Note to readers: This fic is manga-based. So if you only know the series, don't be surprised if you don't recognize some characters and/or storylines, or if you feel that they are out of character. That's simply because the manga is a whole lot sillier than the anime.
If you do know the manga … this comes right before Gensou Kai and after Kyoto Chapter. (How can anything come after Gensou Kai?! It's not even done yet!!)
Spoilers for both anime and manga in here. This is a rather clean fic except for perhaps the people in the fic obsessed with poor Tsuzuki-san … XP
Note: I had this previously uploaded, and finally took it down to reupload because of the fanfiction.net split. See, this fic was on another profile, which later on became my originals profile. With fictionpress.net, I was forced to finally transfer my fanfics to this profile. ^^ I also reedited the formatting.
Disclaimers: Yami no Matsuei is the property of Matsushita Youko-sensei, Hana to Yume magazine, and everyone else. I don't own the characters and storylines, I'm just borrowing them.
©© ---- hearts
Auction
By: Riisha-chan
"Tsuzuki!! Wake up, you lazy baka!!"
"n?" Tsuzuki Asato opened one lazy eye to look up at his longtime partner. "Hisoka … let me sleep … a few more minutes … Few more min …."
He was snoring again …
Kurosaki Hisoka felt the veins pop out of his forehead. "Tatsumi-san is looking for you. And if he sees you slacking off like this, you know he'll make you work even more!! You STILL have to pay for the library you've destroyed … FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!! And please be reminded, that's not ALL you've destroyed …"
"Gyaaa!!!! Okay, Hisoka!!! I'll get up!!! I'll get up!!!"
Tsuzuki stood up, turning SD youko, his big purple eyes filled with tears, "You won't tell him will you? Please don't tell him … please don't tell him …"
"Why shouldn't I?!"
"Hisokaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ………"
Hisoka stood there tapping his foot as the kawaii creature groveled and begged at his feet, "All right. Fine. I won't tell."
"Yay!! Thaaaaank yooooooou, Hisoka!!!"
Besides, it won't matter anymore after what he plans to do to you.
Hisoka gestured toward Tatsumi Seiichirou's office. "After you."
"Hey, Hisoka. Why'd you let me go first? Huh? You don't do that often …"
Hisoka searched his brain for a reply. He didn't need one as Tsuzuki just smiled and said, "It's all right!! You're just getting nicer, aren't you?!"
Tsuzuki walked toward the office, smiling. And as soon as he walked through the door, he was knocked unconscious.
Hisoka walked up, "I think you could've gotten him while he was napping, Tatsumi-san. You didn't have to wake him up anymore."
"It's for his own good," Tatsumi answered, "I'll be surer he doesn't wake up."
Hisoka shrugged. "This is a little harsh, isn't it, Tatsumi-san?"
"It's his fault he's gotten into so debts!!" Tatsumi's on fire and his glasses are glowing ominously, "Wahahahaha!! We will probably earn enough to pay off all his debts, and all the debts of EnmaCho!!!!"
Hisoka can only step back and stare.
"Now!! Off to the auction hall!!" Tatsumi announced with an ear to ear grin, dragging the poor unconscious Tsuzuki with him. Hisoka followed.
I actually feel sorry for the poor baka …
-----*-----
"Order! Order!!"
Tsuzuki groaned, opening his eyes, What happened? My head hurts. Where am I? I'm … in a CAGE!??!
He sat up, staring at the crowd seated before him. What the hell?!
"Ah! I see our subject has regained consciousness."
Tsuzuki looked to the side to see Tatsumi at the podium. "Ta-tatsumi?! Wh-what's happening?"
"Can't you see, Tsuzuki-san?" Tatsumi smiled evilly. "We're selling you off!!!"
"NA-NA-NA-NANI?!!?!?!? WAAAAAAHHH!!! TATSUMI!!!! You can't do this!!!!!!!!!!"
"Of course I can!!" Tatsumi laughs, his glasses still glowing ominously, "I've realized that if I just make you work without pay, it'll take about another 300 years to pay off all your debts. And that already includes the aid of Terazuma Hajime."
The said name grunted from the audience, counting his money.
"This will therefore be MUCH easier …"
"Tatsumi …." Tsuzuki wailed, tears started flowing down his face. "I thought you wanted me to be happy! And I'm not happy now …"
"That's worked before, Tsuzuki-san … It won't work again!!"
"WHAT?!!!"
Tatsumi turned to the crowd before him. "Presenting our key item for the day, Tsuzuki Asato. Age, 26, physically, almost 100, spiritually; Hair, Black; Eyes, Purple; Height, 180 cm; Blood Type, B. A powerful Shinigami with 12 Shikigami sworn to him. Bidding starts … now!"
"5 yen!"
Everyone facefaulted.
They all turned to Watari Yutaka.
"Hey! I wanted a new guinea pig cheap!"
"Waaaaah!! Is that all I'm worth to you, Watari?!! I thought I was your friend!!!"
