Exercise Summary: "Marik and Bakura are handcuffed together. They've lost the key."-Random plot generator.

Characters: Ryou, Marik, Bakura, Melvin

Bakura came to feeling like he hadn't slept at all. His mind was certainly awake, but the blanket felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. This had been happening more and more frequently since he'd moved in with Marik. Evidently Ryou had become quite the night owl in the past month or so. Initially Bakura hadn't seen any harm in allowing Ryou to marathon horror movies on Netflix until the odd hours of the morning. After the first morning waking up on the couch with a crick in his neck, Ryou agreed to make sure he always made it to bed and that was that.

As time went on and the various little agonies settled more deeply into the muscles and joints of the body they shared, Bakura wondered if maybe another chat was in order. They could take turns resting their individual minds for months, but a human body could only take so many sleepless nights.

With a massive effort, Bakura lifted the arm that had been bent at a careless angle over his head. Somewhere between his shoulder and his elbow the limb had gone almost completely numb. He shook it out as best he could as he opened his eyes.

Marik stirred, licking at his dry lips with his dry tongue. His mouth tasted like pennies and cotton, but waking up with strange tastes in his mouth wasn't unusual. His darker half had a tendency to chew or suck on anything he could get in his mouth. Jewelry, toothbrushes, pencils, straws, plastic flatware, his own hair... He'd even chewed open a glowstick once. Keeping a cupboard stocked with gummies, jerky, lollipops, and chewing gum helped some. Marik worked his body sore trying to exercise off the extra calories, but at least his efforts had saved their fingernails. It was all about finding balance.

The sound of cars, birds, and pedestrians caused his eyelids to flutter open. Even with the blinds shut the sun dazzled him. He wondered about the time and arrived at the conclusion that Melvin must've broken another alarm clock. Finding an uncrowded stretch of street for his morning run would be a hopeless endeavor at this point. Marik growled to himself and tried to roll over, only to find his arm wrapped around his stomach and trapped under his body. He pushed himself into a half sitting position as he tugged at the limb. An annoyed grunt caused him to roll back the opposite way so suddenly that he found himself wedged between the bed at the wall.

"Marik?!" A deep voice exclaimed.

"Bakura?!" Marik struggled to sit up, but an as yet unidentified anchor still had a grip on his wrist.

Bakura noticed the handcuffs first. One glinting, silver bracelet secured around his pasty wrist, and the other around Marik's much tanner wrist. "Is this supposed to be a joke?" Under other circumstances, he might not have minded waking up next to the attractive Egyptian, but Marik was such a repressed git there was no way this situation could be what Bakura hoped it could be. As such, he opted for anger.

Marik flopped the upper half of his body onto the edge of the bed. Lavender eyes absorbed the situation. Bakura's room. Bakura's bed. Bakura's arm attached to Marik's arm. "You know, if you wanted to come with me this morning, all you had to do was ask. I would've waited for you."

"What are you blathering about? I didn't do this," Bakura protested as he shook his arm. Marik's arm flopped and dangled limply at the other end of the chain.

"Well I didn't do it," Marik insisted.

The two held eye contact for a long moment. Each eventually deciphered that the other was telling the truth. Marik looked just as confused as Bakura looked irritated.

In the silence that followed, a wild, tittering laugh filled Marik's head, growing until it spilled out into the rest of the room.

"Oh, bollocks," Bakura grumbled. "Him?"

"Pardon me, Spirit," a softer, sheepish voice piped up. "It was an accident."

Bakura and Marik turned to see the translucent form of Ryou standing at the foot of the bed. "You?" Bakura almost couldn't believe it. The brown puppy eyes framed by soft, white bangs shone with concentrated innocence. How did Ryou even own a pair of handcuffs?

"I'm afraid I..." his eyes focused on a point past Bakura and Marik. "We need to come clean about a few things."

The two young men both knew who would be there before they even turned around. The deranged human dandelion loomed causally over the head board. He'd stopped laughing, but the toothy grin never faded.

There was a long pause as Ryou waited for him to speak. When he didn't, the hikari rubbed the back of his head nervously. "You see, for the past... er... It all started several weeks ago. They'd finally released the Poughkeepsie Tapes on Netflix."

