Usually, it hits one like a ton of bricks that he is probably the most dorkiest geeky nerd in the world at the most random of times. Not when somebody insults you bypassing in the hallway in the childhood and teenage years at school, in a way to stroke their ego by abusing the weaker ones; not when you receive straight A's or simply care much more about grades, college and future in general than the surrounding society that seems to be too into games and dances and other stuff. One may even envy them in secret, just slightly; but admitting one's communicating ways to be poor is still not what I deem the true realization of winning the nerd award, if I may say so.

The true realization is looking at the crimson dawn light piercing the glass window when you lie on the couch in your living room, surrounded by chaotic and close to hysterics friends, and the only thing you can think of is: "Red sun rises. Blood has been spilled this night".

…

Got it? As in Legolas' words from the second part of the "Lord of the Rings" movie. You know, where… That doesn't matter, actually. You caught what I'm saying anyways, right?

Yes that's what I'm thinking of right now. Actually, if I'm being honest, I thought that it's a pretty good joke too and I almost giggled at the thought but caught myself just in time. No way any of my friends would get it, and if I look at the way they are flailing around right now, they would probably just send me to psychiatrist or something. I wouldn't put it past them to try it. The only person that could have probably shared a laugh with me at that is kind of the only person I really don't want to think about, at the moment.

My heart gave an attempt to jab from the inside at my chest at the thought but I quickly calmed it down. I'm getting so much better at this. One or two more situations like this and I will be able to stop and gear back to life my heart like the best of mediums out there.

If we (me and my marvelous sense of humor) slow down a bit and look at the scene, it would become pretty obvious that now is really not a good time to lie on the couch enwrapped in my favorite blanket like a mummy and ignore my hyperventilating friends. Especially considering that one of them is having a wedding rehearsal and a bachelorette party tomorrow. I took a deep breath shutting my eyes tightly. So much for caring about Taylor's nerves. I'm such an awful friend.

- Gabriella helLO! – Sharpay's obnoxious voice boomed, stressing the last syllable. Yeah, that makes me want to get out of my safe cocoon of warmness and face you, Blondie. Not. – You know, we could be way more helpful if you stopped BEING FUCKING MUTE! – She practically screeched making me wince at her tone of voice.

I imagine that this whole situation must seem pretty confusing to them, but I so don't want to deal with this right now.

10 hours earlier

– Who cares about high school anyways, right? – He attempted to laugh half-heartedly.

I gave him a grimace and stood up abruptly. I need to find Taylor and get the hell away from here.

- Right. – I said not-caring, my voice about an octave higher than it should be. – Taylor! – I hollered because she was recently led away by someone out of Chad's extensive family and was nowhere in sight.

- Erm… Gabriella, - Chad started but paused, looking as awkward as ever, still clutching the green-covered album. I guess I would've been at loss of words too in his place.

- Thank you for spending your time with me Chad! It was really… Insightful! But I really should get going right now, so bye-bye! – I said in the brightest voice ever, even waving at him cheerfully like an idiot. I'm not used to this. My whole insides were on fire but numb at the same time. It was like I couldn't feel anything at all beside apprehension of the inevitable wave of emotions that will sweep over me some time soon, like a tsunami wave. And I needed to get away from here before anybody had the chance to see this. Now, where the heck is Taylor?

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Zeke and Troy entering the room; Zeke was holding the door for Troy and they were laughing about something. I felt my stomach starting to do summersaults and in a not so good way. For God's sake, where is she?!

- Taylor! – I called again. I saw Troy immediately look at me with frown of concern but I ignored his gaze. I'm not really sure how to behave right now, but I'm sure that I don't want to look at him. Just as he started moving in my direction, Taylor finally appeared with a very irritated expression on her face. There she is!

- Where's the fire? I was kind of in the middle of conversation with people important for my future family, you know? – She informed me, annoyed, but I didn't care. Grabbing her by the elbow I led her as fast as I could out of the house and to my car. She only managed to wave goodbye to everybody present, deciding not to object to me. Very smart of her.

I started the ignition and drove out without uttering a word, too hasty to get home before an upcoming breakdown got to me in the middle of the road.

