Say You Won't Let Go

Chapter Ten

Barry stretched his long legs out as he swivelled around from behind his desk to face Joe. He searched the older man's contemplative features and Barry could tell that something was up with Joe. Barry had known Joe all his life and after his own dad had died, Joe had become somewhat of a surrogate father to him.

"So, what's on your mind?" Barry placed a hand under his chin and looked up at Joe thoughtfully.

The older man was leaning against the thick ledge of Barry's large office window, both hands gripping the wood for balance. Joe frowned slightly. "What makes you think that there's something on my mind?"

"You have that look on your face." Barry gave him a cheeky grin. "Usually it means you need to vent about Iris or Wally or to call me out on my tardiness, but I know it can't be the latter."

Joe gave Barry a half smile. "Yes, well Caitlin has been a good influence on you in recent times, no doubt about it."

Barry nodded his head in agreement, running a hand behind his head and smiling widely as he thought about his girlfriend. "She has."

Joe mirrored Barry's nod. "You're really happy, aren't you?"

"I am." Barry replied earnestly. This time Joe stood up, bobbing his head continuously in what could only be described as nervousness before clearing his throat, almost dramatically. His sudden awkwardness made Barry frown before sitting up straighter. "Joe, what's up?" Barry could not take the suspense any longer.

"One second." Joe showed Barry his index finger before patting his chest with his other hand. Then his fingers disappeared inside his coat and he pulled out something from his inner pocket. Barry craned his neck to try and get a look at whatever it was that was getting Joe so worked up, but the detective was holding the item in a closed fist.

Joe gave Barry a hesitant smile and Barry raised his eyebrows at the detective. He tried to hold back all the sarcastic retorts brimming at the forefront of his mind over Joe's suspicious and nervous behaviour with a smile of his own. Although Barry knew that his grin was probably saccharine.

"Your dad left this with me before … well, when he got sick." Joe cleared his throat awkwardly again and Barry looked down at Joe's hands but noticed that the older man's fingers were still closed tightly around the mystery object. Barry swallowed before meeting Joe's eyes again.

"It's okay, Joe. I'm fine, go ahead." Barry encouraged, feeling all the more eager to hear what Joe had to say now that it somehow involved his father.

Joe nodded his head again but instead of saying anything else he simply extended his fist towards Barry and opened up his closed fingers. Barry eyed the ruby red box with wide eyes. He felt his knees weaken and hands tremble as he reached for the familiar jewellery casing.

Barry's fingers felt like jelly as he opened up the velvet box with reverence. Inside it sat his mother's wedding ring. The simple band still looked polished and the beautiful diamond glinted mischievously up at him.

"Joe … How?" Barry swallowed back the thick emotions threatening to overwhelm him as he tried to express himself. Fortunately for him Joe seemed to understand his need for more information when he failed to string two coherent thoughts together.

Barry had gone in search of his mother's ring when he had planned on proposing to Iris a few years back. That ring was an Allen tradition which symbolised decades of history and love, dating back to his great-grandfather. Thinking about how meaningful the ring was now, made Barry realise that maybe his heart hadn't really been set on giving it away the first time he had contemplated marriage. After all, he could have looked harder, made more of an effort to find it.

Joe gave Barry a small smile. "Honestly, Barry, I know that the time is right now. I've seen you and Caitlin together and I can feel how happy you are. How whole she's made you, and I couldn't have wished for a better partner for you."

Barry understood what Joe was trying to tell him by praising Caitlin and his relationship with her without dredging up the past. This time Barry had made the right choice. Of course asking Caitlin to be his wife had been on his mind for a while now; however he hadn't been sure of how to go about doing it. He hadn't felt right about just walking into a jewellery store and picking out a ring for Caitlin. He also remembered showing her Iris' engagement ring before and it made him cringe to think that she might be reminded about the painful experience when he asked her to marry him.

