A/N: Hey guys, I'm back with a short one-shot! I kind of went ghost for the past few months, huh? I had to take a break from fanfiction and fandom in general, since I didn't have as much time between school and stuff. I'll be spending the next few days caching up on some of the great fics and updates I missed. I did keep up with episodes though. To be honest, I'm kind of disappointed with a few of the more recent ones. But I'm still hoping it will get better by the end of the season and then be good through season four. And the movie! I am so excited for the movie. It better be good.
Anyway, I present to you guys my latest piece. No pairings, just general squad fluff. I wrote it over the course of a couple hours and barely edited and it probably has some plot holes and grammatical errors, but I present it to you anyway.
Disclaimer~ I don't own Henry Danger.
This was probably the worst situation they had ever found themselves in. And because he's always been a pretty straightforward person, Henry said so.
"This has got to be the worst situation we ever found ourselves in."
Ray snorted. "And I thought Jeff was the worst villain we'd ever have to face."
"What about the Spoiler? He was pretty annoying."
"Jeff's even more annoying."
"Well..." Henry thought about it. Normally he'd rub his chin as well, but his hands were a little tied up. Literally tied up. Just one way this day sucked. "The Spoiler was a nineteen year old who was taken down by my little sister, and Jeff is an annoying petty man in his thirties who just doesn't know when to quit-"
"Like a cockroach that just won't die-"
Henry tugged his arms, hard.
"Ow!" Ray yelped from behind him.
Oh yeah, another way this was turning out to be on the list of his top three least favorite days since he got this job (number one being the day he realized his sister had a crush on his alter ego, because there was no way to make that right) - he was tied to his boss, back to back and sitting on the floor, elbows linked so that they couldn't escape their restraints. And Ray was as whiny as they came whenever something went wrong. It didn't help that they weren't even in uniform. Nope, they had been captured while on their way back from fighting crime, and since they had decided to stop to pick up some Chinese food and Ray's wallet was in his jeans and not his Captain pants, they had transformed back.
"Kid, would you stop that?" Ray said as Henry fruitlessly continued pulling on the rope. "It didn't work the last thirty times, it's not gonna work now!"
"That's what you get for interrupting me." Henry rolled his eyes. It's not like Ray could be hurt anyway.
"Don't you roll your eyes at me!"
"You can't even see me!" Henry snapped back. "Not only is it pitch dark, but we're not even facing each other!"
Suddenly, the sound of heavy footsteps echoed throughout the room, making it difficult to tell the source. The lights flickered on all at once, illuminating the...grocery store? Henry blinked his eyes, sure that he was still adjusting to being thrust into the brightness of the room, but once he could keep his eyes open for more than two seconds, he was sure of it. They were in a grocery store.
Now this was unusual. Most criminals had abandoned warehouses or abandoned hospitals or abandoned clock towers as their hideouts. They liked abandoned places. But a grocery store, one that was clearly not abandoned judging by the fresh fruit on the stands? One that was pretty big, a chain grocery store that pretty much everyone in Swellview knew? One that would probably open in a few hours, letting people in?
"Sorry," a deep voice said.
Henry whipped his head up to look at their captor as he neared. He remembered the man had approached them as they were on their way back to Junk 'N' Stuff, and that was near midnight. He had briefly introduced himself, apologized, and then sprayed Henry in the face with something before he could react. Next thing he knew, he was waking up here. Ray had probably pretended to pass out when he was sprayed as well to not reveal his indestructibility, a dead giveaway to the fact he was Captain Man. According to Ray, they had been here for approximately two hours, making it almost two in the morning. And to be honest, both he and Ray were utterly annoyed by this guy.
They had faced other villains, criminals, and strange characters in their day. Yet, this one was the one that Henry and Ray were most frustrated by. Of all the people in Swellview to kidnap, the guy had somehow luckily stumbled upon the two that couldn't fight back without some serious secrets being exposed. Sure, they could fight now and then follow it with a memory wipe, but they didn't have the device with them, and they tried to avoid that option whenever possible. Yet, there was also the fact that this situation had alarm bells ringing from the start. When he first woke up, he and Ray had quietly discussed the sword dangling over their heads. What if it wasn't a mere coincidence the guy found them? What if he knew?
Henry looked him over. He hadn't gotten a good look before, with the whole passing out thing, but now that he did, he decided the guy was kind of handsome, in a rugged sort of way. The guy wasn't particularly tall, but he wasn't short either. He had lightly tanned skin, grey eyes, copper facial hair in a thick scruff, and silky ginger hair on top of his head. Almost ironically, his head had a halo surrounding it from the lights behind him. In his dark jeans and black overcoat, Henry would have considered him intimidating if carrot top hadn't been his initial thought on first glance.