I relished at the feeling of soft warm creature lying close to my abdomen. Tommy is the best comforting kitten alive, honestly. He never left my side since I came home and started crying hysterically and absolutely inappropriately. Especially in the presence of poor Taylor who still has no idea what got me to such state. She immediately called the twins and Martha and that's about what happened for the whole time. Me just laying here, not willing to answer, because it really seemed like I didn't have enough energy for it; and them pestering me about my state. I think Taylor also called Chad, since he was the last person I talked to at his house but I imagine she got little information from him.

- Shar, if I didn't know that this is your way of showing your concern, I would have been so pissed off. – I mumbled, willing the pain in my temples to go away after it appeared because of her scream.

Sharpay instantly shaped her mouth an 'o' and pressed her palms to her cheeks over dramatically.

- Oh my goodness! She speaks! – She exclaimed making me roll my eyes at her. I do understand her ways, but my patience is very limited right now.

As if to outweigh Sharpay's actions, I felt Martha place a warm comforting hand on my shoulder.

- Gab, we're really worried for you. I'm sure none of us has seen you behave like this; not even at times of worst exams or when somebody offended you. – She squeezed my shoulder lightly, to get my attention. No, actually I'm known to have little random meltdowns here and there; I am not so calm and stoic as they presume me to be. I just have never shown it to them before, managed not to. – Just talk to us, please? Let's have a 'tea circle'? Like we used to? – She suggested and others nodded.

A tea circle is something that became tradition in college. Whenever somebody felt upset, frustrated, needed to vent or when all of us simply were in the mood we spent an evening drinking tea with cookies and chocolate and talk, sitting in a circle as if we were around a campfire. That way everybody could easily sea each other's faces. Sometimes tea was exchanged for hot chocolate or something else but that's not the point.

I agreed, making my friend rustle around my apartment, filling it with sounds of clinking dishes, rustling in the cabinets, boiling water and bean bags being moved to the living room. After bringing in all the necessities my friends sat down each holding a cup in their hands, which almost made me smile, and looked at me expectantly.

After gathering my thoughts together I proceeded to tell them everything. About school, about how I had a crush on Troy and how it turned into what we had now and, finally, about what Chad told me. Talking felt good and it kind of erased that tumbleweed of emotions rolling around in my head, allowing me to think more clearly.

Now that I think about it, I can't call my feelings of insecurity about my body and looks a paranoia exactly. At least when it comes to Troy. No, I don't believe that Troy could have liked me in school, that's just too bizarre. He probably just cared enough to talk to me because he was a generally nice person and we were paired up together by teachers sometimes; but it seems that now he noticed me just because I look better. Yipee. I wished to look good so much and look how much happiness it brings!

I don't think that I blame him for it; a lot of guys are known to be drawn because of looks, especially guys like Troy. I'm just disappointed, I guess.

- What kind of bullshit is that? And 'some ugly geek' – is that Chad's words? Because he's so going to get it! – Taylor exclaimed with a wry mouth after I took a pause in my little speech. – And why the hell did you think that you shouldn't tell me? Not to worry? Seriously? Do I seem so over sensitive? You've told Sharpay! – She practically fumed, shooting questions at me as if from a gun.

- She didn't tell me anything, I'm just a very perceptive person. – Sharpay held up her hand, shrugging.

- Oh, please! You haven't even been suspicious about me having any relationship until I came to Albuquerque and invited you to the wedding!

Hm. Taylor has a point.

Sharpay glared at her, opening her mouth to retort when Martha spoke up.

- It was pretty obvious that something was happening between Troy and Gabriella, and I guess Gabriella just thought that it would have been better to wait before telling us about it. – Martha amended. Isn't she just the peace maker? I love the girl, really. – Now, about what Chad told. Have you spoken to Troy about this yet?

- No. I kind of just bolted out of there as fast as I could. – I shook my head.

- Than what has got you so upset? – Martha asked, making me raise an eyebrow at her. Did she listen to what I was saying before? – I mean, just because Chad said that you were too bad for him or something like that doesn't exactly mean that Troy thought so.

