he went to confession; he never found peace in it since his teenage years. He usually took up preying one-to-one with God but since he needed some physical advice he decided to return to confession.

"Speak my child, what sins are you guilty of committing?" The priest on the other side of the screen asked, righteously.

"I don't know where to begin, Father. Things at the moment are rather perplexing." Benny honestly didn't know how to phrase his problems. He knew it would be wrong to lie to his priest but had he told the truth he may have been laughed at or worse, shunned by the church.

"Begin at the beginning, naturally. Tell me everything that is making your heart heavy." Benny sighed apprehensively, spilling his life story seemed too embarrassing and a direct violation of the Catholic morals he grew up with. He'd been able to confidently talk to Chunk having been friends for a number of years, but something about talking to a priest was restrictive.

"It began about seven weeks ago, Father. At a party." Benny reminisced, his mind filled with inappropriate images which did not belong in the church.

"What happened at this party?" The priest could tell where things were going; he had many teenage girls come to confess about their sexual deviances at parties.

"I slept with a co-worker. It wasn't supposed to mean anything, just a drunken mistake." Benny could happily say before that night that he had no regrets, he always seized the day and lived happily - want free. Yet, he stupidly gave into temptation which angered him.

"Are you in love with this woman?" Benny scoffed, there was no 'woman' but he was content with the priest thinking there was. He assured himself that he definitely wasn't in love with Bull, despite apparently carrying his child; he wished to keep their relationship platonic.

"No. No." Benny said sternly.

"Whilst the church doesn't strictly forbid sex outside of marriage, things like this are common. God pardons your sin." Both Benny and the priest copied the holy trinity, "Is there anything more?" Oh how Benny wished there wasn't.

"Unfortunately. Father, as it turns out, she's pregnant… with my child. Rather an immaculate conception, she was thought to be infertile." Benny had thought all males were unable to conceive and his condition rather seemed like an immaculate conception.

"I see. Have you considered trying to make things work between the two of you? For the sake of the child?" The idea of being trapped in a loveless relationship with Bull hardly seemed fair for either of them. He knew that Bull had been seeing somebody, and to break them up seemed selfish.

"She's in love with somebody else. Besides, she's thinking about ending the pregnancy." Things became progressively real as Benny explained himself.

"Is this something you both want?" Hardly the answer Benny was expecting.

"Yes, it is. She's in love with somebody else and I'm too busy to commit to a relationship." Benny was a workaholic but his office was his domain, where he felt happiest. He loved his work and a child would only damage his reputation and resrupt his ability to work.

"God would want me to tell you to keep the child, that it would be special and loved. But as a priest, I can tell you that God would still love you no matter what you do." Never had Benny met such a liberal priest. Yet, this was New York, one of the most liberal cities in the world, where religion is reflexive and progressive - even conservative faiths such as Catholicism has adapted to be more appealing to all. "If I were to give you my honest advice, I would keep the child and if anything give it to a living home. All lives should have a chance of living."

That point hit Benny hard, he did honestly believe in a woman's choice to decide. But he also believed that the struggle for some to have children is real and for him to conceive by freak chance, 1 in 800 million seems unfair. His decision was shaken and his emotions tampered with. Whilst in his head he knew continuing this through would be a bad idea, small inclinations kept telling him otherwise. Coming to confession was a bad idea.

"Thank you Father for He is merciful."

"You're welcome, child. God has forgiven you of your sins. He trusts you will make the best decision." Whether God trusted him or whether he trusted himself were conflicting realities.

Benny left confession eager to visit his doctor. For him to make a concrete decision he needed all of the facts and all of the evidence, after all he wasn't one for regrets. He called his doctor back on his office phone to make a follow up appointment.

"Hello? Dr Huston speaking."

"Hi doc, it's me, Benny."

"Benjamin! How are you dear boy?" He wasn't expecting a reply so quickly which he took as a good sign.

"I've been better." Benny had been better, he currently has a huge and throbbing head ache from the level of intensity today brought, not only that but he was constantly nauseous.

"I'm sure you have." His doctor chuckled, "now, what is it you wanted to talk about?"

"Are you free? For that check up?" Benny had no idea what he was up for, what a checkup really meant. Sure enough, he was in for quite a surprise. The doctor had a free space this afternoon during his lunch hour in which he would conduct the check up, about 15 minutes from now. He was told specifically to drink as much water as he could and to eat something to get his blood sugar up.

So he stopped off at a local corner store to get a bottle of water and a chocolate bar. He ate uneasily, having learnt his lesson on eating too quickly last time he was hungry. He sat on a bench outside of the store which overlooked a patch of green, in that small space a father played football with his son.

"Is this Your way of telling me?" Benny spoke to God. The chances of seeing such a display in September was highly unlikely as it was only 10°c with a bitter wind. If there ever was a sign, it was this. Benny rolled his eyes, trying not to be swayed any further.

He got up and walked away, eating on his journey to the hospital. Upon reaching the hospital he noticed an influx in pregnant women. He entered the building and all around him in reception were pregnant women. Benny glared up at the ceiling, having had enough of God's messages already. Although, he did ask for help. Such coincidences were convenient and Benny was sceptical that they occurred by chance. "Come on." He whispered to himself.

Benny had to line up and wait to be checked in by the receptionist, "I'm sorry, there's a baby shower here at the hospital today. It's been hectic." Benny hadn't seen this kind face before; he was usually met by the old hag who grumpily barely even acknowledged the visitors.

The woman eyed him curiously; "No worries. I'm here to see Dr Huston, he told me to come to this wing." Benny could see why, this floor was obviously better equipped to suit 'his type' of check up.

"Ah, do you have an appointment?" She queried, looking at Dr Huston's appointment schedule.

"No. I'm here to visit him during his lunch break, seen him around?" Benny saw the young woman relax a little, it was obvious that she wasn't quite used to seeing lone males up on this floor.

"I'll call his phone for you." She did just that, the phone rang for a little and Benny tapped his fingers on the side impatiently, "Right, Dr, I have..." She stared up at Benny, prodding for a name. He mouthed 'Benny'.

"…Benny, here to see you." She 'uh hu'ed and 'okayed' before putting the phone down. "He's in room 46. Just down the hall." She pointed the directions.

"Thanks." Benny gave a polite smile and followed her instructions. Benny watched the door numbers as he maneuvered now the narrow hallway. Room 46 was the last at the very end, he figured as much. He knocked on the door lightly.

