AN: So, for anyone that has read Life With You, this Kakasaku story will be decidedly more lighthearted and (hopefully) on the humorous side. Thinking this will be between seven to nine chapters, but that's just a rough estimate. Not planning on anything graphic, and after this first chapter there will mostly be innuendo. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Please review and let me know what you think. I do not own the characters. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

A Vow

Get a hold of yourself! You're an adult with needs, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, she argued sternly with herself.

Considering that she had been internally lecturing herself while seemingly staring intently at a single store display, Sakura figured that she should move soon. No need to make her uneasiness noticeable—possibly more noticeable, at this point. Just what had she been pretending to be entranced by for the past twenty minutes, anyway?

Drawing her focus outside of her mind, the medic was shocked to realize that she had supposedly been examining a relatively innocuous wall holding hosiery. In other words, she'd intently been studying a wall full of hosiery longer than should be humanly possible unless the viewer had a leg fetish.

Lovely, I can't seem to act natural.

In fact, Sakura hadn't left her current spot since she first entered Lucky's Adult Emporium. She didn't know who Lucky was, but she assumed he made a decent income, considering that he seemed to have a monopoly on all adult boutiques in Konoha. Fingering a package of fishnet stockings, she glanced around the shop as casually as possible. Behind her, a young man rifled through a selection of DVDs that appeared much more graphic than Kakashi's preferred written…erotica. The Copy Nin grew defensive when the term "porn" was used to describe Jiraiya's books.

She shuffled a bit to the left, pretending to be absorbed in reading the description of a lacey, red garter belt set proclaiming to be new and improved. Apparently the straps were now adjustable. Sneaking a peek to the right, she merely caught a glimpse of a woman carrying risqué outfits to the curtained-off fitting room.

Moving to a pair of white thigh-highs, she chanced another look around the store.

No luck.

There was an astonishingly large variety of lube and bachelorette party supplies, but no sign of what she was searching for. She felt heat begin to creep into her face at the thought of having to ask an employee for assistance. Her heart began to race.

Seriously? You've killed people with your bare hands without breaking a sweat! Why are you panicking now?

Apparently Lucky's Adult Emporium was more nerve-wracking than heading into battle. Shoving all vehement mental scoldings aside, she forced herself to steady her furiously beating heart and master the blush taking up residence on her cheeks. She would just take a quick walk around—as soon as she convinced her legs to cooperate—to see if the store carried what she was looking for. If not, then she would leave. At this point, she was mostly hoping for the latter.

Taking a deep breath, she managed to stroll past the cashier counter, pretending a fascination with the corsets hanging opposite of it. Quickly averting her eyes from the restraints and floggers just beyond, she spotted an additional room that had been hidden from view until now.

There.

Somewhat relieved, she strode into the room. Too late, she noticed the attractive, friendly looking woman standing beside a glass display case in the center of the area. Sakura judged the distance between the entryway she had just come through and the woman rapidly making her way towards her. She wouldn't be able to make a retreat in time. "Hello, can I help you find anything, or—"

"I'm fine, just looking, thanks," Sakura interrupted, cutting off the woman's cheerful spiel.

Inwardly, she cringed, feeling like she had been too abrupt. The saleswoman, who seemed to be only a few years older than the kunoichi, returned to her previous post. Trying to eradicate any self-consciousness, Sakura moved to one of the three walls from which a diverse array of vibrators hung. She browsed a rack of bullet and other external massagers, contemplating what would suit her best.

Between missions, increased hours at the hospital, and Naruto's overprotectiveness, her dating life had become nonexistent. It had been a while, longer than she cared to remember, since she had last been intimate with anyone. Sometimes her fingers just weren't enough. The medic had decided it would be much easier to simply take care of matters on her own, hence why she found herself currently surrounded by a rainbow of brightly colored dildos and vibrators.

She resisted the urge to scoff when she stopped in front of the display of "realistic" toys. None of her previous partners had been quite so well endowed as the silicone dildos in front of her. Peering curiously into a tall, locked case, Sakura nearly choked when she saw the astronomical prices of the items inside. She found herself staring at a circular…thing. It wasn't a cock ring, and she couldn't quite figure out its exact use. Such as which crevasse or body part it was meant to go in or lay on, respectively. Regardless, she guessed that the answer didn't matter all that much, considering that she wasn't going to shell out a month's salary for the toy. She still had rent and grocery bills to pay.

