Beigedecore: Hey there~! This is my first fanfiction, and I hope you don't judge too harshly for the first few chapters~ Thanks~!

Naru: Asking them to go easy on you is unintelligent. You can't make your story better if there isn't any criticism of it.

Beigedecore: Shut your mouth. I didn't ask you, did I? *slightly annoyed look*

Naru: Someone should contain your stupidity.

Beigedecore: Shut it, or I'll pair Mai-chan and Yasuhara-chan up. :|

Naru: The majority of the readers would not be satisfied with that.

Beigedecore: I'll put you in a pink tutu! Got anything to say now?

Naru: *small tick on back of head* …

Yakunan: What Beigedecore-san neglected to say is that Ouran High School and Ghost do not belong to her.

Hani: Hello~! *holding Usa-chan*

Beigedecore: I'll talk with you next time, Hani-chan and Yakunan-chan, 'cause the story needs attention, 'kay~? Anyway, onwards we sail~!

Meet the... Does this say 'Host Club'?

The tick that was on Yakunan's forehead pulsed a little harder when she closed the door sharply to the last library in the school. It had only been slightly quieter than the other three, which were crowded with students as if they were holding huge parties. They had all been chatting to each other, and only a couple were actually doing work. 'Or trying to do work…' she thought, remembering the boy who had been glaring at a particularly loud group of girls in front of him.

She likened it to being at the SPR office when the other members insisted on throwing an office party, but one thousand times worse. It was a mystery to her at that point how she managed to keep her calm, but she supposed it was from having to handle her co-workers for two years.

Naru had left Japan for England, of course, and he wasn't likely to come back. Meanwhile, Yakunan's university insisted on her going to the school (which she was currently wandering through) for a year, and to hand in an analysis of seven students. To her chagrine, she had been told to analyse their disposition and how long it would take them for their spirits to become corrupt if they were spontaneously left to linger for no reason. She was averse to the idea of socialising.

It would be an understatement to say that Yakunan had not been pleased.

- Flashback –

"Himakocha-san!" the harried lecturer shouted to the retreating back of his student. The student in question, who looked so androgeneous that the lecturer sometimes got a headache, turned around suddenly to see him waving him/her down. He/she exhaled in annoyance.

"What is it?"

"The Dean wants you to go to his office…" the lecturer trailed off awkwardly, seeing his/her annoyed expression.

The student, Yakunan, spoke then. "You could have told me in class."

He nodded a few times, feeling dwarfed by the student's presence. 'As does pretty much everyone else… ehehe…!' he thought, resisting the urge to wince and failing to a degree. "Uh, okay…!"

The only people who did not feel dwarfed in that student's presence were the ones who knew her as more than an acquaintance.

Looking like he/she might be satisfied with those words, he/she (he/she was a she) turned her back and walked away to the Dean's office, wondering why he would want her. It was unusual, since the Dean didn't call anyone for no reason… but then again, she was nineteen, and had completed four degrees and was about to complete her fifth (in only three years). She also contributed to knowledge about astral projection, spirit mediums and such like.

Yakunan knocked on the Dean's door and heard a 'come in!'. The door opened when she pushed it, and she walked inside, glancing around at the office, which she had been in only a few times before. "Thank you for coming."

Her eyes snapped to Dean, and she nodded curtly. "What do you want me for?"

"That wasn't very polite, was it?" he chuckled. She glared frostily, and he became serious again. "Well…"

Ten minutes later of explaining that she would be going to attend a school for very wealthy people, showing her pamphlets and handing her forms to fill out, the young woman's mood was black. Yakunan left the office wordlessly and walked down the corridors, not responding to any greetings and wishing that the Dean wasn't so annoying.

The Dean watched his student leave, chuckling and shaking his head. He hoped that when she handed in her report directly to him, she would do it in a much more agreeable manner.

- End of flashback -

Yakunan approached another door, white with traces of gold around the idents in it, the golden handle shining in the afternoon sun which filtered into the corridor. She looked up at the sign above it to see the words 'Music Room 3', and sighed, knowing the room would be a better place than nothing to start her homework in.

She turned the knob and opened the door calmly, standing there wordlessly and masking her confused irritation when light blinded her and what appeared to be rose petals blew towards her face. She brushed them off her black button up and pants, which were also black, while studying the people who had just spread their arms and greeted her weirdly.

After three seconds of flower petals and lights, the blonde stepped forward and launched into a flowery dialogue as the scenery wasn't completely cancelled out by the white light. "Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school, Ouran Academy."

Yakunan stood there, an eyebrow raised, and wondered why she had to step into the room containing a loud idiot. 'He sounds like a French person. His speech is as flowery as the language. Of course, I cannot be sure, but…' He went on.