"It's open!" Dr Huston called. Benny took a deep breath and stretched out his fingers after having them go dumb with slight fear. "I'm glad you came by to quickly. Its important to have a full checkup just encase you decide otherwise."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Benny replied snidely.

"Yes, well. By the end, should you still feel confident about having the procedure, I will organise a date." Benny knew he had to walk into this with a clear and objective mind, as to not make the wrong decisions about getting rid of the child or letting his emotions get the better of him and wind up keeping the baby.

"Great."

"I would like to start off by explaining your situation further. I've been doing research the last two days and I've gotten in contact with a doctor in western China. He worked on a case not two years ago, a man in a rural village in a rural village in Quinghai. According to his account, the pregnancy and delivery were risk free and relatively the same as that of a woman." Benny almost laughed nothing about this seemed normal. Benny couldn't help but feel sceptical about the whole process, there would be no way such a biologically and nature defying state didn't come without its risks.

"Delivery?" Benny quizzed, surely such a surgical procedure was potentially dangerous seing as he didn't have a uterus, just neighbouring organs.

"The body goes through many changes, including the development of a faux cervix and vagina." Had Benny been drinking anything, such news would have been perfect material for a spittake. He was astounded, shocked, mortified and kind of amazed.

"Oh, right." The thought reversed many of his previous inklings.

"You're healthy, I don't foresee any complications. This brings me onto the physical exam." Dr Huston snapped on a pair of white rubber gloves and clapped his hands together. Benny took a loud exhale, preparing himself for the invasive tests. "I'd like to begin with weight, height and a few measurements." Benny rolled his eyes before jumping off of the bed. "Over here."

"Last time I weighed myself I was 142 pounds. That was 6 months ago." Dr Huston noted that figure down in a small table on a form attached to a clipboard.

"Well, as of today, you're 155 pounds and 10 ounces. By estimate an increase of about 12." Benny hadn't been so heavy since he was an awkward teenager, it irked him how over the course of the last two years he hadn't set foot into a gym and his diet was pretty crappy; coffee, pastries and pasta.

"My gym membership expired." He replied sarcastically.

"I can say that most of this added weight is because of the baby. It seems you could potentially fill out quite quickly." 'Great', Benny thought acrimoniously. "Now if you could turn around and stand up straight against this rule." The scales and ruler were the same contraption mindbogglingly. The doctor brought the cue to Benny's hair, pressing it flat. "5'5"." Benny used to be embarrassed about his height but he eventually grew up to believe that tall didn't equal intimidating - knowledge was far more threatening.

The doctor proceeded to take measurements of Benny's chest and stomach. His hands were cold which made Benny's nipples erect gracelessly.

"I'd like to take a blood test. It's a routine test for glucose levels, hemoglobin levels and to help identify any sort of infections or diseases." Dr Huston brought down a small container filled with vitals and a syringe. Luckily Benny wasn't afraid of needles because this one was particularly long and thick.

"Go ahead doc." Benny took off his shirt, wearing a vest top underneath. The doctor tightened a small piece of elastic around Benny's bicep and began to tap on the cook of his arm to raise a vein. A small blue straggly vein blossomed through his skin. The needle broke through the skin effortlessly and it made Benny wince. The vial on the end of the syringe filled with a sample of blood. The doctor took another sample just encase.

"I've already taken your blood pressure, so I guess all that's left is the ultrasound." And just like that he had heartburn again. This had to be his last favourite part the examination, the thing that would make the pregnancy just that bit more real, which might even be the icing on the cake. What is usually the happiest part of any woman's first appointment was ironically the part he was dreading.

"If you say so." Benny watched as the machine was wheeled over and the doctor turned it on. The machine buzzed unexpectedly which made him jump.

"Lie down and lift up your shirt." Dr Huston put some lubricant on Benny's stomach and unhinged the wand from the monitor. He didn't hesitate, immediately using the wand to spread the lubricant as the image on the screen began to focus. Benny turned his head completely in the opposite direction, not wanting to look, "you don't want to see?" From what the doctor could see, there possed no doubts, Benny was pregnant.

"No." Benny shook his head vigorously.

"Well, it looks healthy." The doctor took good note of the size and characteristics of the foetus, "let's listen to the heart beat." Dr Huston pressed the all important button and unmuted the ultrasound monitor. As clear as a summer's day and as loud as a bomb drop, the unmistakable sound of an energetic heart.

It was alarming, Benny grew profusely concerned by the speed at which the small organ thumped, "Is it supposed to be that fast?" Benny broke his vow of blissful ignorance as a pang of concern unknowingly struck.

"It's perfectly normal." Another good sign, Dr Huston was pleased with the development. It seemed too bad that not much more would amount from today's appointment. Benny became captivated by the image on the scene. If he wasn't looking as intently as he was he could have missed the peanut shaped spec in the middle of the screen, "look, I'm going to print you a copy. Take it back with you and really think about this decision, you should really enquire with the father." Benny knew he wasn't quite ready just yet, it was tough. He needed to know where he stood on the matter before consulting Bull. "I'll book you an appointment for two weeks today for your procedure. If I don't see you, I'll assume you've tried to give this a chance. Something tells me, that you might not need the appointment but I'll have everything arranged regardless." Two weeks hardly seemed long enough to make an important like decision such as this, but time was getting on.

Dr Huston wiped the lubricant off of Benny's stomach with a paper towel. Benny sat up and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, he had small tears forming that were burning his retinas. He redressed himself like nothing was wrong.

"How will I manage these two weeks? I can't take more time off of work, but this nausea is debilitating." Benny hadn't been to work in almost a week and he was scratching at the walls. It was about time to show his face back at the office before people either came to the conclusion that he wasn't returning or that c he was diagnosed with some kind of terminal disease.

"I see, well dry foods are good. Bland foods too. Things like crackers, bran biscuits, ginger and bread are good at easing sickness. You should eat in smaller amounts but as frequently as you can like a handful of dry breakfast cereal or a salad." It would be nice to sit down and have a nice meal after on-and-off puking, not that these suggestions were likely to completely eradicate the nausea or even the vomiting. Yet it might make going back into work more bearable.

"Thanks doc. I don't know what the outcome will be but I'm sure I'll make the best choice." Benny stared down at the image in his hand. Not only did he have a duty to himself, he also had a duty to this little thing growing inside of him. Doing the right thing before it was too late and 'it' became a he or she was a top priority.

"Take these," Dr Huston pulled put a guide book and some pamphlets, "they might come in handy." Benny accepted them and flicked through the pile briefly.

