Loner of the Void

Heyoo all. First time making a story here...oooh I'm quite nervous. Well this idea did pop out of my head after reading so many of the fanfics here.. so I give ma thx to all the writers who had help inspire me to write this...(just look up my fav stories about oregairu and see their writers. wood be too dam long if I posted there)

Well also I own nothing... the chars belong to their respective creators... I just own ma laptop here

well here we go

Running… how long have I been running now? I truly don't know… my breath is ragged and short, my hair all messed up and disheveled, the loud roar of my blood pumping around my ears, the burning sensations of my lungs, the hammering of my heart on my poor chest, the feeling of chilling wind as it caress my face, the indignant shouts of bystanders as I pass them ….and the hot tears streaming down my face….

How long have I been running actually? And where was I going? I don't really recognize the place I am now… Despite my mind screaming the dangers of my illogical actions… my legs won't stop. No matter what I do I can't feel them somehow and yet I'm still running like a possessed madman. Hahahahaha…. What a deplorable and absurd situation I'm in…. but then again could I be faulted after what has happened?

Expectations, hopes, dreams… what are these words to me? When I was but a young boy, no more than 7 years old, my parents use to say to me that having such things are the keys of life, the very fuel which drives humans to do extraordinary things, the very core of what to be call human. It was said should a human lack any of these attributes it will heavily effect the very lives of said human detrimentally. While they may live and breathe as the others do….. They lack the drive to live… a void in the place where the core to be called a human was suppose exist. Thus it can be said that to lack any of these thing will result in us being nothing more than a lifeless corpse… A dead man walking… well something to that effect… Am I wrong? Well I was but a naïve kid back then, how was I supposed to know right from wrong…. Or perhaps better to say, what was reality and what was the words of idealistic naïve fools who's only redeeming quality are to how thick skinned they are to the truths of the world or even worse to be ignorant of them. To be swayed be the sweet promises of the future without realizing the consequences that may be hidden or even considering whether or not possibility of task was even feasible….. that despite what actions you took, your choice is doomed to fail in the end… and all that's left is nothing but the void inside of you… to regret the actions of what was done...to despair and left to rot in the hellhole of a grave you unwittingly been digging, not knowing that it was for yourself… well at least you would be prepared in the eventuality of your passing, your family or the people who will bury you won't be bothered in digging one up. Well at least there might be one redeeming thing… the dead, no matter how glorious or important they were in life, should not bother the living. Unless you were cremated then for whatever reason for a grave was dug out in the first place.

Hmmmmm… what an interesting conundrum… wait where was I going with this? Damn, I'm rambling off tangent again. I really need to fix that habit of mine… well one of these days… any way let's move on shall we?

Well anyways, to make things short, I was a happy go lucky kid filled to the brim with all those idealistic and positive crap that could have been equivalent to a tsunami that would have killed thousands and destroyed millions upon millions in property damage. Ahhh the how foolish I was. I really wised I could go back in time and slapped my younger self silly and teach him the truths of this cruel world of ours. But alas the sands of time wait for no man and will never return… only to move forward…dam, I gotta stop these hyperbolic statements of mine and going off tangents… dammit I need an effing therapist at this rate or komachi would never talk to me again and my parents would ship me off to an asylum or a sanatorium for them crazies…whatever you call 'em. Wait but then they wouldn't have to pay for my daily life so much and it can go to taking care of komachi… hmmmm….. maybe…. Holy hell, I'm actually considering to commit myself to go to an asylum… I really do need help…ugh…

Well it wasn't all that bad to be honest, the life I lived when I was young was a happy one, deluded, naïve and unaware of the ever growing grave I was digging for myself for the eventual fall, but as I've said before… I was happy, so I will not regret it. And I thank my parents for the sweet dream that they have prepared for me, the love they shown at least in the meager spare time they have as a part of a functioning society member, a corporate slave. They though me how to live like a wholesome human being, teach me some of the finer points in life, and to always support me in my endeavors, no matter how ridiculous it was. I was thankful… but like all dreams….. They have to end at some point, and we wake up to what we call reality and smell the morning coffee….mmmmhhhmmm…. max-sama..* cough* well lets end this drabble for now and fast forward a bit to my middle school…nearing the present time… to when I finally awoke from the illusions of grandeur of my sweet dreams and into the cold hard truth of life called reality. I have to thank that girl who had awoken me… if any later in life the backlash may have been too much and I might've considered suicide. Haaaah… Orimoto Kaori

During my time in middle school was not so bad. Sure there were bumps and small hiccups but I manage to overcome them like those shonen protag u see in all those mangas and anime you see.. quite cliché if I may say so and ironic that there was a time that I might considered myself like them… damyum chuunibyo be OP n hax yo… sirs above or whoever is controlling my life please nerf. I cant handle this wide gap skill. Anyways I was surprisingly among the above average individuals in my class or even my school for that matter. Not one of the best sure but I can give em a run for their money be it in my physical abilities, my looks( I am quite handsome ya know, if ya squint hard you won't noticed ma less than savory eyes….dammit dad you gave all your skills and abilities and some of your knowledge and wisdom but why must've you passed down your eyes…) or my grades in school… I was top 3 ya knooooow…ugh that sounded so wrong.