She glanced up when she heard footsteps heading towards the room. A middle age man strolled in, drawing the saleswoman's attention. Sakura silently thanked him for that. She felt more at ease now that the woman was distracted, helping the man find a strap on dildo for his wife. Sakura continued her path around the room, silently questioning why ninety percent of all the toys seemed to be bright pink.

She had been hoping for something with a bit more subtle color, considering that most of her teammates didn't seem to comprehend the concept of personal boundaries. While she never planned on bringing anything purchased here along on a mission, her team seemed to make themselves at home at her apartment more frequently than she would prefer. While Sasuke would never rummage through drawers in her bedroom, Sai did not have the same grasp of social niceties. Additionally, Sakura had come with the intent to find something that could be easily hid from hyperactive blonds that possessed a flagrant disregard for not snooping through others' personal things. Unfortunately, that description fit both Ino and Naruto.

She stopped to consider an assortment of internal vibrators that seemed to be more reasonably priced. Eventually, she decided upon a black one in a rabbit style. Grabbing a box, she hurriedly walked towards where the cashier was, eyes firmly fixed on the tile floor. At least that was the case until an all too familiar voice stopped her in her tracks. "I thought for sure that you would choose the pink one."

Sakura reflexively clutched the box—with images of its contents plastered blatantly all over—tightly to her stomach. Right, like that's going to help hide what you're doing here, she sneered at herself.

Her head snapped up. An angry, albeit more than slightly mortified, glare bore down on the silver-haired ninja before her. Sakura cursed herself for not noticing that there was a book section tucked away in the shop. She cursed herself even more for failing to realize who was browsing said book section. Idiot, and you call yourself a shinobi…

Her body temperature seemed to rise several degrees as a jumble of rage, embarrassment, and irritation flooded her. Kakashi grabbed the back of his neck with his hand, almost nervously. "Yo," he greeted.

She wanted nothing more than to punch that amused eye crinkle off his masked face. However, she got the feeling that the store frowned upon its patrons beating up one another, regardless of how deserved it might be. The last thing the medic needed was to draw attention to herself by being forcibly removed from an adult boutique. "Breathe a single word of this to anyone and I'll kill you," she hissed, eyes narrowing. "I mean it, no one will be able to find your corpse once I'm through with you."

He lifted his hands in a placating manner. He promised, "point taken, not a word."

She stormed off, grabbing the first containers of lube and toy cleaner that she came across. She plunked her items down onto the checkout counter, forcing a smile at the blond cashier with vibrant blue eyeshadow. The woman eyed Sakura suspiciously, before asking to see an ID. "Uh, sorry?" the kunoichi asked.

"I just need to see an identification card to verify that you are eighteen," the cashier responded politely.

Shit.

As a shinobi, Sakura was not allowed to carry around any identification other than a Leaf hitai-ate, even within the village. Unfortunately, in an effort to not be recognized—as if her pink hair wasn't a dead giveaway—entering and exiting Lucky's establishment, she had decided to don civilian clothing. The suspicious look the woman had given her made sense now. She had been taking in Sakura's youthful appearance, along with her pink hair and…less than well-endowed figure. Now, here she was at the age of twenty-two, without an ID or hitai-ate, making it seem like she was a minor trying to get away with buying a vibrator. Between this and running into the man that was her former sensei and current colleague while embracing a vibrator, the universe was clearly letting her know that today was not her day.

She froze, mind whirling. Then she heard his voice again. "She isn't allowed to carry an ID," Kakashi told the cashier from over Sakura's shoulder, tapping the hitai-ate covering his left eye. "Shinobi regulations, and all that. I can vouch that she's over eighteen. By the way," he added, setting two familiar books down beside her own attempted purchases, "she'll also take these."

In the instant it took Sakura to scowl at the distinct green and orange covers of the Icha Icha volumes, he managed to disappear in a cloud of smoke. He slipped away before she could sink her vengeful claws into him. The blond woman accepted Kakashi's words and began to ring up the items. Through the red haze that seemed to cloud her vision, Sakura managed to exchange cash for the purchases now tucked inside a discreet bag.

She left the emporium as if the hounds of hell were nipping at her ankles. "One of these days I'm actually going to kill that man," she vowed fiercely as she was swept up into the crowd on the street. "One day soon."