Have you ever felt like no matter what you've done in your life, there was always going to be something missing?

This was how Elsie felt every time she was left alone for more than two seconds with her own thoughts. It was an inexplicable feeling, something that made her even feel guilty sometimes. Why does she let that sunken emptiness overwhelm her, when everything was so great around her?

It's not like when she was at Hogwarts. Elsie was always weird, quiet, and shy, so she only has two friends – it wasn't common amongst Gryffindors. She always watched the big groups of friends in the common room with jealousy, and listened to them gush on stories about the parties after the quidditch games, but she never was a part of them herself. Maybe she could've done something to change that – like be more outgoing – but she never did; she rather chose a good book in a quiet corner than cross her own boundaries.

Even though she loved magic, she still picked another path after she left the walls of the castle. She wasn't alone in that: many witches and wizards also chose artistic careers, and some of them even went to muggle colleges. Elsie learnt writing in a place where there were no muggles, but where magic wasn't essential for those who studied there either. Painters', writers', architects', and a lot of other artists' schools were like this – filled with rare people who sometimes even count as weird whether they're among wizards or muggles.

But this place changed Elsie's life completely. From the very first minute, she felt it will be something else, something good – because wow, he's wearing my favourite band's shirt. And oh, she hugged me, just as a greeting. Cool, they understand when I just don't feel like talking, but they still try to keep in contact with me the next day; and so, she stepped out from her comfort zone every day. The many positive feedbacks from her teachers, the fact that people were interested in what she was doing, her friends – who were really her friends, not just fake ones – all gave her the self-confidence she had always craved. She finally had the courage to laugh loudly, speak up and talk in front of people, tell her own opinion, and even shout sometimes, if that was necessary. It was like waking up painless after a very long and painful headache.

So what was the missing part? Elsie couldn't find out.

"Love" – This was Juliet's eternal response. Elsie loved her dearly; she was American, and a huge fan of London. Even after a year living there, she still walks around the city like a little kid in the candy shop. She was lively, always cheerful, with a smile that could brighten up a room. A kind of girl whom every witch was jealous of, and every wizard liked. She was tall and slender, with short, blond hair and small, green eyes. Her face was average, nothing special – until she starts to smile. It changed her whole look.

Her smile was also the one Elsie loved most about herself, but she, on the other hand, was rather short, and not as slender as Juliet. She never had a problem with her shape, though. She also loved her long, brown hair and dark blue eyes, but her face wasn't as naturally happy as Juliet's. "You're a romantic girl, Elsie, even if you try to deny it. A handsome guy – that's what's missing for you," she winked and turned back to her sketchbook.

It was the first week of September. One warm but windy late afternoon, the two friends spent their time at Florean Fortescue's terrace after their last class. Elsie took a sip from her coffee and sighed, "I don't think that a guy would be the solution to my problems."

"That's a nice thought," Juliet snapped her head up and pointed her pen at her friend. She was muggleborn, and still hated using quills, "But you're nineteen, and still haven't got a boyfriend yet! Or girlfriend. I don't care. But believe me that is what you need," after a proud smile, she brushed the loose strands of hair from her eyes, and then furrowed her brows, "Although, I don't know what else to expect in clothes like that. Why do you wear that terrible sweater?"

Elsie put her cup down and looked down at herself: she wore black boots, dark grey skinny jeans, and an oversized, blue sweater, which was clearly too big for her, "It's comfortable! Anyway, I can't even remember where I got this…"

"Gross!" Juliet yelled and shivered, "Maybe you stole it from a homeless man when you were drunk and you don't even remember."

Elsie chuckled, but rolled her eyes as well, "I'm not you, Juliet. Probably my brother left it at home and somehow it ended up in my wardrobe."

Juliet cleared her throat and slipped closer to her on her wooden chair, "So, your brother…"

"Is still engaged. Sorry."

After a big, dramatic sigh, the blond girl cleared her throat and leaned back on the chair, "That guy is so handsome. Tell me if they divorce."

Elsie laughed, "Would you look at that! He's not even married yet and you're already thinking about his divorce!"

Juliet's eyes suddenly lit up, "You know what, we should go out! Pick up some guys…"

"Please no," Elsie growled, but Juliet had already jumped up from her chair and half packed her things into her bag. With a sigh, Elsie finally stood up too. "Where do you even want to drag me to?"

"Leaky Cauldron, of course! There is always a lot of cute auror trainees at the start of the semester," she said with a dreamy voice.

Elsie shrugged and followed her friend. She learnt that arguing with Juliet is useless, and she won't stop whining until Elsie finally goes with her. "Fine, but I won't stay long. I'll visit my parents tomorrow, and I don't want to see them again with a bad hangover because of you."