"Sure." Benny rolled the papers up and placed then in the inside pocket of his coat as he left the room. Upon shutting the door he paused, life had hit him hard, smack in the face. At times like this he would do what most adults did and drink himself numb. That wasn't an opinion at this moment in time.

Reality had hit him hard and he was entirely in the dark. Benny left the hospital feeling more confused than before he walked in, he hated the fact his heart was swaying and he no longer had a clear cut vision of giving up. One thing was for sure, it leered over his head, and he couldn't make this decision on his own. It would be selfish to exclude the second party. Although the very thought of telling Bull scared him, he had to. But first he needed the excellent advice from the only person he could trust, Chunk.

He called Chunk's cellphone and got through to him almost immediately.

"I was waiting for your call." Chunk admitted. He too had been rather anxious about the fact that Benny admitted he had tests arranged and was waiting for positive confirmation that nothing was wrong.

"Is that Benny?" Cable's voice shouted from the background.

"Hello Cable." It made Benny smile, his work kept him grounded and he missed everybody already.

"So, how's things?" Chunk took himself away from the group, Bull watched inquisitively as Chunk disappeared. It made him frustrated to be left out of the loop and he swore to make contact with Benny even if it meant visiting his apartment.

"Not good." Benny breathed out.

"Why? What's wrong?" Chunk began to become frantic and irrational thoughts plagued his mind the second Benny spoke. Something terrible must be wrong he thought something serious. Most people in the same situation come to the same drastic conclusion; cancer. Chunk was no different.

"Let's meet. It's not something I want to tell you over the phone." With prying ears at TAC, nothing was secret. That and he couldn't risk blurting out something so bold standing in the streets.

"I'll come to the cafe straight away." Chunk hung up the phone, making no excuse to leave he exited the building. His co-workers watched curiously and were sure to pester him later when he returned. Chunk walked as quickly as he could in his formal dress shoes as he possibly could, eager and worried beyond belief.

He has gotten to the cafe in less than five minutes, a personal best. Benny sat at their usual table with his head resting on folded arms. Chunk wasn't used to this sort of sight, he knew Benny as a proud always relatively cheery. This seemed completely out of character. Chunk took a seat, Benny didn't register that Chunk had even arrived until he coughed for attention.

"Benny, what couldn't you tell me over the phone? Is it about those tests?" Benny nervously twitched his leg under the table and rubbed his chin. He wanted to open his mouth and spill the beans as it were, but nothing he postulated in his mind made its way out of his mouth. He was used to writing winning arguments and final compelling statements but this was difficult.

"You know about me sleeping with Bull," he began, reaffirming the facts.

"Yeah." Chunk dragged out, not sure how the two instances would correlate just yet.

"Well it would seem," Benny was abruptly interrupted by Chunk's impatience.

"You've caught some kind of STI, haven't you? Please tell me you and Bull wore a condom." Chunk snapped. He wouldn't have thought Benny would be the type to drunkenly forget a condom. Embarrassingly Benny shook his head, had he remembered to wear a condom in the first place he might have avoided this whole mess.

"Well not exactly." Benny replied bashfully. Chunk disappointedly shook his head.

"I know we're best friends and all, but how could you be so stupid as to not use a condom? I get that you're Catholic and all but it's never wrong to have safe sex." Benny didn't need the lecture, even a really sarcastic one. The damage was already done.

"If I was really in my right mind, I wouldn't have done it in the first place. But that's not why I called you here." Feeling slightly attacked he moved on. Chunck sassily raised a brow and allowed Benny to carry on under much scrutiny. "Yes, me and Bull didn't use a condom. It was stupid, I get it. But now there's something more at stake." Benny thought the best way to put it, was with factual evidence like presenting a case in court. He pulled out example A and slapped it down onto the table.

Chunk glanced over at it, "what am I supposed to be looking at?" Chunk could tell the obvious, that it was an ultrasound of some sort.

"What do you think it is?" Benny pointed aggressively at the small squirt in the middle of the scan. Chunk looked harder but failed to come to the conclusion Benny was pushing for. Of course he couldn't possibly assume that Benny was pregnant because like most, he probably thought it was impossible. Benny scratched at his forehead with annoyance, "I'm pregnant Chunk." It came out slightly louder than anticipated but nobody noticed.

"What? And a medical professional told you this?" Chunk was cynical, he laughed in response.

"Yes. I've seen the rest results and he performed a scan. Trust me, it's real. I just don't know what to do about it." Chunk woke to the situation, he could tell from Benny's expression that he wasn't joking and that he was genuinely troubled and fearful.

"But how? Surely it should be impossible." Benny half smiled, lips crooked to the side. He had said exactly the same thing once he'd been informed by the doctor about his current condition.

"Statistically improbable but not impossible, apparently. I know how this sounds, I had my doubts too. I wish it was something else, at first even I asked if it was an STI." Benny scooped up the ultrasound picture and stared at it blankly. He couldn't understand how something so small could wreak so much havoc, playing with his mind and making him as sick as a pig.

"I take it Bull doesn't know." Benny's stunned silence said it all, "will you tell him?" Chunk rephrased.

"I was hoping it wouldn't come to that, I don't really intend to keep it...that is until I actually went to church and the appointment threw me further. I don't know where I stand anymore." Hence why he needed the impartial advice from Chunk.

"Listen, Benny, if you're already having doubts; you know where you stand." Benny was knocked for six. It wasn't the answer he was expecting but it made perfect sense. Walking in and making a rash decision and terminating the pregnancy would leave him with resonating regrets.

"Yeah, maybe." He still couldn't trust the state of his emotions at the moment but took Chunk's advice to heart, "I've got two weeks to decide anyway, but keeping the baby would disrupt work, it would consume so much of my time, let alone hiding from the public and Bull...don't get me started." Benny rampaged.

"I'm not going to tell you whether you should keep it or not, it's your life. Just don't be blinded by work, it's not the be-all and end-all." He'd let work consume him for a few decades now but he'd always been relatively happy. Perhaps that was a bad thing, work surely shouldn't be the only source of happiness, "I will say this though, Bull needs to know. Before it gets too late or he finds out for himself." Bull was smart but not that smart. Yet, Benny already knew he had to do the right thing.

"I'll be coming into work tomorrow; I can't sit at home anymore. The doctor gave me some advice on combating," Benny choked on the next few words, "morning sickness."

"I didn't want to say anything, but you've looked better. Anything to ease the edge, 'cause you can't starve yourself." He had been on a hunger strike for days, he wondered if morning sickness was supposed to be so severe and whether it was normal to have afternoon and night sickness. Chunk's concern was dually noted as slightly offensive but genuine.