"Didn't mean to leave you in the dark, but I had to find the power box in this place," the guy continued.
"Didn't you consider knowing the place before you decided to make it your hideout?" Henry incredulously asked.
"Hey!" The guy huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Rent's a lot, and I can't just bring hostages back to my apartment since I'd have to tell the landlord about extra occupants. And even if I lied, she'd know. She always knows." He shuddered.
"Well, crime doesn't pay," Ray seemed completely confused as to where this conversation was going, and to be honest, so was Henry. "Still, why a grocery store? Everyone, and I mean everyone in Swellview knows where this place is. And the manager will probably be here soon to open up. Why not get an abandoned warehouse or something? No rent."
The guy shrugged. "All the decent ones are taken. Besides, today's Jasper Dunlop Day, so this place will be closed. I'll be done with you two by tomorrow morning.."
Oh, this guy was good.
"Jasperrrrr," Ray groaned, throwing his head back (and knocking into Henry's, not that Ray noticed). "How is it possible that your friend isn't even here and he's still ruining my life?"
"Don't be overdramatic," Henry pushed at Ray's back with his own until the man lifted his head. "It's not his fault."
Still, privately, Henry was slightly pissed. A thought from last year ran through his head verbatim - Just had to be the big hero, huh, Jasp? Although, this time, to be fair, it wasn't because he was jealous.
"Wait, you're friends with Jasper Dunlop?" the guy asked excitedly, bringing their attention back to him. "After this is done, can you get a pic of us?" At Henry's glare, his excitement faltered. "Okay, maybe not."
An awkward silence persisted between the two sides for a couple moments. That is, until Ray cut in.
"Who even are you?" Ray demanded. "What do you want from us?!"
And finally, it seemed they were getting to the real questions. It didn't really matter who the guy was, Henry thought, but a name to attach to the face would be nice, so he wouldn't just have to mentally refer to him as the guy. But the motive, now that was important. Again, the thought pressed down on both Henry and Ray, the suspense suffocating them as they waited for the moment of truth: did he know?
"My name's Miles." Miles crouched down leaning in to whisper the next part. "As for what I want? I want Captain Man and Kid Danger."
Oh shit.
For a second, blind panic entered his system. Henry bit down on his bottom lip to keep from saying anything. Behind him, he heard a rush of air as Ray sharply inhaled. Miles blinked at their reactions, and then smirked.
"I know you know who they are," Miles continued. "Tell me, and I'll let you go."
What.
Henry blinked.
And then he blinked again.
Almost simultaneously, he and Ray burst into laughter.
"You think-" Ray stopped mid-sentence to laugh even more. "You think we know who Captain Man and Kid Danger are? HAHAHAHAHA, HENRY, DID YA HEAR THAT? HE THINKS WE KNOW WHO CAPTAIN MAN AND KID DANGER ARE!"
He and Henry continued to laugh, nervousness ebbing into giddy relief from knowing their secret was safe. It was still an unfortunate situation to be in, but not the absolute worst as Henry had first presumed.
Henry looked back up at Miles. Instead of being thrown off, though, he seemed completely unaffected by their little outburst. Instead, he was checking his watch in boredom.
"Are you done with your little act?" he said.
"Why would we know them? They're Swellview's heroes, and we work in a junk shop," Henry said. "Besides, even if we did, we wouldn't tell you. You're clearly a bad guy."
"Bad, good, all just fronts," Miles said, waving his hand dismissively. "I'm just someone who wants the truth. No lies, no falsehoods, and no masks." He sneered the last word. "If Captain Man and Kid Danger are really good, then they'll have no problem showing their faces, proving they're really heroes worth loving, and not just scumbags who thrive off the attention they would never get if they weren't anonymous."
Miles stood up, satisfied to have stunned Henry and Ray into silence.
"I know Captain Man and Kid Danger have their hideout below the junk shop. I've seen them enter the place once. It was so late, I bet they thought no one was around. And I know about the tube system. Putting one end in a random alley where literally anyone could walk in and poke around? Not smart. I just had to pay off a few hobos to figure that one out. And looking at a few city diagrams of underground pipe routes makes it easy to find the inconsistencies and figure out that the end of your tube system leads to under Junk 'N' Stuff." Miles cocked his head, smirking once more. He had them right where he wanted them. "Well, back to my point. You guys work there, so obviously, you know them. You don't want to tell me? Fine. Captain Man and Kid Danger will come to save you, like they always do, and I'll be ready to demand answers in exchange for your safety."