Juliet threw Elsie a half-offended glance before she stopped after a few steps. "Take that disgusting thing off," Juliet said pointing at Elsie's sweater.

"No, I won't! I only have a sleeveless shirt on under this, and it's too cold for that," Elsie whined, but Juliet crossed her arms across her chest.

"I will transfigure it into something slutty if you don't take it off."

"You're the worst friend ever." – She said after she pulled the comfy sweater off and stuffed it into her bag."

Juliet was right. The pub was crowded with young witches and wizards; as it always was on the first weekend of September.

"Are you cold?" Juliet asked with a crooked grin, looking at her friend's thin, sleeveless, white shirt.

"I am," she answered with an offended voice as they sat on two empty barstools.

"Well, you really need to drink, then. Two firewhiskey, please," she added, smiling at the bartender.

They had drunk firewhiskey after firewhiskey, but only Elsie tried to slow down with it. They talked about school and boys, and an hour later the place was completely full – a lot of people couldn't even sit down.

"Look at that guy over there," Juliet whispered into her friend's ear, nodding at the direction of a group of guys near them, standing in a circle, "The one in leather jacket. He's looked at me several times."

Elsie sighed as she recognized him, "I know who he is. He was a year above me at Hogwarts."

"Introduce me!" Juliet said immediately with a pleading voice, her tone already a bit unsteady from the alcohol.

"Not a good idea. I don't even know him personally, and by the way, he's a huge heartthrob… He loves playing with girls."

"Sounds like my – oh my god, he's coming here!"

Elsie rolled her eyes and stood up, leaving space for her friend's newest prey, but at that moment her gaze met Sirius's, and he halted two steps away from them, staring at her with frozen eyes for several seconds. "Erm… yes?" Elsie asked hesitantly.

Sirius slightly shook his head, his distant gaze finally found its way back, "Sorry. Elsie, yes?"

She could hardly hide her surprise as someone like Sirius Black knew her name and remembered her. "Yes. And this is my best friend, Juliet," she stepped away, looking at the blonde, "She's American, but she studies here."

Sirius' puzzlement vanished as quickly as it came when his gaze locked with Juliet's. Elsie quietly walked away and disappeared in the crowd.

Half an hour passed as she tried to find familiar faces in the crowd, but she knew that people from her school usually picked another place to drink at. She didn't want to interrupt her friend, so she had some more drinks alone, and tried to avoid drunk men until she got too bored and walked back to Juliet. Sirius just whispered something in her ear, resting his hand at the top of her thigh. "Elsie! You don't want to go, do you?"

"I do, I was just about…"

"Just about to come with us? I just told your pretty friend here that there's a party at my friend's house – a housewarming – join us!"

Elsie smiled. "Who? And will they be really happy if we go to their party without an invitation? Surely there are just close friends…"

"James and Lily," Sirius grinned, "and don't worry about it, I invited you."

Before she could protest again, Sirius embraced both of the girls' shoulders and led them through the crowd, out of the bar and into the somewhat quieter street. Juliet's steps were messy, so they rather chose a refreshing walk; apparating while someone was drunk was never a good idea.

"Just so you know, Sirius," Elsie started quietly, while Juliet walked several steps ahead of them, loudly singing a song that neither Elsie nor Sirius knew "… if you hurt her, I'll curse you."

Sirius chuckled and looked mildly impressed. "Look at you, Elsie! You never were so savage… what happened to you?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I'm not savage! And you don't even know me – how do you know what was I like?"

Sirius quickly looked away, his grin disappeared. By the time he looked back, only a slight smile remained on his face. "It's time to change that, then."

They smiled kindly at each other – it was strange. Even though Elsie didn't know Sirius closely, she never saw him smiling like this. Juliet's sudden appearance broke them up as she stopped next to Sirius and grabbed his arm. "You aren't flirting with her, are you?"

"Are you jealous, love?" Sirius asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Juliet laughed with her usual, loud voice. "I'm not. No matter how charming you are, she would never want anything from you. She prefers good guys. Or girls. I still don't know."

"I'm here too, by the way," Elsie waved. Soon they reached the apartment where Sirius knocked on the door. They heard muffled music and laughs through the walls before James opened the door – and Elsie saw it again. The same look that Sirius had not so long ago.

"Elsie?" He asked, clutching on the doorknob and looking at her.

She raised her eyebrows. I was freaking invisible to everybody for seven years, and now the most popular boys remember me? "Yes. I uh… I hope it's okay that we came? We don't want to bother your party or anything."

"No, it's fine, come in," James said, his face still serious. Juliet and Sirius were already inside the house, while Lily joined James and her.

"Elsie! What are you doing here?" Lily asked, the familiar shock slightly in her green eyes, but she smiled. At least it wasn't so strange – Lily used to help her with her Potions studies sometimes during her sixth year.

