This story has spoilers for Journal 3, and might have some minor spoilers for "Dipper's & Mabel's Guide to Mystery and Nonstop Fun!".

Chapter 1: Tourist Trapped

Ah, summer break. A time for leisure, recreation, and taking it easy.

…Unless you're me.

My name is Nathan. The two twins in the front are Dipper and Mabel. Now, you may be wondering why I'm on the back of a golf cart, with the Mystery Twins, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror.

Rest assured, there is a perfectly logical explanation.

Let's rewind. It all started earlier today. I was just going along through the day; just like any other. I had decided to ride my bike around the block; something rather unusual for me. I was starting to feel exhausted. And then, I found it. A strange, unusual looking object lying in the quarter-acre area of overgrown grass and trees. I got off my bike and went to take a look.

I picked it up and went back to my house, examining it. It appeared to be a strange device that looked like a miniature TV remote with only one button and a short antenna on the end. It was shaped so that when you hold it, it would fit nicely into your hand, like grabbing a door handle.

Curious, I pressed the button. I watched in complete shock as a strange energy shot from the antenna, stopping a few feet away, creating a round vertical disk that was swirling, and had a faint blue glow to it. Tentative, I reached out to touch it, only for my hand to go through. I pulled my hand out, and stuck my head in. What greeted me was something I never expected to see. I saw the Mystery Shack. I spotted Dipper leaving the shack, holding some signs, some nails, and a hammer, heading into the forest. He was wearing his old greenish hat with a star.

I was in the episode "Tourist Trapped".

It didn't make any sense, though. That episode takes place at the very beginning of the summer, and I was halfway through mine. It was July 8th, exactly one month after my sixteenth birthday. I went all the way through the portal—I just realized that's what it was—taking the portal remote with me. I pressed the button on it again, and the portal closed up and disappeared. I saw Mabel go out shortly after, heading into the woods as well. I put my remote in my pocket and followed them.

After a short while, I had reached the clearing where Dipper was reading the newly-acquired Journal #3. I had also managed to get there before Mabel. But just barely.

"HELLO!" Mabel shouted, startling Dipper. "What'cha reading? Some nerd thing?"

Nervous for no apparent reason, Dipper quickly hid it behind his back, even though he knew Mabel saw it already. "Uh, uh, it's nothing." He stammered.

"'Uh, uh, it's nothing.'" Mabel said, mimicking Dipper, then laughed. "Are you actually not going to show me?"

After considering, Dipper decided. "Let's go somewhere private."

They walked back to the shack, and I followed them, making sure to stay out of sight. I would later introduce myself, but now wasn't the best time. I also decided that I had to be careful not to tell them too much information when I met them; having watched all 40 episodes. I'd have to pretend I didn't know anything at first.

As they went into the shack, I hung back a bit, waiting for the perfect opportunity. I couldn't hear Dipper and Mabel's conversation, but I knew what they were saying; being a Gravity Falls fan. I then spotted a person in a concealing black hoodie with a couple of twigs in it. It was the gnomes pretending to be Norman. They walked up and rang the doorbell. I saw my chance.

I ran up to the door, making sure not to be noticed, and hid by the porch. It took a little while, but Mabel answered the door, though not before the doorbell was rung two more times.

After a short greeting, Mabel and "Norman" walked outside, not noticing me. They didn't close the door. I snuck in through the door to see Dipper heading up to the attic and Stan leaving the living room. I snuck up the stairs after Dipper and hid right by the doorway, waiting for a good time to introduce myself. I suddenly heard Dipper yell the word "zombie". I peeked in, seeing Soos fixing the lightbulb and Dipper peering out the window.

I tiptoed in. Dipper stared down at the open journal, pondering. "Is my sister really dating a zombie or am I just going nuts?"

I made sure to say something before Soos did. "Well, maybe. He sure does act like a zombie." For some reason…

Dipper and Soos turned around to see me. "Who the heck are you?" Dipper said, apparently alarmed.

"Sorry if I startled you. My name is Nathan." After a second, I decided I'd show my knowledge anyway. "And you're Dipper, aren't you?"

"What?! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!" Dipper said, understandably freaked out.

"Whoa!" Soos said, chuckling. "That is creepy."

"I can understand your concern. If someone I never met came up to me addressing me by name, I'd be pretty freaked out too." I said. "But don't worry—I'm on your side. Anyway, you'll need evidence so you won't appear crazy."

"Well, makes sense." Dipper said, surprisingly calm now. Then Stan called up to Soos, saying the portable outhouses were clogged.

"I am needed elsewhere." Soos said, backing out of the room.

Dipper immediately decided to leave to get some evidence. After a while, Mabel enters and begins brushing her hair, seeming to not notice me. I spoke up.

"Hi Mabel." I said calmly, still somehow startling her.

"Where did you come from?" Mabel said, much more calmly than Dipper had. "And how do you know my name?"

"It's a long story." I say simply. Right after I did, Dipper came in.

"Mabel, we have to talk about Norman." Dipper said. "Oh, hey Nathan." Dipper said, catching sight of me. "What are you still doing here?"

"I'm just here to help."

