Touch Starvation

Touch Starvation: Lack of tactile stimulation. Humans need touch to survive. It's a primal necessity, like food or water.

SPOILERS: Takes place around Chp 55 of the manga. Contains spoilers for the later chapters of the manga.

Summary: As Humans, we need touch to survive. And Miharu is no exception. - A one-shot focusing on Yukimi and Miharu's (platonic) relationship during the latter part of the Manga. MANGA SPOILERS. Takes place around Chp. 55.

A/N: This is a one-shot, focus on Yukimi and Miharu. Not a romantic pairing- Paternal Yukimi relationship.

People need touch to survive. Not everyone seems to realize that. We walk the streets, purposefully avoiding all contact with others, going out of our way to escape connection with people.

And yet, we're starving.

Miharu was one who needed touch more than he let on. He felt that every one was afraid to touch him, to even be near him. Tobari Sensei approached him as though Miharu was a wild animal, something he should be wary of, as to not frighten it. On the other hand, he probably thought Miharu would break if he held him.

Raimei's once enthusiastic hugs had slowed to a stop. She became more aware of him as a person, as someone who could be repulsed by her. She began to keep her distance. Kouichi was always distant, but during the past few weeks, he only grew more aloof. His unreadable eyes only watched Miharu, saying nothing.

But Yukimi seemed to just know what Miharu needed. Or maybe, it was really just that Yukimi needed the contact of another human being. Maybe he was searching for it too, not just giving it away. But Miharu treasured the feeling of Yukimi's hand on his hair and when he pulled him to his side in a protective hug. Miharu always sat close to Yukimi, letting their knees touch or shoulders brush one another's. And Yukimi never moved away. In conversations with other people, Yukimi's hand would wind up on Miharu's head or resting on his shoulder. Just sitting there for a bit before retreating to some other location. Miharu liked it. Yukimi's hand was warm and it felt nice to have human contact with someone else. It made him feel less alone.

But everyone else just stayed away, avoiding his hands. There was a slight fear in the air. Miharu felt it.

After all that had happened... After the Shinrabansho had been used, and all the secrets that had come to light; Kouichi and Shijima's true forms revealed, the conflict in the Fuuma and Kairoushu... There had been a tension in the air around everyone, like no one knew who to trust anymore. Yet, something was missing, some reason for the conflicts.

Ever since then, the ache in his chest was growing larger and made it hard to breathe. He could occasionally feel the memory of someone's hand brushing against his skin, but he couldn't put a face to it. He had lost someone close. Someone who would hold him, touch him, be near him... someone...

Miharu lay awake in his room, staring at the ceiling. He stretched out his hand, watching the shadow on the floor grow. After a moment, he let his hand drop back to his stomach, clutching at his chest. The shirt fabric balled up beneath his fist. His heart ached.

...

School passed by in a hazy blur of people's faces and voices and laughs. Miharu just stared out the window.

Kouichi joined him at lunch, sitting across the lunch table with a tray of cafeteria food, "Hey Miharu. How are you doing?" Miharu picked at the orange slices on his tray. He didn't speak.

Suddenly Kouichi's hand was pressed against Miharu's forehead, "You don't really have a fever. Have you been getting enough sleep? You should eat to stay healthy."

Miharu glanced up at his classmate, unsure of how he felt towards Kouichi now. "I'm fine," he finally mumbled.

Kouichi frowned but didn't press the matter. Instead he politely kept up a one-sided conversation until the bell rang.

...

"Miharu!" Raimei yelled, running up behind him. She went to throw her arms around him, but remembered all the times he'd pushed her off. So she just fell in step beside him. "How was your day? Sorry I missed lunch. I was helping Tobari-Sensei most of the day. He's really worried about you."

"Okay," Miharu said.

Kouichi shrugged off Raimei's worried glance, "He just needs some space," he whispered to her. Miharu heard him anyway.

"I have to go by the store," Miharu said, starting to walk the other direction.

Raimei caught his backpack strap, "I'll come with you."

"I want to be alone," he said. She let go and watched him walk away.

...

Miharu was wandering the street when his phone buzzed. It was probably Raimei or Kouichi, texting him worries and concerns. He ignored it and continued his listless window shopping. For some reason, walking the streets was better than being at home. The bustling crowd was actually comforting for once.

His phone buzzed again, but this time kept buzzing repeatedly, signaling a phone call. Miharu pulled it from his pocket.

It was Yukimi.

He answered it.

