A/N: I haven't had much time to write anything new these last couple days, so I figured I'd fill the gap by posting an old writing exercise instead. Sorry to those you waiting for the conclusion of Swap. It should be done by the end of the week.
Exercise summary:
One, I wanted to experiment with writing a story using only dialogue.
Two, I was thinking about how the Abridged cast playing Friday the 13th multiplayer together would be hilarious.
Three, my other two stories are kind of heavy horror and I wanted to try my hand at humor.
Four, I took a little liberty with the mechanics of the actual Friday the 13th game, but its mostly accurate.
Exercise characters: Marik, Bakura, Atem, Melvin, Yugi, Ryou
"'Cause baby I'm a fiiiire wooork! Come on watch my coooolors burst!"
"Marik," Bakura tried to interrupt.
"Watch me go aaaaah aaaah aaaah, as I shoot across the skyyyy!"
"Marik! Your microphone is on!" Bakura snapped.
"Yeah. So?" Marik asked.
"No one wants to listen to your off-key warbling," Bakura growled.
"Why do you hate fun, Bakura?" Marik asked.
"I don't hate-" Bakura began.
"'Cause Bakura is a gruuuumpy gus," Marik started singing.
"Ha! He's not wrong," Atem chuckled.
"Urg. I'm going to throttle both of your-"
"Hello? Helloooo? Is this thing on?"
"Melvin?!" Yugi exclaimed incredulously.
"Haha! I hope you cupcakes are ready to die!"
"Who in the bloody hell invited him?" Bakura demanded.
"Sorry," Ryou cut in sheepishly. "Kaiba said he was busy at work and we needed a sixth player."
"More like busy pouting because I drowned him in the toilet last time," Atem smirked.
"Ryou, what are you doing talking to that lunatic at all?" Bakura asked.
"We met on a horror film forum," Ryou explained. "He had some interesting things to say about Saw 2."
"Can we just get to the killing already?" Melvin whined.
…
"So who's the killer?" Yugi asked.
"Yes! Who's a main character now, you sods?" Ryou cheered.
"I think it's Ryou," Atem sighed.
"What's wrong, Pharaoh? Scared of the marshmallow?" Melvin mocked.
"He gets way too into it," Yugi said.
…
"Hey, Bakura. Bakura. Check out my butt in these shorts."
"I know what Tiffany's butt looks like, Marik. Shut up and help me search the drawers."
"You know what I found in these drawers?" Marik asked.
"What?" Bakura asked.
"My butt!" Marik crowed.
Bakura groaned.
"You should've let me rub him out when you had the chance," Melvin said.
Bakura laughed. "It's not too late. I'll even help. You hold him down, I'll rub him out."
"No one's rubbing me out but me," Marik huffed.
"A disappointment that weighs on my mind daily," Bakura muttered.
"The tart usually dies first, Marik," Ryou said.
"What are you im- Holy frig, he's outside! Scatter! Scatter!"
...
"Psst! You, the short one. Over here."
"Melvin?" Yugi asked.
"I've got the boat running. If you hurry I won't leave your panda ass here."
"You fixed the boat? How did you find the propeller so qui- Hey! Hey, stop, you're not supposed to-"
Melvin cackled.
"Yugi?" Atem asked.
"He's got the machete! I need a first aid spray!"
"Where are you?" Atem asked.
"I'm dead! He killed me. Melvin killed me!"
"Excuse me, are you stealing my victims?" Ryou asked indignantly.
Melvin laughed again. "Just a little friendly fire."
"Ooh, I've got a special execution for you," Ryou scowled.
"You're just worried because you know I could kill more of these twits than you can, Amanda," Melvin teased. "I don't even need to use Jason."
"We'll see about that," Ryou smirked.
…
"Ah!" Marik screamed.
"Is that a gas can?" Ryou smirked.
"No," Marik protested.
"Looks like a gas can to me," Ryou taunted. "You better not be thinking of escaping. I might have to rip your jaw off if you're thinking of escaping."
"Go stalk someone else, creeper," Marik whined. "No! Not the face! Help! Bakura!"
"Eat it, bitch," Atem grinned.