"Watari-san," Tatsumi could only adjust his glasses, "I'm afraid you're bidding below the minimum."
"Fine!" The scientist scoffed, "10 yen!"
"100 yen!" Terazuma Hajime yelled. He was going to enjoy a new punching bag.
"Hajime-chan …" Kannuki Wakaba sniffed. How she hated it when her partner would do things like this. How she hated it that Hajime-chan and Tsuzuki-san would always fight.
"500 yen!" cried a demon. He still wanted to get rid of the potential Brigade Commander. Such a disgrace to Makai when a human was considered for the post!
"750 yen!" Terazuma shot back.
"1 000 yen!" Watari went. He hated not being able to get his guinea pig at a very cheap price.
Yet, it was still too cheap to stop there.
"1 500!" yelled another demon.
"2 500!!"
Everyone stared at the unfamiliar person who owned the unfamiliar voice.
"What are you doing here?!" Tsuzuki yelled, "You're the author of this fic!! You can't bid!!!"
"Nuts. Busted," Riisha snapped her fingers and disappeared back out of the fic to in front of her computer.
"Waaaaah!!!" Torii Saya wailed, "Why is it Tsuzuki-san up there?!"
"Right!" Fukiya Yuma agreed, "It should be Hisoka-kun!!"
Hisoka felt his blood boil, hearing the comments of the two Hokkaido girls.
"We still have a lot more for him!"
"He still hasn't tried the Pink House! And we'd never seen him in the latest, either!"
"That's true, Yuma-chan! Perhaps we should visit him when we next come down from Hokkaido!"
Hisoka shivered at the memory.
"5 000!"
"10 000!"
"50 000 yen! ©©"
Tsuzuki froze at the voice, and turned. "HAKUSHAKU?!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!!"
"I've come to bid for you, Tsuzuki! And I CAN'T lose …. Nee? Tsuzuki?"
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The mask smiles and laughs, "Don't worry, Tsuzuki ©©. I'll make sure I win. And then … You will belong to me! ©©©"
Hearts and flowers are floating around Tsuzuki in Hakushaku's mind.
Tsuzuki screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Why are you so disturbed, Tsuzuki? Tonight, I will love you more than anyone."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Tatsumi banged his gavel, "The bid is at 50 000! 75 000, any takers?"
Watari sighed … at his low salary, how could he possibly beat that?
"I don't have enough." Terazuma cursed under his breath.
Wakaba smiled, "Hajime-chan!! Let's go out to eat!!" she grabbed his arm and started to drag him away.
"Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't touch me, baka!!!!!"
The transformed Terazuma broke down a wall on his way out, with Wakaba running, worriedly, after him, carrying her fuda. She needed to transform him back before he destroys anything else! Oh the horror if she doesn't hurry!
Tatsumi tried to control the anger welling up inside him, "That's coming out of your salary, Terazuma!!"
No one spoke. No one dared to go up against the prestiged inhabitant of the Castle of Candles.
Hakushaku just smiled.
"The bid is at 50 000. Going once …"
SD youko Tsuzuki whimpered.
Not good … I can't let this happen … I have to do something …
"Going twice …"
"75 000!"
Everyone gasped. Even Tatsumi looked surprised. Hakushaku glared.
Tsuzuki cheered, "Hisoka!!! I knew you'd help me out!!!"
"100 000!" Hakushaku countered.
Hisoka glared at Hakushaku, "125!"
"150!"
"200!"
"300!!"
"450!!"
"500!!"
Tsuzuki stared as his partner and his worst nightmare battled it out, "I didn't know Hisoka had that much money …"
Tatsumi nodded, "The bid is at 500 000 yen …"
Hisoka started walking toward the stage, knowing he can't get any higher.
"Kyaaaa!! I wish Hisoka-san would bid for me like that!!"
"Hai, Saya-chan! I want Hisoka-kun to pay 1 000 000 yen for me!!"
Dream on … Hisoka mumbled in his brain.
"Going once …"
Everyone was just waiting for the time to run out … They had grown quite bored after that exciting exchange between Hisoka and Hakushaku.
Hisoka came up beside Tatsumi,.
"Going twice …" Tatsumi announced, before turning to Hisoka, "Good work, Kurosaki-kun!" he smiled. "It's not even a small dent of the debt, but it's a good start."
"Arigatou, Tatsumi-san. It's a pleasure doing business with you."
"Nani?!!" Tsuzuki wailed, "You mean you WEREN'T going to save me?!!"
"Baka."
"Waaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! Hisoka!!! How can you do this to me?!!?!?! I trusted you!!!!!!! You're my partner!!!!"
"Sol-"
"Wait."
There was a commotion in the crowd. They all turned to the door.
"May I please ask what is the bid?"
Tsuzuki paled, "Mu-Mu-Mu-MURAKI!?!?! But you're dead!!!!!"
Muraki Kazutaka just smiled, "Ah! Tsuzuki-san! You were concerned for me, nee?"
"Y-you-you!!! You died in Touda's flames!!!"
