"GREETINGS, VIEWERS OF THE UNFORTUNATE. IT IS I, MERASMUS! HERE TO GIVE THE PUBLIC WHAT IT DESIRES. A NEW CHAPTER FROM THE LETHARGIC, HEDONISTIC, AND OUTRIGHT IRRESPONSIBLE WRITER OF ALL TIME GATORDILE2."

"AND TO DO THAT, I USE THE MOST MAGICALLY POWERFUL DAY OF THE YEAR TO BRING HIS SLOTH-LIKE BODY BACK INTO WRITING. THE BIRTHDAY OF NOLAN NORTH!"

"NOW RISE, YOU REPUSIVE BASTARD AND MAKE THIS CHAPTER!"

"Uhhhh, what?!"

"YOU MUST COMPLETE THE NEW CHAPTER OF YOUR STORY!"

"….…Okay, but don't blame me if it's crap."

"BUT I CAN BLAME YOU FOR THE UNNESSCESSARY WAITING!"

"…fair."

Legends say that once in a year or so, a bastard writer rises from his ass to continue writing down his shitty story that people have somehow enjoy, despite having multiple reasons not to.

Basically "BOOM, I'M BACK BABIES, WITH NOT ONLY MY ORIGINAL NAME AS WELL, BUT A NEW CHAPTER TO SOMEHOW ENTERTAIN YOU ALL! YEEEEAAAAAHHHH!"

If that made no sense whatsoever, this was just my way of explaining why I'm making this chapter on Halloween, which I just learned is Nolan North's birthday, hence the dialogue up there.

Also, isn't it ironic that the fastest member of the group took the longest time to get his chapter out, though I would like to blame having to edit his endless onslaught of narcissistic bragging, but I rather blame myself and my laziness.

Reviews

Perseus12: Nice to entertain ya once again.

buzzsaw935: I can see some pros with that (Easier to remember what each student has, and gives a possible deeper connection between each mercenaries and the students they teach.), so would it go like this? (Or do you have a different and more than likely better choices)

Ruby- Scout or Sniper?

Weiss- Medic?

Blake- Spy

Yang- Heavy or Pyro or Scout?

Jaune- Demoman or Medic?

Nora- Demoman

Pyrrha- Sniper or Demoman?

Ren- Sniper?

Sun- Scout

Scarlet- Sniper or Scout?

Sage- Demoman

Neptune- Engineer?

Coco- Heavy

Fox- Medic

Velvet- Scout?

Yatsuhachi- Demoman

Penny- Engineer

Ciel- Medic?

Flint- Soldier?

Neon- Scout

Cinder- Sniper or Pyro?

Emerald- Spy

Mercury- Scout

Neo- Spy

Cardin- Pyro?

Russel- Scout?

Dove- Scout or Sniper or Spy?

Lark- Demoman?

sgt. patches: well it's now fourteen months since I last updated, so yeah. Also the fact that you want me to hurry up tells me you actually like this pile of shit I call my fanfiction, enough to desire more, despite its major flaws in many layers of literacy.

KingJGamer: yeah that make sense since Ruby is more than capable of aiming head shots, even at the speeds she travels (ALSO, SON OF A BITCH, WHY DID I FORGET THE SNIPER RIFLES!). Penny with fellow machines while holding a shotgun and numerous swords above her heads , it's a nice thought. Sun with the force-a-nature seems about right compared to the other shotguns in scouts arsenal.

BulletBooze: That was just me rambling about unrelated stuff, although if I were to do a story based on that terrible idea, I'm fairly certain that there would be others who can do that story much better than I can.

robocroc: the "Meet the Medic" reaction will come, in about a couple years and I'll doubt if it could even be considered 'good' much less 'great' like your expectations would suggest.

Crescentation: Right now, though I have to confess, that most of the time between last chapter and now was spent lazing around doing nothing, at least until my sis-in-law found a calico kitten that I had to raise, which may have brought me to work on this, making this somewhat ironically

Guest: He-hey, look, you shape-shifted into a wrong guy today.