Then he would also remember that Caitlin had been married before and this made Barry re-think his proposal ideas every single time he thought he found something worthy of Caitlin. He wasn't aware of the details on Ronnie's proposal but Barry did know that he didn't want to do something similar. He also did not want to feel like he was competing with a dead man by asking how Ronnie had gone about popping the question.

Now though, holding his mother's wedding ring in the palm of his hand made something settle inside of Barry. He felt calm, the idea of proposing to Caitlin no longer seemed like it was a disaster waiting to happen. Joe had said that it was finally the right time. But maybe Barry hadn't been waiting for the right time after all, maybe he had just been waiting for the right ring all along. His mother's ring. In that moment, Barry felt like both his parents were in the same room with him, proud of him and happy with his decision. He could see his mother nodding her beautiful, red head at him in approval and he could almost hear his father saying, "Go get her, Slugger."

Barry felt tears threaten to fall at the illusion, but the amount of happiness brimming within him outweighed his sadness in the moment. He wanted to run, run right then to Caitlin and ask her to marry him. Yet he knew that she deserved more than a shot-gun proposal so he quelled the burning desire in his legs and threw himself at Joe instead.

"Thank you, Joe." He was consumed by the amount of love Joe's bear hug was filled with and Barry knew that he couldn't have asked for more out of life then. Regardless of everything he had lost, he had never stopped gaining loved ones along the way.

"You're welcome, son." The endearment made Barry grin goofily. His green eyes had stars in them. When Joe pulled back, still holding onto Barry's shoulders he too looked like he was about to cry. "Do you know what your dad told me when he gave that to me?" Joe inclined his head towards the ring.

Barry shook his head, no.

Joe gave him a knowing smile. "He said that he wasn't concerned because he knew that the Allen family would still have a doctor in it, even after he was gone."

Barry's eyes widened at the implication of Joe's words. He looked down to the ring in his hand and it felt like the simple band of jewellery was a missing piece to a puzzle he had spent decades trying to complete. The moment he asked Caitlin to marry him, would be exactly where life began. And he knew now that his father had known all along that Caitlin was Barry's home, ever since Henry had asked him if there was more to his relationship with Caitlin all those years ago.

CAITLIN walked into the uptown restaurant in Central City with a happy smile on her face. Barry had mentioned during the course of the week that his parents had been on his mind a lot lately and it made him feel rather nostalgic. So after asking for her opinion, he had organised a "family dinner" with all those he considered his own.

Caitlin easily found Cisco's comforting features as he stood to wave at her from a table surrounded by familiar faces. She returned the greeting and smiled broadly at him, looking affectionately at his curls that night. She could hardly believe that she had grown so fond of his long, shaggy hair and couldn't imagine Cisco without it now. Caitlin pointed at her friends to the efficient hostess at the door and then stepped further inside the lively place.

The buzz of happy chatter made her ears perk up happily. The enticing smells of grilling food wafted towards her nostrils, making her feel warm and fuzzy inside. When Caitlin took in the people sitting around Cisco, where two tables had to be joined together to accommodate her bunch, she felt a streak of déjà vu bolt through her system over the pleasing sight.

Felicity and Oliver were leaning into each other as the latter listened intently to something Joe was saying. Iris sat beside Joe, smiling beautifully at Thea, who was talking animatedly. John was busy in conversation with Ray and Laurel and Cisco looked to be revelling in the bustling activity going on at their table. Caitlin scanned the setting for the one face she most eagerly wanted to see but found Barry absent from the pretty scene.

"Hi." She said sweetly as she hugged Cisco before turning to the others.

While hugging Felicity, Caitlin was reminded of how much she had missed her friends and she was eternally grateful to still be a part of a group of people that she could call family. By the time she made a full circle she was feeling almost worn out by the amount of hugs she had given and received, but in a good way. A great way.

"Where's Barry?" She asked when she sat down and looked almost longingly at the only empty space beside her.

