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If there was one thing Maru knew about romance, it was that it was painful. Sometimes there was a magical, mutual connection between others, linking them together and bringing a happiness neither expected into their lives. Other times, the magic only went one way. Someone would find themselves hopelessly entranced by another, afflicted by a spell of longing. It was a hex, really. Countless of Maru's fictional heroes and heroines had experienced the joy and pain of romance.

It was so much different to experience the spell in real life.

Maru's heart thumped without give as she watched Dia tear books upon books about economic theory off the shelves. Dia was all the way on the other side of the library, as that was where the stacks she needed for her assignment were. Maru had directed her to them only a short time before.

This had been happening every few days for the past month. Insisting that she needed to teach herself the past and present of worldwide economy to prepare for her eventual inheritance of the family business, Dia had been reading about it as much as possible. Naturally, one of the best places to go for this was the library.

Seeing Dia in so often was both a blessing and a curse for Maru.

Joining Aqours and being in a subunit together had done little to stifle Maru's feelings for Dia; the opposite was the case. Seeing someone you liked more than often than usual did that to someone, she supposed. Every time Dia spoke towards her in a friendly manner or needed her help, it was like Maru was on the verge of eruption; Maru's admiration, long-dormant feelings, and heart threatened to burst into the open.

Dia grinned as she dropped an armful of books on a table. She looked at Maru and nodded, then sat down and began to read.

The mere sight of Dia surrounded by books was enough to send Maru into overdrive. She wished that she could muster up the courage to move over and stand by Dia's side during these situations, to help her find only the best research books, and perhaps - just perhaps - convince her to read one of Maru's favourite novels.

Even so, Dia's attitude towards books troubled her. Specifically, Dia's attitude towards Maru's books.

Though Maru had brought up the idea of sharing her books with Dia in the past, there never seemed to be any progress happening. Whenever Maru asked if Dia had ever gotten around to reading any of her suggestions, the response was usually along the lines of "I'm too busy right now" or "I'll read it eventually". Yet, it seemed that Dia always had time to read her own books. Ruby had once said that she had passed Dia's room, only to see Maru's copy of Wagahai wa Neko de Aru covered in dust. In fact, Dia seemed to barely give Maru the time of day outside of Aqours practice and the occasional homework help (and only if she went home with Ruby after school).

It seemed like every attempt to get Dia's attention, unless it was necessary, was a struggle. This made each and every interaction more precious to Maru. It also made it all the more painful.

Dia's eyes remained completely focused on the book in front of her. How did she do it? Her intense devotion to anything and everything important to her made Maru desire her feelings even more. Just once, Maru wanted those eyes to gaze up and steal a glance at her. She so desperately wanted Dia to look at her, to tell her she was beautiful and smart and someone worthwhile to love. Maru knew Dia well enough to know that she often concealed good intentions beneath her angry stares. But no, usually Dia's glances said things like "What do you need?" or "Pay attention!" or "Stop that!" when they were directed at her. They were looks of disappointment, frustration.

Her steadfast focus, sense of responsibility, and overall maturity was so different from Maru. It was so desirable. So...unattainable.

Dia had never dated anyone before, that Maru knew. One couldn't be practically joined at the hip with Ruby Kurosawa without hearing things about the older Kurosawa sister in the process, after all. Ruby had told Maru things about Dia that made her heart ache, such as how she was often overwhelmed by her responsibilities, or how she would often hide herself when she got too stressed. When she thought of this, Maru wanted to hug Dia. She wanted to snuggle up to her, tell her that everything would be alright, and reassure her that she was loved and always would be.

All the same, those hard eyes with their underlying kindness were not meant for someone frumpy like Maru. They were meant for older, properly mature girls. Maybe they weren't even meant for girls at all.

Part of her was hopeful that Dia might secretly like her back. Maru hadn't read many romance novels, but she knew that a commoner and a member of royalty falling in love was a fairly common trope. So what if Dia wasn't an actual member of royalty? She was rich and prestigious enough to play the part. Dia could be the perfect princess who fell in love with her ragged servant. Maru's heart beat faster at the thought of having a bookish romance like her beloved protagonists, even if most of these protagonists were men.

Then again, most literary women who ended up successful in love were not voracious eaters, did not constantly fall asleep while reading, nor outdated country girls. And the ones that were? Well, Maru still wasn't like them. It was simply the truth.

Perhaps she WAS in her own literary romance, albeit one that inevitably ended in heartbreak.

Something warm hit Maru's hand. It was then that she realised her eyes were moist and her cheeks were wet. Tears continued to roll down Maru's face. If there was any time at all that she didn't want Dia to look at her face, it would be right now.

Dia approached Maru's desk, carrying several books in her arms.

Maru suddenly felt like crying harder. Resisting as much as possible, she quickly wiped her eyes and forced a smile.

Placing the books on the desk, Dia took out her library card. "I'd like to take these out, please."

"Okay! Let's do it, zura!" said Maru, scanning each of the books and passing them back to Dia.

Dia suddenly leaned in a little closer. "Hanamaru-san…have you been crying?"

Was she really that obvious? The proximity of Dia's face to hers made the blood rush to Maru's cheeks. "Um, m-maybe a little, zura…"

Dia moved back. She pulled a tissue out of her pocket and held it out to Maru. "Here. Wipe up."

Maru reached for the tissue. In the process, her hand rubbed against Dia's. She breathed sharply; the skin on skin contact made her face even hotter, as if she were melting into a puddle of Maru goo. Her heart yearned to keep her hand where it was, to hold it like that until Maru inevitably dozed off from comfort, the comfort of Dia's surprisingly soft touch…

"Hanamaru-san? Are you going to take the tissue or not?"

Snapping back to reality, Maru took the tissue. She squeezed it in her hand.

Dia raised an eyebrow. "…Are you feeling alright? First your eyes were extremely red, and now your entire face is. Maybe you should take some time off today."

The concern in Dia's voice made Maru's heart flutter. "N-No, I'm fine, zura! Maru just has a little hay fever, see?" She pretended to sneeze.

Shaking her head, Dia picked her books up. "Try harder next time. A fake cough is a bit more convincing than a fake sneeze."

"O-Oh…" Maru raised the tissue and blew into it. She dabbed the tears away from her face. "Thanks for the tissue, zura…"

"You're welcome. Thanks for signing my books out," said Dia. Turning away, she headed for the exit. "Feel better soon."

As the door closed behind Dia, Maru sighed. Nobody else was in the library, leaving Maru alone.

Brief interactions like that outside of the times she and Dia typically met always left Maru in shambles. Her body ached to be held in a warm embrace. She wanted Dia to stay and comfort her. She wanted to lay her head on Dia's lap and have her hair stroked.

She wanted Dia.

If only Maru could cast a spell back. Then, maybe, the romance wouldn't hurt as bad as it did.

Maru shook, letting her tears flow freely.