Anyway, enough of this, to anyone who understandingly skipped all this, I'm a shit writer, my old name is back, lets get this cringe-making presentation of terribleness done already.

Meet the Scout

"Alright, who's this one going to be?" Ruby asked excitedly with a bit of anxiety, as she hoped she wouldn't get knocked out with snacks again for the rest of the videos, especially not if it's the sniper video.

The video soon began playing some sort of stealth action music while it transitions to a warehouse door rising to reveal a crouching Scout along with other RED members as they see a BLU Sniper aiming his rifle, a BLU Engineer running towards his sentry, a BLU Spy smoking, and a BLU Soldier juggling his rockets in front of a BLU Pyro.

"Oh, so he's next." Weiss said with a heavy tone of disappointment, as the Scout was really the least interesting of the nine mercenaries due to two factors of him that gave a group a generally low opinion of the mercenary, his unrelenting boasting and his less than stellar body that doesn't back up any of said boasting.

"Hey, don't be so down Weiss, he was bound to show up at some point." Ruby assured the heiress in an attempt to lift up her spirits, despite herself being a little underwhelmed by the Boston, though he does make her feel more confident as he's appears to be another small speedster among taller and more intimidating combatants like her. "Plus, look at that shotgun, it just seems so powerful." The reaper added on, with her weapon fan-mode activated, focusing on the shoulder cannon, much to the amusement of the group who just seems to accept that this is who Ruby is and they should just deal with it.

"Please, I got much stronger shotguns, and I ain't talking about ember celica." Yang boast while flexing her powerful arms, which the rest couldn't deny that it's much more impressive than the Scouts' slim arms.

"Well, he may be small compared to the others and a bit annoying, but he must be good enough to be a part of the group" Sun said with a hint of optimism, as while the Scout isn't exactly what is expected of a (supposedly) highly dangerous mercenary, there isn't just one way to be an awesome fighter.

"Actually when comparing the straiten heights of the mercenaries, it appears that Scout is taller than the Pyro and Engineer while only shorter than the Soldier by an inch." Penny informed, much to the surprise of the others.

"Really? Well I guess his slouch does make him seem smaller than when I first met him." Coco thought out loud, remembering meeting the Scout in Mann Co. and seeing how much his height differentiate when he straighten up.

The Scout then reloads his scattergun as he charges ahead the rest of the RED team to attack the BLU team, who naturally attempts to defend with a Heavy and a sentry gun, but the Scout avoids all of the numerous bullets flying towards him as he shoots his pistol and scatter gun to the enemies while jumping over to buildings.

"Wait, did you see that?" Blake asked suddenly after noticing certain differences in the building between the beginning and now.

"See what?" Yang inquired, wondering what the quiet-loving cat faunus saw that would make her say something. (Then again, why would she even be here, if at least all of Team RWBY and JNPR knew this would be far from a quiet viewing, especially if they and some others are watching it together.)

"Did the sentry on that building get changed with a Heavy?" Blake said, as they rewind to see where the sentry and Heavy are standing before realizing that somehow they were changed between shots.

"Wait, seriously?" Neptune asked, not knowing of the change before Blake pointed it out.

"So is this actually a staged battle? Sort of dampens the action." Scarlet commented, as while a staged fight could be exciting to see, it does seem a bit pointless when you know its results are predetermined.

"Though who's to say its completely staged?" Coco said, garnering confused looks from the group.

"What if the people making these videos happens to be directed by one of those know-nothing know-it-all types that tend to completely stop everything over minor details." She clarified, which seems to make almost everyone understand, especially with how short (yet effective) these videos are.

"Then why did they changed the turret with the Heavy and not redo it in the first place?" Ren inquired, still in the tight hug of Nora.

"Well the thing could auto aim its targets, making it hard to show what he could do without some unpleasant injuries. Plus I didn't say anything about consistency or that the speedy sloucher wasn't the director." The fashionista answered, before getting back to the video.