"Well, Sirius started to flirt my best friend, so…" She shrugged and Lily rolled her eyes, leading her into the living room. There were around twelve people there; Elsie recognized most of them as former Hogwarts students.

"It's a really nice house. Congratulations."

"Thank you," Lily smiled kindly. For a second, something more serious flashed on her face, but just as she opened her mouth, the noise of a breaking glass interrupted them. "I swear, if they broke another mirror…" She growled, "You can find foods and drinks in the kitchen too with less drunken people."

"Thanks," Elsie said, smiling. She felt grateful since it's as if the redhead girl just read her thoughts of wanting to stay away from drunk people. She took a last look at Juliet and Sirius. They were sitting close next to each other on a small armchair definitely too small for two people, but still just talking. She entered into the tiny kitchen where she quickly started to eat a sandwich. She just remembered she hadn't eaten anything since her breakfast. People dropped in and out of the kitchen every so often, every one of them trying to talk Elsie into drinking another shot with them. She felt like she did that one time at Hogwarts when she went to a party – that was even worse, though, because she just felt more nervous back then. Now she could say no without being anxious about it.

But soon it was boring; sitting alone by the table. She poured some firewishkey in a small glass and started to drink, thinking about whether she should go out of the kitchen and make some friends, or just stay there until Juliet decides to go home – which probably won't be any time soon, knowing her. She just stood up from a chair when someone appeared at the doorstep, but the man stopped right after he stepped in and set his eyes on her. He had that familiar look on his face again that Elsie had seen too many times that night.

"Okay, could you tell me why you and your friends are all looking at me like I'm a vampire?" She asked loudly, a bit annoyed, but not angry.

Remus couldn't move, or speak, or breathe – he couldn't really believe he finally saw her after two, long years. Her appearance hadn't changed much, but he could tell from that single sentence that left her lips how much she had actually changed. As they looked at each other in silence, thousands of memories flashed through Remus' brain – from the moment they first talked to each other in the library, to the moment when he first kissed her, to the moment he decided he wipe off all of her memories of him.

He cleared his throat after a few seconds which seemed like an eternity, but still, when he spoke up, his voice was hoarse. "I'm just… you didn't… I never really see you at parties before. And I didn't know you were invited here."

Elsie grabbed another glass and started to fill it with firewhiskey. "I wasn't. My friend and I met Sirius at the Leaky Cauldron and he picked up my friend, so we ended up here," she reached her out her arm with the glass, offering Remus the drink; and as their fingers lightly brushed against each other, a fast but unbelievably intense feeling rushed over her. It was so quick she couldn't even feel it or recall two seconds later. "Are you okay?"

Remus still looked bothered, but it was nothing compared to what he felt inside. It wasn't so long ago when he finally started to recover from what had happened. After nearly two years, he finally felt he could move on. But standing in front of her and talking with her brought everything back – every feeling and every nice memory – everything that she had no idea about. He was a stranger to her, while she was still his whole world, he thought. "I'm okay. I'm just tired."

"You're an even worse liar than I am," she smiled, sitting back down. "But fine, you don't have to tell me. Join me for a few drinks, then."

Remus thought about it for a few seconds; maybe he should leave now, until it wasn't too late. But he missed her so much, and what harm can a few drinks and some talk do?

"So, what was that example with the vampires?" He asked after a sip, sitting next to her.

Elsie frowned, trying to recall the memory. "Oh! Well, my friend, Juliet – you don't know her, she's my classmate – once hooked up with a vampire. The way you and your friends looked at me tonight was exactly how I looked at her when she told me."

"That is extremely dangerous," Remus laughed. "I mean, vampires…"

"Yeah, I know, I know. But she's still alive, so…" Elsie shrugged and chuckled too. "She loves to say that to me, you know. Every time when she's flirting with someone and I try to talk her out of it, she says, 'I had sex with a vampire, do you really think I can't take care of myself?'"

They laughed together again before both of them emptied their glasses; Elsie refilled them immediately. "Since when are you drinking?" Remus asked in surprise, a small smile on his lips.

"And again, you act like you know me," she said, causing Remus to look down for a second. "Anyway, it was since I started going to this school, which is full of people who loves to drink."

"What are you studying?" Remus asked, slightly afraid of the answer. He knew about Elsie's dreams, and how much she loved to write, but she was always too insecure. He knew he helped her a lot, encouraged her and talked her into writing more, but he didn't know yet how much harm he had done when he took away her memoires.

"Writing," she said, and Remus sighed in relief. "What about you?"

"Auror training," he answered shortly, taking another sip.

"There you are!" A loud, thin voice suddenly interrupted them. Juliet rushed into the kitchen and stopped next to Elsie, leaning on her shoulder with half of her weight. "Listen. Look. I wanna go home with Sirius."

