AN: Hey! I'm truly sorry for not being able to publish in months… It's just been so much with school… and I've had some issues with myself… It's just… that … there's a lot going on in my life right now and it's hard to write when I'm facing difficulties because the chapters I write will only turn out to be cold, mean, deep and just awfully depressed… another thing I'm sorry for is that I don't remember so much of what I've written before… so if I write something that maybe doesn't make sense, just go with it. Thank you so much for those people who have been sticking around, waiting for this new chapter. I will publish more often from now on. Just keep being patient with me. Thank you :)

It was a new day. It was a little cold outside, but Clarke was already outside, enjoying her cup of coffee. The clock was only a few minutes past 6 am, and Lexa had just woken up, but she fell asleep again, so Clarke kissed her forehead and let the brunette sleep a little longer.

Clarke smiled as she looked out at the street. It was quiet. It was still unusual to not hear traffic when she was outside. In the city, there were always people around, even though it was 6 am, but here there was no one. It was quiet and peaceful. And Clarke loved it. She sat out a few minutes more and then went inside again because she was just wearing a t-shirt, and she was starting to get cold.

"There you are!" Lexa smiled and made her way to the blonde. The brunette caressed Clarke's arms and Clarke shivered. "You're cold!" Lexa whispered as she pulled Clarke into a hug to warm her. Clarke just inhaled slowly with a huge smile on her face. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Lexa. "Are you okay, baby?" Lexa wondered. She still held on to Clarke. The blonde just smiled and hugged Lexa a little bit harder.

"Clarke?" Lexa pulled herself away from the hug. She was worried but was relieved as she saw Clarke smiling. "I'm more than okay" Clarke smiled, she held around Lexa's waist. "I just love you so much…" Clarke's eyes sparkled. It was like tears build up in her eyes. The exact same thing happened to Lexa. The brunette pulled Clarke into a hug. "I love you more… trust me" Lexa whispered. Lexa's heart beat fast. Tomorrow was the day she was going to propose to Clarke. And she was going to plan the proposal later at work. "Hey, I'm going to work at around 3 pm and work till late and just take the day off tomorrow. Is that okay?" Clarke wondered. 'perfect'. Lexa thought. "Yeah, sure. And don't make any plans tomorrow, okay? I want it to be just you and me" Lexa paced her warm hand on Clarke's cold cheeks.

"Madi's going on a date, but what about Aden?" Clarke wondered. "We can ask your parents if they can watch him" the brunette smiled. Clarke kissed Lexa. "okay". They hugged each other for a good long moment. "Good morning" Madi smiled and joined the hug. Something that she regrets. Clarke and Lexa pulled Madi and placed her between them and hugged and kissed her. "nooo! Let me go" Madi tried to wiggle out of their arms. They all shared a good laugh after letting her go.

"I'll make us some breakfast. How do you feel about toast?" Lexa made her way to fetch some bread and goods from the fridge because she knew they wouldn't say no to toast. Clarke started making coffee and Madi set the table. As they sat down, Clarke texted her parents and asked if they could babysit Aden tomorrow. "I think I'm going to swing by the house after school to drop my schoolbag here"

"Okay. Just let me know when you get home, so I can give you a hug before you leave" Clarke smiled at Madi. "Are you going to be here when I get home?" Madi wondered. The blonde nodded her head. "okay" Madi smiled. "I'm going to work late today, so I will probably eat dinner at work with my co-workers," Clarke told Lexa and Madi. Madi smiled and as Lexa laid eyes on Madi, they smiled at each other.

While Lexa made toast, Clarke made her way upstairs to wake up Aden. Madi made sure Clarke was upstairs before she jumped on Lexa. Hugging her. "Aren't you excited for tomorrow?" Madi beamed. The little brunette could feel Lexa's heart beat faster. Lexa let out a short soft laugh. "yes". Madi let go of Lexa. "you should totally buy her lots of roses" Madi smiled. Lexa giggled. "But I'm the one who's so obsessed with flowers… I would've just stolen those flowers from her anyways" Lexa laughed, Madi laughed with her. "But roses aren't a bad idea," Lexa said.