- Martha may be right but you should be careful with this thought, though. – Ryan intercepted, seeing my hesitation at Martha's words. – It's obvious that you guys have connection; judging by Troy's behavior he does like you and I don't think that assuming he liked you in school would be something impossible. But that doesn't change the fact that what Chad said might be true.

Uh, still not getting how liking a person and being disgusted by them can happen at the same time.

- That's true, G. – Sharpay nodded, chewing her marshmallow. – Status thing is important when you're in high school. I know that, I was one of the popular kids back then. If we studied in the same school we most likely wouldn't have been friends. – She stated, making me look at her incredulously.

- Ouch. – I mumbled.

- That's just how it is! Everything is different in university. It's like, an eye-opener about what's important and what not so much. – She insisted. – What, would it have made you feel better if I lied? All I'm trying to say is, Troy could have let his friends and other people's opinions stop him from pursuing his like for you. I'm not finding excuses for him; I just know that it could have happened and that you probably don't believe it.

- It's not that I don't believe it; it's more that I can't comprehend it. I don't understand. – I muttered in a sad voice.

I am feeling sad right now, though I have no clue why I'm feeling this way.

- You know what? How about watching something? Gabs, pick anything, we'll go along with it. – Ryan suggested in order to lift my spirits, probably.

- Hmm. How about the "Lord of the Rings"? – I more stated than asked, already going to put this on, while Sharpay glared at Ryan behind my back. That's my revenge for not wanting to be friends with me at school, Blondie!

- Oh, great. That's just… great.

I think I am too nice. I'm standing alone in my room the next morning after our late night-early morning talk and movie marathon; looking as the scales show me that I'm heavier for about 5 pounds than I was yesterday and I can't even curse like any normal person would. Five. Freaking. Pounds. For one day of self-comfort. Unbelievable.

A girl learns that a guy she has always been into has only finally started to notice her only because she started looking after herself and changed so much. And so as not prolong the inevitable, she doesn't wait for the happy couple to start dating, live together, marry, have beautiful children (all after their father of course) and then get divorced because she can no longer maintain her figure and light attitude, resembling a penguin more and more after each pregnancy. Why wait so long when you can simply stuff yourself with an extra cup of ice cream? Now, how wise is that?

I just hope I'm gonna fit in my maid-of-honor dress.

I dressed lazily, trying my best to find something at least remotely appropriate for the rehearsal at the church. Taylor had already been picked up by Chad, which left me with a huge temptation to pretend that my apartment is the whole world with only me living in it, and never escape it. Spotting my car keys I checked if Tommy had everything he needed and opened the door to exit my apartment.

I stumbled back when I saw a fist lunging at me, dangerously close to my forehead.

- Oh! – Troy hastily took his hand back, searching my face for any potential injuries. – I'm sorry! I was just about to knock. Are you okay?

He was looking at me, his eyes swirling with different hues of blue, showing his anxiety. He looks almost heart-breaking with his sad blue eyes and hesitating appearance; if I hadn't spent the past day wallowing in my disappointment of him, I would have given him the tightest hug I could give.

- Uh-huh. I'm fine. – I answered flatly.

If I look at it rationally, I can't really be mad at him. He has done nothing wrong. And it isn't really smart to blame him for his teenage behavior or a man point of view on a woman. But I just can't help myself. I'm hurt, a little bit confused and don't want to talk to him.

- Ugh… - He stared at me uncomfortably, lifting his hand to rub the back of his neck. – So… You left so abruptly last time… And I called but you didn't answer… Did something happen? Want to talk? – He finished awkwardly.

I just stared at him. I soo doubt that Chad hasn't told him about our little nostalgia break for photos. If there existed some kind of avoiding topics reward I'd give it to him. Remembering our history (total of about 3 weeks, cause I refuse to call whatever it was at school a 'history') you could see that he practically excels in avoiding uncomfortable topics. Not that I'm any better but that's not the point, right?

I sighed tiredly, feeling upcoming headache.

- Listen, if you want to talk about anything let's do it in the car, I really don't want to be late for Tay's rehearsal.