"You think that is enough to kill me? How cute. You really were concerned, weren't you? Perhaps you had forgotten."
"NOOOOO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!"
Tatsumi would've ordered the man out, if he wasn't so intent on the money. "The bid is 500 000 yen."
Muraki smiled, "750 000."
Hakushaku yelled, "How dare you meddle around in affairs concerning MY Tsuzuki!!!" he turned back to the podium, "1 000 000!!"
"1 150 000."
"1 250 000!!"
"1 500 000."
"2 000 000!!"
All eyes were on the two as they continued to yell out frighteningly high sums. The same questions were on everyone's mind: How far will they go? How much will they bid?
And most of all …
Who will win?
"How can you keep up to me, measly human?" Hakushaku taunted, "After all! I extinguish the flames of many mortals on the living world, every day."
"I am a successful doctor, with my own share of psychic powers," Muraki replied, quite too calmly, "You can't throw anything at me that I can't top."
Hakushaku took one long glare at Muraki, "All of EnmaCho's debts shall be paid."
Tatsumi could've yelled with joy. "This is going better than I thought!"
Muraki returned the same icy glare, "Double that amount …"
"Waaaaaaaaaaay better!!"
"Tatsumi-san, please be reminded of our agreement."
"Yes, yes, Kurosaki-kun. We shall split evenly whatever excess amount there is."
Hisoka nods, satisfied.
"Hisokaaaaaaa …. Tatsumiiiiiiiiii … How can you do this to meeeee …. I'm not some possession …. Pleeeeeaseeeeeeee save me!!! I might be sold off to Hakushaku! Or Muraki!"
Hisoka scoffed, "Who do you think brought this auction to Muraki's attention?"
"What!?!?!?!! YOU?!?!?! HISOKAAA??!! HOW COULD YOU?!?!?!"
At that moment both Muraki and Hakushaku yelled an amount so ridiculously high, there was no way Tatsumi could pass it up.
"SOLD!!"
Muraki stared.
Hakushaku stared.
The whole crowd stared.
"Who won?"
"Whose bid is it?!"
"They bid the same amount!"
Tatsumi just smiled, "Easily set up. Since they have bid the same amount at the same time, they shall split the prize!!"
"WHAT?!?!?" Tsuzuki yelled.
"They shall swap the prize everyday that they use it. Each shall pay of course the same amount of yen as that is the sum that they had each bid."
"WHAT?!?!?!?!!" Tsuzuki yelled again, for the nth time that night.
"Sounds good," Hakushaku said.
"Quite agreeable," Muraki agreed.
"Wahahahahahaha!!" Tatsumi laughed evilly, "This is MUCH better than I had planned."
"Requesting for the payments offered by our two winners?" Hisoka said.
Hakushaku grins and drools, "Ah! How lovely! Tsuzuki shall belong to me, tonight!"
"Tonight?" Muraki asked, "I WILL avail of this service tonight."
"What?! Of course not! He should be mine tonight!"
"Wait, I have a plan. We can BOTH keep him tonight."
"WHAT?!?! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!!"
"It's a deal, Hakushaku shook hands with Muraki.
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" he screamed a last time …
-----*-----
… And woke up with a start. And noticed with slight disgust that he had drooled on his desk. He wiped it off and didn't bother getting up.
It was … a dream! … Phew … it was all a dream … just a dream …
He drifted back to sleep.
"Tsuzuki!! Wake up, you lazy baka!!"
"n?" Tsuzuki opened his eye to look up at Hisoka. "Hisoka … let me sleep … a few more minutes … Few more min …."
"Tatsumi-san is looking for you. And if he sees you slacking off like this, you know he'll make you work even more!! You STILL have to pay for the library you've destroyed … FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!!"
"Gyaaa!!!! Okay, Hisoka!!! I'll get up!!! I'll get up!!!"
Suddenly, it seemed familiar … too familiar …
Hisoka gestured toward Tatsumi's office. "After you."
"Uwaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! NO!!!!!!!!! YOU WON'T AUCTION ME OFF TO MURAKI AND HAKUSHAKU!!!!!!"
Tsuzuki high-tailed out of there, screaming.
Hisoka stared blankly after him.
"Kurosaki-kun? Where is Tsuzuki-san?"
Hisoka shrugged, "He left. Something about an auction."
Tatsumi frowned, "Well, that's too bad. I was sure he'd want some of the apple pie that Konoe Kacho asked as a souvenir. Kacho won't be having it because he left. I even had some of Tsujiri's ocha ... his favorite tea."
"I will never understand that baka …"
"No one ever will. Would you care to have some, instead? Kurosaki-kun?"
"No, thank you, Tatsumi-san. I'll just look for Tsuzuki." He paused, "Or perhaps … Very well, Tatsumi-san. He'll probably come back sooner or later."
"Correct," Tatsumi went back to his office and stared at the file he had kept for a while, "How will Tsuzuki-san pay for all these debts?"
-----*-----