"Ah!" Ryou cried out. "Bloody flare gun. I'll get you for that!"
"If you see Bakura, tell him to stay away from Melvin," Atem advised.
"Why are we staying away from Melvin?" Marik asked.
"The same reason we always stay away from Melvin. He's trying to kill everybody."
...
"Hahaha! Yes! Run, Thief! Run!" Melvin cackled.
"We're supposed to be working together, you loony wanker," Bakura spat.
"But this is so much more fun," Melvin laughed.
"Have either of you twats found a way out yet?" Bakura demanded.
"Agh! Tiffany friggin sucks at fixing the friggin car!" Was Marik's response.
"I found the fuse, but Jason booby trapped the fuse box," Atem said. "I need a wrench."
"I have a wrench," Melvin said.
"You shut up," Bakura snapped.
…
"Get in the car!" Atem urged.
"Wait, wait, wait, where's Bakura?" Marik asked.
"Under a bush with a wrench-shaped dent it my skull," Bakura growled.
"Screw it, then. Punch it, Kenny!" Marik said.
"Way ahead of you, Tiffany," Atem said.
"No, turn left! Watch the tree! Ah! Go right!"
"If you're so great at this, why don't we stop and trade places?" Atem said.
"Maybe we should. I'll have us out of here in- Hey! You- you jerk face! Come back!"
"Stick out a leg, Tiffany! Maybe Melvin will give you a lift!" Atem laughed. "Ah!"
"He was right, you know. You really should watch the road," Ryou grinned.
"Oh my gods, he killed Kenny!" Marik gasped.
"A South Park reference? Really?" Ryou rolled his eyes. "I should break your spine for that."
"No!"
…
"Where is that little priss?" Melvin huffed.
"Tiffany is too bloody fast," Ryou sighed.
"You realize this is totally unfair," Marik pouted. "Ganging up on me like this."
"I thought you liked it two on one," Melvin teased.
"You're the one who likes it two on one!" Marik shot back.
"Have you checked the closets?" Bakura asked.
"Stay out of this, fluffy! You're dead!" Marik snapped.
"Aha!" Ryou crowd. "Now, I believe I promised you a broken spine..."
"Curses!" Marik yelled.
...
"It looks like it's just you and me, now," Ryou grinned.
"Fuck off," Melvin snapped.
"I told you I had special plans for you," Ryou cooed.
"I've got a knife," Melvin threatened.
"If that were true, you wouldn't be running," Ryou laughed.
"Let me go, you limey fruitcake!"
"But I wanted to show you the fire place," Ryou fake pouted.
"Fuck your fucking fire place!"
"Just a quick look. A quick, close look," Ryou smirked.
"Ah!"
"How's that for friendly fire?"
"My head! You're burning my head!" Melvin laughed. "For a minute there, I was worried this game would be boring."
"I told you," Ryou laughed too.
"Maybe next time I'll burn off your face," Melvin said.
"We're not playing with Melvin again," Atem said.
"Tell me about it," Marik said. "He always just stomps in and wrecks everything. Like the time he 'borrowed' my Skyrim profile and killed a bunch of shopkeepers..."
Melvin cackled.
"That was actually kind of funny," Bakura chuckled.
"Oh, come on, guys, we can't kick him out before he gets a chance to be Jason," Ryou pouted.
"He spent half the game chasing me with a wrench," Bakura growled. "No thanks to you."
"Forget it, Amanda," Melvin said. "I'm sort of in the mood for Saw 3, anyway."
Ryou paused before saying, "Now that you mention it, I might be in the mood for Saw 3 as well. If the rest of you don't mind."
"Didn't you watch that yesterday?" Yugi asked.
"It's a really good movie," Ryou said sheepishly.
"It's not that good," Marik said. "Little Nicky is at least fifty times better."
"Go on, Ryou," Bakura said quickly. "We'll play something else."
"Goodnight, everyone," Ryou chirped.
"Right," Bakura sighed.
"Night, Ryou," Yugi chirped back.
"Melvin sucks at video games anyway," Marik said. "Seriously, there isn't even a character named Amanda."
Bakura smiled wryly. "You're lucky you're pretty, Marik."
"I know," Marik beamed.