She didn't miss the shifty look everyone shared with each other. Everyone except for Oliver, who casually picked up his drink and sipped from it, his expression, as always, masked. Felicity looked to be brimming with an excitement she couldn't contain and Caitlin noticed the reproving look Cisco threw her way. Felicity wordlessly huffed at him in response and Caitlin's eyebrows drew together over the silent interaction.

"He'll be making an appearance." Cisco said cryptically and Caitlin's frown deepened.

Iris rolled her eyes at the bunch. "Don't mind them, Caitlin. Barry just went to the bathroom."

Caitlin nodded but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was missing something. Upon sitting down she wriggled a little on her cushioned chair before becoming comfortable in her seat. She was just about to strike up a conversation with Felicity when she heard her name being called out loud and clear. It was announced … over a microphone.

"Dr Caitlin Snow, come on up here." There was excited cheering, the most coming from her friends, as Caitlin turned towards her boyfriend's voice. Barry was standing up on stage, a microphone in hand, an adorable smile on his face and a mischievous glint in his green eyes.

"Oh no." Caitlin ducked her head in embarrassment as every eye in the restaurant turned towards her.

She wasn't a fool. Caitlin knew very well that Barry was repeating the very same line she had used on him years ago when she had made a fool of herself by calling him up to sing karaoke with her one drunken night.

Barry beckoned her with a cheeky grin and a crooked finger and Caitlin slumped lower in her seat, shaking her brown head at him pleadingly. Cisco stood beside her and clapped. The crowd politely did the same and more cheering could be heard. Felicity gave her a gentle push and the doctor aimed deadly glares at Cisco and the blonde before reluctantly standing up. She hurried over towards the stage, feeling thousands of eyes boring into her.

"Barry." Caitlin muttered in stern chastisement when she reached him. He helped her up with a chivalrous hand and gestured towards a highchair beside him. Caitlin jumped on with Barry still holding her fingers in his.

"Don't worry, I won't ask you to sing." He told her sweetly and Caitlin gave him a look that said you better not. She did feel a small sense of relief at his reassuring words though.

"Caitlin, I chose this song because I knew you would understand the words, just as I did when I heard it. It's funny how the lyrics mean something to us in ways I never thought about until recently." Barry placed a soft kiss on her knuckles before releasing her hand and standing up straighter. Then he sang.

Caitlin felt her eyes pool with tears as she looked at the sincerity on Barry's face as he sang for her. She understood exactly why Barry had chosen the particular pop song. It resounded within her, drawing on memories from her long relationship with him. Every line, each verse, the lyrics simply screamed out to her, describing Barry's feelings, her feelings, drawing out moments from both their lives that she watched before her blurry eyes like a movie playing out for her.

"I met you in the dark, you lit me up

You made me feel as though I was enough

We danced the night away, we drank too much

I held your hair back when you were throwing up"

. . .

"Well, I am weary of strangers I meet in the dark, on a lonesome hilltop." Caitlin replied sensitively, crossing her arms over her chest. The stranger looked down at her, his expression serious.

"We don't have to be strangers." He said sincerely. He turned around to face her. "I'm, Barry. Barry Allen." He introduced himself with a hand held out to her.

After an awkward pause, where it seemed like he was almost ready to take back his offered hand, Caitlin tentatively gave him her smaller one and he shook it vigorously, his long fingers strong against her own. "Caitlin Snow." She told him and he smiled.

"See, now we're friends." He replied good naturedly, still holding on to her hand. His fingers were warm against her slightly cooler ones. Feeling self conscious from the contact and her observations, Caitlin immediately pulled her hand back from his.

. . .

"Probably because I'm the only girl you've ever sang for." Caitlin's voice sounded sleepy.

It was true. Caitlin and his mother had been the only two women in his life who he had sung for. It had always been easy with Caitlin. She had never made him feel like he was broken or empty. With her, Barry always felt like he was enough.

. . .

Barry's lips thinned as he held back Caitlin's hair with one hand and rubbed her back soothingly with the other. Her head was still stuck down the toilet bowl and he wished he hadn't gone out with the guys tonight.

. . .