He turned around and exited briskly, his long coat fluttering behind him.
Henry swallowed, waiting to make sure Miles was out of earshot, wherever he was in the large store. "Wow."
Ray let out a low whistle. "It's weird how normal he is, right?" He snorted when he got nothing but contemplative silence in return, and continued, "I mean, it's still kind of hilarious. He got so far, but at the same time is so...off."
"So what now?" Henry asked. "I mean, Captain Man and Kid Danger are hardly going to come for us."
"Schwoz might."
"Would he? Would he really?"
"Nope," Ray dejectedly replied "All we can do is wait a couple days, and when the manager inevitably comes, get him to call for help."
Henry nodded even though Ray couldn't see, and tried to get comfortable. They would be here for a while.
"Henry?"
"Yeah?"
"I have to pee."
"Why do you never go before we leave?!"
"Where are your friends?!" Miles demanded storming in. "It's been six hours since I posted online that I have you. They should have attempted contact by now!"
"We already told you, we're not friends with Captain Man and Kid Danger," Ray calmly replied. "I can assure you, they're not coming,"
"Fine, let's say you're right," Miles nodded mock sympathetically. "But that just goes to prove my point. They're not righteous. Even if you're not their friends, real heroes, good heroes would still try to save you."
Henry grit his teeth. Before he could say anything about Miles not knowing what it even means to be good, he was interrupted by a crash.
"OUCH!"
Henry cocked his head to look behind Miles, who whirled around. There, on the ground, surrounded in debris, was...Captain Man?!
"Huh?!" Ray sounded just as confused as Henry felt.
The figure lifted his head up weakly to reveal a mop of curly sandy hair.
"Jasper?!" Henry hissed. The responding groan convinced Henry that it was his friend right there, wearing the Captain Man uniform.
"Oh, brother." Ray threw his head back, once again knocking into Henry.
"I'm okay," Jasper as Captain Man weakly groaned, before dropping his face back to the floor.
"Captain Man," Miles welcomed. Luckily, he seemed to have not heard Henry revealing his friend's identity underneath the mask. Nor seemed to notice that Captain Man was very much in pain and obviously not Captain Man.
Right above Jasper, a rope came down from a hole in the ceiling, and another figure sleekly slid down. Henry stared dumbfounded at the dark-skinned, clearly female figure jumped down almost perfectly, wobbling only a bit. Charlotte's hair was tied up high on her head, and Henry had to admit that his suit looked pretty good on her, if not loose and baggy compared to last time. The pant legs were rolled up, and the vest extended past the belt. She wasn't even wearing his boots, instead pairing the suit with her pink Doc Martens. Seriously, there was no way she could pass for-
"And Kid Danger!" Miles finished, bowing in mock welcome.
If his hands were free, Henry would definitely have face palmed.
Charlotte as Kid Danger rolled her eyes and leaned down, pulling up Jasper and mumbling under her breath. Now that he was standing, Henry could see that the Captain Man suit fitted Jasper pretty well, but it was definitely loose on the shoulders and a bit around the thighs. Jasper finally righted himself, and then put his hands on his hips.
"You wanted us, well now you got us. CAPTAIN MAN AND KID DANGER TO THE RESCUE!" Jasper shouted.
Charlotte took in a deep breath and exhaled, as if she were on the end of her rope. "Boy, I told you on the way here, and I'll say it again. They never say that. They've never said it, and they never will."
"What?" Miles looked confused.
"Nothing." Charlotte sweetly smiled.
Before running and tackling him.
"Wait, what, I don't even get to make my demand-?!" Miles started to say, only to be cut off by a punch to his face.
"Sorry, but monologues are a waste of time," Charlotte grunted, right as Miles grabbed her by the shoulders and rolled over so he was on top.
"Hey, wait for me!" Jasper said, before jumping into the fray, pulling Miles to his feet and off Charlotte by the man's collar.
Back at where Henry and Ray were tied up on the floor, neither of them said anything as they watched the scene unfold in front of them.
Finally, Ray managed to get his jaw off the floor. "Kid, close your mouth."
"Speak for yourself," Henry replied. He was fully content to sit there with his mouth open as he watched his best friends take down their captor. "Be careful?" he weakly called out, knowing full well that he would be ignored.
"To who?" Ray muttered, as Charlotte kicked Miles in the solar plexus.
Charlotte was clearly taking charge in the fight, yelling insults between punches and kicks. Jasper got in a few hits as well. Not to say that Miles wasn't a good fighter. He fought back equally hard, returning every punch. It seemed like the fight wouldn't get anywhere until one side simply tired.