"Anyway, we must talk about Norman."

"Isn't he the best?" Mabel said, seeming to ignore me. "Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!"

"Ah!"

"Ha ha, gullible." Mabel chuclked. "It was just—"

"—An accident with the leaf blower." I finish. Dipper and Mabel slowly turn to look at me, shocked looks on their faces.

After a few seconds, Mabel confirmed it, seemingly unaffected by my knowledge. Dipper just sighed and continued on.

"Anyway, I'm trying to say that Norman is not what he seems." Dipper said.

"Do you think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!" Mabel said.

"Guess again, sister. Sha-bam!" Dipper said, opening the journal to the page with gnomes. Yup.

Mabel shrieked. Dipper saw, and changed the page to the zombie page. "Sha-bam!" Nope.

"A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper." Mabel said.

"I'm not joking! It all adds up. The bleeding, the limp… he never blinks! Have you noticed that?"

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking." Mabel said.

"Mabel, remember what the book says about Gravity Falls? 'Trust no one'!" Dipper tried.

"What about me, huh? Why can't you trust me?" Mabel said, putting on some star earrings. "Beep bop!"

"Mabel, he's gonna eat your brain!" Dipper yelled, shaking her. I just watched all this happen, not really sure what to say.

"Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at 5:00, and I'm gonna be adorable, and he's gonna be dreamy, and I am not going to let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!" Mabel said, pushing Dipper out of the room while he protested. Mabel then turns to look at me.

"I'll let myself out." I say, leaving the room. I see Dipper sigh, sitting down.

"What am I gonna do?" Dipper says to himself.

Before I knew it, it was 5:00. I was sitting next to Dipper, who was watching the evidence he had collected earlier. "You were right, Nathan. I don't have any real evidence." Dipper said. "I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes, and—" Dipper saw Norman's hand fall off, before he quickly put it back on. "Wait, WHAT?!"

"You were right, too. Sort of." I say.

"What do you mean, 'sort of'?" Dipper asked.

"You'll see."

"No time for that now, I have to go save Mabel!" Dipper panicked.

"Sure. I'll come too."

Dipper ran outside, calling for Stan. I follow, just walking quickly. Dipper was trying to get Stan's attention, but to no avail. I see Wendy drive up in the golf cart, and shortly after, so does Dipper. "Wendy! Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart to save my sister from a zombie!" Dipper said. Wendy just simply dropped the keys in his hands.

"Try not to hit any pedestrians." She says.

I jump into the golf cart with Dipper, putting on the seatbelt. Dipper floors the gas, but Soos stops us.

"This is for the zombie." Soos said, handing Dipper a shovel.

"Thanks."

"And this is in case you see a piñata." Soos continued, handing me a baseball bat.

"Uh… thanks?" Dipper said.

"Better safe than sorry!" Soos called out as Dipper drove the cart into the forest.

"Eh, a baseball bat can still be used as a weapon." I say.

"Yeah, I guess so." Dipper said.

"Anyway, you're only sort of right because Norman is actually a bunch of gnomes. Why they act like a zombie; I have no idea."

"Gnomes? What makes you think it's gnomes?" Dipper asked me.

"Because I have seen your entire summer." I say simply.

Suddenly, we heard Mabel calling out. "Dipper!"

"Explain later." Dipper said. "Don't worry, Mabel! We'll save you from those gnomes!"

"Help!" Mabel called out again.

"Hang on!"

As we got closer, we could see that the gnomes were trying to pin down Mabel, being told to do so by Jeff, the leader of the gnomes. They seemed not to notice our approach until Dipper spoke up, having stopped the cart and walked up behind Jeff. "What the heck is going on here?!" He exclaimed, before a gnome came up and hissed at him.

"Guys! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks!" Mabel said, before a gnome began pulling on her hair as she exclaimed in pain.

"Gnomes, huh? Nathan was right. That's kinda creepy." Dipper said to himself, pulling out the journal and opening it to the gnomes page. "'Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls forest. Weaknesses: unknown.'"

"Aw, come on!" Mabel said, having now been successfully tied down by the gnomes.

"Hey, hey! Let go of my sister!" Dipper said.

Jeff, finally seeming to have noticed we were here, turned around. "Oh! Ha ha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding." Jeff said, acting like they hadn't kidnapped Mabel and were trying to make her their queen. "You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all 1,000 of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?"

Of course, Mabel immediately denied it. "You guys are butt-faces!" Mabel said, before one of the gnomes covered her mouth.

"Give her back right now, or else!" Dipper said, holding his shovel pointed towards Jeff as I hold the baseball bat like I'm about to hit a ball with it.

The gnome leader immediately dropped his friendly demeanor. "You think you can stop us, boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the—"

Jeff is interrupted mid-sentence as Dipper shovels him up and tosses him over to me, where I swing the bat at him, sending him soaring about 30 feet away. "Home run." I say. Dipper runs over to Mabel, using the shovel to cut the ropes as I use the bat to scatter the gnomes, and we all run back to the cart. Seeing as there wasn't enough room for all three of us, I just climbed onto the back, standing on the bumper, and hung on to the sides. The twins looked at me, and before they say anything, I told them I'd be able to hold on.