In reality, they didn't need music. They followed the beat of both their hearts, their bodies in tune to each other, guiding their feet in an easy rhythm. The clock chimed, telling the couple that it was midnight. They had been on their feet for almost an hour now, but neither complained. They were more than content to sway in each other's arms, holding on with love, every inch of their bodies touching, listening to each others breathing. Barry and Caitlin were more than happy to dance the night away together.

. . .

"Then you smiled over your shoulder

For a minute I was stone-cold sober

I pulled you closer to my chest

And you asked me to stay over

I said, I already told you

I think that you should get some rest"

. . .

"Goodnight, Caitlin. It was nice meeting you." He called out and he sounded incredibly sincere that Caitlin stopped moving once again.

She took in a brave breath and looked over her shoulder this time. "Black, one sugar and it has to be from CC Jitters." She told him and the grin that he awarded her with made her smile in return. It was easy to feel less tense when you were the reason for someone else's pleased look.

. . .

Caitlin looked at him over her shoulder.

Barry looked at her pale face, the red eyes, the sick tinge around her mouth and he immediately felt stone cold sober. The sight of an ill Caitlin sent his protective instincts into overdrive.

. . .

So Barry took advantage of making Caitlin smile. He had made it his personal mission to amuse her as often as possible just so he could see her face light up or her eyes brighten. He took pleasure in being able to chase away any remaining frowns that lingered on her fair skin. It was a simple gesture, yet the sound of her husky laughter always made Barry feel exhilarated, as if he had just saved the city from impending doom. It was intoxicating.

. . .

In her fit of rage Caitlin had not noticed Barry making his way towards her until he grabbed a hold of her wrists and pulled her away from his dinosaur and towards him instead. At the feel of his long fingers on her skin, Caitlin cursed at him, beating his chest with her fists until he held her against him.

. . .

Caitlin threw her hands in the air to demonstrate her frustration with her mother before her voice broke on a small sob. Barry immediately pulled her towards him.

"Hey, come here." He held her tightly, placing his chin on the crown of her head. He said nothing. Instead Barry offered her his shoulder and after a while Caitlin sighed and Barry could feel her tense muscles unwind against him.

. . .

Barry did not relent this time. He took a quick step forward and placed her in his arms. At first his embrace was rough as she tried to fight against him, to resist, but he held on tighter, pressing her into his chest.

. . .

"No." Caitlin shook her head before raising her hand to brush back a tuft of brown hair from his forehead. "There actually might come a time where I'd want you to charge in and save me." Caitlin teased and Barry chuckled again.

"Deal." He said, before insisting she spend the night in his dorm.

. . .

He scooted closer to her and Caitlin inhaled Barry in. He always smelt like the cool air after a lightning storm, clean and fresh, revitalising. "Thanks." He said softly, nudging her arm with his and Caitlin placed her head on his shoulder ... He sighed peacefully beside her and Caitlin's eyelids drooped.

She had fallen asleep like this many nights before and Barry always carried her to bed, tucking her in before he left. Tonight would be no different.

. . .

"Barry, how much of it will I regret tomorrow morning?" He could see that the effects of the alcohol were starting to wear off.

"Don't worry about that now, Cait. I think that you should get some rest." He assured her. She snuggled closer to her pillow.

"Will you sing for me, please?" She asked sweetly and he chuckled softly.

. . .

"I knew I loved you then, but you'd never know

'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go

I knew I needed you

But I never showed

But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old"

. . .

He did not cry, not a single tear was shed, but Caitlin bawled her eyes out. She did not say a word, but she knew he understood what her anger and pain was telling him.

She needed him.

. . .

Henry and Joe had asked him if there was anything more going on between him and Caitlin. At the time, Barry had laughed the suggestion off, not giving it a second thought, yet it was coming back around now. Was he missing out on the possibility of something more with Caitlin?

. . .

He would not ruin one of the most important relationships in his life by complicating it with romantic feelings. Barry's chest still felt heavy with conflicting emotions though …

. . .