"I'm glad you're here Chunk." Benny smiled for the first time in a long time, and it was one of carefree bliss.

"You know I'm here for you man, everybody needs that someone." Chunk had been struggling to find that special someone, he was gay which wasn't an issue here in New York, but he just hated dating. However, truthfully, he found this vulnerable side of Benny very strangely attractive.

"You better get back to work; spread the good vibes for me." Benny slid out of the booth and buttoned up his coat, the atmosphere outside had gotten progressively darker with a high prediction of rain.

"Get some rest tonight; it'll be work as usual tomorrow. You'll need twice as much energy to deal with Danny and Cable's prying." Chunk followed Benny out of the cafe and watched as the rain began to fall.

He and Benny waved each other goodbye and Benny turned in the opposite direction. Chunk watched as Benny began jogging to escape the rain, he chuckled slightly and waited for the younger man to disappear before making his own way.

Wairing for him back in his office was Bull, who sat leant against his desk, arms folded and unwelcoming. Chunk walked in, surprised by the reception. "Where'd you go?" Bull asked bluntly.

"I met Benny for lunch." Chunk hung his coat up and brushed away the beads of water that sat at the surface. He also picked out a fresh - dry - shirt.

"Without an umbrella?" Bull inquired doubtingly, "Is he okay? Do you know when he'll be back?"

"Have you called him lately? He needed a friend, and called me instead of you. What's going on between you two?" Chunk had already received the download from Benny, but two sides were better than one. Maybe he could then try and find a resolution.

"It's a long story, too long actually." Bull became slightly lost in thought.

"Yeah? Try me." Chunk got dressed in the background whilst the two spoke.

"I'm sure he's already told you that we slept together?" Chunk was startled, but not all too surprised. He didn't often miss anything.

"He might have mentioned it." Chunk replied nonchalantly.

"Of course he has. I drove him to you because I haven't been able to quite process what happened and why it happened." Chunk wondered why he'd become the office shrink, when Bull of all people had a doctorate in psychology.

"Maybe deep down you've always had feelings for Benny?" Chunk posited a wild guess.

"I'm probably displacing my feelings for my ex-wife, Benny's sister." Bull didn't know what it was that made him lustful that night. All he knew now was that this lust had died and it was destroying their friendship.

"Whatever is happening, you two need to have a long sit down and talk it out. He's just as stressed about this as you are, he thinks you hate him." Chunk made Bull feel incredibly guilty, he hadn't intentionally tried to make things complicated, he simply wished to distance himself from the issue - Benny, until he had come to grips with why, why he slept with his best friend.

"I don't know how to even approach the situation. It's not like I can run a simulation first, and I don't want our talk to have adverse effects."

"Nothing will get better by avoiding him. Take the chance; I'm sure you'll be surprised." Chunk was on a roll with dishing out quality information, if he somehow decided to change careers; he knew he'd have no trouble with opening his own counselling practice.

"You are absolutely right." Bull stood up proudly, knowing he'd made the right decision in coming to Chunk for some help.

"Good thing he's coming back tomorrow, hu?" He had successfully become the catalyst for some much needed change.

Meanwhile, Benny fought back his growing fatigue to head to the grocery store. He grabbed a shopping cart and began patrolling down the first isle. Nothing jumped out at him, he needed to restock the cupboards and fridge but whenever he thought of picking up something, it made his stomach churn unhappily.

Not wanting to get the booklet out from his coat pocket in public, he did a private search on Google for 'best foods to cure morning sickness'. He cringed as he clicked on mums websites, knowing he was actually one of them made him more nauseous than he already was. Lists of foods came up including things like: crackers, biscuits, green veg, peppermint, bananas, and lemons - he grimaced at the idea of eating a lemon. Other foods included ginger, dark chocolate and complex carbohydrates.

Benny walked round, placing some of the new foods into the cart, alongside his usual list. Although, when it came to buying fresh meat from the concessions stand, the smell of the raw beef made him gag. He walked straight in the other direction, he couldn't stomach standing long enough to be served, let alone bring the meat home and have his fridge smell the same. Instead he picked up some packaged chicken and sausages.

Benny arrived at the tills and glanced over his cart, wondering if he overshopped. He knew that most of what sat in the cart would go to waste but it was in his best interest to buy them anyway and try them open-mindedly, not that he could cook.

It was at times like these that Benny wished he had his own vehicle. He was too accustomed to taking a taxi everywhere but it was impractical, he needed his own mode of transport. Maybe something like a motorbike, he'd always wanted a motorbike. Ever since he was a young boy when he watched the bike shows every summer, he'd wanted something beastly and agile, maybe even joining a biking group and going on tour.

He shook his head as he hailed a taxi, both hands full of shopping bags. In his current condition and the unpredictability of the future made him regret getting his hopes up. Benny did know that in the event he chose to keep the baby, he'd need his own car. Once he'd arrived at the apartment, he grabbed his bags from the trunk and hoisted the bags up the front steps, he sighed as he dropped them to enter his pass code. He also made a mental note; he'd definitely need to find a new place.

As a single man's apartment, it had ample space and everything he could need. He had money to move should he wish to, but he'd lived in the same building for more than ten years. He didn't want to leave. He waited as the elevator took him up to his fith floor stop, and walked to his door; opening it with the key. He lugged his shopping through to the kitchen it made him pant a little as he was so exhausted. The first thing he would do is put the things away and make himself something light to eat.

Nothing seemed particularly appealing, if anything, starving seemed like the better option. Benny grabbed his pamphlets and scoured them from some inspiration. He shrugged many off as he read through them; the only thing that struck him was a recipe for peanut butter apple dip. He used to love them as a kid, it was a staple dessert.

The recipe called for Greek yoghurt, peanut butter and honey. It seemed simple enough, mixing the ingredients together in a small bowl. He chopped up some apples into neat slices and put them on a little plate. He carried the two over to the sofa. He hadn't eaten in a few days and was slightly apprehensive as he conservatively scooped up the mix with the apple. It tasted the same, exactly the same as he remembered. It was a sweet reminder of his youth, sitting with his sister and parents at the dining room table after supper.

He'd eaten the whole bowl and found himself digging for more, he was doing well for now. The small snack left him energised and partially full - having a slightly shrunken stomach. It was such a relief, to be able to eat again; he had high hopes for the other recipes in the book. Some seemed audacious or otherwise disgusting given his picky nature, but others he could see himself enjoying.