The battle then forwards to the Scout avoiding a BLU Soldiers' rockets and a BLU Pyros' flames as he runs across a train track to get to the central control point, avoiding another rocket and a passing train that runs over and kills the pursuing Soldier and Pyro.

"Are they actually fighting at an active train station?" Weiss said astonished, since while it was strange to have mercenaries battle on a train station, she figured it was most likely abandoned, not have actual trains go through it as some sort of hazard to possibly be more entertaining.

"Guess so, though it sort of looks amazing." Jaune responded, gaining some weird looks from the others, which he noticed, before fumbling to acknowledge what his words imply.

"Oh, I didn't mean like in one of those cruel torture films, I just meant in an action film way." The greenhorn knight explained in his defense, letting the questioning looks shift into a slight understanding nod.

The 'Meet the Scout' title card then appears, featuring a bat kill icon. The Scout himself walks in front of the title card from off screen, putting his finger on his chin before putting both his hands together in a thinking moment before speaking. "Uh…I-I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to?" He asked, gesturing to the title card behind him.

The group was shocked by Scouts' unexpected and somewhat forth wall breaking entrance, especially Weiss as she groaned while putting her hand on her forehead.

"Oh no, please don't let him be one of those forth wall breakers." Weiss pleaded, as she first found out about these types of characters from some of Ruby's comics (who thought it would be great team bonding experience if everyone read some of the comics she had), especially the ones who are hard to kill and be as narcissistic as the Scout.

"I think it's more of it being show as a recording set, since these are supposed to be interviews." Blake said, knowing how the others mercenaries, with a minor exception with Soldier, directly speaking to the assumed camera that records their videos.

"So they make an entire screen just for the intro cards? Sorta seems wasteful to do that." Nora pondered.

"Maybe that's where they're usually interview, just with a green-screen to make the backgrounds for them to talk about." Velvet suggested, as her hobby in photography did get her to dabble a bit into filming.

"That does explain why the grenade didn't explode after being activated by the Demoman in his interview." Ciel noted with a pondering look in her face.

It cuts to a BLU Heavy sitting at a BLU control point surrounded by shipping containers and was about to a take a bite out of his Sandvich when he got interrupted by a poking bat, courtesy of the Scout crouching on a box who asked "Yo, what's up?".

"He's dead." Neptune stated

"While the Heavy's eating a sandwich?" Ruby voiced out the question that was in some of the students mindset, as the Scout did had the element of surprise, which while he did squandered, did mean he still has an advantage.

"Oh, yeah." Sun responded, which is a sort of ironic considering who's talking

"Absolutely" Weiss affirmed with no doubt

"Yes" Yatsuhachi simply answered

"I can't even see what's happening, but I know that the Scout is going to down hard." Fox said with a bit of a joking tone, which did get Ruby, Yang, Jaune, Nora, and Sun to snicker, albeit with self-control from guilt (even if the person saying it is blind himself), while the rest of CFVY chuckle a little, used to their teammates' blind-related responses that pop in from time to time.

It then cuts back to the Scout in front of the title card. "D-Do you have any idea, any idea who I am?" He asked with a smug smile on his face.

"A narcissistic speedy idiot who's in way over his head." Scarlet 'answered', which was met with laughter and applause.

"Dude, nice." Sun said as he and the rest of team SSSN complimented their redhead teammate, which the pirate more than gladly accepted.

Cuts to the Scout and Heavy yelling as the Heavy tries to punch the Scout but misses due to the Scout speed and small size as he ducks and weaves before putting his fists up in a boxer-like stance.

"Huh, guess he does know how to fight, or at the very least dodge hits." Yang complimented, as she too saw some Ruby in the speedy mercenary, though that's something she would rather not think too much about it, as it could lead to disturbing thoughts.

"Wait, why doesn't he just use his minigun to deal with the Scout?" Nora asked, as it seems strange for the Heavy, who's interview is mostly talking about the details of his gun.