Their laughter ebbed away into a companionable silence before Caitlin spoke again, her husky voice thoughtful. "I've never thought about Barry as anything more than a friend before and neither will I ever do so. Oliver is partially right. Barry means too much to me to lose. He and Cisco have brought so much of joy into my life and I know that sounds ridiculously cheesy, but it's true." Barry felt his chest swell over Caitlin's soft words, feeling the need to hold her hand and reassure her that everything would be fine. She had always inspired a protective instinct in him.

"I was broken when I moved to Central City, but Barry, he fixed me. Romantic relationships, they don't always last forever, but friendships, they can withstand a lifetime of trials. I have that kind of friendship with Barry. And Cisco. And I don't ever want to do anything that could ruin it because I can't imagine what my life would be like without them." Caitlin's earnest words made Barry feel like more than he had ever been.

Caitlin would never see him as anything more than a friend because that was who she needed. And that was who Barry would be for her. Always. Barry backed away from the door, silently promising himself and Caitlin that he would never question their friendship again.

. . .

"Yes, but there are different kinds of love, Barry. Not everyone who love each other end up being lovers." Caitlin spoke softly but Barry couldn't hear the pain behind her voice over his own argument or see the hurt in her eyes over his own disbelief.

"Well they should be." Barry said firmly. "I mean, isn't that what you told me, Cait?" Barry's voice also lowered a notch, matching Caitlin's soft tones now. He watched her through hooded lids. "If two people love each other, nothing else matters besides fulfilling that desire to be together. Regardless of the pain in between, be it in life or death, love doesn't mean anything if lovers can't be together."

. . .

"Thank you, Cait. I've never been happier and it's all because of you. I couldn't have done it without you." He moved his hands from her arms and grabbed the sides of her face, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I love you."

And even though Caitlin knew Barry only loved her as a friend, as a family member, she couldn't stop the resulting words that spilled from her lips, because she had been dying to tell him exactly how she had felt about him since she had learned off her feelings for him.

"I love you too." She whispered brokenly.

. . .

Barry gritted his teeth to keep his cool. "Listen, man." Barry spoke loudly, sending a cursory look to all the other men gathered around them for good measure. "That lady is my girlfriend and she's only up there because we had a little misunderstanding earlier on. I'm just trying to get her back home safely."

. . .

Barry could be himself with Caitlin. He had no secrets from her because she could see straight through him, even when he tried to hide something from her because he knew she worried over his wellbeing. Barry would never do anything that would jeopardise their friendship because Caitlin meant too much to him to lose.

. . .

"Just say you won't let go

Just say you won't let go"

Barry stopped singing on a low note and Caitlin couldn't stem the tears from flowing down her cheeks as Barry came before her and then went down on one knee. He had done this so many times during their time together, when they had been friends, when she had been angry at him, just months ago when he had been reassuring her, but this time … Caitlin knew that this time was different. It didn't make any of the other times he had kneeled down before her any less meaningful, but this time it most definitely meant more.

Barry shook his head at her as she noticed the tears collecting at the corners of his green eyes too and she laughed softly as he wiped away the wet streaks from her face with his thumb. Caitlin ran her fingers through the side of his brown hair.

"Caitlin." Barry began as he set the microphone down. She knew that this was just for her ears. Barry reached into his jacket pocket and even though her intelligent mind had come to this very conclusion she still gasped at the sight of the velvet box in his hand.

"Say you won't let go, Cait, and I promise I'll live out the remaining verses of the song. Every day. I love you, Caitlin Snow, with every fibre of my being, every cell, every bone, every other biological, physical and spiritual part that you could probably name better."

His words instantly made Caitlin launch herself into his arms with a joyous little laugh and the crowd that had been dead silent, straining in to hear Barry, burst into cheers. She knew that Cisco was probably cheering the loudest and Felicity was crying and Iris was whistling vociferously without looking at them because she could hear and feel their happiness wafting towards her and Barry.