Ahead of time he made some lunch, a simple salad full of leafy greens and carrot. It looked so dry and tasteless even with croutons. He figured it would be the best, sick to the instructions. He'd never used his pasta grater before so it was quite a learning curve.

Whilst he wasn't able to escape the nausea, he hadn't been physically sick all day. It was a large victory which meant his stomach was able to digest something and take in some nutrients so he didn't look so pale when coming back into work. For dinner he cooked some chicken a made a Thai green curry with a ready made pour in. The cooling effect of the curry was sure to keep his stomach settled and satisfied until the morning.

Benny watched TV for the remainder of the night, he would become distracted and rest a hand over his stomach and realise shortly after and remove it. After the events of the day it was clear he couldn't remain impartial, even in a dreary state his mind was no longer in control. Benny eventually fell asleep on the sofa by ten; he had been too tired to keep himself awake or to migrate over to the bed. Luckily he set himself an alarm.

He woke up abruptly when his alarm rang; he had forgotten about falling asleep on the sofa but regretted it. He woke up stiff; he stretched out slowly and listened as his appendages clicked. He yawned and ruffed up his hair. Frankly he was quite glad to be going back to work, it would be a tricky day ahead but he looked forward to putting on a suit and showing his face.

Instead of his usual morning coffee he enjoyed some lemon water, with a lemon wedge in a diffuse water bottle. He was pulling out all of the stops today ensuring that nothing went wrong, that he didn't raise any unintended attention. He'd taken the advice in the booklet and had a few snack crackers before getting in the shower. Apparently having an empty stomach only made things worse - today he'd trial that theory.

He put on his suit and tie, gelled his hair and slipped on his shoes. Being well dressed brought with it an element of pleasure. He looked good and thus felt good. He packed his lunch in a small rucksack and picked up his briefcase before leaving his apartment.

"You're looking chipper today!" His neighborhood greeted, he too on his way to work.

"I feel chipper Lenny." That he did, with a spring in his step he pressed the button on the lift.

"Great Benjie, I haven't seen you on my way to work in a while. You been alright?" Oh how Benny wished he'd simply come down with the flu and been bed ridden for a few days, but fate was twisted.

"Just needed a break, you know how things get." Lenny looked at him with empathy.

"Hell, we've all been there." The small talk was over when the two went their separate ways; Benny hopped into a taxi and rode it to work. His usual driver was also surprised to see him, he didn't really realise before how popular he was. It was a great way to start his day.

Paying his driver and exciting the cab, he waved goodbye. Standing at the front steps to the TAC building made his stomach flutter, was he actually nervous or extremely happy? He fixed his suit the best he could and took a deep breath as he walked through the doors. The security staff all welcomed him back and gave him the rundown of what he'd missed as he passed through the scanner. Getting into the elevator felt right, almost like he'd never been away.

The elevator stopped before his floor and who should stroll in? Bull.

"We had an early morning meeting this morning." Bull coughed, not really sure how to approach the elephant in the room.

"I had no idea. Sorry." Benny frowned, slightly confused.

"It doesn't matter." The two avoided eye contact like the plague, "so you're better now I take it?" Bull was honestly happier than he could express.

"Oh, yeah. Not completely out of the woods but I'm fine." The nagging voice in the back of his head annoyingly reminded him that telling Bull about the baby was a priority and that lying to him was a bad idea.

"Good to hear, for the most part. Did you get yourself checked out?" He'd been desperate to find out what Chunk and Benny had been getting up to and why Chunk came back to work yesterday slightly flabbergasted.

"As a matter of fact I did, it was just some routine tests. Nothing to report back yet." Benny's lies just seemed to flow so effortlessly. He was in actuality, digging himself a bigger hole. One he'd eventually have to dig himself out of.

"That's great news. Can't be too careful these days, sometimes a simple cough can turn out to be cancer." The conversation had turned unexpectedly dark and thus the elevator fell silent. It was awkward and they both knew it. "So this meeting..." Bull broke through just before the elevator doors opened and their closest co-workers jumped onto Benny.

"It's been so long!" Cable gave Benny a tight hug.

"It's not even been a week." Benny scoffed, "I didn't know I'd be missed like this." Of course he did, his co-worker were like eager baby chicks and him the mother duck. He hadn't expected anything less.

"We were all worried about you." Marissa's beautiful smile beamed, although too reserved to go in for a hug, gave Benny a sympathetic stroke on the arm which was enough for him. He'd noticed that Bull hadn't stayed for the reunion, so did everybody else for that matter, "just pay no attention." Marissa whispered. Benny nodded his head as he watched Bull walking towards his office.

"So what'd I miss?"

"Absolutely nothing, trust me. This week has been pretty boring." Cable relayed. Benny was surprised that TAC had been quiet while he was away; their business was usually booming, even if it was small cases, "Bull didn't take on any cases while you were away. It's a shame really; we had this one case about a DJ player and copyright. It would have been totally awesome."

"Is that right? He's totally capable of conducting mock trials." Benny replied, completely confused.

"I know right? He's just not been interested in work." Cable watched Benny's reactions suspiciously, wondering if there was something more going on that she didn't know about.

"I guess it's his choice." Benny shrugged off the overt weirdness of the situation, he'd never be able to understand Bull and his intentions, he hadn't been able to so far and he was sure Bull would gee just as secretive until he died.

From up behind him came a cheerful voice, "I didn't think you'd make it." Chunk smiled gladly.

"I'm feeling better than I have done in days." Cryptic but the both of them understood why.

"The stuff the doctor gave you working?" He asked when the two were alone, "I phoned my mum and she gave me some recipes, if you want then." Chunk had been worried about Benny not eating and took it upon himself to ask an expert, somebody who had gone through the process three times.

"I can't say I'm nausea free, but I've had no heartburn and I'm not about to vomit, so yeah. I'd say they're working." He'd been thankful that he was able to break the cycle, he had heard that women suffered from morning sickness but he had no clue that it was more like; morning, day and night sickness.

"That's a start." The two walked and talked, Benny threw himself onto Chunk's sofa and settled in, "have you thought about it more?"

"Since yesterday? No. I haven't." He didn't want to think about it anymore than he had to. It was almost like he was still in denial, that he would never think of it again and the problem would disappear because it never really existed; just his brain playing tricks on him.

"I thought I should tell you that I had a rather interesting conversation with our boss yesterday, about your situation." Benny, given his hot headed nature, blurted out:

"You didn't tell him did you?"

"Oh god of course not. Who do you take me for?" Chunk shot back, "if you let me continue?"

"Sorry..." Benny laboured apologetically.

