War is unjust. I understood it a while ago, but I always cherished a feeble hope that there are still opportunities to express human feelings. We are all a bunch of swine; we separate people by rank, we pretend, but does this mean anything? Does this mean that we can actually win by espionage and hoax?

Albeit I'm always moving on, there's a thing I simply cannot settle down in my mind. I had lied to a person to save my life – I had lied to Sarah using her faith, I had lied to a woman who had enough sympathy to take a bullet out of my body. She was genuine all the time; she was herself – and she was not ready to pretend even when her whole existence depended on the ability to feign obedience. I was baffled by it. If I were her, I'd sign the paper and keep prevaricating – but she refused to knuckle under the circumstances.

Well, she was inflexible. Maybe it was her tragedy, too? Maybe if people could adapt to the world, there wouldn't be wars at all?

"Ben, you have to let me. You cannot just find a suitable disguise and rush into town!" Abe hisses at me furiously, his eyes are narrowing. "Why not give me a goddamn boat, send me back to Setauket, take Mary and Thomas while—"

"Because this is dangerous, Abe," I tap at every words trying to stay calm and convincing. This is not an easy thing to do knowing how obstinate he can be when it comes to his feelings. "Everything is at stake, everything! You cannot predict the…

"My Dad has been killed. My life has been ruined. But instead of using the opportunity to avenge by warning Culper Jr., you just—"

"Abe!" I raise my voice a notch. It'd better not become a serious brawl. "You do not listen. You have to get Washington's permission for the operation; otherwise it won't be worked out and thought over well enough! His consent is crucial here, he is the only one who can properly—"

"Then talk to Washington! You just don't know Townsend. He will not speak to anyone he is not familiar with!"

"I am the Major of the Continental Army."

"Or Washington himself!" he practically shouts at me, and I really start worrying. If he draws any more unneeded attention to the barn, that'll be a disaster. Gestures won't be of much help – he doesn't even notice anything but a rival in the one he's talking to. "Townsend will definitely not tell you anything. He will definitely not talk to any of you. That's why he's so precious, can't you get this, Ben?"
"Abe, Washington—"

"The hell with Washington! If you it your way – I'm out. Your Culper Ring has deprived me of my life and my father, but I won't let it take anyone else. Do you hear me, Ben? I will not let it take anyone else. Even if this is you asking me."

War is unjust. Sarah knew it from the very beginning but she didn't flop over – she chose her own side and never changed it even being taken captive. She was ready to die for her beliefs…

…but I'm not ready to die for yours.

"Alright," I squeeze the handle of the sabre with my hand, "I will discuss it with Washington. But promise me: no gutsy moves before I return. No action. No hurry and attempts to go back to Setauket. Got it?"

Reluctantly, he nods. I'm heading over to the Commander's tent. Are we ready to die for ours beliefs as easily as Sarah was ready to die for hers?..