Kei was never one to touch. Before everything got crazy, the only thing on his mind was the path to becoming a great human being of society. That, and becoming a doctor to find a cure for his sister.
He gave up a lot. A lot of things he loved, nothing that he hated. His best and only friend Kai, his sister's admiration, and all of his free time went to studying. He was never one to make friends on his own, Kai had only ever been there because he was a loner.
Things changed.
Everything went down the drain, shit hit the fan, and now everything's a mess. He should've been alone, really. The fact that Kai had come for him after everything that had happened, was stupid on his part. However, it was a godsend for Kei.
Kei really doesn't know what he would've done without his best friend, his only friend. He probably would've been detained by the police, and then tortured like the last Ajin in custody. Just the thought sent a shiver down his spine and brought anxiety so heavy that it crushed him.
Instead he had the pleasure of spending the night in the mountains; the cabin they accommodated was old, abandoned, and long since run down. Kei spends his time sitting in the corner, knees digging into his armpits and hands folded tightly together in front of his shins.
This whole thing was wrong. Why did all of this happen to him? Why was his peaceful life as a student ripped away from him? He burrows his head into his knees a bit deeper, trying to contain whatever it is he might be feeling right now.
Perhaps it's pain.
The white hot, ripping pain that burned through his body as that truck crashed into him. The way his blood had pooled around his body, and even the shock of what it felt like to come back. To live again after being crushed like that.
It could be fear.
The fear of it happening again. The fear of something worse occurring, like if he were to be captured and tortured without mercy. He wasn't human anymore, and therefore they didn't care. They never cared about him before anyway. No, never him. He survived on his own then, and he would do it again here.
It fells like a lie he's telling himself over and over and over again, like a mantra. It's not helping; his breath catches in his throat and his fingers bury into the back of his neck. The tears don't, won't stop.
There are footsteps just outside the door; Kai's back. He rubs his face furiously until his eyes are a puffy pink, but it's dark. He shouldn't notice.
Surly enough, Kai comes through. Dropping his bag onto the floor and throwing Kei a toothbrush that he had requested earlier, and then drops onto the floor like a dead weight.
"Let's take shifts. Do you mind if I go first?"
Good. That should keep him out of Kei's hair for awhile, or so he thinks until he speaks up and his voice squeaks. "Y-yeah. Go ahead."
Kai rolls over. Eyes narrowed at his best friend for a long minute before he gets up again, Kei scoots further away. "What's wrong?"
Kei tries to shrink back as the tips of Kai's fingers graze his cheek, but his body decides it wants the opposite. He leans into the touch. "Nothing. I'm fine. Go to sleep."
"I can't go to sleep if you're not okay, Kei."
Bright red eyes shift away, looking anywhere but Kai's golden brown orbs. Kai catches him anyway. "You're not alone anymore, Kei. I'm here, and there's no way in hell that I'm leaving you. Ever. Okay?"
Kei nods. Kai grabs his arm without warning, pulling the smaller boy into an embrace he can't fight to get out of. Rather, he doesn't even try. With a pair of strong arms wrapped around him, and his head pressed against Kai's beating heart, Kei feels safe.
He feels safe.
His nerves calm; he's not so twitchy anymore. "I'm scared."
Kai's grip on his friend tightens, almost reassuringly. "Why? We're safe right now. You're okay right now."
Against Kai's chest, Kei shakes his head. No, it's not that easy. Why couldn't Kai understand that he's risking his life here? It didn't matter if Kei died, but if something happened to Kai... "I'm scared for you, Kai. You're a human!"
"You're human too!"
Why must he be so stubborn? "If I die, I come back to life. No matter what. Even if I'm killed over and over again, I'll be back. If you die, you won't come back."
Kai hesitates, almost as if he hadn't thought about it before. Kei hides his face in Kai's neck; how could he just put his life on the line like that? How could he just abandon everything at a moments notice?!
"If that's so them I'm scared to, for you, Kei. When they tried to take you when you went to use the bathroom, and even when you broke your leg after the motorcycle accident." He pauses, breathing deeply as he puts his chin atop black locks. "When you slit your throat... I was scared too."
It's different. It's different! "It's different!"
"Yeah! It's different! I need to watch you die and kill yourself and suffer, over and over again!"
Kei's never thought about it that way. He falls silent, head tilted downwards guiltily. "Sorry."
"It's okay... Let's just do our best together, alright?"
Kai holds Kei for the majority of the night; his arms slacken as he sleeps, but Kei doesn't follow.
He leaves that night.
Kai wakes alone.