"Like I said, Bull and I had a conversation about the affair. He told me that he's been waiting to talk to you about it but doesn't know how. So maybe you should make the first move?" Benny rolled his eyes, sure he was unable to approach the situation, but he had expected Bull to mention it before now. After all he was the one who anticipated their kiss and he was the one who drunkenly started fooling around, and then said never to mention it.

"He's been avoiding me for weeks, why now?" Chunk raised his shoulders; their conversation had only been brief.

"Who knows? Which is why you should talk to him? Maybe tell him about your growing problem?" Chunk mentioned, sarcastically. Benny rubbed his eyebrow as he thought.

"I don't even want to tell him. To be honest Chunk, I don't even want to speak to him. Nothing is the same anymore." Benny could tell that he and Bull were drifting apart, despite Bull's subtle efforts. Neither of them seemed all to interested in maintaining their friendship. He didn't therefore; want a baby to draw them together under false ideology of happiness.

"You have to. You know why? Because you're going to have it, I can see it now." Benny rolled his eyes, Chunk seemed surer of his future than himself.

"I've still got two weeks to decide." He protested.

"By my count, 13 days." Chunk called back cleverly.

"You've made your point." 13 days to go. 13 days to make a life changing decision, before he could answer the question placed in front of him and give his verdict; he needed the input of the opposition. It was going to be easier said than done.

"Good. Now, if you don't mind; I've got work to do." Benny felt slightly light headed as he stood up, he too probably had work to do. Walking into his office he would expect to see a pile of paperwork waiting for him.

"You both have." Came a voice from the doorway, "we've got a case." Bull gathered his employees like a cattle farmer and his cows. Chunk and Benny followed Bull out to the TAC system area where Marrisa already had details projected into the monitors.

As such everybody went to work, Marrisa began to search her database for a mirror jury and Benny used the data Marrisa had collected in order to begin writing a winning argument. It felt peculiar to be back, almost like he had never left. He sat as his desk, pen to paper and thought hard. Starting off with just short and disjointed ideas, he developed them into a script.

That's when he began to feel nauseous; he had remembered to bring a packet of crackers. Eating slowly, he continued to work, it was a wasted effort. Having lost all concentration, working was futile, especially since cramps followed the surging sickness. Luckily at the store yesterday he picked up some Tylenol, upon advice from his doctor. Apparently cramping would become a common day-to-day infliction. He thought to himself; 'why am I even putting myself through this?', and shook his head angrily.

"You alright? I brought you a sandwich." Cable came in holding a baloney sandwich, like she did sometimes. If only now was a better time, and maybe her efforts would be far better appreciated.

"I'm fine." He lied.

"Sure seems like it. If you're still ill maybe you shouldn't have come in today?" Despite how lousy he actually felt, he was certain that the pregnancy wasn't going to get in the way of him living his life.

"I've got it under control." His words made little impact on Cable's worrisome expression.

"Did you go to the doctor like Chunk said?" He knew Chunk wouldn't be able to keep that a secret; the people he worked with were like vultures, peckingChunk alive for information no doubt. He did know that Chunk was reliable and trustworthy of keeping his biggest secret.

"I did, and everything is fine." Cable wasn't buying Benny's routine, but gave him the benefit of the doubt, knowing that Benny probably wouldn't lie. Knowing full well that she could do a quick search and find anything she wanted, lying would be dangerous.

"Mnn, Benjamin Colón, don't be a hero. Just go home." Benny rolled his eyes. If he was going to survive two weeks in this state he had to hide it better. Cable left his office leaving the sandwich in its place, it smelt enticing but he knew that he'd regret eating something so fatty. Instead he stared at it imagining eating the sandwich, which had to be enough for now.

A knock on the door snapped him out of his daze, "Not hungry?"

"Starving actually." Benny hadn't even acknowledged the second person in the room, "Chunk...there used to be a time when a baloney sandwich could cure anything." He said, reminiscing.

"Didn't you bring any lunch?" Time had flown by and Benny had been put off eating, the crackers were dry and barely scratched the surface of his hunger.

"Of course, I just don't think I could stomach it." He felt pretty pitiful.

"You know, the sooner you tell Bull, the sooner you'll feel better."

"How'd you work that one out?" Benny replied cynically.

"It's common sense really; I bet half of your nausea is caused by the anxiety coming from telling Bull." Benny rolled his eyes.

"Maybe it's because of the child growing in me?" He answered back, albeit a little louder than he should have. "I don't want tell him." He exhaled heavily, "the way I see it, Its going to go in either of two ways; he'll want me to keep it but I don't want to, or I'll want to keep it and Bull won't want it."

"Or it would turn out the way you want it to, where you both agree to keep the baby." Chunk didn't have a single doubt in his mind; Benny would definitely keep the baby, regardless of his current insecurities.

"Would he? After last time, I don't think he wants children." Unknowingly, Benny had opened a can of worms, brining back some awfully sad memories.

"Last time?" Chunk enquired curiously.

"He and my sister lost a baby, I'm pretty sure it's why they got a divorce." It was a long time ago but Benny knew that something so devastating had long lasting impacts on people, "which is why his reaction is so unpredictable."

"Surely, telling him as soon as you can would be a good thing. It gives the two of you time to work things out, at least then, with a solid answer, you'll be able to stop yourself from becoming attached." Benny hated that Chunk made sense, if only he could bring himself to take anything said on board.

"Damn it Chunk. It's not that simple." Benny frustratedly threw his head onto his desk, too exhausted and in pain to truly become aggravated.

"Of course, I know that. I just need to keep you on the right path." Chunk watched Benny with sympathy pains of his own, "let's go and walk this off." Chunk pulled Benny out of his chair and helped him stretch upright. Benny couldn't help but rub his stomach, trying to sooth the pain.

"I don't know how women do this Chunk." Benny whimpered.

"This, my friend, is nothing." Chunk laughed, "It'll only get worse."

"You're not very uplifting." The pain relief and the walking seemed to take the edge off of the cramps. He knew that if he couldn't even withstand the pain of a few first trimester cramps, he sure wasn't going to handle the aches and pains later on, including the end game – labour.

"Something tells me I don't need to be all that convincing." A fortune teller he was not, but he knew based on the type of person Benny was; good, kind and a good Catholic. He also knew that Benny was lonely and needed some companionship, which is probably why he stupidly slept with Bull in the first place.

"I wouldn't be so sure." Benny argued back.

"Whatever you say." He smirked joyfully.

"Wipe that smile off of your face, I'm fine now." Benny released his dependence and stood up for himself, taking a deep breath and cranking his neck slightly.