"Hey brat," Yukimi said, "Are you busy?"

"No."

"Good, I need your help. You up for some work? I'll buy dinner."

"Sure," Miharu said.

He could feel Yukimi smile over the phone, "Sweet. I'm already out, where are you? I'll pick you up."

Miharu told Yukimi his location and waited on a bench outside a bookstore.

...

Yukimi drove by and Miharu got in the familiar green car. "How've you been?" he asked.

"Okay," Miharu replied.

"So, it's been horrible?" he laughed lightly, used to the boy's short replies.

"Eh."

He stopped the car at a red light, and Yukimi reached his hand over to tussle Miharu's hair gently, "Sorry life sucks."

"Will it get better?"

"Nah," he sighed, "You think my life's any better? But we just gotta keep on keeping on."

Miharu looked over, taking in the sight of the worn out Shinobi. Yukimi's eyes were drooped and the dark bags under his blue eyes looked like a natural shadow. His right arm was bandaged above where the elbow would be.

"Does it still hurt?" Miharu questioned.

"Nah," Yukimi kept his gaze on the road, "Don't really feel it much anymore. Don't really know if that's good or bad." he grinned.

Miharu didn't smile.

...

They arrived shortly at a small family-run bakery. Miharu grabbed the camera bag and followed Yukimi into the shop. Yukimi politely made conversation with the owners while Miharu looked around, leaning against the glass counter of pastries.

"We have a selection here, please try it," the man said happily. Yukimi shook his hand and waved Miharu over. The boy obeyed and took out the expensive camera.

Yukimi stood behind Miharu, guiding his hand and softly giving advice for how to adjust to the lighting and keep focus. The Bakery was quiet besides the sounds of the shutter clicking and the crackling of paper bags behind the counter. The bell on the door chimed as a customer walked in. Miharu stayed focused on the apple pastry before him.

When they were done, Yukimi thanked the owners and they handed Miharu a small box of fresh pastry. Yukimi put his arm around the boy, smiling and congratulating his good work, "You're really a big help, ya know? Thanks a bunch."

Miharu smiled slightly, closing his eyes momentarily as he leaned into Yukimi's chest.

They were walking to the car when Yukimi's phone rang. He answered, leaning his back on the car as he talked. "Kazuho! Yeah I'm fine... With Miharu... Mm hmm..."

Miharu let out a sigh and mimicked the man's pose, lightly pressing his shoulder to Yukimi's side. Yukimi smiled at his sister's words, reciprocating the light pressure Miharu was exerting.

Again Miharu closed his eyes, letting the vibrations of Yukimi's voice run through him. The man laughed and it sent a thundering echo through Miharu's thin frame. A part of him felt alive, like he was being recharged by the contact. He could almost fall asleep right there...

"Ready to go?"

Miharu opened his eyes and blinked against the light of the setting sun. The concrete was bathed in a pinkish-orange, reflecting off the street sign to their left. He glanced up at the blue eyes watching him. Yukimi's hand was resting on his head, "Yeah."

"Okonomiyakii or Ramen?"

"Ramen," Miharu replied, climbing into the car.

...

At the apartment, Miharu bee-lined for the couch while Yukimi set down his stuff and turned on the TV. He brought the box of pastries over and settled down on the couch next to Miharu.

"Here," he held out the open box of assorted danishes and tea cakes.

Miharu took a strawberry filled danish and sunk back into the couch cushion.

"Your grandma know where you are?" Yukimi asked.

"Mhm."

"You staying the night here?"

"Yes."

"'Kay."

Yukimi yawned, staring tiredly at the TV.

Miharu watched the characters on the show with little interest. He rested his head on Yukimi's shoulder. The regular ache in his chest subdued, he felt more relaxed, more at peace. Somehow that empty hole in his heart felt less empty.

"Thanks for spending time with me," Yukimi mumbled.

"Mhm," Miharu said, closing his eyes.

The TV droned on, coating the room in blue-tinted shadows. And the two fell asleep like that, arms touching and head's bumped together in a comforting way.

A/N: I feel like I didn't quite convey the feeling I wanted to. My main point is that I am very fond of the way Miharu and Yukimi's relationship is portrayed in the last half of the manga. Once Yoite is gone, around Chp 52, Yukimi and Miharu spend a lot of time together and have a very unique bond. It's emotional AND physical. They live off each other, in a way. I love it.

Again, this is in no way a sexual or romantic thing. It's a platonic love and affection. Like a father and son.