Well in short while I may not be the best, I could boast to be quite high spec than most could say atleast. Then came the harbinger of my downfall and rebirth… Orimoto Kaori….. well honestly I couldn't really blame her for it was mostly my own fault for making assumptions of my own without really confirming the matters thoroughly…or even thinking at all…CURSE YOU DAMMED TEENAGE HORMONES AND PUBERTY! I DESPISE YOU FOR MY CURRNET STATE OF BEING YOU $!% &!* $!#!^ &#$ ! Haaaaah… but I digress, anyways like I said before I couldn't really find fault with her. Just my own naivety at work.

Orimoto Kaori was and is considered a nice girl. She help any of the teacher if was ask no problem, has a wide range of social network and a social butter fly at heart. No matter who it is she was always flashing that dazzling smile of hers, helping other and generally having fun all round. She could be considered a potential candidate of winners in life in all respect. Perhaps it was that smile of hers and how truly nice she was with me that might've cause my sudden bout of infatuation with her… I guess it wasn't so bad and all those manga and anime have told me the signs… so I went for it… to confess my feelings for her. Oh how woefully foolish of me…I should've have considered the options and conditions of my confession. The God of Conquest would have scolded me furiously for my folly…. And have a certain devil girl do something as a comic relief. But that was neither here nor there…. But anyways I confessed….

.

.

.

.

And I was royally rejected… well not so bad…she did rejected me kindly and said could still be friends…. Sure I was quite heart broken and I may or may not have cried myself to sleep that night… but at least I felt some closure. Not to led around by the nose like some fool or tricked by a fake promise which would left me agonized by it… it was done proper… and I thank Orimoto for that. But again that was the beginning of the end of my blissful dreams till now and my awakening to the truths of reality. And nearing present situation….

It has been a week since then. While I was still going about my daily life, I was hoping to be able to hang out or at least talk to Orimoto. She did say we could still be friends, but how foolish I was. During lessons I manage to take some sneak peeks at Orimoto. She still sports that dazzling smile of hers and chatted with her friends a bit. However when our eyes meet accidentally, her eyes widen by a fraction and suddenly a frown appears, and she suddenly stops whatever she was doing and suddenly focuses on the lesson… her friends, whom she was chatting a bit, surprised by the action looked at my general direction and suddenly the look of scorn and ire was given. I didn't know what I did wrong, but I was sure I didn't deserve such negative look. This went on for a few weeks. I tried to talk to her but she kept avoiding me no matter what I do. I even tried to wave and call her but she just leave rather quick. This can't go on so I decided to confront her direct after a lesson just during lunchbreak. After the lessons was over and the teacher left I tried to talked to Orimoto to ask her what was wrong but I was suddenly stopped by some of my classmates… more of the girls but some of the guys were there too.

"Get lost Hikigaya, stop bothering Kaori-chan, you stalker" a girl said

"Yeah, stop being a degenerate don't bother Orimoto-san" a boy infront of me said

The others that were gathered said similar things

I tried reasoning with them" N-no, I'm not looking for trouble at all. I'm just concerned with Orimoto-san's well-being. Please believe me."

"Hah" scoffed another girl " Get real Hikigaya, we all know how you confessed to Kaori and she rejected you, but know you can't accept that and now resorted to stalking? Stop trying to lie, we know the truth. You been trying to take sneak peeks at Kaori almost all the time during lessons and keep trying to corner her. Get a grip and buzz off you pervert"

"No! I'm not a pervert or a stalker!" I desperately tried to defend myself. " Sure I might've taken a few peeks and tried to talk to her but-"

"HAH! So you admit it! I'm truly disappointed with you Hikigaya. You were one of the best and yet you had such a disgusting and depraved personality. How low have you fallen Hikigaya, and I sorta used to looked up to you, but now…" said the boy in front of me, shaking his head.

"NO! That's not true! Sure I was rejected and I accepted that, but Orimoto-san said we could still be friends! I was only wondering why she kept avoiding me and wondered whether or not she is ill. Please tell them Orimoto-san." I desperately looked to Orimoto, pinning my hopes to her. To hope that she would clear up this misunderstanding. But Orimoto didn't speak... she just kept her head down and I suddenly felt my stomach churning and a small shiver down my spine. And the words she said finally slapped me awake and waking into reality…

"please stop stalking me Hikigaya…." She quietly spoke and turned away…

I was literally blown away… everything I knew was slowly crumbling… the friends I thought I had… the people whom I would call my classmates had shunned me… and the girl who I thought was my closest friend had abandoned me. No I wasn't friends with any of these strangers. Sure we may have talked a bit but no more than normal and basic pleasantries. I stood, my body shaking slightly and my head held down… Finally after what seemed to be and eternity, I ran...