"Make sure you eat somethin'." Chunk added before he slipped out of the room. Benny threw Cable's baloney sandwich into his desk-side bin, the smell was still overpowering and acted as a sour reminder of what was out of reach. He pulled out his own lunch that he'd prepared; nothing but green leafy vegetables and grilled chicken. It paled in comparison to his usual lunch; a doughnut and a meatball sub from the vendor outfront of the building.

He ate rather cautiously in small bites as to not give his stomach a hard time. The lemon water was rather soothing and admittedly the food was better than he had anticipated, finally, he was on the diet he promised himself three years ago as a new year's resolution. Had he been too stubborn to visit the doctor he would be in much worse condition, for that he was thankful.

After eating he felt sluggish and tired. It was too bad that he was called a meeting; otherwise he'd be taking a nap at his desk right about now. Instead he sat at the table listening to Marrisa talk about the appointed mirror jury.

"So we have a 94% match of our mirror jury, what's important is that we've selected the right jurers with the key characteristics we're looking for; people who are outgoing, risk takers but are also very respectful of the harsh reality that accidents do happen." Marrisa continued as she browsed through the group selection, one by one. Fearing she was losing Benny she halted, "are you alright?"

"Just go on." Bull eyed Benny briefly before letting him sleep. He'd been ill and everybody understood that Benny wasn't 100% yet.

Benny had woken up by the end of the meeting, startled when Chunk shook him gently, "Benny you need to wake up." Chunk repeated for the third time. Benny mumbled and glared around the room, widely confused.

"Where...?" He stuttered before realising, "the meeting? I slept through it, didn't I?" He sighed angrily.

"We just let you sleep. Bull figured you needed it." He didn't understand why Bull had been so nice all of a sudden, it was an important meeting no doubt, one that he probably had to pay attention to.

"What did Marrisa say?" The last thing he remembered was Marrisa's voice; she was probably slightly offended by him falling asleep mid sentence.

"We just talked about the mirror jury, how closely they matched and what not. We've got 48 hours to come up with the opening statement. Seeing as tomorrow we're going to see our clients at their air field." The whole group has been invited to take a free skydiving course as payment for the TAC service.

"I've never been skydiving before, this should be fun!" Cable stretched out and smiled enthusiastically.

"Wait what? Skydiving?" Benny was not only afraid of heights but also pregnant now, which meant that there was no chance of him stepping foot into a plane. Let alone jumping from one with a parachute.

"You don't have to go up if you're too much of a chicken!" Cable clucked and squarked, making chicken wings with her arms. Benny shook his head and rolled his eyes, not everybody was as ambitious or carefree as Cable.

"Look nobody has to jump if they don't want to." Chunk cleared the air.

"Either way, I guess I've got some more work to do." Benny embarrassingly stood up from his chair, eyeing his reflection in the monitor screen, half expecting Cable to have drawn him a fake moustache or a goatee, "We're leaving first thing in the morning?"

"Yeah, first thing."

"Perfect." Benny had already written more than half of a compelling case to perform on his behalf, based on the character profiles he was given. Although he wondered whether the meeting would be imperative to his process.

The two went their separate ways trying finish their work, so that nothing followed them home. So by the time it was good to clock out and go home, people left relatively stress free. It was seven and everybody had packed up and switched off, collectively the team took the elevator down to reception do sign out. That is, most left the elevator. Bull held Benny back by the arm, "we need to talk." Bull spoke as he pressed the button to go back up.

"What about? The case?" Benny asked innocently, avoiding the issue at hand.

"About our case." Bull spoke nonchalantly, although he was actually pretty anxious, which was totally out of character.

"I didn't realise we had a case." Benny made all attempts to avoid eye contact, knowing that Bull was staring down at him.

"We need to talk about our little escapade, I'm sure you knew that." Bull unlocked his office door and turned on the light. The office was ireily quiet after hours which was widely concerning and made their situation all that bit more awkward. Bull pulled out a bottle of scotch and two glasses; he poured a generous amount into each, figuring he needed the confidence boost. "Here."

"No thanks." Benny slid the glass back towards Bull.

"You could use a drink; this might be a long conversation." Bull took a large swig of his drink and topped it up.

"I'm not drinking, I can't at the moment." Things fell silent and Benny began to nervously twitch under the table. Bull had read Benny's unconscious behaviour and spoke up.

"I know I said that we shouldn't talk about it, but its due time we had this talk." Bull straightened himself out and shifted his glasses; the alcohol wasn't really having much of an effect as the butterflies in his stomach were driving him insane. "Obviously not talking about it has impacted our work lives."

"You could say that."

"I'm sorry that I've left it so long, but I just want you to know that it was a mistake." Benny couldn't agree more, it was a ginormous mistake. It was just a shame that the night hadn't ended as a mistake, rather than manifesting into something neither of them wanted.

"I totally agree." The look of relief was overtly apparent in Bull's face.

"So, do you think we can put this behind us?" Benny scratched his forehead anxiously, "we can, can't we?" Bull asked again, this time slightly stern.

"It might not be that simple..." Benny took a deep breath, if there was going to be a perfect time to spill the beans, it was now. He just wished he wasn't so anxious and fearful.

"By that, you mean?" Bull's mind rushed to an ungoverned conclusion, 'was Benny in love with him?' his palms began to sweat and his throat ran dry. Whatever Benny had to tell him, he wasn't prepared to hear it.

"That night didn't end there," Bull looked confused, "what I'm trying to say," words failed him and his nerves tripped over his tongue, "something has come up, that we need to take responsibility for." Chunk's voice plagued his mind, screaming at him to tell the truth, to spit it out and be brave.

"Responsibility?" Had this been a normal altercation with a woman he would have come to the conclusion on his own. The process was painstakingly long, and Benny free slightly frustrated. He wondered whether he would come out like had done to Chunk, abruptly show Bull the scan and hope for the best?

"Unfortunately that night had an unexpected consequence and we need to make an important decision." Still speaking in riddles, dodging the part where he actually needed to tell Bull that he was pregnant. He couldn't picture himself saying such words, it made him cringe just thinking about it.

"Benny, what aren't you telling me?"

A sharp inhale, eyes closed, "I'm pregnant."

"And a doctor told you this?" Bull glared skeptically.

"Yes! Why do people keep asking me that?" Benny rolled his eyes and dug into his pocket, he pulled put his wallet and along with it the synogram picture.

"Who did you tell? Chunk?" Benny paused, realising what he had just said and how stupid he must have been to say it.