At the office, Lexa couldn't focus on work. Clarke was everything she thought about. She jumped as she heard someone knock on the door. She could see Anya through the glass wall. "Come in" she waved her hand at Anya, welcoming her in. Anya smiled. "Hey! How're things going. Have you planned how you're going to propose yet?" Anya wondered as she sat down on the sofa next to Lexa.

"I was actually thinking… spread rose petals that lead her to our bedroom …" Lexa started. Anya widened her eyes. "Oh, it's that kind of proposal" Anya laughed. Lexa hit Anya on the arm and tried not to laugh. "okay, well maybe the living room is a better option" Lexa though. Anya nodded her head. I'm thinking I could cook her dinner, set the table in the living room. Dim the lights… light candles. And of course, spread rose petals on the floor. Buy a bouquet of red roses. … and I can play guitar and sing for her!" Lexa smiled. Anya grabbed Lexa's hand. "That sounds wonderful. What song are you gonna play?"

Lexa sighed. "I don't know which song I should play" Lexa leaned back on the couch. "What do you should the song should be about?" Anya wondered. Lexa shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know… maybe a song where I can sing about how much I love her… and I want it to be a cute and romantic song about being in love…" Lexa widened her eyes and gasped. "I know which song I should play!" The brunette beamed at her sister. Anya got pulled into a quick hug before Lexa got up and started looking after her phone. She dialed someone's number and called.

"Titus. Could you go home to my place and bring my guitar? It's really important" Lexa nervously bit her lower lip. "Yes, thank you so much, Titus. Bye" she hung up on the phone, turned on her computer and searched "I can't help falling in love with you. guitar chords". She sat down and started looking at the chords.

"You have come a long way in your love life. I can't believe that you are soon going to propose to the love of your life" Anya smiled beautifully at Lexa. "I hope she says yes" Lexa felt a little insecure for a second. "Of course, she's going to say yes! She loves you. And you have Madi and Aden, I don't think she's afraid of commitment" Anya tried to boost Lexa's confidence up. And it worked.

"Could you go and get Octavia for me? I need to ask her a favor" Lexa sent Anya to go and get Octavia. Only a few minutes later, Octavia came in. "Hey" Octavia smiled. "Hey. please sit down" Lexa smiled. "Is everything okay…? Is it because I was sick yesterday and forgot to send that email to Azgeda company?" Octavia looked worried. "no, no. I did it for you yesterday. Don't worry about it. I actually want to ask you if you could do a favor for me" Lexa said while nervously playing with her fingers. "Sure. What do you want me to do?" Octavia wondered.

"I need you to distract Clarke tomorrow while I fix everything at home," Lexa said. "oh yeah of course! It's so exciting Lexa!" Octavia clapped her hands together in excitement. "I really hope she says yes" Lexa got a little insecure again. "Lexa, I know Clarke inside and out. I know how much she loves you. Everyone knows how much she loves you. Of course, she's going to say yes"

Octavia stayed in Lexa's office and just talked with her for a while. They talked about Clarke, and then about how Lexa was going to propose. 20 quick minutes passed, and Titus came in with Lexa's guitar. "Thank you, Titus!" Lexa smiled. Titus nodded his head before he left the room. "You're such a cheesy and romantic person" Octavia complimented Lexa. "Thanks" Lexa blushed.

Clarke had just dropped Madi off at school and Aden at the kinder garden. She thought it would be nice if she drove over to her parent's house to say hi. As she was driving, she couldn't help but think about Lexa. Imagining them growing old together. Loving each other just as much as they have been loving each other for years. She thought about Madi and Aden… how they would become adults… about them moving out, getting married, having kids. "Grandkids" Clarke whispered under her breath. Smiling a little. She couldn't wait to have grandkids. But she didn't want grandkids now.

"oh my god" Clarke thought. She wondered if Madi had ever had 'the sex talk' before. Now that Madi was dating this guy, they may become girlfriend and boyfriend, and their relationship will maybe go to the next level. Clarke had to have a sex talk with Madi.

Clarke tried to think about what to say to Madi and kept driving towards her mother's house. Then her phone rang, it was Lexa. She smiled.