As I ran to god knows where. I laughed, despite the pain wracking my body and tears that were adorning my face, I laugh like a total maniac with no concern to my surroundings. Finally after the sun has long set and the stars becoming my light and guide I fell down. Flipping to my backside I laid down looking up to the beautiful night sky. The cool wind gently caressing my battered and tired frame.

After a while my body relaxed and my mind calmed down. I replayed the event that has happened. Starting from the confession to Orimoto till the present time…how utterly naïve and foolish I was after looking back at my past actions. How could I have been blinded by such things? Cursing myself for illogical action I truly began to contemplate my life and self-reflect on my actions. it was baffling on how foolish I was and the more smarter and logical actions I could've have taken. Also I berated myself on being fooled by the "nice girl" that was Orimoto Kaori. While I did feel betrayed by her and a burning feeling of resentment rising in me, a more logical and cool headed part me stopped me and gave me some insight. She was a nice girl, and not only to me but to everyone else. What she was doing was nothing special or different from how she would treat other. thus the fire that was burning in me was washed away like a cool river flowing, although I did still feel kind of annoyed at her but the majority of the blame resides with me… so I can only blame myself.

After standing up and dusting myself I finally looked around at my surrounding to identify where had my crazed state of being had brought me to. I was honestly stumped with the unfamiliar surroundings. Maybe it was due to my tired mind or because it was night time but didn't manage to recognize anything familiar.

" Dam, way ta go me. I had a small mental breakdown and now I'm lost in unfamiliar territory… welp guess I just need to walk and find the nearest bus stop or train station…..or atleast find someone and ask for directions." I contemplated. And thus I began to walk.

It was quite nice actually. Despite the danger of walking at night I felt peaceful, perhaps I should this more often to calm my mind if I ever feel stressful. As I walked I manage to find my self looking at a rundown old book shop. It didn't have a really defining name, just called "A Bookshop". Well at least the owner don't beat around bush. It's design while worn had a sorta Victorian era kinda feel. Like you see in some steampunk games or anime. It was actually quite eye catching in a way. Somehow my legs again betrayed me and moved on its own and I suddenly found myself in the store. The place was quite dingy and the smell of mouldy books was in the air but it felt really nice and peaceful. I looked at the cashier and found myself looking at a very old and antique looking cash register. It has rust covering some of its edges and smells kinda funky but it look rather sturdy, not to mention heavy. There was no attendant so I merely looked around just to satisfy my curiosity. When I felt like it was time to leave one book in particular caught my eyes. It looked quite old and was covered by a heavy layer of dust on top of it but somehow I felt myself be pulled by it. When I picked it up it was quite heavy and blew the dust off, I really regretted that. Suddenly I was coughing and was covered by the dust I blew off. Peering down it really looked like it was one of the ancient tomes or grimoire you usually find in those old dungeon RPG games. It was a black bluish book that had metal plate on the corners of the book and in the middle of it was a strange symbol. It was my first time seeing such a strange symbol or insignia but somehow it felt strangely familiar to me. And on the top of the book was the title

"Dishonored….." huh what a strange title.

"So you picked that book huh?" said a voice behind me.

I jumped and quickly turned to see who it was. There stood a tall Caucasian man with silver greyish shoulder length hair and easily topping 2 meters towering before me, he was quite well toned and a mountain of a man. Wearing a simple white apron and casual clothing you would normally see, blue jeans and a black long sleeved shirt. Despite the hair he looked quite young, like in his early twenties. Sir, you are very large and very buff…. Please don't squeeze my head like a lemon with your nicely toned hands. Sir, also can you teach how to be buff like you… I feel so emasculate seeing your chiseled body.

How the hell did he manage to sneak up behind me? Despite my looks I'm quite proud in my hearing abilities… I gotta ask him how he does it. Maybe I can make my own stealth skill… like Stealth Hikki perhaps.. pffft yeah right… oh he is still staring at me, maybe I should answer him, that way I wont feel to intimidated or frightened.

"Yeah, this book look interesting so I was wondering what it was." I answered to him. He just stared at me in the eyes and said nothing. For what felt like a solid 5 minutes he finally answered

"I see" ….. Not a man of words huh? I can respect that.

"it's a good book. Do you wish to purchase it?" he asked.