That is, until Jasper pushed Miles to the produce section. As he did, Charlotte reached onto a rack with the pre-made salads and retrieved a package. Ripping open the plastic container, she looked down, and smiled almost evilly upon clearly finding what she was looking for.
She pulled out a perfectly sliced lemon.
"I am never pissing her off again," Henry vowed while Miles screamed in agony at have the lemon squirted into his eyes.
"Good plan," Ray agreed.
While he was blinded, Jasper turned around and grabbed at the Granny Smith apples nearby, throwing them one after another at Miles. Most, if not all, definitely hit their mark, and as the rest of the apples of the pyramid toppled down from having the ones in the center plucked out, Charlotte kicked them over so Miles ungracefully tripped over them and landed on the floor.
"Is it bad that their teamwork is almost better than ours?" Henry asked, narrowing his eyes as the realization sunk in.
"Who are we kidding, kid?" Ray replied. "It is better."
Charlotte slowly walked over to the pastries while Miles struggled to get up, clearly enjoying every second of her moment in the spotlight. But she was also clearly winded, if the audible rush of her breathing and the few curls that had become loose from the tie were anything to go by. It seemed Jasper was as well, as he was bent over, hands on his knees. They were clearly ready to finish this.
She returned in seconds with a cake in her hand, and a chain of sausage links around her neck she had picked up on the way. She grabbed Miles by the hair, and shoved the cake in his face, letting it fall away to reveal his red velvet and white frosting smeared face.
"Enjoy your just desserts," Charlotte smirked.
Henry would be lying if he said he wasn't proud of her for that quip.
Miles groaned as he acquiesced defeat, slumping over. He never even had a chance.
As Jasper ran over to help Charlotte tie up the criminal with the sausage links, Henry couldn't help but let out a huff in amusement. This wasn't the worst situation he had ever been in since becoming a sidekick, but it was possibly up there as one of the most absurd.
It seemed Jasper had finally found the handcuffs in his back pocket, as the duo abandoned the sausage links and cuffed Miles to the racks. They then ran over to Henry and Ray where they were still tied up on the floor.
"Are you guys okay?" Jasper asked.
"What was that?!" Ray demanded at the same time.
"Chill, we just saved you." Charlotte smirked, the adrenaline flushing her cheeks.
Ray rolled his eyes, pointedly ignoring what she had just said. He was a superhero; he wasn't particularly used to being saved. "Please tell me one of you called the police."
"I'm not allowed to call the police," Charlotte replied. When she got strange looks from the two on the floor, she shrugged. "When you guys got stuck in Beta Maximus with Jeff and I called, I got told off for prank calling."
"Jasper?" Ray turned to the boy.
"I've been arrested far too many times," Jasper said, his head dropping in shame.
"Ugh, do I have to do everything myself?!" Ray muttered. "Well, make sure to get out of our clothes before they get here. And Charlotte, please tell me you brought the memory wiper. We need to make that guy forget everything."
"Yeah, got it right-"
"Wait, before you do any of that," Henry cut in. "UNTIE US."
"Oh, right!" Charlotte apologetically smiled.
She and Jasper kneeled down, each to one side of Henry and Ray as they pulled out lasers and cut through the ropes. Finally, the two were loose and able to get up. Unlinking their arms, they stretched, relieving the stiffness that had set in.
"Thanks, guys," Henry said, rolling his head. He looked at Ray expectantly.
Ray mumbled something under his breath.
"What was that?" A smile played on Jasper's lips. "Didn't quite catch that."
Ray grumbled as Henry elbowed him in the gut. "Yeah, thanks," he finally huffed.
Henry shook his head in amusement at his boss's antics before turning to his best friends. "Seriously though, for a while there we were pretty sure no one would save us. I mean, we're the superheroes, we do the saving."
Jasper and Charlotte looked at each other and shared twin smiles. Jasper clapped Henry on the back as he looked up, and Charlotte hooked her arm with his.
"You guys worry about saving Swellview…" Charlotte started.
"And we'll worry about saving you," Jasper finished.
Well, that had been unexpected. Henry blinked, suddenly overwhelmed by the rush of affection he felt for his friends. He smiled, wrapping an arm around each of their shoulders despite his protesting muscles and squeezing them both against his chest.
"I honestly love you guys," he said, muffling his voice somewhere between them as they hugged.
Distantly, someone cleared their throat.
Charlotte popped her head up and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, get in here, Ray."
"You kids really are something else," Ray said as he wrapped them up in his arms. "But seriously, be more careful, I'm only paying Henry minimum wage to risk his life on the daily."
A/N: Well, there you have it. I hope you guys enjoyed. Thanks for reading! Please follow, favorite, and review.