"Well, the Scout's already close enough to Heavy where he can't just pull it out and fire it on him without expecting any sort of injuries, especially if his gun is like Gianduja." Coco answered, acknowledging her weakness to guys like Scout, even if it wasn't exactly easy to admit considering who the Scout is.

"Ah.…wait who's Gianduja?" Nora asked in confusion.

"My purse-minigun." Coco replied, which got Nora to make a face of realization before they continued on.

Cuts back to title card Scout as he says "Basically – kind of a big deal." before it cuts to Scout strangling Heavy with his bat.

"Eh, more like a medium kind of deal, at best." Blake responded, getting joyous responses from not only her team and JNPR, but also from Sun and Velvet, much to the delight of their teams.

"Ahhh, was our brave leader getting buddy-buddy with miss silent?" Neptune smugly asked, with Scarlet and Sage getting hints of smugness in their faces, which Sun opted to write off as being jealous at getting to be friends with someone like Blake.

"It's nice you know someone out of our team." Contrary to the bro-like attitude of team SSSN, team CFVY was much more openly supportive of their faunus member, with Coco patting the bunny girls' head while Fox and Yatsuhachi look proud of the usually shrinking violet.

Another cut back to the title Scout as he flexes his scrawny arm while looking at it fondly. "Oh man, that's beautiful. Heh!" The Bostonian said, actually sounding impressed with his toothpick arms.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Yang, Nora, Sun, Coco, and even Yatsuhachi laugh in hysteria, before they all subconsciously agree to flex their actual muscles and appropriately admire what they wield.

"Guess they really took that joke much more seriously?" Neon asked with a tilt to her head in a confused way, with the everyone else agreeing with the colorful kitten if they weren't in awe at the sight of the powerhouses unleashing their strength in the art of poses, before they quickly settled back into their seats to continue watching while still letting out so light chuckles.

It then cuts to the Heavy putting the Scout in a headlock, as he tries to get out of the large Russian, as both intensely scream while doing so.

"Whoa, he must have actual muscles if he isn't already snapped in half by the Heavy." Jaune said with amazement at how the Scout is managing to hold out against the giant, a sentiment shared by the more optimistic students.

"It could just be the Scout making himself look better than what he actually did." Coco responded, with the more realistic huntsman in agreement of that idea, given how much he paints himself to be better than what he actually is.

"Perhaps it's both, he could have the strength to at least make an noticeable effort against the Heavy's grasp, but he would make it seem more impressive than what it would actually look like." Ren suggested while still in the grasp of Nora, which both sides did agree on before continuing onward.

It then cuts to the title Scout "Ya' listenin'? OK, grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brotha'-" Scout paused a bit to poke the camera, leaving a fingerprint on the lens, before continuing "-I hurt people."

"Should be quite obvious, considering he is a mercenary, whose job it is to inflict harm on targets if given the right amount of currency." Ciel stated, which did get some of the fellow huntsman-in-training to think about what that meant, though they remembered it was against each other, making the whole ordeal seem less serious.

It cuts back to the fight, where the now-released Scout whacks his bat to the Heavy's lower midsection as he yells out a "BOINK!", while the Heavy lets a small groan of pain.

The males in the audience winced in pain while subconsciously protecting their front tails, as it seems to look like the Scout hit the Heavy in the crotch.

"You girls are lucky to not have deal with that sort of pain." Scarlet commented, the pain of the attack still haunting his memories.

"Actually, dispute common belief, females can still feel the same amount of pain in the groin area as males." Penny replied, much to the surprise of the less intelligently-inclined members.

"Wait, really?" Jaune asked in surprise, as did many of the guys there, before feeling some sort of equality between the two genders in something so terribly painful.

"Yes, I would demonstrate it, though it is against common courtesy to do so unless one volunteers." Penny answered before looking towards the girls to see if one would volunteer, only to be met with looks of disgust and a bit of terror, with the terror being bigger to RWBY, who knew of how strong the girl was, and Velvet, who is just naturally scared of getting hit in the crotch, especially after hearing that it's just as painful for her as it would a guy.

