It's midnight, a few hours past when the old hag told him to be home.

So what? It wasn't like he was out annoying Smokey. He was only out with Marco and Thatch because Sabo decided to be a huge buzzkill by studying for their exams tomorrow with Koala at the library.

Dork.

After almost managing to break one of his fingers trying to pry open the living room window, the teen swears.

"Dammit!"

With a sweeping glance, it's not long before Ace's eyes land on his baby brother's window and a smirk graces his features.

Quickly but quietly, Ace maneuvers himself below his brother's window—his footing accidently catching on a nearby flowerpot that the hag's going to grumble about tomorrow—deftly hefting himself up and pushing open the window with a grin.

Across the street, their neighbor, which everyone in the neighborhood calls 'Mayor', flicks on his kitchen light, huffing as he spies the teenage delinquent trying to break into his own home, before turning off the light and padding back to bed with a few grumbles.

The inside of the room is dark, understandably, and as expected the roar known as his brother's snoring is also present. Everything is mostly normal… except then there's a soft scuffling sound.

Ace frowns, turning sharply to the side, coming face to face with a lifted chair—a chair that's usually under his brother's desk used for holding snacks—that's now being poised threateningly above his head.

"Wh—"

Two golden eyes, with dark bags present underneath, are looking back at the freckled teen, seemingly just as surprised before blinking at him, and slowly lowering the chair back to the floor. "You must be Ace."

"Wha—who the fuck are you!?" Ace's jaw drops. Off to the side, Luffy starts mumbling something about meat, Ace's attention is momentarily drawn away, but then snoring starts back up again. The angry teen's focus snaps back to the stranger in front of him. "And why the fuck are you in my brother's room!?"

"Law Trafalgar," the bastard actually has the nerve to grin, Ace can feel his eye starting to twitch, "your brother's boyfriend."

Red seems to be a good color, and he's surely seeing a lot of it right now, but damn, is it going to suck when Pops has to bail him out of jail for murder. Or at least attempted murder, Ace thinks grumpily.

Looking around, suddenly the sight of his brothers shorts and boxers—casually thrown off the side of the bed—Is answer enough about what Pops is going to have to bail him out over.

"You sonofa—!" Ace practically growls.

"Hmm." Luffy stirs sluggishly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with a frown. "What are you—" his dark eyes fall on 'Law-about-to-die Trafalgar', and a dreamy smile graces his features.

"Torao! You met Ace?"

There's an undeniable glint in those hawk-like eyes as the cocky grin continues to spread across the older—holy fuck, is that facial hair?! He can't even grow facial hair!—man's face. His expression slightly softens as he glances at Lu with what appears to be fondness.

Probably a trick of the lighting.

"Luffy-ya."

"Fuckin—hello!?" Ace shouts, trying to piece together how the hell he missed this. And what the hell does the hag do all day? Sure, she yells at him for coming home late, but she lets a fucking pedophile into his baby brother's room without a care in the world. Wait… does she even know that this creep is in here?! And where the hell is Sabo!?

"Oh. Sorry, Ace!" Luffy laughs, sitting up, revealing more and more of his bare chest as the blanket droops lower and lower.

"A-Are you kidding me!?" in a rush of limbs, Ace is pulling the blanket up to the idiot's chin, refusing to acknowledge the discarded pile of clothes that say he's already a bit too late to try hiding his brothers body, or innocence.

That fucking bastard!

"I'm gonna kill you!" Ace prepares to lunge again, uncaring of Luffy's pout and Trafalgar's bored demeanor at the action. But before he can, a booming voice is coming from down the hall.

"No one's killin' anybody in this house," Dadan's voice echoes, then adds, seemingly as an afterthought, "too much evidence."

"But—!" Ace Portgas does not whine, dammit, despite what the hag, Sabo, Marco, Thatch, and Pops say!

"I don't wanna hear it! Your brother's nineteen—legal—which means he's an adult." The sound of a bed creaking follows, as if the hag's trying to get comfortable, "By the way, why the hell are you home so late!?"

"What!?" Ace exclaims, his face flushed.

"You—you hag!"

Down the hall, Sabo groans from inside his own room, covering his face with his pillow.

They need to get their own apartment.

A/N:

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece

I've been neglecting to post this for months—which is a good thing!—otherwise I wouldn't have had the lovely MarieMichaels help with the mess known as my unedited writing!

Thank you, M&M, for fighting off my fussing and helping me at 4 am!

I've said it more than once, you're amazing!