"The Ouran Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy's elegant playground for the super rich and beautiful." The blonde finished with a flourish of his arms, smiling in what she thought that he may have thought was an attractive way.

A few words from his extensive speech seemed to blare into her face. "A Host Club?" her arched eyebrow arched in an even more slightly elegant and critical way.

"Wait… it's only a boy… again…" a pair of auburn-haired twins sighed in disappointment. A small tick mark appeared on the back of Yakunan's head. She wondered why everyone insisted on seeing her as a boy. She even had long hair! But in her university, they might have started thinking she was actually a he because some girls thought she vaguely resembled the character 'Azuma Yunoki' from an anime she had never heard called 'La Corda D'oro'. She wasn't exactly interested in anime anyway, though.

"Mori-senpai, Hani-senpai, I believe this young man is in your class, isn't he?" a young man with glasses perched on his nose said.

"He is, Kyo-chan!" a child-like boy nodded. There were three things that made this boy unusual, though. The fact that he looked like a child, yet he was attending Ouran Academy, that he was referred to with senpai and that he was in the same year as Yakunan, who was doing third-year. The child-like teenager hugged his bunny doll closer. "He doesn't talk to anyone except sensei though~!"

"Oh, that wasn't very subtle." The bespectacled teenager sighed dubiously. "Welcome to the Ouran Host Club, Mr Specialty Student." The glasses-wearing boy turned to the androgeneous person standing at the door.

She only nodded curtly, not caring about them, and was about to turn and leave when one of the pranced over to her. "Oh? You must be Yakunan Himakocha. You're the specialty student we've heard about!"

This earned him a weird look, since Yakunan found it unsettling that he knew her name. 'Come to think of it, he does look and act rather like the Chairman…' The only person to know why she was there had just explained her arrival by saying she was a transfer specialty student. Yakunan would have preferred it if he had said nothing.

The young man with glasses spoke up again. "You're quite infamous. It's not everyday that a commoner gains entrance into our academy under conditions that are unspecified by the chairman."

Her expression didn't change, but the tick on the back of her head did pulse especially hard when he said 'commoner'. 'If only he knew… and calling anyone a 'commoner' is insulting.'

"Come on, guys. Don't annoy him… it's not that rare to be able to get in." One spoke up. The voice seemed rather androgeneous, and the appearance that went with it even more so, but the person was faintly female.

Almost immediately, Yakunan's gaze was pinned on her, studying every inch of her and quickly coming to a conclusion. "Why are you in this club?"

"What do you mean?"

Another tick appeared on the back of her head. "Do you lack brain cells? It is quite apparent to me that you are female."

In response to this, all the members of the club responded except the person who had been questioned. The taller blonde was running around as though he were a chicken with its head cut off, the smaller blonde was wide eyed, teary and hysterical, the man with glasses was surprised, eyeing her with suspicion and the tall, black-haired man was standing there passively except for his slightly defensive stance and narrowed eyes.

Suddenly, the twins, who had been screaming to each other and waving their arms around wildly in alarm, grabbed ropes from nowhere and tied her unceremoniously to a chair, then proceeded to shine a bright light into her eyes. Yakunan blocked out the light by closing her eyelids, and tried to reach up to massage her temples when she recalled that she was tied to a chair. "What are you doing?"

The twins stepped forward threateningly, not that they would be seen by her as 'threatening'. "How did you know Haruhi is a girl!?"

Yakunan deadpanned. "It is obvious. Only a person who majorly lacks brain cells would take so long to realise that they would have to look at her when she is getting undressed."

She blinked in surprise when the light turned off and spotted the taller blonde sulking in a corner that had not been there before. Yakunan let herself wonder if they carried around corners or something, considering how extravagant and dramatic they seemed to be, but then pushed the thought out of her head, labelling it as 'stupid'. She put it away to analyse later.

Another thought struck her. Had he interfered with the light by sulking? Was it some form of PK? Or should she just put it in the 'Ouran High School Logic' folder and not question it because it was pointless? She would have to study him some time.

There was a soft clicking sound, and Yakunan turned her head to see the young man with glasses pushing them up and holding a black notebook, which resembled the Deathnote and her former boss' notebook a little too closely. She shrugged this off, knowing it was most likely unintentional. "Well, since you know Haruhi's secret, you'll have to join Ouran Host Club."

She sweatdropped, wondering how it remained a secret, when any normal person (who obviously didn't attend this school or any other school for very rich kids) would have figured it out in, at the longest, five minutes. "No thank you. I am not interested in telling your friend Haruhi's secret."

"You don't have a choice." One of the twins came up behind her, a gleam in his eye.

"How will we know you would keep the secret anyway?" the other one popped up on her left, an identical, but slightly softer gleam in his eyes.