Elsie sighed and looked at Remus, who grinned. "Let me guess, you're Juliet."

She turned her head towards him. "I hope she didn't say anything good about me," she winked, and looked back at her friend. "Will you be alright?"

"Yeah, but are you sure you should go? You're drunk."

"Tipsy," she corrected in a sulky voice. "And I'm sure. You, pretty boy – what's your name?" Juliet added, now turning to Remus.

"Remus," he smiled.

"Remus. Will you please escort my friend home later?" She asked, and without waiting for his answer, she continued, "Thank you."

She pressed a kiss on Elsie's cheek before she left them in the kitchen.

"She's allowed to hook up with vampires but you can't even go home alone?" Remus chuckled.

Elsie shook her head and sighed, slightly embarrassed, and she was sure she blushed. "I'm pretty sure she only said that because… because she really wants to find a boyfriend for me."

Remus tried his best to keep himself together. "And does she think I'd be a good one for you?"

She shrugged. "She knows I've never had a boyfriend before. She's just really desperate to find me someone."

Remus's nails were digging into his palms, but he kept smiling. "How's that you've never had anyone? Even after Hogwarts? I mean, you seem an amazing girl to me."

Elsie bit her lower lip and a light pink colour appeared on her cheeks again. "I don't want to start dating someone just so I can tell that I have a boyfriend, you know. I want it to be… special. I couldn't be with just anyone. And…" she stopped there and shook her head with a shy giggle, "Nevermind, it's stupid."

"No, tell me!" He chuckled, unable to hide his curiosity.

After a deep breath and a sigh, she took another sip from her glass. "I don't even know how I should say it," she started in a low voice. "I had some dates with different boys, but I always gave up after one date. Because I just think it should be something more, something… special from the first moments. That probably sounds stupid," she laughed again, but Remus was silent. "Sometimes I just feel there's an exact feeling that I'm looking for, I just couldn't find it. Which is stupid, again, because I've definitely never been in love."

Fear and sadness filled Remus' heart. She remembered. Not everything, not even a single thing – but there are bits and pieces from her feelings.

"I'm pretty sure you think I'm an idiot," she said after Remus didn't reply, still in deep silence. She grabbed her glass and emptied it. "I blame the firewhiskey. Usually I'm not so weird, I promise."

"Aren't you?" Remus smiled kindly, his voice weak.

"Well, maybe I am. But let's just blame the firewishkey."

The next few hours passed with talking and drinking. Elsie couldn't really tell why she was so open with this boy – usually, it took her months to open up to someone like this, but there was something in Remus that made her feel safe.

It was almost three in the morning when drowsiness started to overwhelm Elsie – her blinks were long and her eyelids heavy, and her head almost fell off a couple times. Remus chuckled, seeing her sleepy face. "Maybe you should go home and get some sleep."

She nodded slowly. "But you have to walk me home, remember?"

"I wouldn't let you to go alone," he said, slipping off of his chair and helping the girl up too; she needed to wrap a hand around him to stay on her legs. Sitting in one place for hours, they didn't realized how drunk they were.

"Okay, uh… I'll just say goodbye to James…" Remus started, looking around in the living room, but it was already empty except for Peter, who was dozing off on a couch, and another boy Elsie couldn't recognize sleeping on the floor.

"I think they are just warming up their new bedroom," she giggled. "Please let's pretend I haven't said anything and just goooo home."

They walked on the streets, talking in incoherent sentences mixed with a lot of giggles; their arms around each other as a support to keep themselves standing. They needed to stop several times to pee, to laugh, and once, when Elsie put on her sweater. Her flat was close to Lily's, but it still took them half an hour to get there. "Do you live far away?"

"I'd answer that, but I have no idea where am I," Remus said, his head on her shoulder, hands on her waist. She laughed and he pulled back, but suddenly he froze, his smile vanished. "Where did you get that sweater?"

Elsie growled and tried to remember back. "It's uh, my brother's. I guess. Why?"

Remus' heart leapt again. The firewhiskey made him forget about everything bad for a few hours, but now, nearly out of and due to nothing, everything suddenly came back again. His hands fell off of her and he took a small step back.

"Are you alright?" She asked with a concerned face.

He could only nod. "I should go home."

"You can stay here if you want. You aren't in the state to be wandering around," Elsie suggested with a giggle, not really realizing that something seriously bothered Remus.

"No. I really… need to go."

A disappointed sigh left her mouth. "Okay, then. But be careful," she murmured and tiptoed to press a kiss on his cheek. Remus closed his eyes and tried not melt too much in her touch, but feeling her soft lips against his skin made him weak.

"Good night, Elsie," he said, turning around so quickly that by the time she realized it, he had already disappeared in the dark.