"Well...that's not important right now. This is!" Benny handed Bull over the picture that was starting to wrinkle at the edges. Benny felt sentimental handing over the image; he hadn't noticed how often he'd looked at it until it wasn't in his possession anymore.

"How long have you known?" Bull stared in-depth at the image; it brought back a flood of unwanted memories that had him partially choked up. He knew somewhere he still had the synogram from his and Izzy's first appointment, despite the turmoil and things ending badly, it felt shameful to throw it away.

"Since yesterday, I know I should have told you before Chunk. I just needed some advice and I was too scared to talk to you." Benny was scared even now, he wasn't sure whether it was the exhaustion, the nerves or his 'hormones' - like women seemed to complain about- but he felt teary and emotional.

"Afraid? Why would you be afraid to talk to me?" Bull hadn't realised just how far the two had drifted apart, it saddened him.

"After your ordeal with my sister, I didn't want to tell you until I'd figured out what to do." Bull sullenly acknowledged Benny's concerns with a slow head nod.

"You have the option?" He asked delicately.

"I do. I just don't have an answer yet." He wondered if he'd ever have an answer to that question, it had only been two days but already he wad under tremendous amounts of stress that was giving him a headache.

"What do you want to do?" Bull was still seemingly in shock, deeper processing hadn't occurred yet, how did he feel? He had no idea. Part of him wanted to close his eyes and wish himself away and the other half wanted to be there to support his best friend.

"Chunk gave me some good advice. He told me that I would regret getting rid of the baby if I have doubts. In other words, my doubts are my unconscious' way of telling me that I want to keep it. Yet in my head, I know it's not such a good idea." He had his career to think about, he would have to change his entire single-guy loner lifestyle that he loved. He'd have to buy a new apartment, a car - his whole life would change.

"You want me to be your ego, and tell you what the reality of the situation is?"

"I need to know if you want to do this with me - not that I can't do it myself, or shall I terminate the pregnancy and we go back to our normal lives?" Was there a returning back to normal? His and Bull's friendship was already in ruines and undoubtedly he would have regrets for giving up the child.

"As normal as normal can be." Bull pulled Benny in for a rather close and tight hug. Benny seized up, not used to the contact.

"Even though we're not together? You'd still want us to have a baby?" Benny wasn't in love with Bull, that much he was certain, but in the event that he should decide to keep the baby, he was adamant that it would need two loving patents.

"Well, If you wanted to keep it, who am I to argue?" That wasn't exactly the answer Benny was hoping to hear but it was a positive response nonetheless. At least he knew Bull would do right by him and be by his side, "Do I have to decide now?"

"I've booked the termination procedure for 13 days from now. I can either cancel it or turn up on the day and have the procedure." After a long and awkward hug, Bull pulled away but left both hands on Benny's shoulders. The whole idea of a termination already didn't resonate with him well.

"Right; so I've got 13 days to give you an answer?"

"Yes." More importantly, he had 13 days to decide.

"As it stands, today, I can honestly say that having a baby isn't something I expected to accomplish in my lifetime." He'd gotten his hopes up before; after they were torn from existence he'd lost faith in trying to start a family again. The possibility of reversing the clocks with Benny rather than his sister was slightly unnerving.

"And you think I did?"

"No, you told me when I first met you that you didn't want children. I remember that much clearly; but you also didn't want to become a lawyer back then either." Bull remembered a plucky Benny; long hair, dainty moustache and flared jeans. He hadn't made up his mind about life yet but Bull had major influence in pushing him towards law enforcement.

"People change Bull." Some changing daily - yet reflecting back on his life, this wouldn't be the first major decision he'd had to make suddenly. Deciding to go into law rather than business with his sister was his most recent challenge, but having a baby topped all experiences.

"Clearly." Bull smiled, "Although having children wasn't in my master plan, it doesn't mean that I don't want them. If you want this baby, so do I." Bull hesitantly drifted a hand towards Benny's stomach; he stopped before he made physical contact knowing it wouldn't be appreciated. He did notice the slight bulge that widened Benny's waistband but looking at it, it didn't even register in his mind that there was something living and growing.

"I'm glad you see it that way." He was desperately trying not to be swayed but the promise of support and companionship made the idea of having the baby a little more bearable. He couldn't understand why he believed at all, that he could be impartial in any way.

"Can I see it again?" Bull asked shyly.

"Sure." Benny handed Bull the picture once more.

"I remember your sister's first scan. She was excited… we both were." He stroked the small shape, it didn't look like much. It had no features or discernable body parts. It was too small to really tell what it was. Even still, it filled him with wonderment anadmiration.

"You two came straight away, to tell me the good news."

"She didn't want to tell anybody until the first trimester was over, apparently it was unlucky. I persuaded her otherwise." Bull admitted regretfully.

"You can't blame yourself. The miscarriage was the result of a cyst."

"I know that. I was disappointed in myself for not being so supportive. It was a difficult time and I wasn't there for Izzy." Benny was surprised at how open Bull was being, he'd never told anybody about the stress of the miscarriage - which inevitably led to the divorce.

"You didn't know how to be, that's okay. It's not easy to comfort somebody when you're also hurting." Benny was also terrible at consoling people; at this very moment he was uncomfortable and unsure about how to make Bull feel better.

"I don't think I could go through that a second time." Bull's words caught Benny off of guard, whilst he was considering termination; the thought of a miscarriage stirred his unregulated hormones.

"You're right. This is largely unprecedented, who knows what could happen." That dooming threat hung over his head. The only recent case occurred in rural China, there was little or no research and evidence to explain what's going to happen and about any complications.

"I'd say this is nothing short of a miracle. At the end of the day, it's your choice what happens next, but no matter what, I will be there for you. I'm a better person now; more adapt."

"Let's hope it never comes to that." Benny joked, mocking Bull's outwardly cold personality.

The conversation ended there with both of them making their way back through the building. Luckily they had left when they did as the night guards were doing a final sweep of the building before they locked up. Bull hailed Benny a taxi whilst getting out his own car keys. The taxi arrived promptly but Benny stopped before he could open the car door; "You can't treat me any differently, nobody can know."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Bull would try but ultimately he was incredibly bad at keeping secrets. He knew it would be hard to control himself, to act as if nothing was different, but he would try. The up most important thing, would to relax the atmosphere within the office, now that he and Benny had resolved their issues.

"Thanks Bull." Benny replied before climbing inside the taxi. Bull closed Benny's door like the gentleman he was and waved goodbye as Benny drove away.