"I came in to see what the screaming was about and decided to stick around," Melvin finally interjected from the head of the bed.

"After the film, we got to talking, and..." Ryou tapped his pointer fingers together.

"It turns out your landlord is the kinkiest little cream puff I've ever laid hands on."

Ryou chuckled as his cheeks flushed pink. "To get to the point... yes."

Bakura's eyes shot open. "You mean you've been letting," he gestured behind him, "that do things to our body? Is that why I'm always so bloody tired?"

"I suppose that would explain the scratches on my back," Marik mused as he played with a piece of hair. When he met Bakura's accusatory glare, he threw up his hands defensively. "Well, excuse me, Bakura, but mysterious scratches and bruises and blood stains are par for the course when you share your body with him. I stopped asking years ago. I don't see you making any astute observations about the state of your body."

"There are a number of ways to cause pain without leaving marks," Melvin said.

"It was my body first," Ryou cut it. "I'll do what I please with it, thank you very much. Like you would consult me about everything you want..."

Bakura looked at Marik. "How are you so calm about this?"

"I've always known he was gay." Marik shrugged. "Sharing a body means making sacrifices, Bakura. Quit being such a bossyboots all the time." He paused and looked at Melvin. "Wait, we are topping, right? We better be topping..."

"I'm not a-" Bakura started to raise his hand but it only moved a few inches. He glared at the chain connecting him to Marik. "Fine, fine. I suppose it could be... worse..." At least he could pretend he was fucking Marik vicariously. Maybe this would finally coax Marik out of the closet. "Just get this thing off of us."

Ryou sucked air in between his teeth. "The thing about that is," he clasped his hands behind his back, "we don't have the key, right now."

"What?" Bakura growled and put his free hand over his face. "Why the hell not?"

Ryou and Melvin exchanged a glance, and then looked at Marik. "Someone sort of swallowed it," Ryou confessed.

"You friggin what?" Marik clutched his stomach as he glared the statuesque mad man.

"I was caught up in the moment," Melvin shrugged, still grinning. His eyes danced with twisted mirth.

"You mean... We're stuck like this? Until I..." His eyes dilated. "With him stuck to me?"

"I could take over for you if you like," the mad spirit's grin stretched impossibly wide.

"No!" Marik snapped. "No. You've done enough." He clawed his way across the bed, dragging Bakura behind him. "Frigging maniac," he was grumbling to himself. "Frigging swallowing frigging... everything..."

The maniac cackled. "Yes. Everything."

The young man felt his face go hot. He gritted his teeth."Shut up!" Marik dragged Bakura into the bathroom and doubled over in front of the toilet. He began making choking, gagging noises as his abs heaved.

Bakura found himself yanked over at the waist, leaning awkwardly over Marik's back. He spent a moment in silence, watching Marik's shoulder blades shift under his golden skin as he tried to think of what to do.

Marik's eyes watered. His throat stung and his abs were starting to burn from the exertion. Nothing came up, though. The key might not even be in his stomach any more, depending on how many hours had passed. He'd get Bakura to punch him in the gut, though, before he'd let Bakura stand there while he used the bathroom. Even the thought of such a thing was humiliating.

"Try using a finger," Bakura offered.

"Can't," Marik grumbled between forced wretches. "No... gag reflex..."

The spirit of the Ring snorted and rolled his eyes. Of course not, he thought to himself. "What about a bobby pin? You must have something like that lying around."

The Egyptian shot Bakura an incredulous look through his curtain of golden hair. "Do I look like I'd have bobby pins lying around?"

"Yes, but I'll take that as a no," Bakura huffed. He studied the cuff around his wrist. It ought to have had a safety release if it was a toy. Either the mad spirit had broken that, too, or these were more than the sort of cheap, novelty handcuffs that came with cop play-sets. Once more Bakura found himself wondering just what his landlord had been up to while Bakura wasn't paying attention.

"Spirit," the boy in question said from the doorway. "There might be a way to get another key. We need to get the receipt, though."