Looking down back at the book I felt a strange tug at it. I was tempted to buy it but the book look expensive and I'm not rolling in a lot of dough. It seems like my face said it all, because the man said

"It's only 300 yen"

"Huh" I intelligently spoke

"It's only 300 yen, so will you buy it?" the man repeated

"Are you sure it's that cheap?" cuz just by looking by the metal plating on the hard cover booked I know it could atleast go for 4000 yen.

"The book chose you so I will not deny it from you"

"Huh?" once again I showed my brilliant intelligence. Way ta go me, your dazzling him for sure with you perfect score in Japanese language.

"Will you buy the book or not?" the man said once more. He really doesn't say much does he…

"Sure I guess" and I paid the man in exact change. It was quite interesting to see the mysterious shop attendant work the ancient metallic object called a cash register.

"So….uh.. I was walking around and got lost….uuhh I don't suppose you can point me in the right direction? I stuttered, despite looking like a normal shop attendant you would see everyday if you go to a book store I cant help but feel intimidated by the man. Must be cuz he's so dam tall compared to me.

He simply looked at me for a while. I feel like he was looking into my soul but then he answered

"just go out and turn right and you should find yourself back "

"Huh….ok…thanks I guess" I thank the mysterious shop attendant and followed his instructions. When I turned right I suddenly found myself in my own neighborhood. Feeling slightly confused at my sudden arrival back home so soon I turned back to thank the man once more but when I came back there was no trace of the book shop anywhere. Just an empty street.

I was seriously considering that everything that just happened was but a fabrication of my addled mind but when I look down on my hands the book that I just bought denied it in its full glory. It was as if the book itself was mocking me. Shrugging off my confusion I walked back home to finally rest in the warm embrace of my lovers, Bed-chan, Pillow-san, and finally Blanket-tan….. don't judge me. When I entered home I was assaulted by my ever loving imouto…haaah

"Onii-chan! Where have you been? Its 10 P.M. and you didn't answer any of my calls? Did something happened?" my sister Komachi pouted cutely. Seriously how devoid of life I would be if komachi didn't exist. Praise be the existence of Imoutos

"Sorry Komachi I was thinking of walking around for a change of pace. I didn't realize that I would take so long. I'm sorry"

"Well that's fine I guess… But please notify me first. I was worried that my gomii-chan had assaulted someone" she smiled a toothy grin

Ahhh my heart… I will pick up your pieces soon… after I recover what little ego I have left and some dignity. I simply deadpanned my sister

" I'm going to sleep now."

"Not going to have dinner?"

"No, I'm tired just give me extra portion during breakfast. Night komachi"

"Okay! Goodnight Onii-chan"

I finally entered my last sanctuary. Sitting upon my bed after changing into my pajamas I finally took a good look at the book. The strange pull I felt from the book felt a bit stronger now… compelling me to read it.

"guess might as well read it since I bought you." And I opened the first page and there in cursive English letters it read

" Corvo Attano…. Lord Protector of Dunwall….huh this might be interesting"

As I was about to turn the next page I felt an intense feeling of vertigo and a wave of drowsiness….

When I opened my eyes I saw pieces of rubble and debris floating like islands, I felt a small cool breeze from behind me, and saw the world stretch on till the horizon.

"what is this place? Where am I? is this a dream?"

"yes and no Hachiman"

I turned quickly to see who had spoken and was shocked to what I saw. A floating man materialize out of nowhere, wearing some strange foreign clothes I didn't recognize where but guess it was somewhere during the Victorian era. He seems at ease with a small smirk on his face. And his eyes…. I dunno if its all black or just colored around it…. Overall it was very disconcerting…

"W-where am I? How did you know my name? And who are you?" I asked as I gathered my courage to speak and the strange and abnormal entity.

"you are in the Void, my realm. as to how I know your name I will keep that a secret... but as to who I am…."the man gave a small chuckle and smirked. "I go with many names and have many titles… in days of long pass many men and women, be those in power to rule or simple plebeians who follow, those who were blessed with riches beyond all measured or living in rags with nothing to call home or even those who have attain the highest order in knowledge or simple deranged individuals….they all either loathe an envy me for my powers, building great cult whose main agenda is to erase my existence….

Or those who worship me as a god, building shrines in my name, performing depraved rituals to call me forth before them, or making small trinkets and imbuing them with traces of my power but you however" again with that dam smug face of his….. I need to learn how to do that someday… it looks kinda cool…"may refer to me as The Outsider"

A.N

Well I hope you enjoy that. this here will just be a oneshot... dunno if I will continue it... I mean sure I did plan it quite a while and have a decent outline plan out... but again I'm just a newbie writer so I dunno. please give me some reviews and critics please. I'm a very open minded person so if I lack something just review or shoot me a pm. If this continues... well if any of you who knows Dishonored this will get bloody and all that junk... will add romance of course but pairing will be undecided...after all everything depends of the choices that Hachiman will do

well me signing out ciao

ArmantusCumPinnae