I do not own Captain America: Civil War.

Got loads of backpacks tho.

Taking Inventory


"Order and catalogue the contents of this bag."
"Yes, sir."
But he was already gone.
A backpack, really?
Couldn't get investigation and decimation of the shield or the bird suit, huh?
Nooo, I get a crappy . . .
"One canvas backpack."
Ugh, smells like mold and mildew.
What's it been shoved under somebody's house or something?
Deep breath.
Coulda taken an internship at Apple that year.
But no, let's join the James Bond club instead.
Five years later, I'm unzipping a frackin' backpack full of . . .
"Notebooks. One, two, three, four . . . eleven notebooks."
Full of . . . god, that's some scratchy writing.
And-
"Nice Captain America postcard. What's this guy in love with him or some shit?"
"I don't know, man. Just write it down."
Heavy sigh.
"Fine, whatever. 'Diaries', got it."
"And . . . pens."
"Like, laser pens? Invisible ink pens? Black adder poison pens?"
"No, just . . . pens."
Grunt. Long suffering sigh.
"Okay. Two pens. Got it."
A moment of investigation.
"Side pocket. Let's see . . . six . . . what are these, roach mot-"
"Don't touch that button! I've seen these! They're explosives!"
Excited chatter now.
"What, really?!"
"Yeah, you press the button and throw it and it sticks to whatever it lands on and explodes! Really powerful!"
Reverent silence for a moment.
Then . . .
"Wonder where the hell he stole those from?"
"I dunno. Write it down. Okay about . . . seventy-five bucks American . . . Euro . . . Lira . . . some other coins . . ."
"Log it or stash it?"
"Log it, man. I ain't gettin' fired."
"Puss-"
"Front small pocket . . . protein bars . . . one, two, three . . . five protein bars."
"What flavor?"
"Who cares, they all taste like dirt anyway."
Bored sigh.
"Okay. What else?"
"Uhhh . . . that's . . . it. Huh. Damn. That was worse than I expected."
"What'd you expect?"
"I don't know. Mysterious bag comes into HQ, you think it's gonna be interesting, full of severed heads or some -"
"You thought it was going to be full of severed heads? What are you, Morgan Freeman in Se7en?"
"Shut up."
"Alright, put it all back."
Rough shuffling.
Rezipping.
"Turn this in. I'm going to get some coffee."
Stupid, peace of crap bag. Couldn't even have any porn mags in there. What a loser . . .


Bucky's backpack had all those notebooks full of those memories and quandries.
And Sebastian Stan said Bucky never got it back and we all know it was important to him.
Dangit, Sharon, couldn'ta nicked it on your 'absconding-stuff-back-to-Steve spree?
*bangs head on desk repeatedly*
Anyway, thanks for checking out my lil ditty that was more rant than story, ha.
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