Deciding not to question it, Dipper steps on the gas, and the cart races off.

"Hurry! Before they come after us!" Mabel said.

"I wouldn't worry about it." Dipper told her. "See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!"

"Tiny, they are. But they have another method of moving around, which also acts as a method of attack." I said. Right on cue, the ground started shaking, causing Dipper to step on the brakes.

"Dang." Mabel said. The gnomes—stacked up into a giant gnome—came over the horizon. The giant gnome growled, somehow able to do so even though it was made entirely of gnomes, and Dipper floored it. My grip wavered a little, but I managed to hold on. The giant gnome's fist came crashing down where we just were, which shattered into the various gnomes that made it up, which hurriedly scrambled back into place before the giant gnome continued chasing us.

"Come back with our queen!" Jeff said, as the giant gnome grew closer.

"It's getting closer!" Mabel said. As I looked behind me again, the giant gnome threw several gnomes at the cart, and they all cause havoc for us. One of them almost made me fall off. One of the gnomes, Shmebulock, jumps up behind Dipper, though he just grabs him and slams him into the wheel a few times, before tossing him off. Another gnome jumps at Dipper's face and starts clawing at it.

"I'll save you, Dipper!" Mabel said, punching the gnome about eight times before it finally falls off, taking Dipper's old hat with him.

"Thanks, Mabel…" Dipper said, before he noticed that his hat was gone.

"Don't mention it."

The giant gnome picks up a tree, throwing it ahead of the cart, before it lands in the path, and Dipper swerves around it, almost making me lose my grip. As we approach the Mystery Shack, I jump off of the cart just before it tips over, and Dipper and Mabel crawl out, slightly dazed from the wreck. The gnomes get closer, and Dipper tells them to stay away and throws the shovel at the giant gnome, which punches it in mid air.

"Where's Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asks. He's inside showing tourists 'The World's Most Distracting Object'. I run up behind the giant gnome and throw the bat at it, though unfortunately, I miss. Of course. I run up and join the twins.

"It's the end of the line, kids!" Jeff says. "Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!"

"You've already done something crazy: stacking yourselves up into a giant gnome." I say.

"Okay, fine." Jeff said. "Mabel, marry us before we do something even crazier than this!"

"There's gotta be a way out of this." Dipper said, beginning to pull out the journal.

"I gotta do it." Mabel said, much to Dipper's surprise.

"What?! Mabel, don't do this! Are you crazy?"

"Dipper, relax." I say, before leaning to whisper in his ear. "She has a plan. You'll see."

Dipper looks between the giant gnome and Mabel, before backing off with his hands raised. I also move out of the way.

"All right, Jeff. I'll marry you." Mabel said. Jeff immediately gets excited, and climbs down the giant gnome and up to Mabel, and puts a ring around her finger.

"Now let's get you into the forest, honey." Jeff said, as he begins heading back.

"You may now kiss the bride." Mabel said. Jeff stopped, turned around, and walked back over to Mabel. Jeff readies himself for a kiss, but instead was met with a leaf blower. Mabel sucked up a surprised Jeff.

"That's for lying to me!" Mabel said, then increased the power. "That's for breaking my heart!"

"Ow! My face!"

"And this is for messing with my brother!" Mabel said. "Wanna do the honors?" Mabel asked Dipper, holding it out to him.

"On 3!" Dipper said. Dipper, Mabel and I then all start counting together. "1… 2… 3!" Dipper shot Jeff into the giant gnome, causing it to fall apart into the gnomes that comprised it as Jeff yells out that he'll get back at us. Mabel waves the leaf blower back and forth, scaring off the rest of the gnomes. Mabel apologized to Dipper for ignoring his advice, to which he says that she was the one to save us. Mabel expresses disappointment about Norman being a bunch of gnomes, and the twins do their "awkward sibling hug".

We all head inside, where Stan is counting his money. "Yeesh, did you get hit by a bus or something?" Stan says. We all just begin to walk away. "Uh, hey! W-wouldn't you know it, um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh… how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, you know?" Stan offers.

"Really?" Mabel said.

"What's the catch?" Dipper said, slightly skeptical.

"The catch is do it before I change my mind. Now take something." Stan told us.

Dipper picked his signature blue pine tree hat, Mabel chose the grappling hook, and I picked out an icecream sandwich. When Mabel chose the grappling hook, Stan was slightly confused.

"Wouldn't she rather have, like, a doll or something?" Stan asked Dipper.

Mabel just shot the grappling hook to the ceiling, and it pulled her up with it. "Grappling hook!"

"Fair enough." Stan said.

It was at this point that I decided to go back to my dimension. I told them I was leaving now. I rushed outside, and, before anyone could follow, I pulled the remote out of my pocket and opened the portal. I went back through to my dimension and closed the portal. After my crazy adventure, I decided I needed to write it down, so I opened my computer and began typing, and I decided I would upload it to the internet.

And now that you've read this story, you should know I will continue to go on adventures in Gravity Falls, and I will be recording my experience there, as well. But for now, I'm going to put the portal remote in a hidden area where my family won't find it, and prepare for my next adventure.