He nodded, biting his lip and shoved his hand in the pocket of his trousers, leaning with the other on his crutch.

- When're you getting your car back, anyway? – I asked, opening the door of my car and getting in.

How cool, I'm making small talk. Fantastic. Remember that award I presented Troy earlier? Never mind, it's all mine.

- Well, It's done, but it's not like I'm exactly in a shape to drive it back home. – He said, getting inside my car with some difficulty. It's rather small and with injured leg it's pretty tough for him, I guess. – So, - He started again, after I began driving. – I talked to Chad that night. Seems like he remembered you, huh? – He chuckled strained. I just looked at him quickly, before turning my attention back to the road. I heard him sigh deeply.

- Oh, Troy, don't bother yourself too much. – I interrupted whatever he was thinking about to say. He looked at me confused. – I'm not really sure what Chad tried to say, but it's fine, you don't have to explain anything. I understand that I wasn't the coolest person to hang with – I guess it's really a miracle we talked at all; but everything changed now, we grew up, I grew up, and there's nothing stopping us from communicating with each other. – I finished my little speech, internally satisfied with it.

- I… I guess. I mean, I'm not proud of my view on things back then. – Troy said, staring straight ahead, picking at his fingers. – I… You were always something else. Something I couldn't explain, not even to myself back then, to be honest. I just knew that I always felt better when I was talking to you, or when we were studying. And I only really understood that what I felt towards you was something serious when we were seniors and there was no point in trying to change anything. – He took a slight pause, while I felt my eye-brows inching upwards. – It wasn't until I drew that stupid portrait and Kristen threw it back at me that I actually realized that I was doing something not right.

- You lost me. – I said, pausing at the red light. – Portrait? What portrait?

Troy just looked at me for a moment, hesitating.

- Of…you? – He more asked, than stated. Huh? – I thought Chad told you? Why we broke up with Kristen? Because she found in my room a sketch of you that I, kind of, just drew without thinking about it instead of doing homework for art class. She found it, and instigated this huge fight; almost all of the school thought it was the main topic of conversation, don't you remember? Well, you probably don't, you were never really interested in gossip…

Not almost; all of the school was talking about. I couldn't have avoided it even if tried, not that I did. It was gossip about him, after all.

I shook my head, pressing gas again, as the traffic light switched to green.

- Wait, what do you mean sketch of me? Why would you draw me? – I asked, feeling dumbfounded. No, he couldn't have really had a crush on me. It makes no sense.

I almost felt his stare on my profile.

- Are we discussing the same thing right now? Gabriella. – He turned his body a little towards me. – I'm saying that I loved you since then. – My breath hitched and I felt my heart squeezing before falling down. - I know you can't really say that you love someone without truly being with them, but I realized then that I do. And being with you now only reminded me that I was right all this time; we did grew up, I guess, but we are still the same people. And I've never felt more at home than I do when I'm with you.

No.

I started shaking my head after he was about two sentences in.

- No! This can't be. – I said, still shaking my head vehemently. – Troy, a person can't love the other person while thinking of them as disgusting or ugly or being embarrassed to be seen with them. It doesn't work that way! – I denied, raising my voice without realizing it.

- Who said I ever thought that you were disgusting? I never thought like that.

- Chad tried to say something about you having a crush on me, but being too embarrassed to start anything because you were so high and mighty and I was just me. But I brushed it off, because when you like someone or, god forbid, love someone, you shouldn't even see the person as anything other than beautiful and wonderful; you can't be embarrassed by them, because you simply can't see what is there to be embarrassed of. Isn't that how it works?

Not to mention that it means that he just assumed that I was into him at the time. I mean yeah, I was, but it's "good" to know that he felt so confident about it, leaving it for him to decide, whether we will start something or not.

- Well… I never thought that there was something wrong with the way you look. And I never meant for it to be the way it was. You were just… I just thought it wouldn't be right. – He said, wincing just as he finished his last sentence.

I think I'm going to blow up myself and burn everything around.