"I'm a force a' nature!" Title Scout proclaims before it cuts to Scout uppercutting the grimacing Heavy with his bat as he yells out "BONK!".

"Well, he isn't exactly wrong." Pyrrha said, impressed by the unassuming (though generally over-hyped) strength that the Scout is capable of dealing out with his lanky body and one-handed swing, motivating her to train Jaune to become a huntsman he and she dream of, and maybe get the knight to go out with her, or even further, but she had to stop herself before she embarrass herself and her teammates.

"If you was from where I was from, you'd be fuckin' dead!" Title Scout state before it cuts to the fight, where a collapsed Heavy is desperately reaching for his Sandvich until the Scout ran up a shipping container, jumps off and slams his bat on the Heavy's head, which is then followed by a "WOOOO!" from the title Scout, as the Team Fortress 2 ending sequence commences.

"If your still alive after being where you are, I could own that entire place, easily." Yang jokingly bragged.

"I second that sentiment." Coco added, followed by Sun and Flint.

"Am I the only one who feels bad for the Heavy?" Velvet asked with a bit of snark, not exactly pleased with how they ignore how the Heavy was grasping for his sandwich, which did make her feel bad seeing as how they were kinda routing for the Scout.

"After the other videos, I gotta say no, especially with how impressive it was for the Scout to land that hit." Sun replied, bringing down the rabbit faunus mood, as indicated by her ears, before she lightly punch Sun in the shoulder, which the monkey faunus didn't seem to care much about, though the glares form team CFVY do unnerve him a bit.

After the sequence, it shows the Scout sitting on top of the twitching body of the Heavy near the now RED control point while eating his Sandvich.

"So, what did you think of the Scout now?" Ruby curiously asked, which the rest of the group to think about their opinions .

"Okay, he might still be an annoying egomaniac, but he has shown he is capable of going toe-to-toe with the likes of the other mercenaries." Weiss went first with honesty and logic on both good and bad points of the Bostonian.

"He sorta like the child of me and Ren." Nora said, surprising everyone with that comment in multiple ways, before the agile gunslinger covered her mouth to silence her and made motions to continue before the thunder girl does.

"He ain't got much in the muscles department, but he can sure move around with style and capability." Flint stated in appreciation, seeing as how the Scout and Neon appear to have similar methods of attacking.

"Well, now that we finished with the vain speedster, lets see who's next in this series." Yang said as everyone continue to the next video.

"So, are we not going to talk about the fingerprint in the camera, or?" Blake said just before Yang played the upcoming video.

"Wha-" Yang couldn't finished her word before the next video played.

Author Notes:

As everyone notice, I haven't updated this story in MONTHS, and to add insult to injury, I didn't even have much to do in those months, aside from doing some light cleaning, basic laziness, and recently taking care of a little kitten. But I'm back and I might feel like writing down crappy chapters, though I do have to make some edits in the previous chapters, primarily about CFVY, as Fox makes blind jokes and is blind with telepathy, Coco glasses has ulterior motives and a fear of Junction, Yatsuhachi has a habit, and Velvet is a last resort.

Also, I have this new fanfiction idea with the Total Drama series called Massive Drama Island. I wanted to call it Total Massive Island since it sounds less dramatic (obviously), but that was already taken almost a decade ago. Though it's only one short chapter, but I feel compelled to be a bit more original, even if it doesn't really matter that much. I would apologize for this if other writers didn't do this as well, combining with the fact that you guys have already been waiting forever for each chapter, but I might as well do it.

I'm sorry for doing this to all you amazing people, as each view and especially review give me hope and detemmienation, instead of despair and pusillanimity. So I shall continue to work on this story till its either done or if I'm dead, hopefully the former, but I will also work on my new fanfic as well to satisfy my mind craving to get it out to the internet.

So in summary, I'm doing shit and I wish all you guys luck for the years to come into waiting and reviewing. And thus, I shall go get myself a snack while your patience is put to the test.

With thanks and BONKS,

Gatordile2