In the Words (of Satan)

Chapter 4: Well, That Happened

Song: I Ain't Afraid by Holly Near, or Gimme Knowledge by King Shelter

If you decided to look up the definition of awesome, there are two meanings. The general term people use means cool or excellent; it's an informal meaning of a word that over time became a wannabe troll twelve-year-old boy's meaning of "cool." The original definition of awesome means awe-inspiring, extremely daunting, or inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear, since awe also means fear. I can honestly say that going face-to-face with a fictional god was the original definition of awesome. I am honestly so grateful I didn't shit myself because I think that I may have if I was anybody else.

So there we were, you know, just staring each other down. Ishvala, the ever awe-inspiring, alchemy forbidding, stands-with-his-arms-crossed-to-scare-the-shit-out-of-you, god of the Ishvalans, and I, Ruth, your super awkward, kind of small, reincarnated-and-stuck-in-this-terrible-universe five-year-old Ishvalan.

If you need a visual, imagine Quentin Tarantino's classic Mexican standoff scenes that he puts in nearly every movie he has made. The only difference was that this was an all-powerful god, and I was a tiny mortal child. Regardless, we were staring each other down, waiting for the other to say the first word. I decided that the tension was uncomfortable, so I decided to break it…

...in the least eloquent way possible.

"Uh, hi," I said.

Ishvala raised his eyebrows at me. "Are you serious?"

I shrugged. "I thought it might be nice if I gave you a greeting before you and your all-powerful godly powers decided to smite me. I mean, if you want, I can prostrate in front of you and beg you not to kill me, but I'm kind of guessing that you can tell I'm not that kind of gal."

"I don't need you praying to me and begging how terribly sorry you are," he said. "I need you shutting your mouth. There's a reason why I can't tell them."

What possible reason would he have had to not tell his own prophets that something bad was coming for them?

"Can Truth hear us right now?" I asked.

Ishvala frowned and uncrossed his arms. "I don't know, but that isn't the point. The point is that you can't tell them."

I stared at him. This god, a god whose people would be persecuted for the next, maybe twenty years, didn't want me telling them that they ought to prepare for their potential imminent doom? What a load of absolute bullshit.

"You don't want me telling my people, your people, to start protecting themselves? And besides, I hardly divulged anything," I said. "All I said was that people were going to die and that I wasn't sure when….and I told a kid that he was going to die too, which might not have been the best idea, but I didn't say a lot! Honestly!"

"You told them they were going to die by the hands of the Amestrians!"

"Well they are!"

He smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. "That's-you can't interfere! I can't interfere!"

It kind of clicked at that point.

"You can't talk to them, can you?" I asked. He said nothing, he only looked at me with that frown on his face. "You-you're powerless. You don't have power anymore. The only thing that's keeping you alive is the belief they have in you!"

"It's been like this for a long time."

"But, you're a god," I said. "I don't understand, how is it possible that even though these people wholeheartedly believe in you, that you don't have power anymore?"

"I'm tired, Ruth. At some point, gods die."

"But isn't Truth a god too then? Why isn't Truth dead?"

"Truth isn't dead because, and even I don't quite understand this, It is a constant. Truth has always been here and will continue to be even long after I have slowly become one with this particular universe, and you have been reincarnated time and time again," said Ishvala. "At some point things started, but Truth was here throughout all of it. Truth has been here forever, and will continue to stay."

I was speechless. Not because I didn't have anything to say, but because I had so much to say. I kind of just stood there for a couple seconds before I gave Ishvala my attention once more.

"I need you to understand that you can't suddenly just tell everyone what will happen," he said.

"I won't say everything," I promised. "I just need them to know so we can protect ourselves. We'll die without that."

He didn't say anything, he just looked sad.

"Let me be your messenger," I said suddenly.

"My what?"

"Your messenger. Like, not a prophet or anything, but I could talk to you or something and you could tell me what you think I ought to do," I explained. "It would be great because that way, you'll have a voice to the people."

Ishvala looked like he was thinking about it, and from the way his brow furrowed and he squinted his eyes, I thought he was actually going to consider it. But alas, I have been wrong before, and once again, this was one of those times.

"No."

"No?" I asked incredulously. Why would he say no? We could have easily managed to create communication between him and our people, so why would he say no? "Why not?"

"I don't have enough power to pull you here," he stated simply.

Oh. So, he really had no power left. This god couldn't do anything anymore, the only thing he could do was watch as his people would ultimately meet their doom. He couldn't even pull me to this part of his world—the fact that I ended up here was a mistake.

"So you'll just die here," I said slowly.

"It seems so."

"Huh. You really have nothing left?"

He shook his head. How could a god that looked just as imposing and fierce as Ishvala be able to just fade away? In a way, it felt wrong, because it takes away from faith and facts that are supposed to be instilled in you by your ancestors. I could have tried to think about it logically, but let's face it, nothing about this whole thing was logical...at all.

I felt my feet start to drift away like sand in the wind and I knew that I would soon go back to my body. I couldn't go before one final push.

"I know that you said that you and I can't do anything together, and I get it-I'm not supposed to act all omniscient, but isn't there something you can do to help me?" I pleaded. This final push had to work, it had to. I was desperate, but Ishvala shook his head.

"I don't think I can, I'm sorry Ruth."

My heart felt so heavy in my chest as he said it. There was nothing he was willing to do to help me rescue my people, his people. "I need want your apologies," I spat. "I need your help."

He stepped forward and closed his hands around mine. "I'm sorry, Ruth, but there's nothing I can do for you." He kissed my forehead and I felt a searing pain that bled down into the rest of my body. He stepped back and held my face in his palms.

"Be careful with this," he whispered. "And even though I can't help you save our people, I have faith that you will without endangering their survival."

As I slowly woke up, I could hear Ishvala's voice ringing in my ears. "Remember, it's about survival, Ruth. It's about survival."

I would undoubtedly be alone in this, and how would I possibly know who could help me? I woke up to see the ceiling of my own home and my parents and the prophets from Ishvala's temple waiting for me to open my eyes.

"What did you see, Ruth?" My mother asked me.

I couldn't help it, all I could do was cry, so I did.

A/N:

I know that scenes are short, but I do that because otherwise the storyline doesn't flow quite as well. I usually put song suggestions at the top because of the themes in them and because they sort of partially give me ideas about how to write out chapters.

You should review, and like, let me know what you think (because I enjoy reading what your thoughts are-and they give me motivation!)

Hope you're having a doozy of a day~~

(I don't know why I do that)

-Jax from planet JUKEBOX