- You just thought it wouldn't be right? – I practically screeched. – Oh, of course! Poor unfortunate captain had to date popular and pretty cheerleaders and deprive himself of any true feelings, because the object of his affections just happened to be a little uncool nerd nobody wanted to be friends with. Such a tragedy! Can there be anything more sad? Poor poor Troy! Not every person is faced with such a tough decision in life! – I exclaimed, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

To say that I'm disappointed in him is to say nothing. I really didn't expect Troy to be with these high school superstitions almost as bad as… Sharpay? As everyone else, to be truthful. And for some reason I'm fuming mad because of it.

- Well, I'm sorry I'm not as perfect as you thought I was! I'm just an average guy as everybody else, sorry for telling you the sad truth! I'm not like you!

-Yeah, I kinda got that. – I practically growled, parking near the church. I can't believe him!

- That's not what I meant! – He let out a frustrated groan, throwing his head back and hitting the headrest with it.

- You know what? – I proceeded, without waiting. – I really don't care. It was long ago, and it's good that I know what had been going in your head back then; very educative, if I may say so. We are very different people; and I would've loved to chat a little bit more about that but look, we've arrived already! So let's just forget about it and go to our friends. – I finished without looking at him. I heard him say my name but didn't stop, getting out of my car and heading inside. Let him get out of the car with that crutch by himself if he's so cool.

- Oh! Let's sing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"! – Sharpay exclaimed, giggling drunkenly.

- Shar, you've sang this song 4 times already! Would it hurt to pick another one? – Taylor groaned, hiding her dark-brown eyes behind the glass of wine.

- Why would I do that?! Th'song is almost a classic! – She punctuated her sentences by swaying hand with a remote control.

We're sitting in a cozy cabin in one of the local karaoke bars that can provide secluded space for a small group of people. Sharpay being a high school diva and all may not care; but it is certainly more comfortable this way for the rest of us. Not to mention that it is a private party. Though Sharpay sure managed to bring some, erm, spice into it. But that's another story.

I'm actually feeling pretty guilty right now, because of all my completely unnecessary drama. The rehearsal at church was pretty strained because I refused to look at Troy (which was pretty hard, considering that we're supposed to walk together and everything); Troy seemed to be at loss whether to try and talk to me or be angry silent like I am (why he should feel angry at all is beyond my understanding); Chad looked like guilty puppy looking between Troy and me, shifting from one foot to another awkwardly. I'm not sure why he felt guilty towards me; if anything it's me who has been evading truth from him. And last but not least there was poor Taylor, who tried to get our whole attention to their upcoming wedding, while we were seemingly busy playing this ping pong stare game. Yeah, not so cool, I know.

As Sharpay pressed the 'play' button and the opening sounds of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" filled the cabin along with Taylor's aloud groans and my giggling, Martha stepped inside, closing the door behind her with difficulty.

- Well, Shar's sure caused some commotion in there. – She said, widening her eyes.

- What do you mean? – I asked, scrunching my eyebrows, while Taylor took another sip of her wine and Sharpay continued to sing carelessly.

- Well, for the total of 5 minutes that I was out, I think I saw at least 3 or 4 guys engaged in fight that was instigated by those two we've seen before.

- Our friend is crazy. – Taylor said, shaking her head and smiling lazily.

No joking. I don't know what's gotten into Shar, but for some reason she decided that it'd be a great idea to go flirt and get us some extra bottles of wine (not that we needed them anyway) from some of her newly-acquired admirers. Sharpay being a dazzling queen as she is instantly attracted lots of attention, and before we knew it she had 2 guys fighting over her. That's what I call a girls night, uh-huh. She did score us a couple of bottles of wine and a round of cocktails though.

Good thing we managed to congratulate Taylor and play those cute little before-wedding quizzes before Shar decided to get wasted.

- You better think of a song you want to sing before she chooses this one again. – I said loudly, trying to outshout Sharpay's singing, cocking my head towards her. Taylor just laughed.

- Naah, let her have her fun. After all, I don't know when will be the next time we gather together like that. – Taylor smiled at us, causing me and Martha to coo and wrap her in a hug from both sides. This made her laugh again. – Gabriella, are you going to do anything about Troy, though? I mean, I know it's pretty difficult for you right now, but it would've been great if my maid of honor and Chad's best man at least behaved civilly. You have to dance together too, remember?