Yakunan remained silent, not caring that much about what they thought and instead thinking of the blonde's strange effect on the lamp. It turned on suddenly, and she came to realisation that the blonde had stopped sulking pathetically.

"Well, if we were to make him a host…" he paused with a determined look in his eyes and clicked his fingers. It seemed to echo around the room, like an executioner's axe dropping. "We'll have to train him! So, untie him!"

As he said this, Yakunan noted that he did not consider her opinion, so she decided to use the literal part of the situation to her advantage. She observed every member leap into action except the blonde and the accused crossdresser. The young man wearing glasses opened his notebook and wrote a few things down, her classmates Morinozuka and Haninozuka approached, and the twins walked off carelessly, snickered and grinning. The crossdresser just stood there and deadpanned at the scene, her eyebrow and lips twitching in irritation. Yakunan would have sympathised, if she could have bothered.

Yakunan looked at her fellow crossdresser with little expression beyond acknowledgement of her existence. "Turn off the lamp."

The person in question, Haruhi, if Yakunan knew right from the shouting of the twins at the start of the interrogation, sighed and went into action. She clicked off the lamp, removed it from the power socket it was connected to and started to put it away.

Meanwhile, Morinozuka and Haninozuka were untying her from the chair, and she stood up. Straightening her black button down shirt with an indifferent expression, Yakunan restrained herself from going up to the annoying blonde and punching him or attacking him with her PK. She proceeded to turn around and get her bag from the floor near the door and was about to leave when the blonde stopped her.

She straightened her button down black shirt with an indifferent expression, restraining herself from going up to the taller blonde and punching him or attacking him with her PK. Yakunan proceeded to turn around and get her bag from the floor near the door and was about to leave when the blonde stopped her.

"We told you that we were going to train you!" he exclaimed. Yakunan just stared at him with a mostly blank but slightly annoyed expression.

"I will not join your club." She stated bluntly.

He seemed suddenly to disappeared, and she turned to a corner - which she was convinced had been a straight wall - to see him sulking. Again. Yakunan just shrugged off the faint feeling of being being disturbed and turned around, ready to exit the room. She had a headache from the entire day and was eager to go home.

Suddenly, a voice spoke up behind her. "You shouldn't be mean to Tama-chan, you know, Ya-chan~" Haninozuka was looking up at her with wise, but cute eyes. He actually looked closer to his age.

She blinked once, surprised and somewhat shocked by his appearance (now that she observed properly without dismissing him). "I merely stated that I wasn't going to join his club. My time cannot be consumed by activities like this, since I am often busy with other things."

'Like attending lectures in the afternoons,' she thought, beginning to turn away from the pain-inducing appearance of the third year.

"So you don't have time for us~?" he asked her tearfully. She tried to figure out why he would be upset, but gave up.

With a frown, she shook her head. "I do not have time for it. I would miss important things."

"Couldn't a friend tell you later?" Haruhi suggested.

Her shoulders slackened very slightly. She didn't have that many friends. People tended to dislike her and not many could put up with her. It surprised her that they were insisting on her joining. "Not really."

Suddenly, her mobile phone rang, and she took it from her bag. After glancing at the phone number, a tick appeared on her head. "Dare? [What?]" she answered coldly.

"Oh~ that wasn't very polite." The Dean's voice greeted her ears. The tick on the back of her head pulsed a little harder.

"Speak." She ordered, her patience running thin very quickly.

"You don't have to attend any more lectures!~ I just ordered your lecturer to email you all the content from the lectures so that you don't have to miss club time at school if you do happen to join one!" he explained, much to her annoyance.

Yakunan frowned more, then, when she considered that the Dean would just start ranting if she was rude to him (she remembered all his other lectures on manners, but studiously ignored them and any advice imparted during them), she just hung up wordlessly.

The Dean of Yakunan's University, Makoto Hinata, blinked at his phone a couple of times, which was beeping with the dial tone, then shrugged. "I should have expected that... I wonder if she joined that club that Yuzuru-kun said his son made~?"

Shaking her head dubiously, Makoto's secretary, his wife, Kimiko Hinata (nee Kamishima), found the reason for the young student, Yakunan's, lectures to be sent to her via email obvious. Her husband was such a meddler, sometimes. Then again, if he hadn't been, then why would she have married him?

For a few seconds, Yakunan thought about the task given to her personally by the Dean. Well, there were seven people in the club… so she could join.

"Fine, I'll join your club." She put her phone in her pocket and put her bag down in a corner. As Tamaki cheered up, her mood became more irritable. Haruhi seemed to sense this and tried to herd her away from the stridently flamboyant blonde and to a quiet lounge area with a couple of long, cushioned sofas and a table set between them.