"Hey babe" Clarke said.

"Hey baby. I'm just really bored, and I wanted to hear your voice" Lexa said.

Clarke smiled to herself and shook her head while letting out a short laugh under her breath. "You're cute, you know that. I really want to kiss you right now… and hug you and just cuddle"

Lexa laughed. "Awwe! You're the cute one! Can't you come and stay with me here at work? I'm not actually doing anything" Lexa played her guitar a little.

"I'll come after I've talked to mom. Then I could stay with you till I got to work, okay?" Clarke said.

It went silent for a few long seconds. "Lexa, hello?" Clarke said. "Hello?" she tried again. All she heard that laughter. "I'm sorry, Clarke" Lexa laughed. "It was just Anya who walked past the office and slipped on something and spilled coffee on her white shirt" Lexa laughed so hard it was almost hard to hear what she was saying.

Clarke smiled. "oh my god, is she okay?" she giggled.

"I'm fine!" Anya leaned against the phone. "Your girlfriend is mean. You should come over here and beat the shit out of her" Anya said. Clarke could hear that Lexa tried to take her phone back and that she said: "shut up".

Clarke smiled. "maybe I will" she joked.

"Heey!" Lexa exclaimed.

"Hey, I have to go. I'm at my mom's house now. I'll come by later. Love you!" Clarke said with her cute voice.

"Love you"

Clarke stepped out of the car and inhaled fresh air. She walked slowly to the door, knocked, and just walked in. "Hello. It's Clarke" Clarke called out.

"Hello!" she heard her mother from the living room. The blonde strolled to the living room. Her mother was cuddled up on a comfy couch. She beamed as she saw her mother. "Hello, mom" the blonde greeted and hugged her mom. She sat close next to her mom. "Do you want a cup of coffee or tea?" her mother asked. Clarke shook her head and smiled. "no thanks, mom. I actually came here to tell you something… It's not a big deal… or… well, It could be a big deal" Clarke said nervously. She started fiddling with her fingers and looked at her feet because she couldn't look into her mothers' eyes.

"I quit taking my pills… for my depression. I know you don't care, but I just wanted to let you know…" Clarke pressed her lips together. Abby looked confused. She noticed how nervous Clarke was. The way Clarke's leg kept shaking, and the way she nervously fiddled with her fingers… She grabbed Clarke's hands and hoped that Clarke dared to make eye contact.

"How can you say that I don't care?" Abby asked with a soft voice. Her voice was so gentle and calm. "I'm your mother, of course, I care about you" Abby's voice cracked. For Abby, it was getting hard to speak, Clarke knew all about that. She felt her mother's hands started trembling. "Clarke, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you… but that doesn't mean that I didn't care. When I found out about it… I was so worried… and wanted to see you… but I knew that you wouldn't see me and that would only make the situation worse…" Abby started crying. She felt so much guilt. Clarke's heart ached. She embraced her mother.

"I'm so scared you will try to… do it again" Abby sobbed. The blonde started crying. She didn't like to see her mother like this. And the worse thing was that it was her fault. She caused this. She was the reason her mother was crying. She pulled her mother closer to her and hugged her harder. "I won't…" Clarke whispered. "I have too many important people in my life… I can't leave you guys…" Clarke pulled herself out of her mother's arms and wiped away her mother's tears.

"I love you" her mother placed her hand on Clarke's cheek.

"I love you too" Clarke smiled and placed her hand on her mother's hand.

Clarke stayed with her mother a few hours. Madi was soon going to drop off her backpack before she headed out to her date. And Aden was going to be here with her mother. "I think I'm going to pick up Aden. I really want to see him and hug his little body. And I want to give Maddy a hug before she left for her date" Clarke said. "They're growing up so fast" Abby laughed. Clarke laughed too.

"Too fast" Clarke hugged her mother. "Goodbye! See you in a bit!" She waved her hand before she walked out the door. Clarke drove to the kindergarten and got inside.

