In this chapter know that all of my friends except Flavio are girls, And if you haven't figured it out yet I am a girl, and 'Seamus' was a girl with a boy, I had to flip roles though to fit the story. (it's like that for most everything, to fit.)

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of rape and burning, detailed cutting, and a suicide attempt.

2011~ Losing Hope

Arthur needing to get away from fighting in the family, still spends a lot of time with his neighbors. One time he cuts grass with Kelly, Michael almost chopping his foot off in the process. He misses the last day of school.

2012~Looking Up

Arthur is having a rough time at school, till he meets this guy Brian, they become best friends, and tell each other everything, well almost. He finds the other male interesting, and nice, things he never found in people. He was light in the dark, he was beautiful.

2015~ Fucked

Seamus was raped, he told us he was going to a friends house, but went to meet with someone online. She bought Seamus clothes, and the ones that Seamus borrowed from Arthur were never returned.

Kelly and Michael move, finally leaving Arthur alone, he still never knows why he stayed so long.

His cousin's grandma kills herself, his great grandma dies from a heart attack. Life isn't going great.

Arthur has a crush on his friend Alfred, and right before he tells him, he starts dating Lesley, man that guy was lucky.

2016~ You're What?!

Flavio tells us he is gay, no surprise there, he has always been a little more queer than a football bat. What does come as a shock to his friends is when Arthur tells them he is bi. The support him though, he later finds that Alfred liked him as well, but won't give up Lesley.

He starts to find that shockingly Brian has liked him for awhile, but refuses to act on it for fear of hurting their friendship.

Arthur starts to give more advice to his depressed peers, causing him depression, he starts to cut savoring the pain so he feels something. The blood was so much at times he would have to lick it for it to be controllable, he starts to crave the taste.

He misses going to therapy, his parents not understanding why he begs for an appointment, or starts to only wear long sleeved dark clothes. Them not noticing when he starts to take a few random pills out of the cabinet. Dylan and Alistair were gone, living somewhere else, and Seamus was always busy looking for his next fuck.

Arthur never got noticed by his parents, not when he stayed up crying when they were upset with him,or started taking different types of knives from his dad's collection to use. Not when he started to take shots out of their alcohol stash, when they were gone or asleep.

He knew he was good at acting so he never told them. He didn't want them to know, he never told them he was bi either knowing how bad it was when they found out Dylan was gay. Instead he confides in Seamus, not expecting the reaction he got.

"Don't tell them, you'll never see the light of day again." Seamus warns Arthur, "It's like alcoholism, you can ignore it and it'll go away." Saying that to Arthur was not only maddening but sickening, he started cutting more, deeper and 10 lines instead of five.

He comes home one day to find that Seamus told them he was Bi, his dad surprisingly supportive, his mom wanted him to focus on the straight side of it. They never stopped fighting after that.

2017~ New year

His parents are gone one day, he wants to get high feeling, he has always been smart so he does something he know will work but is also stupid. He takes 20 pills, including Oxycodone, hydrocodone, old hormone meds and what he later finds out is anti-depressants they were Dylan's looks like they really were similar in more ways than one.

He washes them down with a little bit of every alcohol he can find. He tells Brian what he did just in case, he freaks out, but he passes out at 2pm not waking up till noon the next day. His parents never noticed anything.

Arthur really tries to stop cutting he has been okay for awhile, but still real stressed one day, so he doesn't cut he takes and incense and lights the end, putting it out on his arm. He does it ten or twelve times before he stops, still needing to cut he does 18 lines more than ever before he swears not to cut again.

He lasts for two months, but then he speaks with Alfred, who was trying (for the 4th time that year) to commit suicide, he wasn't good at it, but he kept trying anyway, he was anorexic and bulimic, so he was always skinny, and I was one of many (all the rest professionals) he spoke to.

Arthur's relapse was on May 30th only making two lines, he has not touched a blade since, and alcohol and any meds make him sick. He still has scars all the way back from february of this year, and doubts that all of them will go away, but he is seeing a therapist, and getting life together.

Sad thing is his parents and family still don't know, it's a secret only him and Brian share.

Wow, this was hands down the hardest thing I've ever had to write, I kinda regret saying don't leave reviews, I need to know what you all think! I didn't write this for attention, or to get into trouble, I just really needed to tell everyone, Life is not getting better for me but I am, I want to make the most out of it anyway. I've never been able to tell this, but writing is my outlet and with all of this I can finally say it all. I want you guys to tell me your stories, and problems, I want to be someone you don't ave to worry about judging you. I want everyone to know that this makes me stronger.- Obsessed fangirl