"Where is the receipt?" Bakura raised an eyebrow.

Ryou fidgeted. "I wish you'd just let us handle this. All we need is an hour."

"Tell me where the receipt is, yadonushi," Bakura growled.

"If you don't, I will," Melvin said. "We've come this far. I want to see the look on his face."

Ryou sighed. "There's a box in the top of the closet. It's the one with 'Monster World figures' written in green marker. It's... um..." He trailed off and looked at Melvin.

Bakura dragged Marik away from the toilet. The two had to work together to get the box down. It rattled in a metallic way that definitely didn't sound like Monster World figurines. Ryou always wrapped those carefully with tissue paper before putting them away. Bakura unfolded the lid and looked inside.

Marik reached in and pinched a strip of leather attached to a black, rubber ball between two fingers. He lifted it out of the box, letting it dangle in the air between him and Bakura. "Is this a gag?"

Ryou blushed. Melvin laughed. Bakura glared at Melvin and snatched the gag away from Marik.

"I never would've pegged you for a prude, Bakura," Marik teased.

"You're not the one with a host putting his physical well-being at the mercy of a bloody psychopath."

As he spoke, Marik fished a black case out of the bottom of the box. "Relax. Gags, handcuffs, and blindfolds are hardly..." He trailed off as he opened the case. "What...?" He exchanged a glance with Melvin, communicating quickly and quietly across their link. His eyebrows went up. "Oh, look, there's the receipt." He pulled it out of the case and shut it quickly. "Better hurry up. No time to waste."

Bakura had observed the exchange suspiciously. "What's in the box, Marik?"

"Nothing important. Let's go." Marik tried to stand up, but Bakura tugged him back down.

"Marik."

Ryou sighed. "You realize he's never going to let me have any fun ever again, right?"

"He has to sleep some time," Melvin grinned. "I can wait."

"The box, Marik," Bakura repeated.

Marik sighed. "Do you... know what a violet wand is?"

"Electric play? With him? Gods, Ryou, next you're going to be saying you let him suffocate you," Bakura growled.

Ryou looked guiltily at his feet.

"Ryou!"

"It's a harmless toy, Spirit!" Ryou protested. "The lady at the shop assured me it was perfectly safe! You can try it yourself if you're so worried!"

Melvin leaned against the wall and crossed his arms behind his head, looking far too pleased with the Ring spirit's aggravation. "Ooh, let's. I want to see if he makes the same faces."

"Hand cuffs," Marik pointed out. "Still on."

"Exactly," Melvin chuckled. "He wouldn't be able to get away."

Bakura elected to ignore Marik's surprisingly more annoying half. "Ryou." He only used his host's name when he really, really meant it, and Ryou responded to the tone. "We have the receipt. Now what?" He didn't fancy being handcuffed to Melvin, should the other personality decide to take over.

"We need to take the receipt to the shop to get a replacement key," Ryou explained.

"You mean I have to walk into a sex shop handcuffed to him?" Marik's eyes widened. "But everyone will think we're gay!"

Bakura rolled his eyes. "Perish the thought."

"I'll take over," Melvin said.

"Marik, don't you dare," Bakura growled.

Marik considered his options. "Is there a collar in that box?"

Bakura almost dared to hope Marik had changed his mind, but doubted he could be so lucky. Not with the way the rest of the morning had panned out.

The sheepish look Ryou cast at Bakura was the only answer Marik needed. "I'll do it if Bakura wears the collar," Marik said. "And I want to do all the talking. And you have to let me call you 'Fluffy.' I won't have anyone thinking I'm not the dominant one in this relationship."

Bakura opened his mouth to protest, but immediately reconsidered. It wasn't sex, but an inadvertent kinky game would have to do. Trying to repress his smirk, he huffed his bangs out of his face and groused, "Whatever."

"'Whatever,' what?" Marik prompted crossing his arms.

The movement pulled Bakura closer, but Marik didn't seem to register that. Another sigh. Another inward smirk. "Whatever... Master Marik..."

"Good Fluffy." Marik patted him on the head.

Bakura melted a little inside. Maybe he owed Ryou one for this.