She saw Aden walked towards her. He was smiling and looked so cute. "Hey cutie pie" Clarke smiled and picked him up. Aden pouted. Clarke frowned a little. "what's wrong?" she asked him. He sighted and look around him. "Can you pwees not call me 'cutie pie'." he said. Clarke chuckled. "Well what do you want me to call you then?" she asked as she grabbed his little backpack and walked out to the building while still holding Aden.

"I don't know" Aden shrugged. Clarke let out a short laugh and beamed at little Aden. "You're the cutest… I mean" she quickly reacted. "I-I mean… uhm you're … handsome" Clarke started the car and hoped Aden would take the compliment. "yes, you're right. I'm handsome!" he beamed.

"I'm just going to drop your backpack off at the house, you can take some of your toys with you to mom's" Clarke said as they were inside of the house. "mom's?" Aden asked. "My mom?" he wondered. He looked very confused. "No, my mom… she's your grandma" Clarke smiled and helped him taking off his shoes. "oh… well, who's my mom?" Aden wondered. "I don't have a mom" Aden sighed.

"Does Madi have a mom?" Aden looked up at Clarke with his puppy eyes. Clearly, this was an emotional subject to talk about. Clarke kneeled so she would be on the same height as Aden. She sighed. "Madi do have a biological mother. That means she has a mother. Everyone has a mother. You have a biological mother. But it's only DNA. But that doesn't mean she has a mom. To be a mom you have to care about your children, love them, respect them, inspire and encourage them… and one of the most important things of all is to support them and be there for them no matter what. Madi has told me herself that she doesn't have a mom" Clarke tried to explain.

"oh… well… you're kind of her mother, yes?" Aden wondered. Clarke smiled. "Yes, kind of. DNA doesn't make us family. Love does" Clarke smiled. "I wish you were my mom" Aden hugged Clarke. Clarke's heart beat fast. She was so touched. Before she got to say anything, Aden had already run upstairs. All she could say was: "Don't run inside! Be careful, honey!"

Clarke beamed and called Lexa right away. She told her everything. "I'll call you later, Lexa. Madi just came home" Clarke said, and hung up. "Hey Madi" Clarke smiled. Madi kept her head down low and just stared at the floor as she walked past Clarke. She didn't say anything. Clarke found that strange. She followed after Madi. "Honey are you okay?" she tried to ask her but didn't get any answers. Madi half-ran into her room, threw her backpack on the floor and jumped in bed and started crying.

Clarke sat on the edge of Madi's bed and tried to comfort her. "Sweetheart… what happened?" she tried to ask her with a soft voice. Madi started sobbing. It broke Clarke's heart to see her like this. "Let me in…" Clarke tried once again.

"just go…" Madi manages to say. "Madi, I want to know what's wrong"

"GO. AWAY." Madi raised her voice. She started crying even more. Madi was never mad. And she knew that whenever Madi got mad, she started crying. But she never showed that she was mad. "I just … want to help you" Clarke slowly got out of her bed.

"Do you know what the other kids are saying about me? They call me a freak because I live in a foster home. They think that I was the problem. And that I had to move away from home because I'm a fucking freak. They call me foster freak… and say that everyone at school has a mom and dad and that they're real daughters and sons… and that I'm just a foster daughter…" Madi cried. She didn't look at Clarke.

Clarke sat on the edge of Madi's bed again. "I'm so sorry you had to go through this… But Madi… remember that you are not "just a foster daughter". You're a daughter. Period" Clarke said. She placed her hand on Madi's back and tried to comfort her.

"I'm a daughter to someone who doesn't even want me. Mom hates me. She's not even my mom, just a lady who regrets having me"

Clarke sighed once again. "I don't think no one ever would regret having you, my love… and when I said you're a daughter. I didn't mean you were your mother's daughter… you are my daughter" tears ran down Clarke's face. Madi turned around and looked deeply into Clarke's ocean blue eyes. Madi's eyes sparkled. "Really?" she whispered. Clarke nodded. Madi beamed at Clarke and embraced her with lots of love.

"I love you!" Madi cried.

Clarke smiled and hugged Madi a little harder. "I love you more"

AN: So! That was chapter 45. Not so exciting… but It will do. I hoped you enjoyed reading this chapter. Please leave some comments. It will encourage me to keep reading! Follow and add to favorites too!