- Yeah, I know. – I nodded and then something registered in my head. – You know, he told me he loved me. – I giggled behind my hand, feeling tipsy. Girls raised their eyebrows in surprise.

- Seriously? That's… a pretty strong word. – Taylor stated, deep in thought.

- Wait, did he say loved? As in a past tense? – Martha wondered. This made me confused also. I haven't really thought about it.

- Ugh… I guess.. – I trailed off, trying to remember what he said exactly. - No, he said something like 'loved you since then'. I think. I dunno what it means about right now…

- I say he does! It would certainly explain why you hit it off again so fast, especially considering that misunderstanding in the beginning. – Martha said excitedly. – Now, do you love him?

Whoa. Hold your horses, girl.

- Erm… I… don't think that I can say anything like that right now. – I hesitated, biting my lip. – I mean I certainly feel something big and warm a-and bright for him. – I stammered as I felt Taylor and Martha's knowing gazes on me. Those looks always seem so irritating! Like they know more about how I feel, than I do. - But we really only met again after so much time and then this thing about his opinion on us in high school… Shar was right, you know?

- I figured as much. And I'm really not surprised. Popularity and status really seem quite important in high school. Though I doubt he thought of you all those unflattering adjectives my lovely husband-to-be told you. – Taylor said, rolling her eyes. I really think she should go easy on him; I'm yet to apologize to him for my pretense. – I just think you should give him a chance? He seemed quite entranced by you since I've seen both of you at that first dinner; despite all the awkward looks you two were sharing.

Hmm, so Taylor may not have been so clueless all this time…

- And anyway, - Martha began, bringing my attention to her. – If you let such doubts keep you from having a what may be a real relationship with Troy, what difference will be there between Troy listening more to his friends than his feelings and you thinking about past high school mistakes than your own feelings?

Ugh. I hate when they say such sensible things. Well not really, but it does mean that I should listen to their opinions and disregard my own and that's always a challenge.

A loud whooping and clapping was heard, as Sharpay turned to us wearing a large smile on her face?

- Yeah! Let's sing another one!

- You really should pick another song, it is now or never. – I told Taylor, giggling at Sharpay's behavior.

Taylor agreed, hastily going for the remote control before we heard Shar's performing the same song for what feels like a hundredth time tonight.

I turned again to my side sighing wearily, careful as to not wake Taylor, and looked at the clock.

As tomorrow (today, to be exact, seeing as it is 1:27 am) is the wedding day, we decided that spending the night together in my apartment is a good idea, and it will make the preparations easier. So I'm sharing my twin bed with Taylor, while Sharpay and Martha are sleeping in the living room on the pull out couch.

Tomorrow is very important; you know, a day before which you better have a good night of sleep. And of course I'm having none because I'm worrying too much about Troy. A person I should be spending a hell of a lot of time tomorrow and better not look at him as the worst enemy I've had.

Martha's right, though. Should I be mad at him at all? Do I even want too?

Giving out another sigh I rubbed my eyes and got up from my bed quietly. Tip toeing carefully through my apartment, I slipped on my fuzzy slippers, grabbed my keys and exited my apartment.

Padding through the hallway I finally reached the needed door. I exhaled.

I know that I doubt myself and everything that happens around me too much sometimes. It just feels safer this way, after too many unwise actions I've made that led to that humiliating feeling of being a fool. And really need right now not to become one of those embarrassing moments.

I bit my lip and knocked on Troy's door.

AN: I'm sorry that it took almost a month again. December is pretty busy, both at work and at home. There are 2 chapters left and I wish I could say that I will finish before the end of the year but that's probably too unrealistic.

I tried my best not to be too confusing and too boring at the same time. I hope I somewhat succeeded. Feel free to ask questions, if anything:) Or to criticize if it really seemed boring)

Tina, Gabriella wasn't really Troy's tutor, he really didn't need one that's just how Chad remembered it, he needed a sensible reason to explain why Troy hang out with Gabriella at school.

Thank you for reviews! And they are always appreciated:)