"Yes." Caitlin whispered with a teary but happy laugh. "I won't let go, Barry. I love you and I'll stay with you till we're grey and old because, darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold."

At her choice of words, using the lyrics from the very same song he had just sung to her, Barry chuckled happily and no noise had ever sounded more beautiful to Caitlin before. Barry gently pulled away from her so that he could place the ring on her finger and Caitlin's eyes widened. She turned her gaze on Barry and he nodded proudly at her after kissing the finger that now wore his ring.

"My mother's ring. Joe had it all along." Barry told her and Caitlin could only look on, stunned.

Barry stood up to his full, tall height, picking Caitlin up in his arms and twirling her around easily. No sooner had he set her back on her feet were all their friends there, gathered around them, full of happy exclamations.

Barry still had an arm around her shoulders and Caitlin was glad for the support. She felt too light headed with excitement to stand on her own two feet just then. She felt like she would feint from excitement. Just when she thought that her life couldn't get any better, Barry gently squeezed her arm and pointed off into the near distance. Caitlin looked over to find her mother standing off in a corner, aloof, but watching the exchange with clouded eyes. When Caitlin caught her mother's attention, Carla did something Caitlin couldn't remember seeing her do since Charlie. Her mother smiled.

Caitlin looked up at Barry in astonishment, needing confirmation from him that her imagination wasn't running away from her. He smiled handsomely down at her and she knew then that her mother's presence tonight was his doing. God, she loved this man. He inclined his head towards Carla with encouragement.

"Excuse me." Caitlin said to her friends and made her way towards her mother.

. . .

A few moths later, on the very highest peak of Central City, against the backdrop of a setting sun, Barry Allen and Caitlin Snow were married. While Barry and Caitlin had forgone many traditions, the simple ceremony was exactly what they had both wanted. Their friends encircled them and in the centre, the pair stood, knowing that the love of their friends also represented the infinity of Barry and Caitlin's love for each other. So there they were, standing in the place where they had first met, facing each other while holding hands, knowing that marriage was only a formality to their union.

They had reduced Cisco to bumbling tears when they had asked him to obtain his marriage licence online so that he could officiate the ceremony that day. In its simplicity the affair was a perfect showcase of how much Barry and Caitlin meant to one another. They did not require any pomp or grandeur to make their wedding special. All they needed was each other and their family. When they kissed as husband and wife for the very first time, the cheering from their friends was overshadowed by the sudden noise of fireworks booming in the distance.

To Barry and Caitlin's surprise the stunning display of lights were coming from S.T.A.R Labs' tallest tower. Husband and wife looked at each other in wonder before turning towards Cisco who had no problem in taking all the credit for the beautiful display. He tugged at his suit lapels in pleasure.

"Yep, that was all your boy right here. I had to bribe Dr Wells with a few Big Belly Burger meals, but it turned out that he was more than happy to do it for you, Caitlin." Cisco told them before pointing towards the display again.

This time it sparked "Barry and Caitlin: Welcome to the Finish Line!" until a lightning bolt flashed through the words, setting off a beautiful burst of red colour and gold light into the night sky. Caitlin laughed softly because it was just the sort of wise crack Dr Wells could be expected to make about marriage but knew that her boss meant well nevertheless.

Caitlin squealed in delicious delight when Barry spun her around to face him while everyone else was still "ooo-ing" over the fireworks display. He bent her over his arm and kissed her passionately to start of their new lives together, on their hilltop, in the place they had first met.

They really had come full circle!

.The End.

. . .

Author's Note:Oh my, well as sad as I am that "Say You Won't Let Go" has come to an end, it's always so satisfying to complete a story so I take heart from that. Thank you, thank you, thank you all for the continuous support this story has received in its entirety. Reading your reviews and comments has certainly made the experience all the more exciting for me and so I thank you from the bottom of my heart, especially those faithful guest readers who I can't appreciate personally. I really look forward to hearing your last comments for this story, so please do drop me one last, bittersweet line. Until the next time … Happy reading everyone!

Nova*