After a few minutes of quiet talking (with Haruhi apologising once while explaining a few things and Yakunan answering with short, clipped one or two syllable answers), Tamaki came over. He seemed to be about to tell her something, but she interrupted him. "What are your names?"

He blinked, then smiled energetically, gesturing to Haruhi. "Ah, well, this is Haruhi Fujioka, our natural type," he pointed emphatically towards the black haired young man in glasses, who paused to look up as if he knew Tamaki was about to speak of him. "Kyoya Ootori, the cool type!"

Yakunan nodded curtly and let him continue. "The Hitachiin twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, also the Mischievous type." He turned and directed her attention over to her classmates. "Takashi Morinozuka, or Mori-senpai, the wild type, and Mitsukuni Haninozuka, or Hani-senpai, the boy lolita."

He turned away and back to me. "And finally, mwa! The princely type! Blessed with beauty on both the inside and the out!"

She raised an eyebrow slightly. "Yakunan Himakocha." And with that, she got a book from her bag and went over to sit on the windowsill, her hair waving in the breeze. Tamaki turned white at his speech being ignored, and fell over when Hani poked him.

The door knob turned suddenly, and the hosts assembled to welcome them, Tamaki miraculously recovering. Yakunan just ignored them and read on. As the girls went to find a host, the wind blew and some sakura petals floated through the window, causing Yakunan's hair to blow a little.

A reasonably sized group of girls gasped, blushing slightly red and whispered something between each other in awe. Yakunan looked up from her book to see what they were talking about, only for them to squeal quietly.

With a soft thump, she closed her book and approached them, deciding that it would be best to go into her 'charming' mode. "Ah, what are you here for?" she asked, changing her voice from harsh and snappy to smooth.

They squealed and blushed, talking with low tones amongst each other. "Um, are you a-"

"Hm?" Yakunan looked towards the girl who was speaking.

She went on shyly with her question. "Are you a part of the Host Club?"

"Yes, I am." Yakunan smiled, not really meaning it and making sure it wasn't too wide. She hid her annoyance at the fact that it should be obvious she was in the club, since she certainly would not be hanging around the Host Club of her own accord.

A few more girls gathered around, requesting her to be their host. The other hosts watched from nearby, the twins leaning on Haruhi after practically dragging her there and Tamaki peeking over the edge of the couch in curiosity. Hani and Mori watched from next to the couch, and Kyoya stood near the crowd of girls, regulating them and getting them to go a few at a time.

After a few minutes, Kyoya had her talking to three girls at a time for ten minutes each. The twins remarked that Yakunan seemed to be a natural, having already wooed the group of girls with one smile.

They were seated at tables a few minutes later, tea and cakes at their disposal. One girl pointed at a vanilla slice. "Do you… eat cake?"

Yakunan nodded gracefully. "Yes, of course I do."

The blushed a little, and another girl spoke up. "Why do you wear your hair long?"

"It is comfortable that way." Her lips curled into a small smile, and the girls fangirled. Yakunan watched in amusement for a few seconds, and, wanting very much to calm them down, offered them a few cakes from the trolley Haruhi came around with.

The girls' blushes disappeared as Yakunan put the cakes on the table, as well as a few glasses of water. She herself took a sip from a glass and put it down on the table with a slightly loud clunk.

Suddenly, she felt as if lightning struck or a current of electricity zapped loudly, and she and her customers glanced around to see what it was. Yakunan suddenly zeroed in on Tamaki, who was writing on a piece of paper with was attached to a light blue clipboard madly, a slightly creepy look of excitement in his eyes. She deadpanned inwardly at his subtlety. 'As subtle as a sledge hammer…'

"So, Himakocha-senpai…" one girl began, looking back at her.

"Do you think it will be okay if…" the girl on her right became overwhelmed and blushed.

"… We request you again?" the last girl finished.

Yakunan nodded, somehow finding it in her to - she grimaced inwardly - be polite to people who she didn't know and quite frankly thought were airheaded. "I don't mind. I am here for your entertainment."

When Yakunan was refreshing herself after hosting her first guests, the other hosts chatted nearby, sharing looks and glancing at her. She gave them a flat, annoyed glance. "What is it?"

The twins answered her. "You're a natural- "

"Like Haruhi- "

"But we can't have more than one." They finished in unison.

"Exactly! That's the problem!" Tamaki stated the obvious with clueless vigour and pointed dramatically at Yakunan. "We need to find your type!"

Hani: Now can you talk~?

Beigedecore: Yeah, sure, what is it, Hani-chan~?

Hani: Read and Review, please~! *goes off to eat cake*

Beigedecore: *deadpans* I don't think that was talking to me…

Naru: Favourite and follow her story too. If she loses motivation to write, she will be a failure.

Beigedecore: As much as I wish that wasn't true, it is…